My Life as a White Trash Zombie by Diana Rowland is awesome!
So this is a first person tale of Angel Crawford, a young lady who wakes up in a hospital only to slowly discover that she is a zombie now. Also, she's a drug addict and convicted felon who lives with her alcoholic father in their crappy trailer.
There are 2 major elements that make this such an entertaining story. First of all, Rowland does a great job of tweaking the zombie mythos without losing the horror. Brains have always been a staple in the zombie appetite, but it never seemed to factor in to any of the zombie fiction I encountered in any significant way. Here, brains are necessary for Angel's very survival. She is gifted with a job as a coroner's assistant from the mysterious figure who turned her. This gives her access to brains which keep her healthy, but a few days deprivation result in a growing stench and a rapid deterioration resulting in rotting flesh and the quick descent into the shambling zombie we are all familiar with. It's an interesting tweak that I quite enjoyed. Angel will literally rot and die if her access to brains is cut off. This way, we get a coherent narrator, who also rots and gets really, really gross from time to time.
The other major element is Angel herself. This is actually a redemption story in the guise of a horror story. Angel's story starts with her life in absolute shambles. She was found naked and drugged on the side of the road. Her sort of boyfriend is a druggy too, and her dad is in an unemployed drunken turd. It's hard to be in a worse state than that. Her new situation ironically gives her a new lease on life. She suddenly finds herself with a job she has to keep in order to survive and her new zombification has left her unable to feel the effects of any drugs or alcohol. It's like an instant rehab program. Angel's struggle to finally gain control of her life is the biggest draw here, and it's a complete joy to read. Plus there's all kinds of murder and grossness going on. There is also a slight dash of romance, but it's a zombie book, so if you have sex without the proper amount of brains in your system, clothes aren't the only thing that can fall off.... In all seriousness though, this book is great fun, and I finally found a Louisiana horror series I like better than the True Blood books.
10/10
Thursday, May 1, 2014
100 by 30 Book 56 - White Oleander
White Oleander by Janet Fitch
This is a pretty amazing book, but definitely not for the faint of heart. The story follows Astrid as she is passed around through the foster system after her mother is sent to jail. What follows is a harrowing tale of 5 years of physical abuse, neglect, and emotional abuse. Throughout Astrid's journey, she is trying to find comfort where she can, and slowly comes to realize the extant of her mother's extreme narcissism. It's a nice portrait of a child coming to the realization that the parent they loved was actually abusive. There comes a point about two thirds of the way through the book where I almost gave up because I got so bummed out. Don't worry though, it gets better and the final confrontation between Astrid and her mom is one of the best written scenes I've ever read. I highly, highly recommend this book, but you will probably want to have a puppy or other cuddly creature nearby.
9/10
This is a pretty amazing book, but definitely not for the faint of heart. The story follows Astrid as she is passed around through the foster system after her mother is sent to jail. What follows is a harrowing tale of 5 years of physical abuse, neglect, and emotional abuse. Throughout Astrid's journey, she is trying to find comfort where she can, and slowly comes to realize the extant of her mother's extreme narcissism. It's a nice portrait of a child coming to the realization that the parent they loved was actually abusive. There comes a point about two thirds of the way through the book where I almost gave up because I got so bummed out. Don't worry though, it gets better and the final confrontation between Astrid and her mom is one of the best written scenes I've ever read. I highly, highly recommend this book, but you will probably want to have a puppy or other cuddly creature nearby.
9/10
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
100 by 30 Books 54 and 55 - Buffy, Season 8
Buffy The Vampire Slayer: season 8: Vol 1-6
(contains massive spoilers)
So, the TV show has continued on in comic book form. How does the change of medium affect one of my all time favorite properties?
First of all, the comic book edition is the first to really go big in the scale of events. Due to the events of the season 7 finale, we know have an army of Slayers running special ops missions across the globe and we get some huge battles. Also, Dawn becomes a Giant, a centaur, and a living stuffed dolly. So the battles and the big set pieces are cool, but I do have some issues.
First, the limitations of the TV format kept the characters grounded. They didn't have the budget to make an army of ghost vampires or giant ancient gods, so instead they focused on the relationships, and it was amazing. Season 8 has gone to some wild and crazy places so far, and sometimes the characters stuff gets put on the back burner. The exception that proves the rule is a storyline involving Faith doing an undercover mission to take out a rogue Slayer. It is a very well written story that perfectly illustrates that she and Giles are much more willing to make the tough calls than Buffy and the tension is superb. We get some great character development from all three of them and it has been to highlight of the series so far.
Back to the wacky stuff. Season 8 seems to be almost giddy to bring back dead or unnecessary characters just because they can. For instance, the bring back Warren and Amy and make them a couple. First of all, gross. Secondly, I don't give a rat's ass what Amy is doing as she was barely ever more than a sketched out side character. And Third, can't we just let a good death be a good death? Warren's death scene was perfect in the show. The guy had it coming, and we got have Willow deal with the consequences of having taken a human life. Bringing the guy back and making him a comically inept super villain negates all of that. If Xander has to go through another love interest getting run through by a sharp metal object, I should at least get the consolation of dead bastards staying dead!
The love stuff also needs to be addressed. I don't see why they have to keep killing off the people Xander dates. There's no actors to pay anymore! What, did she take up to much of the ink budget?!? Boo. Kill some one else, maybe Andrew.
Lastly, and I must ask your patience as I try to write about this from my male, heterosexual perspective, but I think Buffy's little lesbian fling is total B.S. To give them credit, the writers do eventually get around to talking about it in an interesting way, and many characters are legitimately mad at Buffy for using a girl for comfort, then moving on. From the little I've gleaned from various advice columns, it does sound like lesbian women do have these kinds of things happen to them, and that sucks. No one wants to be used for somebody else's sexual exploration phase and basically get treated as an object rather than a person. So I think it's a good thing to talk about in any medium, but especially in one know for constantly drawing woman showing off their boobs and butt at the same time. That said, I didn't like the way it was addressed in the story. Maybe it needed Sarah Michelle Gellar's underrated acting chops, but I never got why Buffy, an extremely heterosexual character, would suddenly be sorta gay for a little bit. It all felt too fast and too forced. What eventually morphed into an interesting dialogue about relationships started like the opening of American Pie 2, with everyone barging in to learn about Buffy's dirty little secret, making the other woman into a punch line. You're better than that, Buffy writers.
I'm almost to the end of the season though, so I'll be back soon with the conclusion to a so-so Season 8.
6.5/10
(contains massive spoilers)
So, the TV show has continued on in comic book form. How does the change of medium affect one of my all time favorite properties?
First of all, the comic book edition is the first to really go big in the scale of events. Due to the events of the season 7 finale, we know have an army of Slayers running special ops missions across the globe and we get some huge battles. Also, Dawn becomes a Giant, a centaur, and a living stuffed dolly. So the battles and the big set pieces are cool, but I do have some issues.
First, the limitations of the TV format kept the characters grounded. They didn't have the budget to make an army of ghost vampires or giant ancient gods, so instead they focused on the relationships, and it was amazing. Season 8 has gone to some wild and crazy places so far, and sometimes the characters stuff gets put on the back burner. The exception that proves the rule is a storyline involving Faith doing an undercover mission to take out a rogue Slayer. It is a very well written story that perfectly illustrates that she and Giles are much more willing to make the tough calls than Buffy and the tension is superb. We get some great character development from all three of them and it has been to highlight of the series so far.
Back to the wacky stuff. Season 8 seems to be almost giddy to bring back dead or unnecessary characters just because they can. For instance, the bring back Warren and Amy and make them a couple. First of all, gross. Secondly, I don't give a rat's ass what Amy is doing as she was barely ever more than a sketched out side character. And Third, can't we just let a good death be a good death? Warren's death scene was perfect in the show. The guy had it coming, and we got have Willow deal with the consequences of having taken a human life. Bringing the guy back and making him a comically inept super villain negates all of that. If Xander has to go through another love interest getting run through by a sharp metal object, I should at least get the consolation of dead bastards staying dead!
The love stuff also needs to be addressed. I don't see why they have to keep killing off the people Xander dates. There's no actors to pay anymore! What, did she take up to much of the ink budget?!? Boo. Kill some one else, maybe Andrew.
Lastly, and I must ask your patience as I try to write about this from my male, heterosexual perspective, but I think Buffy's little lesbian fling is total B.S. To give them credit, the writers do eventually get around to talking about it in an interesting way, and many characters are legitimately mad at Buffy for using a girl for comfort, then moving on. From the little I've gleaned from various advice columns, it does sound like lesbian women do have these kinds of things happen to them, and that sucks. No one wants to be used for somebody else's sexual exploration phase and basically get treated as an object rather than a person. So I think it's a good thing to talk about in any medium, but especially in one know for constantly drawing woman showing off their boobs and butt at the same time. That said, I didn't like the way it was addressed in the story. Maybe it needed Sarah Michelle Gellar's underrated acting chops, but I never got why Buffy, an extremely heterosexual character, would suddenly be sorta gay for a little bit. It all felt too fast and too forced. What eventually morphed into an interesting dialogue about relationships started like the opening of American Pie 2, with everyone barging in to learn about Buffy's dirty little secret, making the other woman into a punch line. You're better than that, Buffy writers.
I'm almost to the end of the season though, so I'll be back soon with the conclusion to a so-so Season 8.
6.5/10
Monday, April 21, 2014
100 by 30 Book 53 - Hell Week
The second adventure of Maggie Quinn, teen psychic is even better than the first book. The events of the first book have caused a rift between Maggie and her best friend, her powers are getting greater, and her maybe boyfriend is being all weird. The book hits the ground running as Maggie goes undercover to skewer the world of Sorority life. But this is a modern fantasy novel in the vein of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so naturally Maggie ends of in the Sorority that has dealings with supernatural powers. Also, Maggie makes a very funny joke that is also a massive spoiler for the TV series ANGEL, so watch that before reading this book, but you should totally do both.
One of my favorite aspects of the book is that Maggie is allowed to screw up a little. She is seduced by the advantages suddenly afforded her just for being a member of the popular club. She doesn't go full Mean Girl, but what she does seems a lot more realistic. She's a smart, capable person who is getting unexpectedly positive attention everywhere she turns. Who wouldn't enjoy it if they suddenly started getting the recognition and breaks they thought they deserved? It would be enough to distract anyone from noticing that there is some serious demon worshippy stuff going on.
If you like the idea of College secret societies, but always wanted the characters to be much more relateable and the power source more supernatural, then this is the book for you.
8.5 out of 10
*side note- I'm way behind on writing these blogs. I just finished number 57. I'll try to get caught up soon. Cheers!
One of my favorite aspects of the book is that Maggie is allowed to screw up a little. She is seduced by the advantages suddenly afforded her just for being a member of the popular club. She doesn't go full Mean Girl, but what she does seems a lot more realistic. She's a smart, capable person who is getting unexpectedly positive attention everywhere she turns. Who wouldn't enjoy it if they suddenly started getting the recognition and breaks they thought they deserved? It would be enough to distract anyone from noticing that there is some serious demon worshippy stuff going on.
If you like the idea of College secret societies, but always wanted the characters to be much more relateable and the power source more supernatural, then this is the book for you.
8.5 out of 10
*side note- I'm way behind on writing these blogs. I just finished number 57. I'll try to get caught up soon. Cheers!
Monday, April 7, 2014
Some thoughts on Wrestlemania 30
So tonight, my wife, my dog and I sat down and I watched my first ever Wrestlemania live. I'd been going back and watching past matches here and there, but this is my first time watching the "Showcase of the Immortals". So what did I, a renewed fan since last November think? Let's go over it:
Pre-Show: Yeah yeah yeah, I know preshow matches don't really count, but the 4-way elimination tag team event was a pretty decent match and it was the beginning of a night where WWE looked to the future. We finally got to see Cesaro, probably the most physically impressive performer I've ever seen, break away from his tag team partner and make a move towards greatness. They call him the Swiss Superman for a reason, and he was just getting started....
Opening Segment: Hulk Hogan comes out... and can't remember the name of the stadium. There are few things more entertaining than watching 75,000 people tell arguably the most famous wrestle of all time that he's in the Superdome, not the Silverdome. Then my wife left the room to get a beverage... and Stone Cold Steve Austin came out!! He's pretty cool. Then the timer for the oven went off and my wife left again....and The Rock came out!!! He's pretty cool too. We got to see three of the biggest sports entertainers of all time share a couple of beers on stage and honestly, with the combined charisma those three guys have with an audience, I probably could have watched that for 4 hours.
Opening Match: Triple H vs. Daniel Bryan - Honestly, my wife and I spent most of this match trying to figure out why Triple H has such freakishly big nipples for a dude. I don't care how cold it is, man nipple should never create shadows that can be measured in inches... I'm just saying it's weird, and I don't like it. I thought the match was pretty great though. Daniel Bryan won (duh) but Triple H got a lot of nice heel moments to make the outlook bleak for Daniel to be able to physically compete in the Triple Threat main event match. (long story how that works, but this is basically a soap opera so just go with it)
6 man tag: The Shield vs. The New Age Outlaws and Kane - Squash match. boo. I saw The Shield vs. The Wyatt Family live in February. It was electric and one of the greatest things I've ever seen. This was three supremely gifted dudes beating the crap out of 3 guys in their late 40s for 5 minutes.
John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt - This was an interesting match. I love the Wyatt Family's creepy backwoods cult gimmick and I kind of appreciated the storytelling in this match. Older fans are desperate for John Cena to stop being such a goody two shoes dork with a limited move set, while he's also a role model for kids and the guy has granted over 400 wishes for the Make-a-Wish foundation. Basically, this was a pro-wrestling adaptation of the Luke/Vader showdown in Return of the Jedi (or Jesus being tempted in the wilderness if you want to blow it all out of proportion) I liked that they played with John Cena being tempted by the dark side, and honestly, he's WAY more interesting when he goes dark. It's too bad he's such a hero to the kids and ambassador for the product that he can never actually go evil but I liked the effort, and Bray Wyatt is awesome.
Andre the Giant Memorial 30 Man Battle Royal: So 30 guys all get in the ring and play a round of "THE FLOOR IS LAVA!" It's silly and stupid until you get at least 20 of these guys out of the ring so there is some room to work. Kofi Kingston as usual proves that he is the master of doing something totally mind-blowing, and then losing 30 seconds later. In this case He gets thrown over a ring post to the outside of the ring, falling roughly 9ft and somehow landing his feet on the bottom step, avoiding elimination. Look up the clip. The guy is amazing, and a fan favorite among people who live in my house. To end this match, the previously mentioned Cesaro lifts up the 7 ft tall, 500lb Big Show and throws him over the top rope. One, This is way more impressive a feat that Hulk Hogan body slamming Andre the Giant, and two, it sets up Cesaro to be a main event level talent in the very near future....and he won a big, stupid trophy.
The Undertaker vs Brock Lesnar - First of all, I want to apologize to all the life long WWE fans out there. I did not grow up with the steak, I watched the matches on Netflix and fast-forwarded through a lot of them until Shawn Michaels fought him in back to back years. Their first match was perfect. The next was pretty good. Then I sat through two years of the Undertaker barely able to fight Triple H. Last years CM Punk Match was pretty good, but by that point it had been almost 5 years since the Undertaker had shown me the kind of athleticism that earned him the nickname of the Phenom in the first place. I wasn't seeing an epic match for the ages, I was seeing a guy in his late 40s do his damndest to electrify a crowd, and coming back with less and less to give every year. He was spending so much time lying on the ground in the last few matches that The Streak was becoming a parody of itself. To me, The guy who didn't grow up invested in the streak, I thought Brock was a great choice to end it. He's a legitimate beast of a human being, the guy has reached the top in every sport he's ever tried that involves hurting another human being with your bare hands. If I was going to give up an undefeated streak at the age of 49 and barely able to perform anywhere near my peak ability, I'd choose to go down swinging to a former MMA world heavy weight champion, NCAA national champion, and all around BAMF like Brock Lesnar. It brings both a sense of closure and legitimacy to the accomplishment. That said, my jaw dropped when it actually happened. Then I saw the faces of the crowd. It was amazing television. And that's what pro-wrestling is: it's a primal kind of storytelling. The Wrestlers are out there to illicit emotion, and in the PG era, the stories have become safe. The end of the streak was the "Red Wedding" of wrestling events. Something unthinkable happened and the looks on the faces of the fans and the silence of 75,000 people was incredible. And Brock Lesnar gets to be one of the most hated men in the industry. I was surprised at my sadness, but I'm also excited to see what happens next. I kind of loved it. When's the last time a scripted sport made you feel that emotion.
Vicki Guerro Diva Invitational: Talk about trying to polish a turd. 14 woman battling for one pinfall is a stupid and demeaning concept in an era where there are at least 8 extremely talented women who deserve a better showcase of their talent than a stupid gimmick match after the crowd has been sucker-punched in the gut. Anything you put in this slot was doomed for failure. And yet...I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of nice moments we got in this match. It was almost as if the entire female roster was giving the finger the bookers who tried to bury them. We got triple suplexes and super kicks and bodies flying everywhere. For a useless match in a thankless spot on the card, I thought the ladies proved that you can polish a turd.
Main Event: Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton for the WWE World Heavyweight Title - I thought this was a pretty great match, the pacing and storytelling was compelling, and most of all, Batista finally appeared to be in ring shape and able to perform at a level expected for a Wrestle-mania main event performer. He was better than The Miz anyway... This match also got me interested in Randy Orton for the first time ever. I finally saw something in him that explained why he's at the top of the talent heap. I loved the kick-outs at 2 and 7/8ths. The crowd has been getting screwed out of what they want to see for so long, that it was believable that they'd get kicked one more time. This is how good wrestling should work (in my very, very humble opinion. But Stone Cold Steve Austin and Jim Ross have said similar things so I don't think I'm too far off) The audience needs to be invested in the story, they need to be afraid that their hero might fail, that evil will triumph, and I think the performers did a great job of that tonight. I bought into the reality that they sold me when Daniel Bryan was getting strapped to the gurney and rolled away from the ring. Batista has a look in his eyes that was like, "oh crap! I think I just broke that dudes neck for real! Don't break character! Just beat up the other guy over here for awhile and hope we find a way to end the show, then I can run away and get ready to promote my superhero movie." I fully suspended my disbelief and I got to be carried on a journey, and everyone got the ending they've been begging for. Daniel Bryan, the little goat-looking man who could, raising the championship belts in a downpour of confetti as 75,000 fans chanted, YES! YES! YES!
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
100 by 30 Book 52 - Super Girl, Wonder Woman, and Swamp Thing walk into a bar...
Long time between posts, I know. I just haven't felt like writing lately. I've been getting a lot of reading done though so let's get started.
Supergirl vol 2- Continues to be an exciting adventure of a stranger in a strange land. Super Girl and her world are easy to understand and the mythology is pretty easy to grasp, making the story and characters the focus of the book. It's a quality story that far surpasses her more famous nephew
7/10
Swamp Thing - Actually a pretty decent start for a creepy horror/fantasy book. Basically, this is a throwback to old school horror with a dose of environmentalism. Some of the mythology is pretty goofy and I found my self struggling to understand the rules of the world, but overall I found it compelling, mostly due to the fantastic artwork
6.5/10
Wonder Woman vol 2 - So, I took some Greek Mythology courses in school, I saw Disney's Hercules, and I've read the Justice League. That should give me enough basic understanding of super heroes and myths to follow what's happening here, but I'm totally lost. Obscure characters arrive and leave without being addressed by name. Powers and rules of the universe are never clearly defined. Pretty pictures aside, this book is a narrative mess.
3/10
Supergirl vol 2- Continues to be an exciting adventure of a stranger in a strange land. Super Girl and her world are easy to understand and the mythology is pretty easy to grasp, making the story and characters the focus of the book. It's a quality story that far surpasses her more famous nephew
7/10
Swamp Thing - Actually a pretty decent start for a creepy horror/fantasy book. Basically, this is a throwback to old school horror with a dose of environmentalism. Some of the mythology is pretty goofy and I found my self struggling to understand the rules of the world, but overall I found it compelling, mostly due to the fantastic artwork
6.5/10
Wonder Woman vol 2 - So, I took some Greek Mythology courses in school, I saw Disney's Hercules, and I've read the Justice League. That should give me enough basic understanding of super heroes and myths to follow what's happening here, but I'm totally lost. Obscure characters arrive and leave without being addressed by name. Powers and rules of the universe are never clearly defined. Pretty pictures aside, this book is a narrative mess.
3/10
Sunday, March 9, 2014
100 by 30 Book 51: Prom Dates From Hell
Prom Dates From Hell by Rosemary Clement-Moore is a delightful book about high school, friends, bullies, and ancient Babylonian Demons trying to destroy the world. Our hero is one Maggie Quinn. She isn't popular but doesn't care because she actually has friends already. She's smart, very funny, and has recently had to come to terms with the fact that she gets visions. After helping to stop a vicious bullying incident at her high school, the perpetrators slowly begin suffering unexplained catastrophes. It's up to Maggie, D&D Lisa, Baywatch Brian, and Justin the supernatural nerd to solve the case and save the day.
I thought the characters were very well fleshed out and quite relateable. Maggie reminded me of a lot of the female friends I've had over the years, and the author does a great job capturing what it's like to go through high school when you have a functioning social life but no one accuses you and your friends of being the cool kids. The book is a fun read, and I would definitely recommend it to fans of shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Speaking of which, I just finished rewatching the series and I will be moving on the season 8, which helpfully exists in graphic novel form. Talk to you then!
8.5/10
I thought the characters were very well fleshed out and quite relateable. Maggie reminded me of a lot of the female friends I've had over the years, and the author does a great job capturing what it's like to go through high school when you have a functioning social life but no one accuses you and your friends of being the cool kids. The book is a fun read, and I would definitely recommend it to fans of shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Speaking of which, I just finished rewatching the series and I will be moving on the season 8, which helpfully exists in graphic novel form. Talk to you then!
8.5/10
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
My First Wrestling Show
This past Sunday, I attended my first pro wrestling event, WWE's Elimination Chamber Pay-per view. So what is is like to see live pro wrestling? Here are a few of the things I learned.
1. WWE really is Family Friendly - I started to get back into wrestling a few months ago. One of the reasons I'd stopped watching over a decade ago was the crassness of the Attitude era. When WCW folded, there was no longer a show I could sit and watch with my dad without feeling really uncomfortable. Sex jokes and blood did not make for family entertainment. The WWE of today is decidedly a PG affair. The jokes are silly, the action is gore-free, and their is a circus-like atmosphere, which includes $9 cotton candy, and "clown" segments with backstage videos of wrestlers playing with toys or wrestlers heckling the crowd on the mic. "Bad News" Barrett is basically a one man Statler and woldorf complete with a podium that rises into the rafters.
2. The crowd matters - A live wrestling show is one of the few forms of entertainment where heckling and crowd interaction are an essential part of the experience. In real sports, if you boo Santa, ESPN will complain about that city having no class. In WWE, Chanting that the good guy sucks is half the fun. It's like the Rocky Horror Show with drop kicks and body slams.
3. The Spanish announcer's table has the life expectancy of a Red Shirt on Star Trek - Odds are, when it comes time to throw some poor guy through a table, the Spanish announce table is the first to go. This night was no exception. During the six man tag match, two 6'7", 300+ lb guys through a 6'1" 220lb guy through that table. It was awesome. Seeing a guy fall through a poorly constructed table never gets old.
3. The crowd is an interesting mix - The WWE promotes itself as scripted entertainment, and yet I still sat next to a woman who believed everything she was seeing was real. This also meant that she got rather upset when I began cheering for the bad guys. The crowd is an odd mix of kids and adults who believe in everything they see and the folks who enjoy it as the entertainment spectacle that it is, with the later making up the majority of the crowd.
4. The performers are amazing athletes - I knew that wrestlers had to be world class athletes to pull off the stunts they do without killing each other. Seeing it live, I gained an immense appreciation of the precision timing it takes to execute some of these moves. I got to see back flips all over the place, suicide dives onto the ground, and perfectly timed uppercuts, slams and kick-ass finishing moves. It was like a master class of fight choreography. It also helps when your opponent is willing to take actual blows from you. They're also Strong as hell. You can't fake suplexing one guy while he holds onto a third. It's also not easy to catch 250lbs of muscle flying at you from 9 feet in the air. These guys are absolutely professional athletes who also know how to put on a show.
5. John Cena isn't that bad - John Cena is the current top good guy in WWE. He looks like a hulked up Mark Wahlberg and is always talking about hustle, integrity, and never giving up. He's a boy scout to the point of annoyance and the crowd is constantly split between those who love him and those who hate him. (the "let's go Cena!"/"Cena Sucks!" chant is very popular) Since I haven't spent the last 10 years watching this guy, I don't have much of an opinion on his in ring skills. It wasn't until I saw a fan with cerebral palsy wearing a Never Give Up hat that I saw that Cena's value is bigger than the ring. John Cena has granted over 400 wishes for the Make-a-Wish foundation. I'm not always thrilled with him as a wrestler, but he seems to be doing his part to be a great role model, and a hero figure that people can cheer for (even if he kinda sucks)
Overall, I had an absolute blast at this show and I was surprised at how accessible WWE has become. If they come to your town, I'd say give it a shot, you might have a blast too. It's silly, it's breathtaking, and just a darn good time.
Side note: Bray Wyat may be the greatest character since The Undertaker. The guy plays a freaky redneck cult leader with two bearded behemoths as acolytes, one of whom is about 7 feet tall and wears a green jumpsuit and lamb mask. It's creepy as hell and holy cow can they put on a show. Bray's 'Sister Abigail' finishing move is one of the coolest finishers I've even seen. I can't wait to see where this guy goes.
1. WWE really is Family Friendly - I started to get back into wrestling a few months ago. One of the reasons I'd stopped watching over a decade ago was the crassness of the Attitude era. When WCW folded, there was no longer a show I could sit and watch with my dad without feeling really uncomfortable. Sex jokes and blood did not make for family entertainment. The WWE of today is decidedly a PG affair. The jokes are silly, the action is gore-free, and their is a circus-like atmosphere, which includes $9 cotton candy, and "clown" segments with backstage videos of wrestlers playing with toys or wrestlers heckling the crowd on the mic. "Bad News" Barrett is basically a one man Statler and woldorf complete with a podium that rises into the rafters.
2. The crowd matters - A live wrestling show is one of the few forms of entertainment where heckling and crowd interaction are an essential part of the experience. In real sports, if you boo Santa, ESPN will complain about that city having no class. In WWE, Chanting that the good guy sucks is half the fun. It's like the Rocky Horror Show with drop kicks and body slams.
3. The Spanish announcer's table has the life expectancy of a Red Shirt on Star Trek - Odds are, when it comes time to throw some poor guy through a table, the Spanish announce table is the first to go. This night was no exception. During the six man tag match, two 6'7", 300+ lb guys through a 6'1" 220lb guy through that table. It was awesome. Seeing a guy fall through a poorly constructed table never gets old.
3. The crowd is an interesting mix - The WWE promotes itself as scripted entertainment, and yet I still sat next to a woman who believed everything she was seeing was real. This also meant that she got rather upset when I began cheering for the bad guys. The crowd is an odd mix of kids and adults who believe in everything they see and the folks who enjoy it as the entertainment spectacle that it is, with the later making up the majority of the crowd.
4. The performers are amazing athletes - I knew that wrestlers had to be world class athletes to pull off the stunts they do without killing each other. Seeing it live, I gained an immense appreciation of the precision timing it takes to execute some of these moves. I got to see back flips all over the place, suicide dives onto the ground, and perfectly timed uppercuts, slams and kick-ass finishing moves. It was like a master class of fight choreography. It also helps when your opponent is willing to take actual blows from you. They're also Strong as hell. You can't fake suplexing one guy while he holds onto a third. It's also not easy to catch 250lbs of muscle flying at you from 9 feet in the air. These guys are absolutely professional athletes who also know how to put on a show.
5. John Cena isn't that bad - John Cena is the current top good guy in WWE. He looks like a hulked up Mark Wahlberg and is always talking about hustle, integrity, and never giving up. He's a boy scout to the point of annoyance and the crowd is constantly split between those who love him and those who hate him. (the "let's go Cena!"/"Cena Sucks!" chant is very popular) Since I haven't spent the last 10 years watching this guy, I don't have much of an opinion on his in ring skills. It wasn't until I saw a fan with cerebral palsy wearing a Never Give Up hat that I saw that Cena's value is bigger than the ring. John Cena has granted over 400 wishes for the Make-a-Wish foundation. I'm not always thrilled with him as a wrestler, but he seems to be doing his part to be a great role model, and a hero figure that people can cheer for (even if he kinda sucks)
Overall, I had an absolute blast at this show and I was surprised at how accessible WWE has become. If they come to your town, I'd say give it a shot, you might have a blast too. It's silly, it's breathtaking, and just a darn good time.
Side note: Bray Wyat may be the greatest character since The Undertaker. The guy plays a freaky redneck cult leader with two bearded behemoths as acolytes, one of whom is about 7 feet tall and wears a green jumpsuit and lamb mask. It's creepy as hell and holy cow can they put on a show. Bray's 'Sister Abigail' finishing move is one of the coolest finishers I've even seen. I can't wait to see where this guy goes.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
100 by 30 book 50 - Green Lantern, Justice League, and Supergirl
*huff* *puff* you guys, I *huff* did it. I made it halfway through my challenge. Holy crap, 100 books is a lot for someone who reads as slow as I do. Also, focusing on books makes my pop culture ADD very cranky. Sometimes a guy just wants to sit down and gorge on 30-40 hours of Buffy and Angel and then kill everything that moves on my Playstation. Then the guilt comes back and I get back down to business. Will I make my goal?! Stay tuned to find out. I have 7 months to get through 50 books. This means I have the challenge of finding engaging books that aren't 800+ pages. Or lots and lots of graphic novels. I'll try to keep mixing it up though. I have made a promise to read White Oleander at some point.... But on to today's offerings!
I will go ahead and just review all three of these together. After the last entry, I was trying to figure out if I even liked graphic novels anymore. Fortunately, these three titles proved that the comic book form still has a lot to offer. Unlike say, Justice League Dark, Green Lantern and friends demonstrate that having a few relateable and grounded characters make all the difference. Hal Jordan and Sinestro's uneasy alliance makes for great storytelling. Just beneath the Buddy-cop bickering lies the very real threat that Sinestro could turn on Hal and any point. Having a point of reference give the story license to go in all the crazy directions that it does because you remain invested in the development of the characters.
The Justice League reboot tells an origin of the team that finds a way to highlight the different strengths of all the members and make them all individuals as well. Superman is the boyscout, Green Lantern is the jock, The Flash is the teacher's pet, Cyborg is the rookie, Batman is the paranoid survivalist, Wonder Woman is the foreign exchange student, and Aquaman is that kid who you thought was quiet and weird until he gets an army of sharks to kill the crap out of everything. We don't need these guys to be deep, but we do need them to be easy to tell apart. The new Justice League title is very successful at building this team dynamic. It's a nice vision of what a Justice League movie could be if Warner Brothers Studios wasn't run by morons.
Finally, we get a fish-out-of-water adventure in the form of Supergirl. Superman's older cousin was put in stasis when Krypton blew up. She crashes on Earth not having aged a day and is understandably dubious when a full grown Kryptonian claims to be her baby cousin. All kinds of shenanigans follow and we once again see an adventure story done right.
That's it for now, see you when I muster the motivation to write again.
All three books 9/10
I will go ahead and just review all three of these together. After the last entry, I was trying to figure out if I even liked graphic novels anymore. Fortunately, these three titles proved that the comic book form still has a lot to offer. Unlike say, Justice League Dark, Green Lantern and friends demonstrate that having a few relateable and grounded characters make all the difference. Hal Jordan and Sinestro's uneasy alliance makes for great storytelling. Just beneath the Buddy-cop bickering lies the very real threat that Sinestro could turn on Hal and any point. Having a point of reference give the story license to go in all the crazy directions that it does because you remain invested in the development of the characters.
The Justice League reboot tells an origin of the team that finds a way to highlight the different strengths of all the members and make them all individuals as well. Superman is the boyscout, Green Lantern is the jock, The Flash is the teacher's pet, Cyborg is the rookie, Batman is the paranoid survivalist, Wonder Woman is the foreign exchange student, and Aquaman is that kid who you thought was quiet and weird until he gets an army of sharks to kill the crap out of everything. We don't need these guys to be deep, but we do need them to be easy to tell apart. The new Justice League title is very successful at building this team dynamic. It's a nice vision of what a Justice League movie could be if Warner Brothers Studios wasn't run by morons.
Finally, we get a fish-out-of-water adventure in the form of Supergirl. Superman's older cousin was put in stasis when Krypton blew up. She crashes on Earth not having aged a day and is understandably dubious when a full grown Kryptonian claims to be her baby cousin. All kinds of shenanigans follow and we once again see an adventure story done right.
That's it for now, see you when I muster the motivation to write again.
All three books 9/10
Sunday, February 9, 2014
100 by 30 book 49 - Justice League Dark & Dail "H" for Hero
Today we take a short and disappointing tour of the weirder edges of the DC Universe.
DIAL 'H' FOR HERO- This book has such an inventive premise that I expected great things. The book follows a big fat loser who discovers that every time he dials the word H-E-R-O into the payphone in the alley, he is transformed into a different, bizarre super hero. The different heroes are delightfully silly. I especially loved the Iron Snail and Cock-a-Hoop (which is a chicken with a hula hoop for a body) Unfortunately, the fun ends with the premise. I forgot the plot almost as soon as I finished and the characters leave no lasting impression. It's a shame for a hero that should be a gold mine for humorous situations to be so dull.
5/10
Justice League Dark, vol. 1 & 2 - Hey what if all of the magic/supernatural- based characters in the DC universe got together to fight evil? Wouldn't that be super dark and kick-ass? It should be. But it isn't. This is the Hugh Jackman's Van Helsing of Comic books. We have another great premise that fails to live up to even the lowest expectations. Characters join and leave the group with barely an introduction, and the ones that do stick around don't make much of an impression on you. The main character ends up being John Constantine. (Keanu Reeves played him in the movie, even though he can't speak in a British dialect and James Marsters was available and would have been perfect.) John is a British warlock/antihero. He's the closest thing to interesting here and I'm willing to bet that his solo stories are actually engaging. The interchangeable cast is a big problem though. With people dropping in and out all the time, it feels like the writers are actively struggling to find something interesting to do with a bunch of weirdo misfits. It's a shame no one has ever created any cool plots with a team like that, except for Buffy, Angel, X-Men, Avengers, Firefly and the countless others that I missed. I've never been so bored reading fantasy fiction in my life. So you can skip these.
3/10
DIAL 'H' FOR HERO- This book has such an inventive premise that I expected great things. The book follows a big fat loser who discovers that every time he dials the word H-E-R-O into the payphone in the alley, he is transformed into a different, bizarre super hero. The different heroes are delightfully silly. I especially loved the Iron Snail and Cock-a-Hoop (which is a chicken with a hula hoop for a body) Unfortunately, the fun ends with the premise. I forgot the plot almost as soon as I finished and the characters leave no lasting impression. It's a shame for a hero that should be a gold mine for humorous situations to be so dull.
5/10
Justice League Dark, vol. 1 & 2 - Hey what if all of the magic/supernatural- based characters in the DC universe got together to fight evil? Wouldn't that be super dark and kick-ass? It should be. But it isn't. This is the Hugh Jackman's Van Helsing of Comic books. We have another great premise that fails to live up to even the lowest expectations. Characters join and leave the group with barely an introduction, and the ones that do stick around don't make much of an impression on you. The main character ends up being John Constantine. (Keanu Reeves played him in the movie, even though he can't speak in a British dialect and James Marsters was available and would have been perfect.) John is a British warlock/antihero. He's the closest thing to interesting here and I'm willing to bet that his solo stories are actually engaging. The interchangeable cast is a big problem though. With people dropping in and out all the time, it feels like the writers are actively struggling to find something interesting to do with a bunch of weirdo misfits. It's a shame no one has ever created any cool plots with a team like that, except for Buffy, Angel, X-Men, Avengers, Firefly and the countless others that I missed. I've never been so bored reading fantasy fiction in my life. So you can skip these.
3/10
Sunday, February 2, 2014
100 by 30 Book 48 - Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell
So the Superbowl is super lame this year, so why not read my blog instead. That should kill a few minutes. Speaking of killing, I recently read Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell (AKA Violet from The Incredibles). The book follows Vowell as she drags various friends and family members to an assortment of historical sites related to the assassinations of Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley. The book is divided into 3 sections, one for each president, and covers a lot of obscure factoids that I never knew. In one of my favorite moments, Sarah, in her own dry way, leads us on an evaluation of the laugh line in the play that Lincoln was watching when he got shot. Yep, turns out Boothe waited for a laugh line so the audience would cover the sound of the gun. On one hand, that's really messed up. On the other hand, as Vowell points out, Lincoln got to die with a smile on his face. On the other other hand, the joke is terrible and doesn't translate to modern times.
This is just one of the many helpful things you will learn on this delightfully wry and rambling tour of some of the darkest moments of our nations history. If you are only going to read one book about presidential assassinations while relaxing on the beach in Mexico, make it this one.
9/10
This is just one of the many helpful things you will learn on this delightfully wry and rambling tour of some of the darkest moments of our nations history. If you are only going to read one book about presidential assassinations while relaxing on the beach in Mexico, make it this one.
9/10
Saturday, January 25, 2014
2013 Mixtape
I know it's a few weeks late, but I always like to give myself a little time to let the previous 12 months of music sink in before I create my playlist of my favorite songs of the year. Basic rules are these:
1. playlist can be no longer than 80 min so it can fit on a single cd
2. No repeating artists on the same mixtape (except in the case of guest artists or extremely awesome albums)
3. These are songs that I love and still enjoy at the end of the year. Therefore overplayed songs get bumped from the list. Sorry Avicii.
4. Don't be afraid of guilty pleasure songs (you'll see what I mean below)
5. Songs must be from the year in Question. No holdovers from the precious year allowed.
So here it is, The official 2013 mixtape according to The Scattered Approach
1. Lady You Shot Me - HarMar Superstar
The coolest thing to ever be associated with the HarMar Mall
2. Strictly Reserved for You (feat. Menahan Street Band) - Charles Bradley
Somebody introduce this guy to Sharon Jones stat so they can make a duet album and I can die happy.
3. Dance Apocalyptic - Janelle Monae
Best R&B/Soul Artist under the age of 40
4. Royals - Lorde
Yes it's overplayed. No, I'm not sick of it yet.
5. Cut My Hair - Luca Vasta
Thank you Amazon for highlighting this song
6. It Is The Way You Name Your Ship - Gogol Bordello
This song makes me want to drink whiskey, sing, and fight at the same time....
7. Rollin' Over - Skinny Lister
...While this song make me want to drink beer, sing, and dance in a circle at the same time.
8. Follow Your Arrow - Kacey Musgraves
I heard it was a good year for female country artists.
9. You Ain't Dolly (And You Ain't Porter) - Ashley Monroe
Why yes, yes it was.
10. Timber - Pitbull feat. Ke$ha
What can I say, I'm a sucker for a sick Harmonica riff. Anyone who's been around me when Outkast's "Rosa Parks" comes on can attest to that.
11. Acapella - Karmin
I also love pop music that is tongue in cheek.
12. Wild - Jessie J feat. Big Sean
How is Jessie J not the biggest pop star in the world?! She's got one of the best pop voices I've ever heard.
13. Remix (I Like The) - New Kids on the Block
Yeah, I do love a NKOTB song. So What? It makes me wanna dance like the girl in the video.
14. Harlem - New Politics
Kudos to my wife for introducing me to this awesome indie rock anthem. I defy you not to jump around to this song.
15. Pumping Blood - NONONO
Another great track my wife found. Either she's upped her game or I'm slipping. Probably both.
16. Holy Roller - Thao & The Get Down Stay Down
It's songs like this that make me grateful for NPR's free SXSW samplers.
17. Open - Rhye
Nope, that's not Sade. It's a dude singing this song. Which somehow makes it even more awesome.
18. Dark Horse - Katy Perry feat. Juicy J
This is by far the best song on her new album, and much better for dancing than "ROAR"
19. Rhyme or Reason - Eminem
You either love or hate Eminem at this point. Personally, I thought this was his most exciting album yet, and this is one of several stand out tracks on a stellar album. This song gets my vote simply for the shout out to Yoda over a Zombies sample.
20. New - Paul McCartney
With each new release, I realize I was very wrong about Sir Paul. The man is a genius and living legend. And this song makes me happy. Like, Muppets levels of joy.
21. Plastic Cup - Low
Low gets the nod for honorary haunting bummer of a song, unseating both The National and Arcade Fire to win this spot.
22. I Hope You're the End of My Story - Pistol Annies
I always get sentimental at the end of these lists, and thankfully Pistol Annies provided me with this gorgeous love song to end the 2013 mix
So That's the list. Let me know what gems I missed this year.
1. playlist can be no longer than 80 min so it can fit on a single cd
2. No repeating artists on the same mixtape (except in the case of guest artists or extremely awesome albums)
3. These are songs that I love and still enjoy at the end of the year. Therefore overplayed songs get bumped from the list. Sorry Avicii.
4. Don't be afraid of guilty pleasure songs (you'll see what I mean below)
5. Songs must be from the year in Question. No holdovers from the precious year allowed.
So here it is, The official 2013 mixtape according to The Scattered Approach
1. Lady You Shot Me - HarMar Superstar
The coolest thing to ever be associated with the HarMar Mall
2. Strictly Reserved for You (feat. Menahan Street Band) - Charles Bradley
Somebody introduce this guy to Sharon Jones stat so they can make a duet album and I can die happy.
3. Dance Apocalyptic - Janelle Monae
Best R&B/Soul Artist under the age of 40
4. Royals - Lorde
Yes it's overplayed. No, I'm not sick of it yet.
5. Cut My Hair - Luca Vasta
Thank you Amazon for highlighting this song
6. It Is The Way You Name Your Ship - Gogol Bordello
This song makes me want to drink whiskey, sing, and fight at the same time....
7. Rollin' Over - Skinny Lister
...While this song make me want to drink beer, sing, and dance in a circle at the same time.
8. Follow Your Arrow - Kacey Musgraves
I heard it was a good year for female country artists.
9. You Ain't Dolly (And You Ain't Porter) - Ashley Monroe
Why yes, yes it was.
10. Timber - Pitbull feat. Ke$ha
What can I say, I'm a sucker for a sick Harmonica riff. Anyone who's been around me when Outkast's "Rosa Parks" comes on can attest to that.
11. Acapella - Karmin
I also love pop music that is tongue in cheek.
12. Wild - Jessie J feat. Big Sean
How is Jessie J not the biggest pop star in the world?! She's got one of the best pop voices I've ever heard.
13. Remix (I Like The) - New Kids on the Block
Yeah, I do love a NKOTB song. So What? It makes me wanna dance like the girl in the video.
14. Harlem - New Politics
Kudos to my wife for introducing me to this awesome indie rock anthem. I defy you not to jump around to this song.
15. Pumping Blood - NONONO
Another great track my wife found. Either she's upped her game or I'm slipping. Probably both.
16. Holy Roller - Thao & The Get Down Stay Down
It's songs like this that make me grateful for NPR's free SXSW samplers.
17. Open - Rhye
Nope, that's not Sade. It's a dude singing this song. Which somehow makes it even more awesome.
18. Dark Horse - Katy Perry feat. Juicy J
This is by far the best song on her new album, and much better for dancing than "ROAR"
19. Rhyme or Reason - Eminem
You either love or hate Eminem at this point. Personally, I thought this was his most exciting album yet, and this is one of several stand out tracks on a stellar album. This song gets my vote simply for the shout out to Yoda over a Zombies sample.
20. New - Paul McCartney
With each new release, I realize I was very wrong about Sir Paul. The man is a genius and living legend. And this song makes me happy. Like, Muppets levels of joy.
21. Plastic Cup - Low
Low gets the nod for honorary haunting bummer of a song, unseating both The National and Arcade Fire to win this spot.
22. I Hope You're the End of My Story - Pistol Annies
I always get sentimental at the end of these lists, and thankfully Pistol Annies provided me with this gorgeous love song to end the 2013 mix
So That's the list. Let me know what gems I missed this year.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
100 by 30 Book 47 - Allegiant
MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR ENTIRE DIVERGENT TRILOGY BELOW!!!!
Well, That's one way to end a trilogy. The third and final installment is by far the weakest and basically undoes everything I loved about the first two. The books faults lie largely in execution and not in the plot details itself. I got a lot to say, so let's get started.
1. Page 1 of Allegiant essentially spoils the plot of the book if you have half a brain. The book starts by doing something that didn't happen in the first two books: the narration is divided between our two main characters. Given that the first two books showed an impressive lust for killing off major characters, separating the narrative basically shouts to the reader, "HEY! HEY YOU! THE MAIN CHARACTER IS GOING TO DIE!" Yes, it's true. Tris dies toward the end of this book. Don't worry, it's not sad, just dumb. I'll come back to this in a minute.
2. The division of the narrative hurts the plot and exposes Veronica Roth as a mediocre author. After following Tris' story for the first two books, suddenly having to follow two first person narratives becomes very jarring. This issue is compounded by the fact that the writing style does not vary between Tris and Four. There were a number of times where I had to return to the start of the chapter just to figure out whose story I was following. Because the two characters could not be separated, I suddenly lost my interest in Tris as a character. She lost all uniqueness and I no longer cared about her motives. Likewise for Four. It's very difficult to suddenly get inside the head of a character we've been viewing from the outside for the first 800 pages of the saga, especially when we find out that the inside life of said character is identical to the outside life we've been seeing. Seriously, the guy turns out to be saying everything he thinks at all times. So now we've wasted half the book with a pointless narrative that does nothing to further the plot in a meaningful way. We split the narrative and learn nothing new.
3. The story covers too much plot in too little time - The world of the first 2 books is a self-contained distopia. The revelation at the end of book 2 that the city is just an experiment run by the outside world explodes the universe that the story is built around. While the expansion is exciting and give the book plenty of places to go, Veronica Roth's book tries to expand too fast. The enlargement of the world would sustain several more books in the series. Instead, we get a very rushed introduction to this new world and all the political forces and characters in it. David, the new main antagonist, is introduced mainly has a former love interest for Tris' mother. We simply don't get enough of his motives or back story to keep the narrative engaging.
We are also introduced to all new cultural dynamics that we are expected to have a stake in, but we don't really get a proper examination of the difference between the genetically damaged and genetically pure people, nor do we get a sense of the motives behind hiding human history. The themes become very muddled because non of the characters or themes are fleshed out enough to give the impression of a real world.
4. The story exacerbates issues with the first two books - The speedy pacing of the first two books worked well because we were following one character's chaotic journey through a world falling apart. The worm's eye view gave an impression of greater things beyond Tris' understanding. In Allegiant, the split narrative shows us that, no, nothing is really happening behind the scenes. The books never get at anything below the surface of the events. Suddenly, the pacing of the first two books feels sloppy and rushed as well.
5. Tris' sacrifice has no impact - Tris has a very complicated relationship with her brother. In the end, she sacrifices her life to save him, but we never get a satisfying explanation for his actions. Bad or good, we never really understand why he did what he did. Because the relationship isn't well defined, her choice to sacrifice herself is muddled and loses impact.
The way she dies also raises more questions than it answers. First, she is the first person to survive the death serum, which begs the question, "why is she so powerful." This is essentially a supernatural act by all the rules established in the series. Instead of some sort of explanation for this amazing feat, she is promptly shot to death right afterwards, denying the audience any reasoning for the feat. It would be like Neo surviving the gunshot at the end of the Matrix only to have his head chopped off 30 seconds later. It's ineffectual storytelling.
I don't think this book was completely useless, but it did feel like the first draft of a better story. It think the death of Tris could have been much more effective if Veronica Roth had saved the splitting of the narrative until after her death. Also, recognize when you have enough material for an long running series and don't cram a bunch of half-assed garbage into the third book just so you can stick with the trilogy format. Probably don't read this book though. Enjoy the first two and pretend the third book was never finished.
3/10
Well, That's one way to end a trilogy. The third and final installment is by far the weakest and basically undoes everything I loved about the first two. The books faults lie largely in execution and not in the plot details itself. I got a lot to say, so let's get started.
1. Page 1 of Allegiant essentially spoils the plot of the book if you have half a brain. The book starts by doing something that didn't happen in the first two books: the narration is divided between our two main characters. Given that the first two books showed an impressive lust for killing off major characters, separating the narrative basically shouts to the reader, "HEY! HEY YOU! THE MAIN CHARACTER IS GOING TO DIE!" Yes, it's true. Tris dies toward the end of this book. Don't worry, it's not sad, just dumb. I'll come back to this in a minute.
2. The division of the narrative hurts the plot and exposes Veronica Roth as a mediocre author. After following Tris' story for the first two books, suddenly having to follow two first person narratives becomes very jarring. This issue is compounded by the fact that the writing style does not vary between Tris and Four. There were a number of times where I had to return to the start of the chapter just to figure out whose story I was following. Because the two characters could not be separated, I suddenly lost my interest in Tris as a character. She lost all uniqueness and I no longer cared about her motives. Likewise for Four. It's very difficult to suddenly get inside the head of a character we've been viewing from the outside for the first 800 pages of the saga, especially when we find out that the inside life of said character is identical to the outside life we've been seeing. Seriously, the guy turns out to be saying everything he thinks at all times. So now we've wasted half the book with a pointless narrative that does nothing to further the plot in a meaningful way. We split the narrative and learn nothing new.
3. The story covers too much plot in too little time - The world of the first 2 books is a self-contained distopia. The revelation at the end of book 2 that the city is just an experiment run by the outside world explodes the universe that the story is built around. While the expansion is exciting and give the book plenty of places to go, Veronica Roth's book tries to expand too fast. The enlargement of the world would sustain several more books in the series. Instead, we get a very rushed introduction to this new world and all the political forces and characters in it. David, the new main antagonist, is introduced mainly has a former love interest for Tris' mother. We simply don't get enough of his motives or back story to keep the narrative engaging.
We are also introduced to all new cultural dynamics that we are expected to have a stake in, but we don't really get a proper examination of the difference between the genetically damaged and genetically pure people, nor do we get a sense of the motives behind hiding human history. The themes become very muddled because non of the characters or themes are fleshed out enough to give the impression of a real world.
4. The story exacerbates issues with the first two books - The speedy pacing of the first two books worked well because we were following one character's chaotic journey through a world falling apart. The worm's eye view gave an impression of greater things beyond Tris' understanding. In Allegiant, the split narrative shows us that, no, nothing is really happening behind the scenes. The books never get at anything below the surface of the events. Suddenly, the pacing of the first two books feels sloppy and rushed as well.
5. Tris' sacrifice has no impact - Tris has a very complicated relationship with her brother. In the end, she sacrifices her life to save him, but we never get a satisfying explanation for his actions. Bad or good, we never really understand why he did what he did. Because the relationship isn't well defined, her choice to sacrifice herself is muddled and loses impact.
The way she dies also raises more questions than it answers. First, she is the first person to survive the death serum, which begs the question, "why is she so powerful." This is essentially a supernatural act by all the rules established in the series. Instead of some sort of explanation for this amazing feat, she is promptly shot to death right afterwards, denying the audience any reasoning for the feat. It would be like Neo surviving the gunshot at the end of the Matrix only to have his head chopped off 30 seconds later. It's ineffectual storytelling.
I don't think this book was completely useless, but it did feel like the first draft of a better story. It think the death of Tris could have been much more effective if Veronica Roth had saved the splitting of the narrative until after her death. Also, recognize when you have enough material for an long running series and don't cram a bunch of half-assed garbage into the third book just so you can stick with the trilogy format. Probably don't read this book though. Enjoy the first two and pretend the third book was never finished.
3/10
Thursday, January 2, 2014
100 by 30 Book 46 - Insurgent by Veronica Roth
Honestly, I finished this book in 2 days. Unfortunately, I read it so fast the whole thing is a bit of a blur. I remember I liked it though. MASSIVE BOOK 1 SPOILERS TO FOLLOW:
You've been warned.
OK, Here we go. Book 2 kicks off right after the genocide of Tris' former faction including the murder of both her parents. She's also pretty upset that she shot one of her best friends in the face while he was brainwashed. (told you there'd be spoilers)
For most of the book, Tris is suffering from some pretty severe PTSD. She becomes borderline suicidal as she attempts to stop the Erudite from either killing everyone or controlling them with mind altering injections. We also learn that the divergent population is being specifically targeted because of their resistance to these injections. I really liked the way the author showed the psychological toll the events are taking on Tris. The book spends a lot of time dealing with survivor's guilt and assorted trauma and it is really well done. It takes a pretty harrowing sequence of events to get her to stop trying to get herself killed.
That doesn't stop a whole crap ton of other people from dying though. I feel like author Veronica Roth is trying to set a record for the number of dead significant characters in a book series. We're into the dozens already and it's only been two books. Red Shirts have a better survival rate. With the breathtaking pace and the high mortality rate, it is sometimes hard to stop and consider the ideas being presented, many of which are worth pondering. The entertainment level is so high though that rereading is highly likely, so I'll think about the big ideas then.
Oh, and the book ends on a massive cliff hanger. I kind of saw something like that coming, but it was pretty great anyway.
9/10
You've been warned.
OK, Here we go. Book 2 kicks off right after the genocide of Tris' former faction including the murder of both her parents. She's also pretty upset that she shot one of her best friends in the face while he was brainwashed. (told you there'd be spoilers)
For most of the book, Tris is suffering from some pretty severe PTSD. She becomes borderline suicidal as she attempts to stop the Erudite from either killing everyone or controlling them with mind altering injections. We also learn that the divergent population is being specifically targeted because of their resistance to these injections. I really liked the way the author showed the psychological toll the events are taking on Tris. The book spends a lot of time dealing with survivor's guilt and assorted trauma and it is really well done. It takes a pretty harrowing sequence of events to get her to stop trying to get herself killed.
That doesn't stop a whole crap ton of other people from dying though. I feel like author Veronica Roth is trying to set a record for the number of dead significant characters in a book series. We're into the dozens already and it's only been two books. Red Shirts have a better survival rate. With the breathtaking pace and the high mortality rate, it is sometimes hard to stop and consider the ideas being presented, many of which are worth pondering. The entertainment level is so high though that rereading is highly likely, so I'll think about the big ideas then.
Oh, and the book ends on a massive cliff hanger. I kind of saw something like that coming, but it was pretty great anyway.
9/10
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
100 by 30 book 45 - Divergent by Veronica Roth
/I'm on a Roll. I know It doesn't seem like it because I took two weeks off between blogs posts, but I've actually been going through books so fast that I didn't want to stop and write about them. Up Next, in rapid succession, the Divergent Trilogy. Let's get Started.
Divergent is the first book in a dystopian young adult sci-fi trilogy. It reminds me of a cross between harry potter and the hunger games, but with more shocking violence.
Beatrice Prior lives in the remains of Chicago several hundred years in the future. In an effort to create a peaceful society, people are sorted into one of 5 factions with differing emotional traits. To save you from having to look up the $10 words author Veronica Roth uses, here are the factions: selfless, peaceful, honest, brave, & Intelligent. There is also the factionless, which is a group of homeless people who can't conform.
Beatrice has been raised to be a member of the selfless faction but during her attribute test, she discovers that she is "divergent", meaning that she is fit for multiple factions. Turns out that's bad. Like, the type of thing that can get you executed bad. So she decides to switch factions and join the brave faction where it will be easier to hide. What follows is a pretty horrific initiation process that results in some of the most brutal moments I've read in teen fiction, which include characters being driven to suicide, sneak attack eye stabbings, and a late night sexual assault. Don't worry though, there is a cute guy to lighten the mood. Oh wait, he's pretty messed up too. Ok, he's not that bad, and I do appreciate that we don't have to deal with a love triangle.
The pacing of this book is lightning fast and we go from 0-100 mph faster than any series I've read. The book ends with a series of events normally reserved for the third book in a series. This is Red Wedding type stuff. It's brutal and captivating, and you need to read this book.
9/10
Divergent is the first book in a dystopian young adult sci-fi trilogy. It reminds me of a cross between harry potter and the hunger games, but with more shocking violence.
Beatrice Prior lives in the remains of Chicago several hundred years in the future. In an effort to create a peaceful society, people are sorted into one of 5 factions with differing emotional traits. To save you from having to look up the $10 words author Veronica Roth uses, here are the factions: selfless, peaceful, honest, brave, & Intelligent. There is also the factionless, which is a group of homeless people who can't conform.
Beatrice has been raised to be a member of the selfless faction but during her attribute test, she discovers that she is "divergent", meaning that she is fit for multiple factions. Turns out that's bad. Like, the type of thing that can get you executed bad. So she decides to switch factions and join the brave faction where it will be easier to hide. What follows is a pretty horrific initiation process that results in some of the most brutal moments I've read in teen fiction, which include characters being driven to suicide, sneak attack eye stabbings, and a late night sexual assault. Don't worry though, there is a cute guy to lighten the mood. Oh wait, he's pretty messed up too. Ok, he's not that bad, and I do appreciate that we don't have to deal with a love triangle.
The pacing of this book is lightning fast and we go from 0-100 mph faster than any series I've read. The book ends with a series of events normally reserved for the third book in a series. This is Red Wedding type stuff. It's brutal and captivating, and you need to read this book.
9/10
Friday, December 20, 2013
Um, Sweetie, are you watching Wrestling?
A few weeks ago I was sitting home with a case of bronchitis and an allergy attack. My brain felt like it was being squished and I couldn't breathe so hot either. Basically, I needed to just lay on the couch and zone out for few days. It's the kind of sick where you can't really sleep, but your brain can't focus on much either. What is a guy to do to pass the time??? Well, I had just listened to an episode of the Dork Forest podcast (it's awesome, you should check it out) where the dorkdom of the day was professional wrestling. Listening to a pair of 40-something dudes talk about their love of Pro-wrestling brought back the memories of watching WCW with my dad back in grade school. So I thought to myself, "what the hell?" and I began watching old Royal Rumble matches on YouTube while I waiting for my brain to start working again.....
20+ Royal Rumbles later, and now I find myself inexplicably fascinated with the product. When I was a young boy, I knew wrestling was "fake" and that was part of the fun. We'd put each other in the "submission" holds and laugh at how ineffective they were. Since the word fake was applied, I could enjoy it as pure fantasy. Fast forward 15 or so years and I find myself with a new appreciation for what these athletes put themselves through. Yes, pro-wrestling is entertainment, not sport, but it takes world-class athletes to make it work. When you look at the shear number of former wrestlers who died prematurely or have to live with crippling health issues, you realize that this isn't as "fake" as people would like you to believe.
Perhaps the saddest story involves one of my favorite wrestlers when I was young. Chris Benoit was one of the most exhilarating performers I've ever seen. He was 2 tons of ferocity in a 170lb body. Then, one day he murdered he wife and child. He sat around the house for a day or so before hanging himself. When they did the autopsy, they discovered that Benoit had the brain degeneration normally reserved for people in their late 80s. He suffered the same kind of repeated concussions that have become a scourge to the NFL. Netfix also has a nice selection of career retrospectives of former wrestling legends. The common theme through most of them is the severe amount of physical harm these performers endure. What you also see though, is a sense that these performers seem to feel that the sacrifice is worth it to put on shows that thrill audiences.
So what about the shows, you ask? How can I be drawn to something so barbaric and silly? Well, I'm not totally sure. I do know that the few people I know of who also like wrestling are thoughtful, highly intelligent people, and not the stereotypical rednecks and jocks the program is commonly associated with. Wrestling seems to be a fascinating mix of some of my favorite forms of entertainment. You have theatrical characters and set pieces, storylines that would fit at home in your standard action movie, death defying stunts, and this weird mix of truth and misdirection. The best wrestling is a master class in improvisation as the wrestlers weave enough truth into their storylines so that you aren't always sure when or how you are being lied to. Indeed, the most exciting performers are simply playing larger than life versions of themselves. Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Mick Foley, CM Punk and others are all revealing sides of themselves to create their characters and giving them a sense of authenticity that draws you to them. I also like the way that Wrestling airs some of it's real dirty laundry and weaves it into the main storyline. CM Punk is famous for a promo he did in 2011 where he basically broke the 4th wall and said a lot of things that fans were feeling. It was by all appearances, a "shoot"(when the performer goes off script) and it is still electrifying to watch. While honesty on the mic is good, the in-ring product is at it's best when the opponents have great chemistry and trust. A truly great match involves performers working together to tell a story, and you can't do that if you don't trust your partner. For those of you who are actors, you know the difference between having a scene with a generous performer who connects with you and one who barely notices that your are there.
I love the way Pro wrestling can create sport as we wish it could be. One of the first Pay-per view events after the death of Eddie Guerrero was the 2006 Royal Rumble. As a sign of respect, one of his best friends, Rey Mysterio entered the 30 man elimination match to Eddie's old entrance music in a low rider. He said before hand that he was dedicating his performance to the memory of his friend. Rey went 60 minutes in the ring and won the event. Knowing it was all per-determined didn't stop me from throwing my fists in the air and cheering when he won. It was like a live version of Rudy and showcased the best that wrestling has to offer.
I also enjoy the way that some injuries are handled. Steve Austin suffered a severe neck injury during a botched piledriver in a match with Owen Hart. He continued to perform with the injury until surgery became essential. Rather than simply letting the biggest name in the game leave quietly for a year, they worked his absence into a storyline and had him get run over by a car while leaving the arena. As a Packer fan, I can say that that plot development is much more satisfying than say, watching your star quarterback go down in the first drive of a game and then the team craps all over the field for the next 5 weeks before learning to play football again. I'm sure Colts Fans can relate after enduring the "Suck for Luck" season. Wouldn't it have been more fun to have Jim Irsay run Peyton Manning down with is limo as a way to avoid signing him to a new contract?
Lastly, I appreciate the way the nature of Pro-wrestling allows legends to come back for one more moment in the sun. The best examples of this are in the Royal Rumble matches. The match starts with two wrestlers with a new wrestler being added every 90 seconds. Wrestlers are eliminated by being thrown over the top rope and both feet touching the floor. The last man standing after all 30 wrestlers enter wins. With so much happening, it's a great time for an old favorite to come out and hear the roar of the crowd, throw a few punches and get eliminated before breaking a hip. Seeing guys like "Hacksaw" Jim Dugan or Jake "the Snake" Roberts come out for a few more minutes of glory is kind of awesome. It's almost like bringing Joe Montana back for a series just to see him throw one more touchdown. In the back of my mind, I know that Jake Roberts is going to have to go right back to the trailer he lives in by my wife's grandma once the show is done, but I'm also happy that he gets a reminder that he hasn't been completely forgotten. You can say what you want about the Rock vs. Hulk Hogan at wrestle mania, but I like getting to see the guys who didn't get that big get one more standing ovation. And a paycheck. I saw The Wrestler. I know they need the paycheck too.
Thanks for bearing with me through this whole post. As a thank-you, here are a couple of my personal favorite moments to look up on You tube/netflix.
Honorable mention: 2000 Royal Rumble, Rikishi shows everybody that big men can dance. It's very silly.
Best match if you like your wrestling PG: 2006 Royal Rumble with Rey Mysterio
Best Match if you like your wrestling Extreme: Mankind Vs. Undertaker Hell in the Cell Match. Mankind survives one of the most horrifying stunts I've ever seen, and then finishes the match with his tooth sticking out of his nose. Yes, you read that right. It's as amazing and thrilling as it is gut-wrenching. Also, my dog is scared of the Undertaker's entrance music.
There are many many more matches that I'm sure my more knowledgeable friends could point you to, but these are the ones that made me need to see more. Now if I could just find a free ticket to the upcoming Elimination Chamber at the Target Center...
20+ Royal Rumbles later, and now I find myself inexplicably fascinated with the product. When I was a young boy, I knew wrestling was "fake" and that was part of the fun. We'd put each other in the "submission" holds and laugh at how ineffective they were. Since the word fake was applied, I could enjoy it as pure fantasy. Fast forward 15 or so years and I find myself with a new appreciation for what these athletes put themselves through. Yes, pro-wrestling is entertainment, not sport, but it takes world-class athletes to make it work. When you look at the shear number of former wrestlers who died prematurely or have to live with crippling health issues, you realize that this isn't as "fake" as people would like you to believe.
Perhaps the saddest story involves one of my favorite wrestlers when I was young. Chris Benoit was one of the most exhilarating performers I've ever seen. He was 2 tons of ferocity in a 170lb body. Then, one day he murdered he wife and child. He sat around the house for a day or so before hanging himself. When they did the autopsy, they discovered that Benoit had the brain degeneration normally reserved for people in their late 80s. He suffered the same kind of repeated concussions that have become a scourge to the NFL. Netfix also has a nice selection of career retrospectives of former wrestling legends. The common theme through most of them is the severe amount of physical harm these performers endure. What you also see though, is a sense that these performers seem to feel that the sacrifice is worth it to put on shows that thrill audiences.
So what about the shows, you ask? How can I be drawn to something so barbaric and silly? Well, I'm not totally sure. I do know that the few people I know of who also like wrestling are thoughtful, highly intelligent people, and not the stereotypical rednecks and jocks the program is commonly associated with. Wrestling seems to be a fascinating mix of some of my favorite forms of entertainment. You have theatrical characters and set pieces, storylines that would fit at home in your standard action movie, death defying stunts, and this weird mix of truth and misdirection. The best wrestling is a master class in improvisation as the wrestlers weave enough truth into their storylines so that you aren't always sure when or how you are being lied to. Indeed, the most exciting performers are simply playing larger than life versions of themselves. Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Mick Foley, CM Punk and others are all revealing sides of themselves to create their characters and giving them a sense of authenticity that draws you to them. I also like the way that Wrestling airs some of it's real dirty laundry and weaves it into the main storyline. CM Punk is famous for a promo he did in 2011 where he basically broke the 4th wall and said a lot of things that fans were feeling. It was by all appearances, a "shoot"(when the performer goes off script) and it is still electrifying to watch. While honesty on the mic is good, the in-ring product is at it's best when the opponents have great chemistry and trust. A truly great match involves performers working together to tell a story, and you can't do that if you don't trust your partner. For those of you who are actors, you know the difference between having a scene with a generous performer who connects with you and one who barely notices that your are there.
I love the way Pro wrestling can create sport as we wish it could be. One of the first Pay-per view events after the death of Eddie Guerrero was the 2006 Royal Rumble. As a sign of respect, one of his best friends, Rey Mysterio entered the 30 man elimination match to Eddie's old entrance music in a low rider. He said before hand that he was dedicating his performance to the memory of his friend. Rey went 60 minutes in the ring and won the event. Knowing it was all per-determined didn't stop me from throwing my fists in the air and cheering when he won. It was like a live version of Rudy and showcased the best that wrestling has to offer.
I also enjoy the way that some injuries are handled. Steve Austin suffered a severe neck injury during a botched piledriver in a match with Owen Hart. He continued to perform with the injury until surgery became essential. Rather than simply letting the biggest name in the game leave quietly for a year, they worked his absence into a storyline and had him get run over by a car while leaving the arena. As a Packer fan, I can say that that plot development is much more satisfying than say, watching your star quarterback go down in the first drive of a game and then the team craps all over the field for the next 5 weeks before learning to play football again. I'm sure Colts Fans can relate after enduring the "Suck for Luck" season. Wouldn't it have been more fun to have Jim Irsay run Peyton Manning down with is limo as a way to avoid signing him to a new contract?
Lastly, I appreciate the way the nature of Pro-wrestling allows legends to come back for one more moment in the sun. The best examples of this are in the Royal Rumble matches. The match starts with two wrestlers with a new wrestler being added every 90 seconds. Wrestlers are eliminated by being thrown over the top rope and both feet touching the floor. The last man standing after all 30 wrestlers enter wins. With so much happening, it's a great time for an old favorite to come out and hear the roar of the crowd, throw a few punches and get eliminated before breaking a hip. Seeing guys like "Hacksaw" Jim Dugan or Jake "the Snake" Roberts come out for a few more minutes of glory is kind of awesome. It's almost like bringing Joe Montana back for a series just to see him throw one more touchdown. In the back of my mind, I know that Jake Roberts is going to have to go right back to the trailer he lives in by my wife's grandma once the show is done, but I'm also happy that he gets a reminder that he hasn't been completely forgotten. You can say what you want about the Rock vs. Hulk Hogan at wrestle mania, but I like getting to see the guys who didn't get that big get one more standing ovation. And a paycheck. I saw The Wrestler. I know they need the paycheck too.
Thanks for bearing with me through this whole post. As a thank-you, here are a couple of my personal favorite moments to look up on You tube/netflix.
Honorable mention: 2000 Royal Rumble, Rikishi shows everybody that big men can dance. It's very silly.
Best match if you like your wrestling PG: 2006 Royal Rumble with Rey Mysterio
Best Match if you like your wrestling Extreme: Mankind Vs. Undertaker Hell in the Cell Match. Mankind survives one of the most horrifying stunts I've ever seen, and then finishes the match with his tooth sticking out of his nose. Yes, you read that right. It's as amazing and thrilling as it is gut-wrenching. Also, my dog is scared of the Undertaker's entrance music.
There are many many more matches that I'm sure my more knowledgeable friends could point you to, but these are the ones that made me need to see more. Now if I could just find a free ticket to the upcoming Elimination Chamber at the Target Center...
100 by 30 Book 44 - The She-Hulk Diaries by Marta Acosta
What do you get when you mix chick-lit with the Marvel Universe? A surprisingly fun and breezy tale of lawsuits, genetic manipulation, and the never ending quest to find the right love of your life. The She-Hulk Diaries follows a half year in the life of Jennifer Walters / She-Hulk.
For those you aren't familiar with Bruce Banner's Cousin, here's the quick rundown: Jennifer Walters was an up and coming hot shot attorney when some bad thing happened to her. Bruce donated his blood to save her life and she gained a version of his Hulk powers. Unlike Hulk, She-Hulk is a smart, sexy fully expressive character. Since she has her own personality, Jennifer is basically sharing her body with her room mate. Since She-Hulk is indestructible, she tends to live on the wild side, enjoying all night parties, and often making the kind of choices normally reserved for former Disney child stars. Despite their prowess in the courtroom, Jennifer/She-Hulk are being evicted from the Avengers' mansion due to several extra-curricular incidents involving millions of dollars of property damage.
The book is told through the eyes of Jennifer as she tries to get her life back on track in the new year. When it comes time for her to Hulk-out, we get a sense of what it feels like to watch someone else control your body. Jennifer and "Shulky" have a fun sisterly dynamic with Jennifer trying to keep Shulky from appearing on TMZ, Shulky tries to get Jennifer to let loose a little more. It works well as character development, and the notes they leave to each other offer a nice dose of humor.
The main conflict involves a bio-engineering lawsuit where Jennifer is suing the best friend of a former fling of hers and said fling happens to be engaged to here new boss. We get lots of insults, snide comments, and smoldering glances. We also get a sexy Swedish scientist who might not be all that he seems.
While the book is decidedly a light read, I have to say I found it to be rather charming in it's own way. If I'm gonna read a silly romance book, I do prefer a story with smart, self-reliant female characters who can take care of themselves. It also helps if I get a nice dose of super-powered awesomeness.
7/10
For those you aren't familiar with Bruce Banner's Cousin, here's the quick rundown: Jennifer Walters was an up and coming hot shot attorney when some bad thing happened to her. Bruce donated his blood to save her life and she gained a version of his Hulk powers. Unlike Hulk, She-Hulk is a smart, sexy fully expressive character. Since she has her own personality, Jennifer is basically sharing her body with her room mate. Since She-Hulk is indestructible, she tends to live on the wild side, enjoying all night parties, and often making the kind of choices normally reserved for former Disney child stars. Despite their prowess in the courtroom, Jennifer/She-Hulk are being evicted from the Avengers' mansion due to several extra-curricular incidents involving millions of dollars of property damage.
The book is told through the eyes of Jennifer as she tries to get her life back on track in the new year. When it comes time for her to Hulk-out, we get a sense of what it feels like to watch someone else control your body. Jennifer and "Shulky" have a fun sisterly dynamic with Jennifer trying to keep Shulky from appearing on TMZ, Shulky tries to get Jennifer to let loose a little more. It works well as character development, and the notes they leave to each other offer a nice dose of humor.
The main conflict involves a bio-engineering lawsuit where Jennifer is suing the best friend of a former fling of hers and said fling happens to be engaged to here new boss. We get lots of insults, snide comments, and smoldering glances. We also get a sexy Swedish scientist who might not be all that he seems.
While the book is decidedly a light read, I have to say I found it to be rather charming in it's own way. If I'm gonna read a silly romance book, I do prefer a story with smart, self-reliant female characters who can take care of themselves. It also helps if I get a nice dose of super-powered awesomeness.
7/10
Thursday, December 5, 2013
100 by 30 Book 43 - The Lord of the Rings: The Appendices...'cuz you weren't going to read it.
Yes I am counting the Appendices to the Lord of the Rings as a whole book. First of all, it's well over a hundred pages. Secondly, someone had to see what was in there so they could explain to you why the Hobbit is being stretched into 3 films. And finally, because holy crap is this some dull reading.
We'll get to the good stuff in a minute, but we need to spend a little time covering what constitutes about two thirds of the Appendices first. Here are the three topics that take up the majority of this book:
1. genealogy - You remember that whole section of the bible where they just list names? Imagine that with sillier names.
2. pronunciation guide and a history of languages - This is your go-to spot for an in depth look at how to pronounce the different languages in Middle Earth and why. It's also good for curing insomnia. This is your next step once you've mastered Klingon.
3. Calendars - How much time do you think someone could devote to explaining how months and weeks work? one, maybe two paragraphs? Try about 20+ pages of the most banal minutiae you can think of. I don't understand how this even got published for public viewing. Does the 8th Amendment mean nothing?!
While the above list contains nothing I would recommend anyone to read ever, it does shed light on just how specific Tolkien was in creating Middle Earth. From that perspective, it's almost admirable. Crazy, but admirable. Like a street preacher in Minneapolis in February, you gotta award points for commitment.
So what else is in the appendices? Quite a bit actually. We get a very nice overview of the history of the race of men, including a brief recounting of the fall of the ancient island of Numenor. For those of you who don't know, Numenor was more or less a Middle Earth version of the Atlantis myth. Everyone who lived there was super smart and awesome and lived for hundreds of years. But their long lives and massive power only made them long to have the power and immortality of the elves. So with a little coaxing from Sauron, they made the Valar (angels or demigod-like beings)very mad and Numenor was destroyed. Those who Survived sailed to Middle Earth and Founded the nations of Gondor in the South, and Arnor in the North (which included the Shire). They ruled over the more common men who lived their and things were good for a bit. Then Sauron returned and he was super mad because he got all messed up when Numenor was destroyed and he couldn't look pretty anymore. Then there was that whole thing about the rings that you saw in the prologue to the Fellowship of the Ring and Sauron goes bye bye for a few thousand years.
In the meantime, there's like, millions of battles with the bad guys from the East and South. Then the Witch King (that bad dude who got stabbed in the face by that girl in the 3rd movie) sets up his fortress in Angmar (In the north west, above the shire) and just kills everybody for a long time until the northern Kingdom is destroyed. He's finally chased away or something, and that's how Aragorn's people where reduced from kings to rangers. Other highlights cover the founding of Rohan, the decline of Gondor, the corruption of Sauroman, and the full story of Arwen and Aragorn. There is a lot of fascinating stuff
to browse through here.
As for the Hobbit stuff. We get a nice history of the dwarves. We learn that it was the awakening of the Balrog in Moria that caused the dwarves to move to the Lonely Mountain in the first place. Some of the dwarves moved to the mountains in the far north, which brought the attention of the dragons, which isn't a good thing, so they moved back to the Lonely Mountain and things were great for awhile. Then that Smaug thing happened. The basic history of what happened next is covered in the first Hobbit film. More importantly, we learn why Gandalf even got involved in the first place. Gandalf knew an evil was stirring, and he also knew that there was no power in the North to withstand an assault if Sauron should return. The Dwarves living in the Iron Hills were cut off from any allies by the desolation of Smaug and the dragon himself. Gandalf was aiding Thorin in hopes that the dragon might be destroyed and the north might be restored, thereby strengthening the defense of Middle Earth while simultaneously removing a formidable foe and potential ally of Sauron. The plan went better than anticipated as the battle of five armies destroyed a huge legion of orcs as well. The North was then able to successfully defeat the armies Sauron threw at them during the War of the Ring.
We also get a simple statement that Gandalf led a successful assault on Sauron's fortress of Dol Guldur in Southern Mirkwood forest. In the original Hobbit book, Gandalf just leaves without much warning. When we finally see him again at the end of the book he's all, "Yeah, sorry about leaving, had to gather a bunch of my super friends together to drive the Necromancer out of Mirkwood." Which always made me angry. Fighting a Necromancer sounds awesome and badass and way cooler than dwarves under siege because their king has gone cukoo for Cocoa Puffs (in this analogy, Cocoa Puffs=more gold than you can shake a stick at). This is a major, major event in the history of Middle Earth, and we've never been presented with an adequate telling of the battle of Dol Guldur. Until now. And, because it's the sort of event that demands setting up and fleshing out, that's why you need 3 Hobbit movies. So quit your whinning, pee before the movie starts, and enjoy some more dwarf songs!
We'll get to the good stuff in a minute, but we need to spend a little time covering what constitutes about two thirds of the Appendices first. Here are the three topics that take up the majority of this book:
1. genealogy - You remember that whole section of the bible where they just list names? Imagine that with sillier names.
2. pronunciation guide and a history of languages - This is your go-to spot for an in depth look at how to pronounce the different languages in Middle Earth and why. It's also good for curing insomnia. This is your next step once you've mastered Klingon.
3. Calendars - How much time do you think someone could devote to explaining how months and weeks work? one, maybe two paragraphs? Try about 20+ pages of the most banal minutiae you can think of. I don't understand how this even got published for public viewing. Does the 8th Amendment mean nothing?!
While the above list contains nothing I would recommend anyone to read ever, it does shed light on just how specific Tolkien was in creating Middle Earth. From that perspective, it's almost admirable. Crazy, but admirable. Like a street preacher in Minneapolis in February, you gotta award points for commitment.
So what else is in the appendices? Quite a bit actually. We get a very nice overview of the history of the race of men, including a brief recounting of the fall of the ancient island of Numenor. For those of you who don't know, Numenor was more or less a Middle Earth version of the Atlantis myth. Everyone who lived there was super smart and awesome and lived for hundreds of years. But their long lives and massive power only made them long to have the power and immortality of the elves. So with a little coaxing from Sauron, they made the Valar (angels or demigod-like beings)very mad and Numenor was destroyed. Those who Survived sailed to Middle Earth and Founded the nations of Gondor in the South, and Arnor in the North (which included the Shire). They ruled over the more common men who lived their and things were good for a bit. Then Sauron returned and he was super mad because he got all messed up when Numenor was destroyed and he couldn't look pretty anymore. Then there was that whole thing about the rings that you saw in the prologue to the Fellowship of the Ring and Sauron goes bye bye for a few thousand years.
In the meantime, there's like, millions of battles with the bad guys from the East and South. Then the Witch King (that bad dude who got stabbed in the face by that girl in the 3rd movie) sets up his fortress in Angmar (In the north west, above the shire) and just kills everybody for a long time until the northern Kingdom is destroyed. He's finally chased away or something, and that's how Aragorn's people where reduced from kings to rangers. Other highlights cover the founding of Rohan, the decline of Gondor, the corruption of Sauroman, and the full story of Arwen and Aragorn. There is a lot of fascinating stuff
to browse through here.
As for the Hobbit stuff. We get a nice history of the dwarves. We learn that it was the awakening of the Balrog in Moria that caused the dwarves to move to the Lonely Mountain in the first place. Some of the dwarves moved to the mountains in the far north, which brought the attention of the dragons, which isn't a good thing, so they moved back to the Lonely Mountain and things were great for awhile. Then that Smaug thing happened. The basic history of what happened next is covered in the first Hobbit film. More importantly, we learn why Gandalf even got involved in the first place. Gandalf knew an evil was stirring, and he also knew that there was no power in the North to withstand an assault if Sauron should return. The Dwarves living in the Iron Hills were cut off from any allies by the desolation of Smaug and the dragon himself. Gandalf was aiding Thorin in hopes that the dragon might be destroyed and the north might be restored, thereby strengthening the defense of Middle Earth while simultaneously removing a formidable foe and potential ally of Sauron. The plan went better than anticipated as the battle of five armies destroyed a huge legion of orcs as well. The North was then able to successfully defeat the armies Sauron threw at them during the War of the Ring.
We also get a simple statement that Gandalf led a successful assault on Sauron's fortress of Dol Guldur in Southern Mirkwood forest. In the original Hobbit book, Gandalf just leaves without much warning. When we finally see him again at the end of the book he's all, "Yeah, sorry about leaving, had to gather a bunch of my super friends together to drive the Necromancer out of Mirkwood." Which always made me angry. Fighting a Necromancer sounds awesome and badass and way cooler than dwarves under siege because their king has gone cukoo for Cocoa Puffs (in this analogy, Cocoa Puffs=more gold than you can shake a stick at). This is a major, major event in the history of Middle Earth, and we've never been presented with an adequate telling of the battle of Dol Guldur. Until now. And, because it's the sort of event that demands setting up and fleshing out, that's why you need 3 Hobbit movies. So quit your whinning, pee before the movie starts, and enjoy some more dwarf songs!
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
100 by 30 book 42 - The Lord of the Rings: Book 6 - and you thought the movie had too many endings
Whoohoo! I finished the whole Lord of the Rings! It's pretty darn good. The final book kicks off with Sam rescuing Frodo, then destroying the ring. It's all pretty much exactly the way it happens in the movie. The destruction of the ring and the downfall of Sauron only takes less than half of the final book. So what else is there? You know how everyone bitched and moaned about how long the final movie took to end? Well, that was the cliff's notes ending. The book has a long extended sequence of Eowyn and Faramir falling in love while they wait for the troops to return. They we go tree hunting, Aragorn gets married, and they we hang out in Gondor for a good long while. Eventually, we start to leave for the Shire, but we stop at every major location along the way on a Middle Earth fairwell tour. "Goodbye Rohan! Goodbye Lothlorien! Goodbye Sauorman and Treebeard! Goodbye Elrond and Bilbo! Goodbye Sauroman again!
When our four hobbits do get back to the Shire, it has been taken over by thugs and hooligans. The trees are being cut down and the shire folk are being crushed under the oppressive new regime. Luckily, our 4 heroes are up to the challenge. with a little help from their friends, the kill a whole bunch of the bad guys dead save the Shire. This is totally missing from the movies. It was one of my favorite parts of the book. This chapter seems to serve several important purposes. First, the Shirefolk are forced to realize how precious their way of life really was. They then get a chance to find out how strong they really are.
Most importantly though, this sequence gives us a chance for Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Frodo to show how much they've grown. For the past 950 pages they've been a major part of the story, but they've had to share the stage with some of the most powerful forces in the world. Here, we get to see that Merry and Pippin have evolved from comedic sidekicks to expert strategists capable of leading an army. Sam, who defeated Shelob in single combat, has become a fearless warrior. And Frodo has become a war weary hobbit who only wants peace. Frodo's exhaustion with violence and death adds a nice layer of depth to what is otherwise a thrilling final adventure. Instead of simply cheering as the hobbits revolt against their oppressors, we are forced to realize the cost of so much death and destruction. Frodo does everything in his power to prevent more bloodshed and fails.
I wonder if Tolkien was using this final battle as a way to better demonstrate Faramir's thoughts on war in Book 4 where he says, "I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend." It is easy to enjoy the battles in Gondor and Rohan because we barely know the people of those lands apart from a few major characters. But the Shire represents home. It is a community in which we've been introduced to many of the characters and we want to protect them. Frodo's need for peace if possible keeps the focus on using force only as a final resort to defend that which he loves. It's a final reminder that the focus of the Lord of the Rings isn't magnificent battles, but the struggle to preserve that which is most precious. It's about the peoples and homelands our heroes defend, not the defense itself.
Sam is the fulfillment of that goal. He heals the Shire and makes it a place fit to raise a family. That last moment isn't the grand departure of Frodo and the elves, it's a small moment of Sam returning to his wife and children. And it's perfect.
The ending. The ending is perfect. The Journey to get there is fabulous, but it has some slow spots.
8/10
And sometimes you wonder if the author is just writing to amuse himself. I mean, how long do we really need to talk about Gimli
and Legolas bro-ing out in the glittering caves and the old forest?
And why do we have to stop every 20 feet to say goodbye to everyone?! Seriously, it's the novel equivalent of trying to leave a family party during the holidays.
And when you think it's finally over, there's like this whole other thing that happens, which is great and all but come on! We dropped the jewelry in the lava pit like 4 hours ago, let's wrap it up already! I don't care what your excuse is! Hire the dang eagles to take you home! What? Yes they will. Don't give me that "It's all about the journey crap." We had the journey and the adventure, what else do you need to know? When I go on vacation, I don't get back and spend 20% of the story telling you how I got home. No, the most you'll get out of me is "We flew back. it was nice." Why couldn't JRR do that?
Ok. I'm done now. For real this time. :)
When our four hobbits do get back to the Shire, it has been taken over by thugs and hooligans. The trees are being cut down and the shire folk are being crushed under the oppressive new regime. Luckily, our 4 heroes are up to the challenge. with a little help from their friends, the kill a whole bunch of the bad guys dead save the Shire. This is totally missing from the movies. It was one of my favorite parts of the book. This chapter seems to serve several important purposes. First, the Shirefolk are forced to realize how precious their way of life really was. They then get a chance to find out how strong they really are.
Most importantly though, this sequence gives us a chance for Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Frodo to show how much they've grown. For the past 950 pages they've been a major part of the story, but they've had to share the stage with some of the most powerful forces in the world. Here, we get to see that Merry and Pippin have evolved from comedic sidekicks to expert strategists capable of leading an army. Sam, who defeated Shelob in single combat, has become a fearless warrior. And Frodo has become a war weary hobbit who only wants peace. Frodo's exhaustion with violence and death adds a nice layer of depth to what is otherwise a thrilling final adventure. Instead of simply cheering as the hobbits revolt against their oppressors, we are forced to realize the cost of so much death and destruction. Frodo does everything in his power to prevent more bloodshed and fails.
I wonder if Tolkien was using this final battle as a way to better demonstrate Faramir's thoughts on war in Book 4 where he says, "I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend." It is easy to enjoy the battles in Gondor and Rohan because we barely know the people of those lands apart from a few major characters. But the Shire represents home. It is a community in which we've been introduced to many of the characters and we want to protect them. Frodo's need for peace if possible keeps the focus on using force only as a final resort to defend that which he loves. It's a final reminder that the focus of the Lord of the Rings isn't magnificent battles, but the struggle to preserve that which is most precious. It's about the peoples and homelands our heroes defend, not the defense itself.
Sam is the fulfillment of that goal. He heals the Shire and makes it a place fit to raise a family. That last moment isn't the grand departure of Frodo and the elves, it's a small moment of Sam returning to his wife and children. And it's perfect.
The ending. The ending is perfect. The Journey to get there is fabulous, but it has some slow spots.
8/10
And sometimes you wonder if the author is just writing to amuse himself. I mean, how long do we really need to talk about Gimli
and Legolas bro-ing out in the glittering caves and the old forest?
And why do we have to stop every 20 feet to say goodbye to everyone?! Seriously, it's the novel equivalent of trying to leave a family party during the holidays.
And when you think it's finally over, there's like this whole other thing that happens, which is great and all but come on! We dropped the jewelry in the lava pit like 4 hours ago, let's wrap it up already! I don't care what your excuse is! Hire the dang eagles to take you home! What? Yes they will. Don't give me that "It's all about the journey crap." We had the journey and the adventure, what else do you need to know? When I go on vacation, I don't get back and spend 20% of the story telling you how I got home. No, the most you'll get out of me is "We flew back. it was nice." Why couldn't JRR do that?
Ok. I'm done now. For real this time. :)
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
100 by 30 book 41 - Birds of Prey, Batwing, Batman & Robin
We'll try to keep this short and sweet today. I'm behind on blogging and we need to get back to some novels.
Birds of Prey - This is an all female team of vigilantes based in Gotham City. This line up includes ex-assassin Starling, Meta-human Black Canary, the Japanese samurai Katana (whose dead husband's soul lives in her sword), and Poison Ivy. It's a pretty fun mixed of messed-up antiheroes trying to be do gooders AND keep the body count to a minimum. Their penchant for headshots and decapitations is enough to keep former member Batgirl far away. It's a wild and weird book with some intriguing B-level heroes.
7/10
Batwing - Holy blood and guts Batman! As part of Bruce Wayne's Batman, Inc. initiative, he travels to the Democratic Republic of the Congo to recruit David Zavimbe to be the "Batman of Africa." He is a former child Soldier turned Police Officer, and Batman hooks him up with an Iron Man/Batman hybrid Costume. The book embraces our image of Africa as a barely functioning society and introduces us to a truly horrific villain known as Massacre. Basically, He's an African version of Jason from the Friday the 13th series. Blood, guts, and body parts are everywhere. It's an interesting book at times, but mostly leans to heavily on stereotypes while attempting to be topical. You can skip this one.
5/10
Batman & Robin: Vol. 2 - More Father/Son drama for Bruce and his little Damian. All the previous Robins make appearances in this one, and we get an interesting look at Bruce's legacy as a mentor. As always, Dick Grayson shows that his the best. It's a nice continuation of the story, and the characters are much better than anything in Batwing.
7/10
Birds of Prey - This is an all female team of vigilantes based in Gotham City. This line up includes ex-assassin Starling, Meta-human Black Canary, the Japanese samurai Katana (whose dead husband's soul lives in her sword), and Poison Ivy. It's a pretty fun mixed of messed-up antiheroes trying to be do gooders AND keep the body count to a minimum. Their penchant for headshots and decapitations is enough to keep former member Batgirl far away. It's a wild and weird book with some intriguing B-level heroes.
7/10
Batwing - Holy blood and guts Batman! As part of Bruce Wayne's Batman, Inc. initiative, he travels to the Democratic Republic of the Congo to recruit David Zavimbe to be the "Batman of Africa." He is a former child Soldier turned Police Officer, and Batman hooks him up with an Iron Man/Batman hybrid Costume. The book embraces our image of Africa as a barely functioning society and introduces us to a truly horrific villain known as Massacre. Basically, He's an African version of Jason from the Friday the 13th series. Blood, guts, and body parts are everywhere. It's an interesting book at times, but mostly leans to heavily on stereotypes while attempting to be topical. You can skip this one.
5/10
Batman & Robin: Vol. 2 - More Father/Son drama for Bruce and his little Damian. All the previous Robins make appearances in this one, and we get an interesting look at Bruce's legacy as a mentor. As always, Dick Grayson shows that his the best. It's a nice continuation of the story, and the characters are much better than anything in Batwing.
7/10
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