Um, Sweetie, are you watching Wrestling?

A few weeks ago I was sitting home with a case of bronchitis and an allergy attack. My brain felt like it was being squished and I couldn't breathe so hot either. Basically, I needed to just lay on the couch and zone out for few days. It's the kind of sick where you can't really sleep, but your brain can't focus on much either. What is a guy to do to pass the time??? Well, I had just listened to an episode of the Dork Forest podcast (it's awesome, you should check it out) where the dorkdom of the day was professional wrestling. Listening to a pair of 40-something dudes talk about their love of Pro-wrestling brought back the memories of watching WCW with my dad back in grade school. So I thought to myself, "what the hell?" and I began watching old Royal Rumble matches on YouTube while I waiting for my brain to start working again.....

20+ Royal Rumbles later, and now I find myself inexplicably fascinated with the product. When I was a young boy, I knew wrestling was "fake" and that was part of the fun. We'd put each other in the "submission" holds and laugh at how ineffective they were. Since the word fake was applied, I could enjoy it as pure fantasy. Fast forward 15 or so years and I find myself with a new appreciation for what these athletes put themselves through. Yes, pro-wrestling is entertainment, not sport, but it takes world-class athletes to make it work. When you look at the shear number of former wrestlers who died prematurely or have to live with crippling health issues, you realize that this isn't as "fake" as people would like you to believe.

Perhaps the saddest story involves one of my favorite wrestlers when I was young. Chris Benoit was one of the most exhilarating performers I've ever seen. He was 2 tons of ferocity in a 170lb body. Then, one day he murdered he wife and child. He sat around the house for a day or so before hanging himself. When they did the autopsy, they discovered that Benoit had the brain degeneration normally reserved for people in their late 80s. He suffered the same kind of repeated concussions that have become a scourge to the NFL. Netfix also has a nice selection of career retrospectives of former wrestling legends. The common theme through most of them is the severe amount of physical harm these performers endure. What you also see though, is a sense that these performers seem to feel that the sacrifice is worth it to put on shows that thrill audiences.

So what about the shows, you ask? How can I be drawn to something so barbaric and silly? Well, I'm not totally sure. I do know that the few people I know of who also like wrestling are thoughtful, highly intelligent people, and not the stereotypical rednecks and jocks the program is commonly associated with. Wrestling seems to be a fascinating mix of some of my favorite forms of entertainment. You have theatrical characters and set pieces, storylines that would fit at home in your standard action movie, death defying stunts, and this weird mix of truth and misdirection. The best wrestling is a master class in improvisation as the wrestlers weave enough truth into their storylines so that you aren't always sure when or how you are being lied to. Indeed, the most exciting performers are simply playing larger than life versions of themselves. Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, Mick Foley, CM Punk and others are all revealing sides of themselves to create their characters and giving them a sense of authenticity that draws you to them. I also like the way that Wrestling airs some of it's real dirty laundry and weaves it into the main storyline. CM Punk is famous for a promo he did in 2011 where he basically broke the 4th wall and said a lot of things that fans were feeling. It was by all appearances, a "shoot"(when the performer goes off script) and it is still electrifying to watch. While honesty on the mic is good, the in-ring product is at it's best when the opponents have great chemistry and trust. A truly great match involves performers working together to tell a story, and you can't do that if you don't trust your partner. For those of you who are actors, you know the difference between having a scene with a generous performer who connects with you and one who barely notices that your are there.

I love the way Pro wrestling can create sport as we wish it could be. One of the first Pay-per view events after the death of Eddie Guerrero was the 2006 Royal Rumble. As a sign of respect, one of his best friends, Rey Mysterio entered the 30 man elimination match to Eddie's old entrance music in a low rider. He said before hand that he was dedicating his performance to the memory of his friend. Rey went 60 minutes in the ring and won the event. Knowing it was all per-determined didn't stop me from throwing my fists in the air and cheering when he won. It was like a live version of Rudy and showcased the best that wrestling has to offer.

I also enjoy the way that some injuries are handled. Steve Austin suffered a severe neck injury during a botched piledriver in a match with Owen Hart. He continued to perform with the injury until surgery became essential. Rather than simply letting the biggest name in the game leave quietly for a year, they worked his absence into a storyline and had him get run over by a car while leaving the arena. As a Packer fan, I can say that that plot development is much more satisfying than say, watching your star quarterback go down in the first drive of a game and then the team craps all over the field for the next 5 weeks before learning to play football again. I'm sure Colts Fans can relate after enduring the "Suck for Luck" season. Wouldn't it have been more fun to have Jim Irsay run Peyton Manning down with is limo as a way to avoid signing him to a new contract?

Lastly, I appreciate the way the nature of Pro-wrestling allows legends to come back for one more moment in the sun. The best examples of this are in the Royal Rumble matches. The match starts with two wrestlers with a new wrestler being added every 90 seconds. Wrestlers are eliminated by being thrown over the top rope and both feet touching the floor. The last man standing after all 30 wrestlers enter wins. With so much happening, it's a great time for an old favorite to come out and hear the roar of the crowd, throw a few punches and get eliminated before breaking a hip. Seeing guys like "Hacksaw" Jim Dugan or Jake "the Snake" Roberts come out for a few more minutes of glory is kind of awesome. It's almost like bringing Joe Montana back for a series just to see him throw one more touchdown. In the back of my mind, I know that Jake Roberts is going to have to go right back to the trailer he lives in by my wife's grandma once the show is done, but I'm also happy that he gets a reminder that he hasn't been completely forgotten. You can say what you want about the Rock vs. Hulk Hogan at wrestle mania, but I like getting to see the guys who didn't get that big get one more standing ovation. And a paycheck. I saw The Wrestler. I know they need the paycheck too.

Thanks for bearing with me through this whole post. As a thank-you, here are a couple of my personal favorite moments to look up on You tube/netflix.

Honorable mention: 2000 Royal Rumble, Rikishi shows everybody that big men can dance. It's very silly.

Best match if you like your wrestling PG: 2006 Royal Rumble with Rey Mysterio

Best Match if you like your wrestling Extreme: Mankind Vs. Undertaker Hell in the Cell Match. Mankind survives one of the most horrifying stunts I've ever seen, and then finishes the match with his tooth sticking out of his nose. Yes, you read that right. It's as amazing and thrilling as it is gut-wrenching. Also, my dog is scared of the Undertaker's entrance music.

There are many many more matches that I'm sure my more knowledgeable friends could point you to, but these are the ones that made me need to see more. Now if I could just find a free ticket to the upcoming Elimination Chamber at the Target Center...