CANDY GIRL: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper by Diablo Cody
So, remember when JUNO came out and everyone was all like, "Dude, a stripper wrote this movie!" and other people were all like, "See, strippers are people too!" Yeah, turns out that wasn't really the case. I mean, Diablo Cody did spend a year in her mid-twenties working in the sex industry, but she wasn't a lifer. As you learn in this book, she started stripping almost as a dare to herself, after 24 years of well behaved, catholic upbringing. This book reads more as a quarter-life crisis. The high point of youth is threatening to slide into the necessity of becoming a responsible adult and Diablo Cody is looking to find something wild to do while she still has the excuse of being young.
And boy does she throw her heart and soul into it. This book is funny, thoughtful, gross, and very well-written. Diablo takes us on an adventure through the darkest corners of the Twin Cities adult scene, and we willingly go along for the ride because we know she turns out all right in the end. Because she is doing this almost as a cultural experiment, we get to see all sides of this lifestyle both as participant and voyeur. She casually tells anectdotes of events that will turn your stomach, but you also see how the things that would shock someone who's never been to a strip club become positively boring and mundane once you become a part of the scene. And it doesn't come across as a coping mechanism, you really do start to understand how the business of titilation can become boring. Even to the patrons. At one point, a stripper scolds a disinterested crowd with, "Hello! I'm naked up here!" Like working in a cubical, but with more glitter and worse lighting.
I thought the book did a nice job of aknowledging some of the true awfulness ths type of work inspires, and Diablo is sure to point out the the experiences of the performers ranged from women who seem to really love the work and enjoy being successful at it, to the kinds of life experiences most associated with daytime talk shows and anything on the Lifetime network. The best thing about this book is that Diablo Cody rarely judges anyone. If she is going through her "giving peep-shows to strangers" phase, she's fairly accepting of the people she meets with much stranger disires and fantasies. By not judging the industry as a whole, you do get to see all of the moral ambiguity and complexity the world has to offer. This book is short and strikes the kind of care-free tone that will get you through the ooky bits. I would recommend it, but only if your the type of person who also likes something like South Park, because your funny bone and gag reflex will both get a workout.
8/10
Monday, March 25, 2013
Thursday, March 21, 2013
DMCP # 62 - Dinosaur
Ok, I'm only gonna spend as much time on this as the screenwriters did on the script for this movie. Ooops, I'm over my time already. Quick rundown, this movie is bland with kind of cool visuals, but nothing of note in the character department. The lead character is voiced by the guy from Cutting Edge, and that should tell you everything you need to know. If you want a scarier dinosaur movie, watch Jurassic Park. If you want a better kids dinosaur movie, watch The Land Before Time. If you want to watch a better movie about dinosaurs slowly dying, watch the dinosaur part in Fantsia.
3/10
That said, I've now watched every theatrically released Disney animated feature, and I just have a few Pixar movies left to finish the project. Woohoo!
3/10
That said, I've now watched every theatrically released Disney animated feature, and I just have a few Pixar movies left to finish the project. Woohoo!
Monday, March 18, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 6
Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore
This is the final book in Kristin Cashore's 7 Kingdoms trilogy. It's a young adult fantasy series that inludes the books GRACELING, FIRE, and today's entry, BITTERBLUE. Each of the 3 books follows a young female protagonist learning to grow up in the dangerous world around her. GRACELING introduces us to the world of the 7 kingdoms where some people are born with special abilities called graces. In the first book, we meet Katsa, a young girl with the grace of killing. Book two, FIRE, introduces us to a strange land beyond the 7 Kingdoms, The Dells. Instead of graces, the Dells is a land of monsters, brightly colored animals that have special power over other creatures. It is there we meet FIRE, the last human monster in the world. Why am I bringing this up? Because while the first two books give us heroines with fantastic powers, the third book gives us our first (relatively) normal heroine, Queen Bitterblue. Before I get into spoilers, just know that all three books are fantastic, and you should go read them. They're even better than the Hunger Games.
(massive spoilers ahead for Graceling and Fire!!!)
At age 18, Bitterblue is tasked with finding a way to help her kingdom recover from 35 years of atrocities committed by her father, who had the Grace of telling lies that people beleved, meaning he has the power to control anyone who hears him. He can stab your mother in front of you and tell you she just committed suicide and you will believe him. That's about the nicest thing he ever did. So the book takes place 8 years after he is gone (I won't tell you how) and Bitterblue is starting to realize that the recovery in her kingdom is not going as well as she has been led to believe. Secrets and coverups and mysteries are everywhere, and the book delves into questions of how someone copes with awakening to the realization that horrible things have been done to them, or that they have been the perpetrators of horrific acts. The main characters are complex and well thought out, and, depsite the considerable drop in bloodshed compared to the first two books, this book has a much faster pace to it. You want to know the truth as bad at Bitterblue does, and you share her horror as you find out it was even worse than you can imagine. These books remind me of a young adult version of the Game of Thrones series, but with happy endings. Just as many horrific events take place, but it is mostly alluded too here (the evicerations and rape happen away from the main story). The geography is also much easier to figure out, which means you can enjoy the story without an atlas.
There are two themes that run through all three books. The first is the presense of a well-rounded female character. We have three main characters throughout these books and all three of them are extremely complex. Bitterblue begins the story in a bit of a daze, her advisors keep her doing the most boring paperwork they can find so that she doesn't learn about the intricasies of her Kingdom. It's not a flattering start. We have an incurious woman who doesn't take much of an interest in rulling her kingdom because it's 'boring.' Through the course of the book though, we get to see her transformation into a powerful, but compassionate ruler. And while, yes, there is some romance in all three books, it's never easy or stupid. When Bitterblue develops feelings for someone, it is a hindrance to her more than some wild fulfilling of her life's wish. It's much closer to the way love actually works. Turns out, women can like a boy, but also have more important things to deal with right now, like why people keep turning up dead.
The other huge theme in all three books is the presents of an abusive and controlling father figure. In Graceling, Katsa is used as an enforcer/assassin for a tyrant king; in Fire, her father used is ability to control minds to horrific ends; and in Bitterblue, the spector of the mad king poisons everything. Each character is trying to overcome horrific emotional abuse by a father character. The scars of this abuse are so well written that it seems like the author is writing from some first hand knowledge, though that is purely speculation on my part. In my opinion, one of the most horrifying aspects of the mad king is that we see some evidence that he actually cared about his daughter, that he wanted to build a world that she could inherit and follow his example. It's twisted and evil, but is also comes from a place of tenderness, and as such, causes more pain. It's so much easier to hate the abuser when you can forget that abuse and love aren't mutually exclusive. The king is evil, he murdered his wife in front of bitterblue and there is evidence that he wanted to do horrible things to his daughter, and to see that some part of him cared for her adds a messiness to the emotions in the book that Bitterblue has to deal with. In deed, a similar relationship exists in all three books. It's a hard thing to deal with, and gives the reader much more to think about than many adult oriented novels. These books contain many layered themes that older readers will pick up on that may be missed by younger ones. It's a hard balance to find and Kristin Cashore excels at it.
So if you are looking for a some really brilliant fantasy writing, with kick ass female leads, you should really just check out this whole series.
10/10
This is the final book in Kristin Cashore's 7 Kingdoms trilogy. It's a young adult fantasy series that inludes the books GRACELING, FIRE, and today's entry, BITTERBLUE. Each of the 3 books follows a young female protagonist learning to grow up in the dangerous world around her. GRACELING introduces us to the world of the 7 kingdoms where some people are born with special abilities called graces. In the first book, we meet Katsa, a young girl with the grace of killing. Book two, FIRE, introduces us to a strange land beyond the 7 Kingdoms, The Dells. Instead of graces, the Dells is a land of monsters, brightly colored animals that have special power over other creatures. It is there we meet FIRE, the last human monster in the world. Why am I bringing this up? Because while the first two books give us heroines with fantastic powers, the third book gives us our first (relatively) normal heroine, Queen Bitterblue. Before I get into spoilers, just know that all three books are fantastic, and you should go read them. They're even better than the Hunger Games.
(massive spoilers ahead for Graceling and Fire!!!)
At age 18, Bitterblue is tasked with finding a way to help her kingdom recover from 35 years of atrocities committed by her father, who had the Grace of telling lies that people beleved, meaning he has the power to control anyone who hears him. He can stab your mother in front of you and tell you she just committed suicide and you will believe him. That's about the nicest thing he ever did. So the book takes place 8 years after he is gone (I won't tell you how) and Bitterblue is starting to realize that the recovery in her kingdom is not going as well as she has been led to believe. Secrets and coverups and mysteries are everywhere, and the book delves into questions of how someone copes with awakening to the realization that horrible things have been done to them, or that they have been the perpetrators of horrific acts. The main characters are complex and well thought out, and, depsite the considerable drop in bloodshed compared to the first two books, this book has a much faster pace to it. You want to know the truth as bad at Bitterblue does, and you share her horror as you find out it was even worse than you can imagine. These books remind me of a young adult version of the Game of Thrones series, but with happy endings. Just as many horrific events take place, but it is mostly alluded too here (the evicerations and rape happen away from the main story). The geography is also much easier to figure out, which means you can enjoy the story without an atlas.
There are two themes that run through all three books. The first is the presense of a well-rounded female character. We have three main characters throughout these books and all three of them are extremely complex. Bitterblue begins the story in a bit of a daze, her advisors keep her doing the most boring paperwork they can find so that she doesn't learn about the intricasies of her Kingdom. It's not a flattering start. We have an incurious woman who doesn't take much of an interest in rulling her kingdom because it's 'boring.' Through the course of the book though, we get to see her transformation into a powerful, but compassionate ruler. And while, yes, there is some romance in all three books, it's never easy or stupid. When Bitterblue develops feelings for someone, it is a hindrance to her more than some wild fulfilling of her life's wish. It's much closer to the way love actually works. Turns out, women can like a boy, but also have more important things to deal with right now, like why people keep turning up dead.
The other huge theme in all three books is the presents of an abusive and controlling father figure. In Graceling, Katsa is used as an enforcer/assassin for a tyrant king; in Fire, her father used is ability to control minds to horrific ends; and in Bitterblue, the spector of the mad king poisons everything. Each character is trying to overcome horrific emotional abuse by a father character. The scars of this abuse are so well written that it seems like the author is writing from some first hand knowledge, though that is purely speculation on my part. In my opinion, one of the most horrifying aspects of the mad king is that we see some evidence that he actually cared about his daughter, that he wanted to build a world that she could inherit and follow his example. It's twisted and evil, but is also comes from a place of tenderness, and as such, causes more pain. It's so much easier to hate the abuser when you can forget that abuse and love aren't mutually exclusive. The king is evil, he murdered his wife in front of bitterblue and there is evidence that he wanted to do horrible things to his daughter, and to see that some part of him cared for her adds a messiness to the emotions in the book that Bitterblue has to deal with. In deed, a similar relationship exists in all three books. It's a hard thing to deal with, and gives the reader much more to think about than many adult oriented novels. These books contain many layered themes that older readers will pick up on that may be missed by younger ones. It's a hard balance to find and Kristin Cashore excels at it.
So if you are looking for a some really brilliant fantasy writing, with kick ass female leads, you should really just check out this whole series.
10/10
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
DMCP# 61 - Fantasia 2000
Fantasia 2000 was such a breath of fresh air. The movie opens with Leopold Stokowski's opening naration from the first Fantasia. The film brings in the original animation from the opening Tocatta in D Sequence, and as the sound waterfalls through the clouds and to the ground, the animation changes into a burst of color and we see a group of colorful triangles floating like butterflies. They fly around and are chased by an ominous cloud of black "bat" triangles. It's thrilling and gorgeous and a wonderful introduction to a new Fantasia. We then meet our first in a series of celebrity cameos as Steve Martin explains the original vision for Fantasia was an ever evolving work of art, with new and old pieces changing all the time. Then we get into the pieces:
1. Toccata in D reimagined- 8/10 - I already spoke about this above, but it really is a beautiful melding of the old and new (and a refreshing change from the revolting animation in Oliver and Company)
2. Pines of Rome - 7/10 - This isn't my favorite piece, but it is still a stunning, sureal vision of the artic ocean. We get flying whales, swimming birds, and some great shots of icebergs and the northern lights
3. Rhapsody in Blue - 11/10 - This is hands down my Favorite. It starts with that long clarinet note and one line on the screen which turns into the New York City skyline in the 1930's. We get to see a day in the life of several characters across the city: A young construction worker who wants to be a musician, a man looking for work, a rich husband with an overbearing wife, and a precocious young girl who doesn't quite fit in. It's thrilling, heartfelt, and all set to an all-time American classic.
4. Steadfast Tin Soldier - 9/10 - This Hans Christian Anderson tale uses an interesting mix of what looks like hand drawn and computer animation. The story is very sweet and a great reminder that a Jack-in-the-box is creepy and probably wants to steal your girlfriend and murder you. Because that's how they roll... Jerks.
5. Carnival of the animals - 9/10 - What happens when you give a flamingo a yo-yo? About 2 minutes of slapstick genius, that's what.
6. Sorcerer's Apprentice - 10/10 - I think they brought this one back mostly for the people whose attention span would never let them get through the 2+ hours of Fantasia. That's ok, because this piece is a classic
7. pomp and circumstance - 10/10 - Noah's Ark starring Donald and Daisy duck. Donald proves once again that he is the true talent and that Mickey has been riding his coattails for the last 80 years. It's funny and clever and so well done that you forget that this song is actually quite insufferable on its own.
8. The Firebird - 7/10 - And then we end on a lower note. This is a fine little piece about a spirit of nature and her struggle against the destructive and terrible Firebird. It's not that this is bad, but the imagery brings to mind to far superior Night on Bald Mountain from the original.
Overall, this is a much shorter Fantasia, but I think this might be a better length for this type of film. Between the two films, we get enough truly stunning and visionary animation that I hope that we get another installment someday, hopefully with installments featuring the Pixar studio and Studio Ghibli.
9/10
1. Toccata in D reimagined- 8/10 - I already spoke about this above, but it really is a beautiful melding of the old and new (and a refreshing change from the revolting animation in Oliver and Company)
2. Pines of Rome - 7/10 - This isn't my favorite piece, but it is still a stunning, sureal vision of the artic ocean. We get flying whales, swimming birds, and some great shots of icebergs and the northern lights
3. Rhapsody in Blue - 11/10 - This is hands down my Favorite. It starts with that long clarinet note and one line on the screen which turns into the New York City skyline in the 1930's. We get to see a day in the life of several characters across the city: A young construction worker who wants to be a musician, a man looking for work, a rich husband with an overbearing wife, and a precocious young girl who doesn't quite fit in. It's thrilling, heartfelt, and all set to an all-time American classic.
4. Steadfast Tin Soldier - 9/10 - This Hans Christian Anderson tale uses an interesting mix of what looks like hand drawn and computer animation. The story is very sweet and a great reminder that a Jack-in-the-box is creepy and probably wants to steal your girlfriend and murder you. Because that's how they roll... Jerks.
5. Carnival of the animals - 9/10 - What happens when you give a flamingo a yo-yo? About 2 minutes of slapstick genius, that's what.
6. Sorcerer's Apprentice - 10/10 - I think they brought this one back mostly for the people whose attention span would never let them get through the 2+ hours of Fantasia. That's ok, because this piece is a classic
7. pomp and circumstance - 10/10 - Noah's Ark starring Donald and Daisy duck. Donald proves once again that he is the true talent and that Mickey has been riding his coattails for the last 80 years. It's funny and clever and so well done that you forget that this song is actually quite insufferable on its own.
8. The Firebird - 7/10 - And then we end on a lower note. This is a fine little piece about a spirit of nature and her struggle against the destructive and terrible Firebird. It's not that this is bad, but the imagery brings to mind to far superior Night on Bald Mountain from the original.
Overall, this is a much shorter Fantasia, but I think this might be a better length for this type of film. Between the two films, we get enough truly stunning and visionary animation that I hope that we get another installment someday, hopefully with installments featuring the Pixar studio and Studio Ghibli.
9/10
DMCP# 60 - Oliver and Company
It's a good thing I like Billy Joel, otherwise I'd have nothing good to say about this movie. First off, this is one of the rare Disney movies where the animation is offensively bad. Like, 80's cartoons bad. I think Gem and the Holograms has better animation than this movie. Because the animation is so bad, the voice actors have no help in creating memorable characters. It's really hard to make Dom Deluise, Bette Midler, and Cheech Marin boring, but they manage it here. As for the story, it's loosely based on Oliver Twist. A kitten named Oliver is given up for adoption, but nobody wants him, he finds a family with a gang of dog thieves, they leave him in a limo during a heist gone bad, and the little girl in the limo adopts him. The dogs rescue him and their human friend, Fagin, tries to ransom Oliver to repay a debt to the mob. Little girl gets kidnapped tying to save him, dogs come to the rescue and mob guy gets hit by a subway train. Everyone lives happily ever after, now you don't have to sit through this thing. In fact, the only good part of the movie is Billy Joel's song, which they sing twice. It's hard to believe that this is the last movie before The Little Mermaid. After sitting through Black Cauldron, Great Mouse Detective, and Oliver and Company, I have such a greater apreciation for the quality of The Little Mermaid. Even if I'm not the biggest fan, it reinvented the studio and returned it to the quality deserving of the Disney name. Now I'm going to go watch Fantasia 2000 because I need to see some quality animation stat.
2/10
2/10
Saturday, March 9, 2013
DMCP# 59 - Bolt
I'm saving the Toy Story sequels for last. I want to make sure that this project ends on a high note. Bolt is not a high note. Bolt is the most insufferable kind of modern cartoon. It's hip, winking, and never even comes close to hitting on an honest moment during the entire 96 min runtime. Bolt is the star of a knockoff Inspector Gadget TV show. The show within a show intro is the closest this movie comes to being entertaining, but then we get to see behind the scenes of the show. For some stupid reason, the whole show is designed to fool the dog into thinking the show is real. They go to absurd lengths, which are played for laughs, but the jokes are strained and stupid. In fact the whole movie is working way to hard to fool a dog into thinking he's a superhero. I have a dog. He can be fooled with very little effort, it's called "The fake throw" and it works every time. Anyway, blah blah blah Bolt thinks his owner has been kidnapped and runs away to save her. Then we get wacky adventures with obnoxious characters and a recurring joke about styrofoam. From sidekick to star, the whole thing is strained and painfully unfunny (except for a few brief moments from the hamster) I think the biggest problem is that the movie hinges on the audience relating to John Travolta and Miley Cyrus. I'm not saying they can't be entertaining, but when was the last time John Travolta conveyed anything honest? Correct answer: never, he has never given a performance that showed honest human emotions. This means he can't play a dog. Dog's are fundamentally incapable of dishonesty, and that's why you can't have a movie with a fake actor trying to be a dog. It sucks. And Miley Cyrus is terrible too... but you already knew that.
3/10
3/10
DMCP# 58 - Brother Bear
Down to the final 8! for those of you playing along at home, this is what we have left
Toy Story 2
Toy Story 3
Brave
Fantasia 2000
Dinosaur
Bolt
Oliver & Company
and today's movie: Brother Bear.
According to Rotten Tomatoes, this is the second worst Disney movie, only beating Chicken Little (which I quite enjoyed). The main complaint is that this movie is mild and dull. I think they missed the part where a character dies pretty tragically in the first 20 minutes, then a relative goes out for revenge, kills a character's mom and ends up sort of dressed in her dead body. So yeah, nothing to see here. This movie also is Disney's third foray into telling a story with native american characters, and I think it's their best try. The film takes place in an Inuit tribe thousands of years ago, you can tell because there are wolly mamoths. The main advantage of this is we are far removed from any of the uncomfortable culture clashes seen in Peter Pan or Pocahontas. We are allowed to just sit back and enjoyed the adventure without being constantly reminded of generations of bigotry and genocide. The movie is a nice coming of age tale in which our hero, the youngest of three brothers, is assigned his spirit animal. He gets a bear and the emotion of love, and as you can imagine, he doesn't appreciate such a weak emotion being chosen to guide his life. Naturally, we all get to learn the true power of love by the end of the movie. It's a good movie, bolstered by Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas as two dumb moose brothers (or Bob and Doug McKenzie to you SCTV fans) The move does drag quite a bit though, and a lot of the jokes don't work (Joaquin Phoenix is not talented comedic actor), but the worst offender is the music. The songs in this movie are terrible, Phil Collins fails to replicate his success from Tarzan and instead gives us the bad, bland Phil Collins. Basically, it sounds like muzak versions of rejected Lion King songs. It brings the movie down from what was a pretty darn good movie to a simply adequete Disney film.
6/10
Toy Story 2
Toy Story 3
Brave
Fantasia 2000
Dinosaur
Bolt
Oliver & Company
and today's movie: Brother Bear.
According to Rotten Tomatoes, this is the second worst Disney movie, only beating Chicken Little (which I quite enjoyed). The main complaint is that this movie is mild and dull. I think they missed the part where a character dies pretty tragically in the first 20 minutes, then a relative goes out for revenge, kills a character's mom and ends up sort of dressed in her dead body. So yeah, nothing to see here. This movie also is Disney's third foray into telling a story with native american characters, and I think it's their best try. The film takes place in an Inuit tribe thousands of years ago, you can tell because there are wolly mamoths. The main advantage of this is we are far removed from any of the uncomfortable culture clashes seen in Peter Pan or Pocahontas. We are allowed to just sit back and enjoyed the adventure without being constantly reminded of generations of bigotry and genocide. The movie is a nice coming of age tale in which our hero, the youngest of three brothers, is assigned his spirit animal. He gets a bear and the emotion of love, and as you can imagine, he doesn't appreciate such a weak emotion being chosen to guide his life. Naturally, we all get to learn the true power of love by the end of the movie. It's a good movie, bolstered by Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas as two dumb moose brothers (or Bob and Doug McKenzie to you SCTV fans) The move does drag quite a bit though, and a lot of the jokes don't work (Joaquin Phoenix is not talented comedic actor), but the worst offender is the music. The songs in this movie are terrible, Phil Collins fails to replicate his success from Tarzan and instead gives us the bad, bland Phil Collins. Basically, it sounds like muzak versions of rejected Lion King songs. It brings the movie down from what was a pretty darn good movie to a simply adequete Disney film.
6/10
Friday, March 8, 2013
DMCP #57 - WALL-E
I love WALL-E! It's probably my favorite Pixar movie not named UP. To start with, this is a movie that makes Hello Dolly seem like a deep, soul shaking film. It sounds silly, and it gets played for laughs, but WALL-E the character is carrying the last memories of our culture, and I find it really endearing that he latches on to something so sweet. Wall-E is not just the last robot on earth, he is the last sentient being on the planet, the only one left to appreciate culture. I mean, I wish he liked Singin' in the Rain, but you could do worse than a young Michael Crawford. As far as the environmental message of the movie, I really think it's beside the point. The story is about someone who is all alone finding a family and a purpose, and the side story is about human beings learning to turn off their screens and interacting with each other and the world again. I'm not saying that the environmental message isn't there, I just think it's more of a plot device than a political statement. This movie also proves that,when Pixar is on its "A" game, they can tell amazing stories with almost no dialog. This movie also features my favorite Pixar short of all time, "Presto!" It's the funniest 6 minutes of physical comedy I have ever seen. So that's it for now, this movie is amazing. Watch it.
10/10
10/10
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
DMCP #56 - Meet the Robinsons
For every paint by numbers fairy tale Disney gets accused of making, there's a movie that reminds you just how crazy Disney can be. Think Fantasia, Alice in Wonderland or Meet the Robinsons. I'd try to explain the plot of Meet the Robinsons, but I don't want to write that much. Instead, I'd like to start with the moral lesson I learned: evil men don't wear bowler hats, men who wear bowler hats are evil because the hat is actually a sentient mind control robot hellbent on world domination, and she has access to a time machine. . . 'cuz evil bowler hats are girls. What's that you say? Sounds like this is a weird movie? You don't know the half of it, it also contains: Singing gangster frogs, meatball cannons, a squid butler, a superhero pizza delivery guy, a T-rex, and a boy named "Goob." It's wacky and silly and lets its freak flag fly. Meet the Robinsons shows the creativity that many Disney critics forget about. This movie is a celebration of creativity, imagination, and invention. It's a film built around a motto of Walt Disney himself: "Keep Moving Forward" Keep moving forward means learning from your past, but always looking to the future, always striving to be better than you were yesterday, and to never stop believing in your dreams. On the flip side we get to see, in a very comical way, what happens to a person who refuses to move forward in any way, and blames the world for all his problems. There are some nice themes running throughout the film, but it always stays firmly on the side of silly, silly fun. I think it's an overlooked little gem in the Disney canon, one that you should totally check out.
7/10
7/10
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