The Fellowship of the Ring: Book 1 by J.R.R. Tolkien
True story: The Lord of the Rings is actually 6 books, not 3. And I'm counting all 6 because I have that much to say, and because this is my fun project, and also I needed away to balance out the fact that I'm also reading the 900+ page A Dance With Dragons right now too. (side note: way less creepy sex happens in Middle Earth than in Westeros, unless you count the Very Secret Diaries of the Fellowship of the Ring, which I don't)
Anyway, Book 1 of FOTR for you movie fans out there covers the section from the beginning of the movie all the way to that part where the river turned into horses and swept away the Black Riders. It's not much time as far as the movie goes, but the film does skip a lot of stuff in order to get the plot moving along. In Fact, there is a 17 YEAR gap between Bilbo's 111th birthday party and Frodo actually leaving the shire. Because the time frame is considerably stretched out, Sam, Merry, and Pippin have much more to do with Frodo's plans. Merry and Pippin are much smarter in the book and enlist Samwise as a spy to find out what Frodo is up to so they can help him. The three friends conspire with another hobbit to aid Frodo on his journey. It was very nice to get to see Frodo's other companions treated as intelligent characters rather than just sidekicks. The other major omission from the movies is the journey through the old forest on the edge of the shire. This is where the hobbits are nearly killed by old man willow before being saved by Tom Bombadil.
When I read this book in high school, I Hated Tom Bombadil. I had already seen the first film and I wanted the book to get moving to the adventures. Instead we wait 17 years, then when we do finally hit the road, we have to take a detour with some crazy old guy in the woods who jumps and sings nonsense all day. Upon my second reading, Tom has grown on me considerably and I was more appreciative of the fact that Tom Bombadil is the oldest thing in Middle Earth, and one of the most powerful. In high school I had no time for the introduction of a character with that much power who never used it to punchkill all of the evil in Mordor. Instead he saves our heroes from Old Man Willow and the Barrow wights (a much cooler little side event) mostly through the power of silly songs. I guess I'm much more receptive to any character who has immense power and no interest in using it to do anything other than tend his forest and enjoy time with his wife. While Tom is a great literary character, he would have been impossible to include faithfully in a live action movie without losing 90% of the audience.
After the incidents in the old forest, things continue much as they did in the film for most of the rest of this book. Everything takes longer of course (if you thought there wasn't enough walking in the movies, you're in for a treat) but all the major events are the same. The biggest difference is that Arwen is not the one who finds Aragorn and company in the wilderness. Instead they are aided by Glorfindel, an elf so powerful he slew a Balrog in single combat during the first age (see The Silmarrillion or Wikipedia for details). I understand using Arwen in the movies since the books give us almost no female characters, but logically it makes much more sense for Elrond to send out the biggest baddest elves he can to find Frodo rather than send out his only child. (Nothing against Arwen, but she's never killed a balrog in single combat as far as I know)
Anyway, the book ends as Frodo passes out on the other side of the riverbank. Overall, this first book has some really great moments, and some unbearably boring moments. We start out with a great introduction to the world and then we are made to sit and wait through 30 pages of travel planning, which is less interesting than it sounds. Then we hit a spooky forest, but we have to stop and have tea and sing silly songs with some weird guy, list everything we eat and drink, sleep, dream, wake up, get ready to leave, realize it's rainy, go back inside and wait another day, then we finally leave only to get trapped in the one place Tom told you not to go....it's frustrating. Once we get to Bree, the story finally picks up momentum and really flows through the end of the first book.
Pacing/plot: 4/10
world/character building: 9/10
total: 7/10
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Sunday, July 7, 2013
I've never seen: The French Connection
So, I'd heard a lot about the French Connection. Somehow I was under the impression that this was a spy thriller. It's not. It's a hard boiled cop movie starring Gene Hackman and the always underrated Roy Schieder as his partner. The movie follows the two cops as they try to stop a major drug deal. Hackman's Popeye Doyle is a complicated antihero who makes you love and hate him at the same time. Unlike many cinematic rogue cops who seem to operate on a steady diet of cliché flakes, Hackman creates a fully developed human being. He's arrogant and damaged, trying to prove himself after a hunch of his got another cop killed. The guilt causes his self destructive behavior and recklessness that leads to one of the most intense car chases ever put on film. His actions at the end of the chase hint at a cop who has lost part of his humanity and foreshadows a brutal moment later in the film. The movie is inspired by real events and contains a gritty realism (the real kind, not the Zach Snyder kind) I wasn't expecting. If fact, I think if I had had a better idea of what this movie was about I would have liked it even more. Still, this movie is one of the best cop movies I have ever seen and it is a masterpiece.
Best scene - The car chase
Best moment - Gene Hackman's wave to the bad guy. It's the most badass little wave in movie history.
8/10
Best scene - The car chase
Best moment - Gene Hackman's wave to the bad guy. It's the most badass little wave in movie history.
8/10
Thursday, June 13, 2013
100 by 30 Book 14
The Demonata Series #1: Lord Loss by Darren Shan
I'm gonna be honest here. I was looking for a short book in the young adult section to help get me caught up, and they didn't have the first book in the Cirque Du Freak series, which Darren Shan also wrote. So I ended up with this book. If you want uneven character development, sloppy storytelling, and buckets of goo, this is the book for you. Given the hype this author had gotten in the past, I was shocked at how poorly this is written.
The book starts off with a protagonist who can't figure out what's messed up about chopping up dead rats and hiding them in his sister's towel. Then something really messed up happens and our young hero ends up in a psyche ward. Not that you could blame him. The shocking violence of the events that put him there give you a lot of sympathy for him. If the book had any commitment to real emotion, he'd stay in the mental hospital for years, if not forever. But nope, his long slow recovery from seeing a horrific triple homicide takes less than six months. That sounds about right for a 15 year-old to get over seeing his family sliced to pieces and used as puppets by demons...I was going to give a spoiler alert, but this book really isn't worth your time.
Anyway, a weird rich uncle brings him to live at his mansion in the country where he does charming things like mock this kids PTSD. Then our hero (his name is Grubbs) meets some annoying sidekick type named Bill-E and they waste 130 pages of a 220 page book not telling us what the heck is going on. They don't even mention the event that brought him here that much. It's like this kid just forgot that his family was slaughtered by demons. Then these two geniuses think that Grubbs' uncle is a werewolf (he's not) and they investigate that for awhile... Long story short, Grubbs family is cursed with Lyncanthropy (werewolf desease!) and the only way to cure it is to beat the Demon master Lord Loss at 5 games of chess. Yes, even when you add demons, magic, and sword fighting, chess is still incredibly boring. This book will make you wish you got knocked out by the Chess pieces in the first Harry Potter book so you don't have to sit through this whole thing.
3/10
I'm gonna be honest here. I was looking for a short book in the young adult section to help get me caught up, and they didn't have the first book in the Cirque Du Freak series, which Darren Shan also wrote. So I ended up with this book. If you want uneven character development, sloppy storytelling, and buckets of goo, this is the book for you. Given the hype this author had gotten in the past, I was shocked at how poorly this is written.
The book starts off with a protagonist who can't figure out what's messed up about chopping up dead rats and hiding them in his sister's towel. Then something really messed up happens and our young hero ends up in a psyche ward. Not that you could blame him. The shocking violence of the events that put him there give you a lot of sympathy for him. If the book had any commitment to real emotion, he'd stay in the mental hospital for years, if not forever. But nope, his long slow recovery from seeing a horrific triple homicide takes less than six months. That sounds about right for a 15 year-old to get over seeing his family sliced to pieces and used as puppets by demons...I was going to give a spoiler alert, but this book really isn't worth your time.
Anyway, a weird rich uncle brings him to live at his mansion in the country where he does charming things like mock this kids PTSD. Then our hero (his name is Grubbs) meets some annoying sidekick type named Bill-E and they waste 130 pages of a 220 page book not telling us what the heck is going on. They don't even mention the event that brought him here that much. It's like this kid just forgot that his family was slaughtered by demons. Then these two geniuses think that Grubbs' uncle is a werewolf (he's not) and they investigate that for awhile... Long story short, Grubbs family is cursed with Lyncanthropy (werewolf desease!) and the only way to cure it is to beat the Demon master Lord Loss at 5 games of chess. Yes, even when you add demons, magic, and sword fighting, chess is still incredibly boring. This book will make you wish you got knocked out by the Chess pieces in the first Harry Potter book so you don't have to sit through this whole thing.
3/10
Sunday, June 9, 2013
I've Never Seen: Chinatown
So, This whole book project is going a little slower than I anticipated, and I finished my Disney Project for the time being, so I wanted to find something else to write about in between books. I have tens of readers, and I want to start adding content at a more regular pace than I have been. So I looked at the list of classic movies I've never seen or don't remember and I thought, "yeah, that'll keep me occupied for a while."
The First movie in this ongoing series is Roman Polanski's Chinatown.
I gotta be honest, I mostly watched this because I heard that Rango basically lifted the whole plot of this movie, you know except for that whole part about sister/daughters... Anyway, this movie is pretty much a masterpiece. It's a fantastic film noir that shows Jack Nicholson at his most heroic (a low bar for a guy know for playing psychopaths, but still). It was actually really great to see him playing everything much more naturally that I am used to. It reminds me of the first time I saw the Godfather and I realized that Al Pacino and Subtlety were not mutually exclusive. We also get Faye Dunaway pre Mommy Dearest, and, painted eyebrows aside, she also gives a mostly brilliant performance. She does a fantastic job of building up the image of Noah Cross in our mind so we are picturing the worst until we meet him the first time. His genial nature throws everything off kilter until the depths of his depravity are revealed at the end of the movie. John Huston gives the kind of performance that makes you want to sleep with a gun under your pillow. If you haven't seen this yet, it is very much worth your time.
On a side note, I wanted to comment a little more on John Huston's Noah Cross. Being a child born in the 80's, my first exposure to Huston's work as an actor was his portrayal of Gandalf in the Rank and Bass Hobbit and Lord of the Rings Cartoons. It really is a whole new level of nightmare fuel to hear the voice of kindly wizard Gandalf say the things he says in Chinatown. Then you get to deal with the realization that we have a movie directed by a wanted sex offender, in which a character who is also a sex offender also happens to have the same voice as a beloved childhood character....so there's that. I guess what I'm saying is that watching Rango is a much less psychologically damaging experience, and they really do have the same basic plot. Except Rango has a dead armadillo spirit guide.
The First movie in this ongoing series is Roman Polanski's Chinatown.
I gotta be honest, I mostly watched this because I heard that Rango basically lifted the whole plot of this movie, you know except for that whole part about sister/daughters... Anyway, this movie is pretty much a masterpiece. It's a fantastic film noir that shows Jack Nicholson at his most heroic (a low bar for a guy know for playing psychopaths, but still). It was actually really great to see him playing everything much more naturally that I am used to. It reminds me of the first time I saw the Godfather and I realized that Al Pacino and Subtlety were not mutually exclusive. We also get Faye Dunaway pre Mommy Dearest, and, painted eyebrows aside, she also gives a mostly brilliant performance. She does a fantastic job of building up the image of Noah Cross in our mind so we are picturing the worst until we meet him the first time. His genial nature throws everything off kilter until the depths of his depravity are revealed at the end of the movie. John Huston gives the kind of performance that makes you want to sleep with a gun under your pillow. If you haven't seen this yet, it is very much worth your time.
On a side note, I wanted to comment a little more on John Huston's Noah Cross. Being a child born in the 80's, my first exposure to Huston's work as an actor was his portrayal of Gandalf in the Rank and Bass Hobbit and Lord of the Rings Cartoons. It really is a whole new level of nightmare fuel to hear the voice of kindly wizard Gandalf say the things he says in Chinatown. Then you get to deal with the realization that we have a movie directed by a wanted sex offender, in which a character who is also a sex offender also happens to have the same voice as a beloved childhood character....so there's that. I guess what I'm saying is that watching Rango is a much less psychologically damaging experience, and they really do have the same basic plot. Except Rango has a dead armadillo spirit guide.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
100 by 30 book 13
The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies By Graham Elwood and Chris Mancini and friends
Have you ever wanted to learn a little more about your favorite film genres and maybe get some good recommendations to add to your Netflix Cue? Maybe you'd also like that info to be delivered in witty little chapters written by a number of comedians who like movies the same way you do?
If so, then The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies is for you. It's short, sweet, and sometimes hilarious. But most importantly, it starts a great conversation about why we love the types of movies we love. Each chapter is written by a different comedian who is passionate about that genre. Jackie Kashian, Wisconsin native and Ranger of the Dork Forrest, tells us why Fantasy films are awesome. Greg Proops gives us the rundown on Private Eyes and dames in the Film Noir chapter. And Chris Mancini Acknowledges the greatness of Big Trouble in Little China in the Action/Adventure Chapter.
Each Chapter concludes with that author's personal top 10 films in the genre and their bottom 10 films...so you can send them hate mail for failing to see that greatness that is Rango. Seriously, Rango is an animated adaptation of Chinatown with a heavy dose of existentialism and mysticism disguise as a kids adventure movie. It's great and Neil T. Weakly can suck it! (or not. He's entitled to his own opinions)
The point is, if you like movies, you'll find something to like about this book. Or at least some good recommendations or reminders of classics you haven't gotten around to yet. Plus it's like $2 on the Kindle right now, so check it out.
8/10
Have you ever wanted to learn a little more about your favorite film genres and maybe get some good recommendations to add to your Netflix Cue? Maybe you'd also like that info to be delivered in witty little chapters written by a number of comedians who like movies the same way you do?
If so, then The Comedy Film Nerds Guide to Movies is for you. It's short, sweet, and sometimes hilarious. But most importantly, it starts a great conversation about why we love the types of movies we love. Each chapter is written by a different comedian who is passionate about that genre. Jackie Kashian, Wisconsin native and Ranger of the Dork Forrest, tells us why Fantasy films are awesome. Greg Proops gives us the rundown on Private Eyes and dames in the Film Noir chapter. And Chris Mancini Acknowledges the greatness of Big Trouble in Little China in the Action/Adventure Chapter.
Each Chapter concludes with that author's personal top 10 films in the genre and their bottom 10 films...so you can send them hate mail for failing to see that greatness that is Rango. Seriously, Rango is an animated adaptation of Chinatown with a heavy dose of existentialism and mysticism disguise as a kids adventure movie. It's great and Neil T. Weakly can suck it! (or not. He's entitled to his own opinions)
The point is, if you like movies, you'll find something to like about this book. Or at least some good recommendations or reminders of classics you haven't gotten around to yet. Plus it's like $2 on the Kindle right now, so check it out.
8/10
100 by 30 book 12
Packing for Mars by Mary Roach
I love Mary Roach. She writes science books for those of us who just want to know the important stuff, you know, like whether or not it is possible to propel yourself across a space station using your own farts. (spoiler, results inconclusive) In this book we get to learn all of the fun facts about space explorations with none of the math (or smells). She covers everything from early spaceflight with test animals all the way up to the preparations for a mars expedition scheduled for around 2030. We get to learn about the numerous challenges brought about by a lack of gravity, and She even goes into the challenges of "doing it" in outer space. And while there are no confirmed reports, her investigation into how people might deal with no-gravity hanky panky does give us insight into dolphin mating practices, and why you probably won't ever get to swim with a male dolphin....
Mary Roach always finds a way to make the science fun by covering the gross, sticky, and unpleasant sides that we never get to hear about from important medical journals (you know, if we actually read them). Science is about exploring, and strange things happen in the name of discovery that many research labs aren't usually excited to tell people about. You will never hear a PR rep for space research proudly declare "Hey guys! So we did a test to see how long people can go without bathing, because water is nonexistent in space and we needed to see if the astronauts could survive in close quarters for weeks at a time with no personal hygiene and guess what? Their underwear totally rotted away! Isn't that neat!" It's the kind of this you would need to study, but not the kind of thing taxpayers will be happy to fund. I highly recommend this book, if only to read the part about the toilet camera that astronauts have to use in order to "line up their shot."
8/10
I love Mary Roach. She writes science books for those of us who just want to know the important stuff, you know, like whether or not it is possible to propel yourself across a space station using your own farts. (spoiler, results inconclusive) In this book we get to learn all of the fun facts about space explorations with none of the math (or smells). She covers everything from early spaceflight with test animals all the way up to the preparations for a mars expedition scheduled for around 2030. We get to learn about the numerous challenges brought about by a lack of gravity, and She even goes into the challenges of "doing it" in outer space. And while there are no confirmed reports, her investigation into how people might deal with no-gravity hanky panky does give us insight into dolphin mating practices, and why you probably won't ever get to swim with a male dolphin....
Mary Roach always finds a way to make the science fun by covering the gross, sticky, and unpleasant sides that we never get to hear about from important medical journals (you know, if we actually read them). Science is about exploring, and strange things happen in the name of discovery that many research labs aren't usually excited to tell people about. You will never hear a PR rep for space research proudly declare "Hey guys! So we did a test to see how long people can go without bathing, because water is nonexistent in space and we needed to see if the astronauts could survive in close quarters for weeks at a time with no personal hygiene and guess what? Their underwear totally rotted away! Isn't that neat!" It's the kind of this you would need to study, but not the kind of thing taxpayers will be happy to fund. I highly recommend this book, if only to read the part about the toilet camera that astronauts have to use in order to "line up their shot."
8/10
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
100 by 30 Book 11
Party Crashers by Stephanie Bond
So, what better way to follow up an American masterpiece than with a romantic murder mystery about a former real estate agent turned shoe saleswoman at Nieman Marcus who's boyfriend is missing. Then she crashes into handsome millionaire BECK UNDERWOOD and the sparks fly.... so it's not really masterpiece material. Well the blog is called A Scattered Approach, so it wouldn't be any fun if I only read awesome books.
So, because I know you want to know, our heroine, Jolie Goodman, makes friends with the mysterious Carlotta from the dress department who talks her into crashing a party to find info about Jolie's missing boyfriend, Gary, who stole Jolie's car. Blah blah blah, something about shoes, blah blah blah, BECK UNDERWOOD IS SOOOO HANDSOME! Blah blah blah, they crash some more parties.
Halfway through the book, someone finally dies. Jolie finds Gary dead at her former boss' party and someone put the gun in her jacket. OH NO! she's so gonna go to pris- no, wait, BECK UNDERWOOD to the rescue! he hires her a lawyer, blah blah blah, flirty flirty, SEXYTIMES! (you know, for a book romance, timing the sex scene like two pages after your lead finds her boyfriend dead didn't really set the mood) Anyway, Bad guy gets caught-SHOCKING TWIST- and Jolie gets her old job back until BECK UNDERWOOD MILLIONAIRE PHILANTHRAPIST SEX MACHINE wisks her away to Costa Rica to live happily ever after.
Oddly enough, for all it's stupidity and cliches, I found it fairly readable....I mean it passed the time on the bus...so that's something. Also, it was a free book for my Kindle, which should explain a lot.
4/10
Oh, and it's still way better than Twilight.
So, what better way to follow up an American masterpiece than with a romantic murder mystery about a former real estate agent turned shoe saleswoman at Nieman Marcus who's boyfriend is missing. Then she crashes into handsome millionaire BECK UNDERWOOD and the sparks fly.... so it's not really masterpiece material. Well the blog is called A Scattered Approach, so it wouldn't be any fun if I only read awesome books.
So, because I know you want to know, our heroine, Jolie Goodman, makes friends with the mysterious Carlotta from the dress department who talks her into crashing a party to find info about Jolie's missing boyfriend, Gary, who stole Jolie's car. Blah blah blah, something about shoes, blah blah blah, BECK UNDERWOOD IS SOOOO HANDSOME! Blah blah blah, they crash some more parties.
Halfway through the book, someone finally dies. Jolie finds Gary dead at her former boss' party and someone put the gun in her jacket. OH NO! she's so gonna go to pris- no, wait, BECK UNDERWOOD to the rescue! he hires her a lawyer, blah blah blah, flirty flirty, SEXYTIMES! (you know, for a book romance, timing the sex scene like two pages after your lead finds her boyfriend dead didn't really set the mood) Anyway, Bad guy gets caught-SHOCKING TWIST- and Jolie gets her old job back until BECK UNDERWOOD MILLIONAIRE PHILANTHRAPIST SEX MACHINE wisks her away to Costa Rica to live happily ever after.
Oddly enough, for all it's stupidity and cliches, I found it fairly readable....I mean it passed the time on the bus...so that's something. Also, it was a free book for my Kindle, which should explain a lot.
4/10
Oh, and it's still way better than Twilight.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
100 by 30 book 10 - Slaughterhouse Five
Holy cow am I falling behind! In all fairness, Bioshock Infinite wasn't going to play itself, and going to Disney World has a way of cutting back on your reading time. Anyway, let the quest continue!
Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut
I thought it was about time that I read this American classic, and it did not dissappoint. It's like Douglas Adams if he wove eye witness accounts of American War atrocities into his genius Sci-fi comedies. This is one of those books that has so many big ideas that I don't really feel smart enough to talk about it after just one reading. But I will share what I learned anyway, then you all can fill me in on the giant themes I missed because I was laughing at his jokes about boobs and poop.
This is my first experience with Kurt Vonnegut, and I have to say, his writing style is different from anything I have ever read before. He breaks everything up into small chunks, usually not more than a paragraph or two, and it makes for very quick reading. Like eating a bag of snack food, you always want to read 'just one more'.
The book seems to be Kurt's own struggle with how to tell his experience at the fire bombing of Dresden at the end of WWII. He was in the city when American bombs killed over 130,000 Germans in one night. That's almost double the death toll from Hiroshima. I have to admit, even with a childhood of learning about WWII, I had never heard about what happened in Dresden. The magnitude of this event boggles the mind. 130,000 civilians murdered in a day. And then you realize that this pails in comparison to the total number of dead in all of WWII (about 50,000,000 soldier and civilians on all sides, including the holocaust) It's brain breaking the magnitude of evil committed in a 6 year span.
And so, we get a tale of this horror told through the eyes of eccentric Billy Pilgrim, who became unstuck in time. He was abducted by aliens that see time as just another demension. They can bounce back and forth to different parts of their lives. In this sense, death is meaningless because they are always alive somewhere. Like I said, This book is complex. We follow Billy has he bounces back and forth throughout his life; to his time in the war, then as a prisoner of war, then to after the war, we he gets married and becomes an optomatrist, and to his times as a zoo creature on Tralfmadore. This bouncing narrative creates a stew of different philosophies, ideas, and a healthy dose of absurd humor. I wasn't kidding about the boob and poop jokes. This is the kind of masterfull work that begs to be reread and Mr. Vonnegut has the rare ability to share huge ideas in easy to read chunks that make you want to start back at the beginning and reread it right away. Unfortunately, I still have 90 books to go, so rereading will have to wait. So it goes.
10/10
Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut
I thought it was about time that I read this American classic, and it did not dissappoint. It's like Douglas Adams if he wove eye witness accounts of American War atrocities into his genius Sci-fi comedies. This is one of those books that has so many big ideas that I don't really feel smart enough to talk about it after just one reading. But I will share what I learned anyway, then you all can fill me in on the giant themes I missed because I was laughing at his jokes about boobs and poop.
This is my first experience with Kurt Vonnegut, and I have to say, his writing style is different from anything I have ever read before. He breaks everything up into small chunks, usually not more than a paragraph or two, and it makes for very quick reading. Like eating a bag of snack food, you always want to read 'just one more'.
The book seems to be Kurt's own struggle with how to tell his experience at the fire bombing of Dresden at the end of WWII. He was in the city when American bombs killed over 130,000 Germans in one night. That's almost double the death toll from Hiroshima. I have to admit, even with a childhood of learning about WWII, I had never heard about what happened in Dresden. The magnitude of this event boggles the mind. 130,000 civilians murdered in a day. And then you realize that this pails in comparison to the total number of dead in all of WWII (about 50,000,000 soldier and civilians on all sides, including the holocaust) It's brain breaking the magnitude of evil committed in a 6 year span.
And so, we get a tale of this horror told through the eyes of eccentric Billy Pilgrim, who became unstuck in time. He was abducted by aliens that see time as just another demension. They can bounce back and forth to different parts of their lives. In this sense, death is meaningless because they are always alive somewhere. Like I said, This book is complex. We follow Billy has he bounces back and forth throughout his life; to his time in the war, then as a prisoner of war, then to after the war, we he gets married and becomes an optomatrist, and to his times as a zoo creature on Tralfmadore. This bouncing narrative creates a stew of different philosophies, ideas, and a healthy dose of absurd humor. I wasn't kidding about the boob and poop jokes. This is the kind of masterfull work that begs to be reread and Mr. Vonnegut has the rare ability to share huge ideas in easy to read chunks that make you want to start back at the beginning and reread it right away. Unfortunately, I still have 90 books to go, so rereading will have to wait. So it goes.
10/10
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Disney Movie recap/ ranking
Ok, Here it is, my personal ranking for every Disney and Pixar animated theatrical release. I figure since I went to the trouble of watching all of these, I get the right to judge them however I want on my blog read by tens of people. I've also given each movie an arbitrary award, for my own amusement. I hope you like it. I do....well, and least the movies from 43 on.
65 - Home on the Range: worst. movie. ever.
64 - Dinosaur: Best movie to cure insomnia/improve your self esteem as a writer
63 - Oliver & Company: worst animation in the whole Disney canon
62 - Bolt: Worst attempt at hip/sarcastic humor
61 - Cars 2: worst Cash Grab/worst sequel
60 - The Aristocats: Best demonstration of the hole Walt left when he died
59 - The Black Cauldron: Worst adaptation of a book
57 - Tie- Saludos Amigos/Three Caballeros: Most spanish in Disney movies
56 - Atlantis: The Lost Empire: Worst use of Michael J. Fox
55 - Make Mine Music: Worst Compilation feature
54 - The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad: worst story about a toad
53 - Brother Bear: Worst use of Phil Collins
52 - Fun and Fancy Free: creepiest use of puppets
51 - A Bug's Life: Most inconsistent tone
50 - The Fox and the Hound: Most confusing message
49 - Alice in Wonderland: Best Animation in a Terrible Movie
48 - Pinochio: Biggest disappointment
47 - Treasure Planet: Best movie ruined by Martin Short
46 - Rescuers Down Under: Most unfairly maligned by me before I saw the depths of horror that is Home on the Range
45 - The Rescuers: most unpleasant looking villians, like, lose your appetite unpleasant.
44 - The Great Mouse Detective: Best mediocre movie
43 - Bambi: Best movie you forgot the second half of
42 - The Sword in the Stone: Best Wizards Duel
41 - Hercules: Best James Woods
40 - Melody Time: Most pleasant Surprise
39 - Tarzan: Best use of Phil Collins
38 - Ratatouille: Best movie I wish I liked more
37 - Pocahontas: Best movie if you can block out what comes next in your history book
36 - Dumbo: Best movie with a drunk baby elephant
35 - Peter Pan: Most evil "good" character (Tinkerbell)
34 - Mulan: Best movie I overlooked due to my hatred of Donny Osmond
33 - Chicken Little: Best homage to King Kong
32 - Sleeping Beauty: Coolest Villain/Least interesting Title Character
31 - Toy Story 2: Best Sequel
30 - Meet the Robinsons: Best Dinosaur in a hat
29 - The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh: Best Ride in the Magic Kingdom
28 - Lady and the Tramp: Best Reference to depressing Russian play in a movie about puppies (The Lower Depths)
27 - The Little Mermaid: Most frustratingly realistic depiction of a dumb teenager
26 - The Emperor's New Groove: Best use of hip/sarcastic humor
25 - Wreck-it Ralph: Best homage to Ed Wynn
24 - Winnie the Pooh: Best Puns/word play
23 - Robin Hood: Best use of "On Wisconsin"
22 - Fantasia 2000: Best George Gershwin sequence
21 - Fantasia: Best movie that scared me when I was little
20 - Monsters, Inc: Cutest kid
19 - Lilo & Stitch: Best combination of space aliens and child services
18 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves: Scariest Vilain
17 - Brave: Most Nudity
16 - 101 Dalmations: Best scenic painting
15 - The Lion King: Best Opening Sequence
14 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Best songs to belt out in your car
13 - The Princess and the Frog: Best argument to continue making hand-drawn animated films
12 - Tangled: Best Hair
11 - Cars: Most Underrated
10 - Finding Nemo: Best Sidekick (Dory)
9 - Toy Story 3: Best Goodbye Scene
8 - The Incredibles: Best Midlife Crisis
7 - The Jungle Book: Best Bear (Baloo)
6 - Beauty and the Beast: Best Princess
5 - Wall-E: Most Genuine and Innocent Main Character
4 - Cinderella: Most often misinterpreted by spoiled brats
3 - Aladdin: Favorite Childhood movie
2 - Toy Story: Best Jokes
1 - Up: Best Movie
65 - Home on the Range: worst. movie. ever.
64 - Dinosaur: Best movie to cure insomnia/improve your self esteem as a writer
63 - Oliver & Company: worst animation in the whole Disney canon
62 - Bolt: Worst attempt at hip/sarcastic humor
61 - Cars 2: worst Cash Grab/worst sequel
60 - The Aristocats: Best demonstration of the hole Walt left when he died
59 - The Black Cauldron: Worst adaptation of a book
57 - Tie- Saludos Amigos/Three Caballeros: Most spanish in Disney movies
56 - Atlantis: The Lost Empire: Worst use of Michael J. Fox
55 - Make Mine Music: Worst Compilation feature
54 - The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad: worst story about a toad
53 - Brother Bear: Worst use of Phil Collins
52 - Fun and Fancy Free: creepiest use of puppets
51 - A Bug's Life: Most inconsistent tone
50 - The Fox and the Hound: Most confusing message
49 - Alice in Wonderland: Best Animation in a Terrible Movie
48 - Pinochio: Biggest disappointment
47 - Treasure Planet: Best movie ruined by Martin Short
46 - Rescuers Down Under: Most unfairly maligned by me before I saw the depths of horror that is Home on the Range
45 - The Rescuers: most unpleasant looking villians, like, lose your appetite unpleasant.
44 - The Great Mouse Detective: Best mediocre movie
43 - Bambi: Best movie you forgot the second half of
42 - The Sword in the Stone: Best Wizards Duel
41 - Hercules: Best James Woods
40 - Melody Time: Most pleasant Surprise
39 - Tarzan: Best use of Phil Collins
38 - Ratatouille: Best movie I wish I liked more
37 - Pocahontas: Best movie if you can block out what comes next in your history book
36 - Dumbo: Best movie with a drunk baby elephant
35 - Peter Pan: Most evil "good" character (Tinkerbell)
34 - Mulan: Best movie I overlooked due to my hatred of Donny Osmond
33 - Chicken Little: Best homage to King Kong
32 - Sleeping Beauty: Coolest Villain/Least interesting Title Character
31 - Toy Story 2: Best Sequel
30 - Meet the Robinsons: Best Dinosaur in a hat
29 - The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh: Best Ride in the Magic Kingdom
28 - Lady and the Tramp: Best Reference to depressing Russian play in a movie about puppies (The Lower Depths)
27 - The Little Mermaid: Most frustratingly realistic depiction of a dumb teenager
26 - The Emperor's New Groove: Best use of hip/sarcastic humor
25 - Wreck-it Ralph: Best homage to Ed Wynn
24 - Winnie the Pooh: Best Puns/word play
23 - Robin Hood: Best use of "On Wisconsin"
22 - Fantasia 2000: Best George Gershwin sequence
21 - Fantasia: Best movie that scared me when I was little
20 - Monsters, Inc: Cutest kid
19 - Lilo & Stitch: Best combination of space aliens and child services
18 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves: Scariest Vilain
17 - Brave: Most Nudity
16 - 101 Dalmations: Best scenic painting
15 - The Lion King: Best Opening Sequence
14 - The Hunchback of Notre Dame: Best songs to belt out in your car
13 - The Princess and the Frog: Best argument to continue making hand-drawn animated films
12 - Tangled: Best Hair
11 - Cars: Most Underrated
10 - Finding Nemo: Best Sidekick (Dory)
9 - Toy Story 3: Best Goodbye Scene
8 - The Incredibles: Best Midlife Crisis
7 - The Jungle Book: Best Bear (Baloo)
6 - Beauty and the Beast: Best Princess
5 - Wall-E: Most Genuine and Innocent Main Character
4 - Cinderella: Most often misinterpreted by spoiled brats
3 - Aladdin: Favorite Childhood movie
2 - Toy Story: Best Jokes
1 - Up: Best Movie
DMCP #65 - Brave
Ta-Dah!!! I did it! All 65 Disney/Pixar Thatrical releases. I will be writing more about the project as a whole, but let's finish by talking about Brave first.
I really like Brave. I know some people were down on it, but we got a couple of things you don't see often. First, we have a movie where both parents of our main Character are alive and well. Second, the movie is about a mother/daughter relationship, and neither of them are evil. You can tell that co-director Brenda Chapman was drawing from very personal experience. I also watched it with my own mother who happens to have a daughter known to be stubborn from time to time, and judging from the amount of crying going on, I'm assuming it resonated with mothers and daughters everywhere. It's a great tale of two people who love each other, but can't seem to stop hurting each other. We get to see through the course of the film that part of the reason they can't get along is that they are so similar. Queen Eleanor knows what it takes to run a kingdom and carries the burdens of her responsibilities while Merida sees this and is trying to run away from responsibilities that will soon be hers. It's like Merida actively doesn't want to grow up to be her mother. Can you believe that kids don't always want to be their parents when they grow up?! The movie handles this very well, and it takes a lot of poor decisions before they can mend their bond. It's really very heartfelt and sweet.
Amid this very personal tale, we get to have a lot of fun with the male characters. The leaders of the Scotish clans are brash, loud, and ridiculous. They are voiced by Billy Connolity, Craig Ferguson, Hagrid, and Dr. Owen Hunt from Grey's Anatomy. I thought it was an interesting turn where the most realistic characters were female and the men got to be walking stereotypes for a change. The men are big, dumb, and love eating and fighting and showing their butts to people. (side note, this movie has more naked man butt than Magic Mike did. Naked, pale, Scottish old Man-butt.) I like that the men are drawn overly broad because it pays off in a big way during one of Merida's big character moments. While the clans have decided to shout and threaten war with each other, Merida needs to find a way to get them to work together. She speaks about how they are a new country, whose stories are not yet legend, but whose aliances were born of friendship and fighting together to drive out their common foe. Sound familiar? It's a call to reject the partisan ideas that have driven people apart and to mend the bonds that made us great. I like that she deliver's this to broadly drawn characters because every one of them is being a ridiculous man-baby. It reminds us that no matter what side of the political spectrum we fall on, when we only focus on what divides us and refuse to seek common ground, no one is in the right and everyone is being stupid.
On a final note, this movie contains some of the most breathtaking animation I've ever seen. Pixar continues to raise the bar for what is possible with computer animation. Merida's hair alone makes the movie a must see, but we also get gorgeous Scotish countryside and thrilling action set pieces...and man-butt.
8/10
I really like Brave. I know some people were down on it, but we got a couple of things you don't see often. First, we have a movie where both parents of our main Character are alive and well. Second, the movie is about a mother/daughter relationship, and neither of them are evil. You can tell that co-director Brenda Chapman was drawing from very personal experience. I also watched it with my own mother who happens to have a daughter known to be stubborn from time to time, and judging from the amount of crying going on, I'm assuming it resonated with mothers and daughters everywhere. It's a great tale of two people who love each other, but can't seem to stop hurting each other. We get to see through the course of the film that part of the reason they can't get along is that they are so similar. Queen Eleanor knows what it takes to run a kingdom and carries the burdens of her responsibilities while Merida sees this and is trying to run away from responsibilities that will soon be hers. It's like Merida actively doesn't want to grow up to be her mother. Can you believe that kids don't always want to be their parents when they grow up?! The movie handles this very well, and it takes a lot of poor decisions before they can mend their bond. It's really very heartfelt and sweet.
Amid this very personal tale, we get to have a lot of fun with the male characters. The leaders of the Scotish clans are brash, loud, and ridiculous. They are voiced by Billy Connolity, Craig Ferguson, Hagrid, and Dr. Owen Hunt from Grey's Anatomy. I thought it was an interesting turn where the most realistic characters were female and the men got to be walking stereotypes for a change. The men are big, dumb, and love eating and fighting and showing their butts to people. (side note, this movie has more naked man butt than Magic Mike did. Naked, pale, Scottish old Man-butt.) I like that the men are drawn overly broad because it pays off in a big way during one of Merida's big character moments. While the clans have decided to shout and threaten war with each other, Merida needs to find a way to get them to work together. She speaks about how they are a new country, whose stories are not yet legend, but whose aliances were born of friendship and fighting together to drive out their common foe. Sound familiar? It's a call to reject the partisan ideas that have driven people apart and to mend the bonds that made us great. I like that she deliver's this to broadly drawn characters because every one of them is being a ridiculous man-baby. It reminds us that no matter what side of the political spectrum we fall on, when we only focus on what divides us and refuse to seek common ground, no one is in the right and everyone is being stupid.
On a final note, this movie contains some of the most breathtaking animation I've ever seen. Pixar continues to raise the bar for what is possible with computer animation. Merida's hair alone makes the movie a must see, but we also get gorgeous Scotish countryside and thrilling action set pieces...and man-butt.
8/10
Friday, April 19, 2013
DMCP # 64 - Toy Story 3
I'm going to go ahead and assume everyone has seen all the Toy Story movies as I talk about this one. Just a heads up.
So I've seen this movie 4-5 times now, and I've even intended to write about it before now. But I kept putting it off because it was a daunting task. This movie is packed with so many different themes that you could write several books about it, which is a lot to say about an animated movie about anthropomorphic toys. Seeing as I just reported on Toy Story 2, I'm gonna start with the continued existential crisis of toys. The movie opens with a brilliant view of playtime as it is experienced by Andy and the toys, filled with action, adventure, and lots of explosions. It is breathtaking. We then get to see another montage of our heroes in their heyday, having countless adventures with Andy. It sets up the stark contrast when we cut to the present, and the few surviving toys are making one last ditch attempt at being played with. You see the desperate loneliness as Woody and his friends realize that Andy and, by extension, the world as moved on and forgotten them. We have a group of characters facing the stark reality of retirement, of being told that they have no use anymore and must adjourn to the nursing home-I mean- attic. The fears Woody struggled with in the second movie have come to pass and he is trying to rally the troops that it won't be so bad, with little success.
All of the Toy Story movies use the fleeting nature of a toys existence as a meditation on our own morality, but the theme of impending death is almost oppressive in this one. The toys are forgotten, almost thrown away, tortured and imprisoned by a sadistic bear, and nearly incinerated. I think what makes this movie so special though is that none of this is needless. The ultimate message of the movie, I believe, is one of learning to let go and move on. The toys have reached the end of their relationship with Andy, but they can see no future without him. When they decide to go to the daycare center, they are making the choice almost out of spite. They just want someone, anyone to play with them. They want to move on, but they aren't really ready yet, and Woody never will be. Some people questioned how dark the movie gets during the landfill sequence, thinking it was unnecessarily bleak. I think it was as dark as it needed to be. Woody and the toys needed to come to an acceptance over their own mortality before they could move on to a new life. It important to note that Woody chooses to get into the box to live with Bonny at the end of the movie. Woody, who spent the whole movie fighting and struggling to bring everyone back to Andy, ultimately decides to leave Andy for a better life. After facing death with his friends, he is finally able to recognize that they deserve better than a life in the attic. He sees that they have value without Andy, and makes the choice to find them a new home where they will be happy and loved again. Because Woody's devotion is so strong, it takes a life changing act for him to change his ways. The movie has to get that dark in order to earn the ending that brought so many people to tears. The toys have a wonderful new home and a new lease on life, and Andy goes to college without fear of being picked on for bringing a stuffed cowboy with him. As someone who lived in a college dorm, I can tell you, the right choice was made.
You cannot complete any discussion of Toy Story 3 without at least mentioning Lotso. This sadistic, strawberry-scented, sociopath is one of Disney's greatest villains. He's a vision of where Woody was headed during the first movie. Although they eventually dealt with it in different ways, both Woody and Lotso were faced with the reality of being replaced, and neither of them took it well. If Woody had succeeded in knocking Buzz behind the desk in the first movie instead of out the window, we might see a world where Woody's increasing jealousy consumed him the way it does Lotso. Fortunately, Woody was given a chance to see the error of his ways and learn that he was loved all along. Lotso never had that chance. He truly loved Daisy, and, as far as he's concerned, she betrayed him and threw him to the curb. His pain went so deep that it broke him. The rest of his actions from that moment stem from his pain and fear of being alone. His fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the Sunnyside daycare center where Lotso uses his twisted beliefs to enslave the entire facility. His evil has become so corrupted that even the idea of goodness causes him pain. This is why, even after Woody saves him, he still tries to have them killed. Woody's faith in Andy only further reminds Lotso of what he doesn't have and it makes him furious. Woody isn't consistent with the dark, cold world Lotso believes in, and if Woody is right, that means Lotso has been living a lie, and this is not acceptable. Therefore, Woody must die. It's the kind of twisted thinking you see in extremists of any kind. People who have developed a world view so strict and so narrow that any contradictions must be destroyed and descension crushed. What is so brilliant about Lotso's portrayal in the movie, is that we can still relate to him. We can identify with his pain, and his story becomes a cautionary tale more than just another story of a mad tyrant.
All of this happens and I haven't even mentioned that the movie is a take on a classic prison movie, complete with double crosses, an elaborate breakout plan, and the lifer who finally breaks, in this instance, he's an old fisher price play phone. It's a complete masterpiece, and Mr. Potato head gives us one of the greatest bits of physical comedy I have ever seen. The movie is equal parts touching, funny, and thrilling and it stands as one of the very best in the Pixar/Disney cannon.
10/10
On a side note. I wanted to recommend another take on this movie for anyone interested. Critic Tyler Smith of http://battleshippretension.com/ has is own podcast, "More Than One Lesson" which is an amazing podcast that discusses movies from a Christian perspective. I highly recommend checking out his episode about Toy Story 3, it's truly brilliant, no matter what your beliefs might be. So go to iTunes and check that out too.
So I've seen this movie 4-5 times now, and I've even intended to write about it before now. But I kept putting it off because it was a daunting task. This movie is packed with so many different themes that you could write several books about it, which is a lot to say about an animated movie about anthropomorphic toys. Seeing as I just reported on Toy Story 2, I'm gonna start with the continued existential crisis of toys. The movie opens with a brilliant view of playtime as it is experienced by Andy and the toys, filled with action, adventure, and lots of explosions. It is breathtaking. We then get to see another montage of our heroes in their heyday, having countless adventures with Andy. It sets up the stark contrast when we cut to the present, and the few surviving toys are making one last ditch attempt at being played with. You see the desperate loneliness as Woody and his friends realize that Andy and, by extension, the world as moved on and forgotten them. We have a group of characters facing the stark reality of retirement, of being told that they have no use anymore and must adjourn to the nursing home-I mean- attic. The fears Woody struggled with in the second movie have come to pass and he is trying to rally the troops that it won't be so bad, with little success.
All of the Toy Story movies use the fleeting nature of a toys existence as a meditation on our own morality, but the theme of impending death is almost oppressive in this one. The toys are forgotten, almost thrown away, tortured and imprisoned by a sadistic bear, and nearly incinerated. I think what makes this movie so special though is that none of this is needless. The ultimate message of the movie, I believe, is one of learning to let go and move on. The toys have reached the end of their relationship with Andy, but they can see no future without him. When they decide to go to the daycare center, they are making the choice almost out of spite. They just want someone, anyone to play with them. They want to move on, but they aren't really ready yet, and Woody never will be. Some people questioned how dark the movie gets during the landfill sequence, thinking it was unnecessarily bleak. I think it was as dark as it needed to be. Woody and the toys needed to come to an acceptance over their own mortality before they could move on to a new life. It important to note that Woody chooses to get into the box to live with Bonny at the end of the movie. Woody, who spent the whole movie fighting and struggling to bring everyone back to Andy, ultimately decides to leave Andy for a better life. After facing death with his friends, he is finally able to recognize that they deserve better than a life in the attic. He sees that they have value without Andy, and makes the choice to find them a new home where they will be happy and loved again. Because Woody's devotion is so strong, it takes a life changing act for him to change his ways. The movie has to get that dark in order to earn the ending that brought so many people to tears. The toys have a wonderful new home and a new lease on life, and Andy goes to college without fear of being picked on for bringing a stuffed cowboy with him. As someone who lived in a college dorm, I can tell you, the right choice was made.
You cannot complete any discussion of Toy Story 3 without at least mentioning Lotso. This sadistic, strawberry-scented, sociopath is one of Disney's greatest villains. He's a vision of where Woody was headed during the first movie. Although they eventually dealt with it in different ways, both Woody and Lotso were faced with the reality of being replaced, and neither of them took it well. If Woody had succeeded in knocking Buzz behind the desk in the first movie instead of out the window, we might see a world where Woody's increasing jealousy consumed him the way it does Lotso. Fortunately, Woody was given a chance to see the error of his ways and learn that he was loved all along. Lotso never had that chance. He truly loved Daisy, and, as far as he's concerned, she betrayed him and threw him to the curb. His pain went so deep that it broke him. The rest of his actions from that moment stem from his pain and fear of being alone. His fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the Sunnyside daycare center where Lotso uses his twisted beliefs to enslave the entire facility. His evil has become so corrupted that even the idea of goodness causes him pain. This is why, even after Woody saves him, he still tries to have them killed. Woody's faith in Andy only further reminds Lotso of what he doesn't have and it makes him furious. Woody isn't consistent with the dark, cold world Lotso believes in, and if Woody is right, that means Lotso has been living a lie, and this is not acceptable. Therefore, Woody must die. It's the kind of twisted thinking you see in extremists of any kind. People who have developed a world view so strict and so narrow that any contradictions must be destroyed and descension crushed. What is so brilliant about Lotso's portrayal in the movie, is that we can still relate to him. We can identify with his pain, and his story becomes a cautionary tale more than just another story of a mad tyrant.
All of this happens and I haven't even mentioned that the movie is a take on a classic prison movie, complete with double crosses, an elaborate breakout plan, and the lifer who finally breaks, in this instance, he's an old fisher price play phone. It's a complete masterpiece, and Mr. Potato head gives us one of the greatest bits of physical comedy I have ever seen. The movie is equal parts touching, funny, and thrilling and it stands as one of the very best in the Pixar/Disney cannon.
10/10
On a side note. I wanted to recommend another take on this movie for anyone interested. Critic Tyler Smith of http://battleshippretension.com/ has is own podcast, "More Than One Lesson" which is an amazing podcast that discusses movies from a Christian perspective. I highly recommend checking out his episode about Toy Story 3, it's truly brilliant, no matter what your beliefs might be. So go to iTunes and check that out too.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
DMCP #63 - Toy Story 2
Toy Story 2 is about the mid-life crisis of toys. Specifically, Woody has an accident that gets him put on the shelf. For a toy that doesn't age, it's a reminder that he won't necessarily last forever. He begins to have nightmares that he will be replaced, discarded and, ultimately forgotten. It is during this vulnerable time that he is stolen by Newman from Seinfeld. It turns out that Woody is actually a rare collectible toy from the 1950s. Woody suddenly finds a way out of his life of being forgotten. He can try to return to his family and make the most of the time he has left, or he can live a life behind glass in a museum, adored by many, but never being played with again. The movie plays with the ideas of how we deal with the direction life brings us, and if we should abandon it all for a chance at a glamorous, but less fulfilling life. Normally, a story about a midlife crisis involves a male character making an outrageous purchase or Kevin Spacey narrating his sad bathroom habits to us. Instead, we get a moving story of a character tempted to leave behind everything he loves because he fears his own mortality. He is worried about becoming obsolete, and his fears are compounded by the story of Jessie the cowgirl, who has already suffered this fate. Jessie's story pushes Woody to try to avoid her fate by leaving his life behind on his own terms. I think most if not all people have at least daydreamed about leaving everything behind and beginning a new life, but the movie demonstrates that this is only a hollow sort of life. Given the subject matter, this movie is relatively lacking in laughs. Buzz, Ham, Mr. Potato Head, and Rex to their best on the rescue mission, but the jokes are more cute that laugh out loud funny. All in all though, this is a pretty good movie.
7/10
7/10
Sunday, April 7, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 9
Every Day is an Atheist Holiday! by Penn Jillette
Despite the title, the latest memoir by one half of Penn & Teller is more about his latest life adventures than a treatise on his lack of religion. It's funny, heartfelt, and contains the same measure of brilliance and self-deprecation that have made him such an engaging entertainer over the last 35 years. We get stories about missing his chance to meet Johnny Carson, the time some jackass tried to extort him, and his dislike of Clay Aiken on Celebrity Aprentice. He writes in a heartfelt, off the cuff sort of way, and you can see how his passions and pet peeves make him the unintentional jerk in many situations, and all for our benefit. My favorite example is the story of how he and his wife used IVF to concieve their first child. In the um *ready room*, the "inspirational images" he gets are seductive posters of three famous models/actresses, each of which he has made cry in public. The situation gets worse from there, but you can read the book for more details.
When Penn does talk about his family and atheism, he does so on a very personal level. He doesn't try to justify his beliefs to the whole world, but merely to show how they have given him a perspective and moral code to live by. In short, the universe is incredible and amazing without the presence of a deity. This world is enough. Morality is completely separate from religion. In various places, the bible condones rape, murder, slavery, abuse, geonocide, and religious intolerance. People have decided that these things are immoral without the help of a supreme being. To put it another way, when asked, "without god, what's to stop you from raping and murdering anyone you want?", He responds, "I have already raped and murdered everyone I want to, and that number is zero." For many atheists, true morality isn't refraining from causing harm because you might get caught, but refraining from harming others because it's the right thing to do. Morality is how we behave when we think no one is looking. And has far as a fear of death goes, his response is November 9, 1909. If you didn't exist then, and it doesn't scare you, then not existing 100 years from now shouldn't scare you either.
If nothing else, he does a good job of demystifying atheism for people who've never met an atheist and think they all want to just cause pain and choas wherever they go. In fact, most of the atheists I've met are exceedingly gentle, kind hearted souls. Ok, maybe not souls. But people, and good people should always be treasured, no matter what beliefs got them there. Besides, it's always good to be reminded that, no matter what your most cherished beliefs are, there is someone out there who thinks that they are the dumbest thing they have ever heard.
7/10
Despite the title, the latest memoir by one half of Penn & Teller is more about his latest life adventures than a treatise on his lack of religion. It's funny, heartfelt, and contains the same measure of brilliance and self-deprecation that have made him such an engaging entertainer over the last 35 years. We get stories about missing his chance to meet Johnny Carson, the time some jackass tried to extort him, and his dislike of Clay Aiken on Celebrity Aprentice. He writes in a heartfelt, off the cuff sort of way, and you can see how his passions and pet peeves make him the unintentional jerk in many situations, and all for our benefit. My favorite example is the story of how he and his wife used IVF to concieve their first child. In the um *ready room*, the "inspirational images" he gets are seductive posters of three famous models/actresses, each of which he has made cry in public. The situation gets worse from there, but you can read the book for more details.
When Penn does talk about his family and atheism, he does so on a very personal level. He doesn't try to justify his beliefs to the whole world, but merely to show how they have given him a perspective and moral code to live by. In short, the universe is incredible and amazing without the presence of a deity. This world is enough. Morality is completely separate from religion. In various places, the bible condones rape, murder, slavery, abuse, geonocide, and religious intolerance. People have decided that these things are immoral without the help of a supreme being. To put it another way, when asked, "without god, what's to stop you from raping and murdering anyone you want?", He responds, "I have already raped and murdered everyone I want to, and that number is zero." For many atheists, true morality isn't refraining from causing harm because you might get caught, but refraining from harming others because it's the right thing to do. Morality is how we behave when we think no one is looking. And has far as a fear of death goes, his response is November 9, 1909. If you didn't exist then, and it doesn't scare you, then not existing 100 years from now shouldn't scare you either.
If nothing else, he does a good job of demystifying atheism for people who've never met an atheist and think they all want to just cause pain and choas wherever they go. In fact, most of the atheists I've met are exceedingly gentle, kind hearted souls. Ok, maybe not souls. But people, and good people should always be treasured, no matter what beliefs got them there. Besides, it's always good to be reminded that, no matter what your most cherished beliefs are, there is someone out there who thinks that they are the dumbest thing they have ever heard.
7/10
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 8*
Oh my an asterisk! What does it mean?! Well, I read a book, and I read a shorter one. I'll start with the short one first:
If I Ran the Dog Show by Tish Rabe - This was an Easter gift from my mother. It start the Cat in the Hat and Thing 1 & 2 as the run a dog show. Why did I get this? Because a) March was national book reading month, b) my dog is very smart (sometimes) c) Dr. Seuess + Dogs is always awesome, and d) so is my mom.
The idea was to read the book to my dog. He didn't like it very much. He couldn't eat it, snuggle it, or chase it, so he decided to see what the food lady was up to instead. Anyway, this is the actual book that counts
THE TAO OF POOH by Benjamin Hoff
This is a primer guide to Taoism as seen through the example of Winnie the Pooh. It's a fun, relatively light read, and I enjoyed it, but the conversations between the author and the characters gets a bit confused and forced at times. For those of you who don't know anything about taoism, the basic idea is to live your life by living in the present and in harmony with yourself and the world around you. In a nutshell: just be. It's about not trying to fit square pegs into round holes. The author uses Pooh as an example of the basic idea of the taoist philosophy. I really identified with the idea of learning not to struggle through life. I have learned this lesson repeatedly, but it's usually after working myself into a frenzy before I realize the answer was right in front of me, and it wasn't what I thought. It's really great advice and I'd recommend it to anyone really struggling with a problem. So if you find yourself banging your head against a wall over a situation or problem, I recommend stepping back for a bit and waiting to see if the solution comes to you. I'm not saying it works for everything, but it is how I found my wife, my job, our home, and our dog....... and my playstation. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
7/10
If I Ran the Dog Show by Tish Rabe - This was an Easter gift from my mother. It start the Cat in the Hat and Thing 1 & 2 as the run a dog show. Why did I get this? Because a) March was national book reading month, b) my dog is very smart (sometimes) c) Dr. Seuess + Dogs is always awesome, and d) so is my mom.
The idea was to read the book to my dog. He didn't like it very much. He couldn't eat it, snuggle it, or chase it, so he decided to see what the food lady was up to instead. Anyway, this is the actual book that counts
THE TAO OF POOH by Benjamin Hoff
This is a primer guide to Taoism as seen through the example of Winnie the Pooh. It's a fun, relatively light read, and I enjoyed it, but the conversations between the author and the characters gets a bit confused and forced at times. For those of you who don't know anything about taoism, the basic idea is to live your life by living in the present and in harmony with yourself and the world around you. In a nutshell: just be. It's about not trying to fit square pegs into round holes. The author uses Pooh as an example of the basic idea of the taoist philosophy. I really identified with the idea of learning not to struggle through life. I have learned this lesson repeatedly, but it's usually after working myself into a frenzy before I realize the answer was right in front of me, and it wasn't what I thought. It's really great advice and I'd recommend it to anyone really struggling with a problem. So if you find yourself banging your head against a wall over a situation or problem, I recommend stepping back for a bit and waiting to see if the solution comes to you. I'm not saying it works for everything, but it is how I found my wife, my job, our home, and our dog....... and my playstation. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
7/10
Monday, March 25, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 7
CANDY GIRL: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper by Diablo Cody
So, remember when JUNO came out and everyone was all like, "Dude, a stripper wrote this movie!" and other people were all like, "See, strippers are people too!" Yeah, turns out that wasn't really the case. I mean, Diablo Cody did spend a year in her mid-twenties working in the sex industry, but she wasn't a lifer. As you learn in this book, she started stripping almost as a dare to herself, after 24 years of well behaved, catholic upbringing. This book reads more as a quarter-life crisis. The high point of youth is threatening to slide into the necessity of becoming a responsible adult and Diablo Cody is looking to find something wild to do while she still has the excuse of being young.
And boy does she throw her heart and soul into it. This book is funny, thoughtful, gross, and very well-written. Diablo takes us on an adventure through the darkest corners of the Twin Cities adult scene, and we willingly go along for the ride because we know she turns out all right in the end. Because she is doing this almost as a cultural experiment, we get to see all sides of this lifestyle both as participant and voyeur. She casually tells anectdotes of events that will turn your stomach, but you also see how the things that would shock someone who's never been to a strip club become positively boring and mundane once you become a part of the scene. And it doesn't come across as a coping mechanism, you really do start to understand how the business of titilation can become boring. Even to the patrons. At one point, a stripper scolds a disinterested crowd with, "Hello! I'm naked up here!" Like working in a cubical, but with more glitter and worse lighting.
I thought the book did a nice job of aknowledging some of the true awfulness ths type of work inspires, and Diablo is sure to point out the the experiences of the performers ranged from women who seem to really love the work and enjoy being successful at it, to the kinds of life experiences most associated with daytime talk shows and anything on the Lifetime network. The best thing about this book is that Diablo Cody rarely judges anyone. If she is going through her "giving peep-shows to strangers" phase, she's fairly accepting of the people she meets with much stranger disires and fantasies. By not judging the industry as a whole, you do get to see all of the moral ambiguity and complexity the world has to offer. This book is short and strikes the kind of care-free tone that will get you through the ooky bits. I would recommend it, but only if your the type of person who also likes something like South Park, because your funny bone and gag reflex will both get a workout.
8/10
So, remember when JUNO came out and everyone was all like, "Dude, a stripper wrote this movie!" and other people were all like, "See, strippers are people too!" Yeah, turns out that wasn't really the case. I mean, Diablo Cody did spend a year in her mid-twenties working in the sex industry, but she wasn't a lifer. As you learn in this book, she started stripping almost as a dare to herself, after 24 years of well behaved, catholic upbringing. This book reads more as a quarter-life crisis. The high point of youth is threatening to slide into the necessity of becoming a responsible adult and Diablo Cody is looking to find something wild to do while she still has the excuse of being young.
And boy does she throw her heart and soul into it. This book is funny, thoughtful, gross, and very well-written. Diablo takes us on an adventure through the darkest corners of the Twin Cities adult scene, and we willingly go along for the ride because we know she turns out all right in the end. Because she is doing this almost as a cultural experiment, we get to see all sides of this lifestyle both as participant and voyeur. She casually tells anectdotes of events that will turn your stomach, but you also see how the things that would shock someone who's never been to a strip club become positively boring and mundane once you become a part of the scene. And it doesn't come across as a coping mechanism, you really do start to understand how the business of titilation can become boring. Even to the patrons. At one point, a stripper scolds a disinterested crowd with, "Hello! I'm naked up here!" Like working in a cubical, but with more glitter and worse lighting.
I thought the book did a nice job of aknowledging some of the true awfulness ths type of work inspires, and Diablo is sure to point out the the experiences of the performers ranged from women who seem to really love the work and enjoy being successful at it, to the kinds of life experiences most associated with daytime talk shows and anything on the Lifetime network. The best thing about this book is that Diablo Cody rarely judges anyone. If she is going through her "giving peep-shows to strangers" phase, she's fairly accepting of the people she meets with much stranger disires and fantasies. By not judging the industry as a whole, you do get to see all of the moral ambiguity and complexity the world has to offer. This book is short and strikes the kind of care-free tone that will get you through the ooky bits. I would recommend it, but only if your the type of person who also likes something like South Park, because your funny bone and gag reflex will both get a workout.
8/10
Thursday, March 21, 2013
DMCP # 62 - Dinosaur
Ok, I'm only gonna spend as much time on this as the screenwriters did on the script for this movie. Ooops, I'm over my time already. Quick rundown, this movie is bland with kind of cool visuals, but nothing of note in the character department. The lead character is voiced by the guy from Cutting Edge, and that should tell you everything you need to know. If you want a scarier dinosaur movie, watch Jurassic Park. If you want a better kids dinosaur movie, watch The Land Before Time. If you want to watch a better movie about dinosaurs slowly dying, watch the dinosaur part in Fantsia.
3/10
That said, I've now watched every theatrically released Disney animated feature, and I just have a few Pixar movies left to finish the project. Woohoo!
3/10
That said, I've now watched every theatrically released Disney animated feature, and I just have a few Pixar movies left to finish the project. Woohoo!
Monday, March 18, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 6
Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore
This is the final book in Kristin Cashore's 7 Kingdoms trilogy. It's a young adult fantasy series that inludes the books GRACELING, FIRE, and today's entry, BITTERBLUE. Each of the 3 books follows a young female protagonist learning to grow up in the dangerous world around her. GRACELING introduces us to the world of the 7 kingdoms where some people are born with special abilities called graces. In the first book, we meet Katsa, a young girl with the grace of killing. Book two, FIRE, introduces us to a strange land beyond the 7 Kingdoms, The Dells. Instead of graces, the Dells is a land of monsters, brightly colored animals that have special power over other creatures. It is there we meet FIRE, the last human monster in the world. Why am I bringing this up? Because while the first two books give us heroines with fantastic powers, the third book gives us our first (relatively) normal heroine, Queen Bitterblue. Before I get into spoilers, just know that all three books are fantastic, and you should go read them. They're even better than the Hunger Games.
(massive spoilers ahead for Graceling and Fire!!!)
At age 18, Bitterblue is tasked with finding a way to help her kingdom recover from 35 years of atrocities committed by her father, who had the Grace of telling lies that people beleved, meaning he has the power to control anyone who hears him. He can stab your mother in front of you and tell you she just committed suicide and you will believe him. That's about the nicest thing he ever did. So the book takes place 8 years after he is gone (I won't tell you how) and Bitterblue is starting to realize that the recovery in her kingdom is not going as well as she has been led to believe. Secrets and coverups and mysteries are everywhere, and the book delves into questions of how someone copes with awakening to the realization that horrible things have been done to them, or that they have been the perpetrators of horrific acts. The main characters are complex and well thought out, and, depsite the considerable drop in bloodshed compared to the first two books, this book has a much faster pace to it. You want to know the truth as bad at Bitterblue does, and you share her horror as you find out it was even worse than you can imagine. These books remind me of a young adult version of the Game of Thrones series, but with happy endings. Just as many horrific events take place, but it is mostly alluded too here (the evicerations and rape happen away from the main story). The geography is also much easier to figure out, which means you can enjoy the story without an atlas.
There are two themes that run through all three books. The first is the presense of a well-rounded female character. We have three main characters throughout these books and all three of them are extremely complex. Bitterblue begins the story in a bit of a daze, her advisors keep her doing the most boring paperwork they can find so that she doesn't learn about the intricasies of her Kingdom. It's not a flattering start. We have an incurious woman who doesn't take much of an interest in rulling her kingdom because it's 'boring.' Through the course of the book though, we get to see her transformation into a powerful, but compassionate ruler. And while, yes, there is some romance in all three books, it's never easy or stupid. When Bitterblue develops feelings for someone, it is a hindrance to her more than some wild fulfilling of her life's wish. It's much closer to the way love actually works. Turns out, women can like a boy, but also have more important things to deal with right now, like why people keep turning up dead.
The other huge theme in all three books is the presents of an abusive and controlling father figure. In Graceling, Katsa is used as an enforcer/assassin for a tyrant king; in Fire, her father used is ability to control minds to horrific ends; and in Bitterblue, the spector of the mad king poisons everything. Each character is trying to overcome horrific emotional abuse by a father character. The scars of this abuse are so well written that it seems like the author is writing from some first hand knowledge, though that is purely speculation on my part. In my opinion, one of the most horrifying aspects of the mad king is that we see some evidence that he actually cared about his daughter, that he wanted to build a world that she could inherit and follow his example. It's twisted and evil, but is also comes from a place of tenderness, and as such, causes more pain. It's so much easier to hate the abuser when you can forget that abuse and love aren't mutually exclusive. The king is evil, he murdered his wife in front of bitterblue and there is evidence that he wanted to do horrible things to his daughter, and to see that some part of him cared for her adds a messiness to the emotions in the book that Bitterblue has to deal with. In deed, a similar relationship exists in all three books. It's a hard thing to deal with, and gives the reader much more to think about than many adult oriented novels. These books contain many layered themes that older readers will pick up on that may be missed by younger ones. It's a hard balance to find and Kristin Cashore excels at it.
So if you are looking for a some really brilliant fantasy writing, with kick ass female leads, you should really just check out this whole series.
10/10
This is the final book in Kristin Cashore's 7 Kingdoms trilogy. It's a young adult fantasy series that inludes the books GRACELING, FIRE, and today's entry, BITTERBLUE. Each of the 3 books follows a young female protagonist learning to grow up in the dangerous world around her. GRACELING introduces us to the world of the 7 kingdoms where some people are born with special abilities called graces. In the first book, we meet Katsa, a young girl with the grace of killing. Book two, FIRE, introduces us to a strange land beyond the 7 Kingdoms, The Dells. Instead of graces, the Dells is a land of monsters, brightly colored animals that have special power over other creatures. It is there we meet FIRE, the last human monster in the world. Why am I bringing this up? Because while the first two books give us heroines with fantastic powers, the third book gives us our first (relatively) normal heroine, Queen Bitterblue. Before I get into spoilers, just know that all three books are fantastic, and you should go read them. They're even better than the Hunger Games.
(massive spoilers ahead for Graceling and Fire!!!)
At age 18, Bitterblue is tasked with finding a way to help her kingdom recover from 35 years of atrocities committed by her father, who had the Grace of telling lies that people beleved, meaning he has the power to control anyone who hears him. He can stab your mother in front of you and tell you she just committed suicide and you will believe him. That's about the nicest thing he ever did. So the book takes place 8 years after he is gone (I won't tell you how) and Bitterblue is starting to realize that the recovery in her kingdom is not going as well as she has been led to believe. Secrets and coverups and mysteries are everywhere, and the book delves into questions of how someone copes with awakening to the realization that horrible things have been done to them, or that they have been the perpetrators of horrific acts. The main characters are complex and well thought out, and, depsite the considerable drop in bloodshed compared to the first two books, this book has a much faster pace to it. You want to know the truth as bad at Bitterblue does, and you share her horror as you find out it was even worse than you can imagine. These books remind me of a young adult version of the Game of Thrones series, but with happy endings. Just as many horrific events take place, but it is mostly alluded too here (the evicerations and rape happen away from the main story). The geography is also much easier to figure out, which means you can enjoy the story without an atlas.
There are two themes that run through all three books. The first is the presense of a well-rounded female character. We have three main characters throughout these books and all three of them are extremely complex. Bitterblue begins the story in a bit of a daze, her advisors keep her doing the most boring paperwork they can find so that she doesn't learn about the intricasies of her Kingdom. It's not a flattering start. We have an incurious woman who doesn't take much of an interest in rulling her kingdom because it's 'boring.' Through the course of the book though, we get to see her transformation into a powerful, but compassionate ruler. And while, yes, there is some romance in all three books, it's never easy or stupid. When Bitterblue develops feelings for someone, it is a hindrance to her more than some wild fulfilling of her life's wish. It's much closer to the way love actually works. Turns out, women can like a boy, but also have more important things to deal with right now, like why people keep turning up dead.
The other huge theme in all three books is the presents of an abusive and controlling father figure. In Graceling, Katsa is used as an enforcer/assassin for a tyrant king; in Fire, her father used is ability to control minds to horrific ends; and in Bitterblue, the spector of the mad king poisons everything. Each character is trying to overcome horrific emotional abuse by a father character. The scars of this abuse are so well written that it seems like the author is writing from some first hand knowledge, though that is purely speculation on my part. In my opinion, one of the most horrifying aspects of the mad king is that we see some evidence that he actually cared about his daughter, that he wanted to build a world that she could inherit and follow his example. It's twisted and evil, but is also comes from a place of tenderness, and as such, causes more pain. It's so much easier to hate the abuser when you can forget that abuse and love aren't mutually exclusive. The king is evil, he murdered his wife in front of bitterblue and there is evidence that he wanted to do horrible things to his daughter, and to see that some part of him cared for her adds a messiness to the emotions in the book that Bitterblue has to deal with. In deed, a similar relationship exists in all three books. It's a hard thing to deal with, and gives the reader much more to think about than many adult oriented novels. These books contain many layered themes that older readers will pick up on that may be missed by younger ones. It's a hard balance to find and Kristin Cashore excels at it.
So if you are looking for a some really brilliant fantasy writing, with kick ass female leads, you should really just check out this whole series.
10/10
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
DMCP# 61 - Fantasia 2000
Fantasia 2000 was such a breath of fresh air. The movie opens with Leopold Stokowski's opening naration from the first Fantasia. The film brings in the original animation from the opening Tocatta in D Sequence, and as the sound waterfalls through the clouds and to the ground, the animation changes into a burst of color and we see a group of colorful triangles floating like butterflies. They fly around and are chased by an ominous cloud of black "bat" triangles. It's thrilling and gorgeous and a wonderful introduction to a new Fantasia. We then meet our first in a series of celebrity cameos as Steve Martin explains the original vision for Fantasia was an ever evolving work of art, with new and old pieces changing all the time. Then we get into the pieces:
1. Toccata in D reimagined- 8/10 - I already spoke about this above, but it really is a beautiful melding of the old and new (and a refreshing change from the revolting animation in Oliver and Company)
2. Pines of Rome - 7/10 - This isn't my favorite piece, but it is still a stunning, sureal vision of the artic ocean. We get flying whales, swimming birds, and some great shots of icebergs and the northern lights
3. Rhapsody in Blue - 11/10 - This is hands down my Favorite. It starts with that long clarinet note and one line on the screen which turns into the New York City skyline in the 1930's. We get to see a day in the life of several characters across the city: A young construction worker who wants to be a musician, a man looking for work, a rich husband with an overbearing wife, and a precocious young girl who doesn't quite fit in. It's thrilling, heartfelt, and all set to an all-time American classic.
4. Steadfast Tin Soldier - 9/10 - This Hans Christian Anderson tale uses an interesting mix of what looks like hand drawn and computer animation. The story is very sweet and a great reminder that a Jack-in-the-box is creepy and probably wants to steal your girlfriend and murder you. Because that's how they roll... Jerks.
5. Carnival of the animals - 9/10 - What happens when you give a flamingo a yo-yo? About 2 minutes of slapstick genius, that's what.
6. Sorcerer's Apprentice - 10/10 - I think they brought this one back mostly for the people whose attention span would never let them get through the 2+ hours of Fantasia. That's ok, because this piece is a classic
7. pomp and circumstance - 10/10 - Noah's Ark starring Donald and Daisy duck. Donald proves once again that he is the true talent and that Mickey has been riding his coattails for the last 80 years. It's funny and clever and so well done that you forget that this song is actually quite insufferable on its own.
8. The Firebird - 7/10 - And then we end on a lower note. This is a fine little piece about a spirit of nature and her struggle against the destructive and terrible Firebird. It's not that this is bad, but the imagery brings to mind to far superior Night on Bald Mountain from the original.
Overall, this is a much shorter Fantasia, but I think this might be a better length for this type of film. Between the two films, we get enough truly stunning and visionary animation that I hope that we get another installment someday, hopefully with installments featuring the Pixar studio and Studio Ghibli.
9/10
1. Toccata in D reimagined- 8/10 - I already spoke about this above, but it really is a beautiful melding of the old and new (and a refreshing change from the revolting animation in Oliver and Company)
2. Pines of Rome - 7/10 - This isn't my favorite piece, but it is still a stunning, sureal vision of the artic ocean. We get flying whales, swimming birds, and some great shots of icebergs and the northern lights
3. Rhapsody in Blue - 11/10 - This is hands down my Favorite. It starts with that long clarinet note and one line on the screen which turns into the New York City skyline in the 1930's. We get to see a day in the life of several characters across the city: A young construction worker who wants to be a musician, a man looking for work, a rich husband with an overbearing wife, and a precocious young girl who doesn't quite fit in. It's thrilling, heartfelt, and all set to an all-time American classic.
4. Steadfast Tin Soldier - 9/10 - This Hans Christian Anderson tale uses an interesting mix of what looks like hand drawn and computer animation. The story is very sweet and a great reminder that a Jack-in-the-box is creepy and probably wants to steal your girlfriend and murder you. Because that's how they roll... Jerks.
5. Carnival of the animals - 9/10 - What happens when you give a flamingo a yo-yo? About 2 minutes of slapstick genius, that's what.
6. Sorcerer's Apprentice - 10/10 - I think they brought this one back mostly for the people whose attention span would never let them get through the 2+ hours of Fantasia. That's ok, because this piece is a classic
7. pomp and circumstance - 10/10 - Noah's Ark starring Donald and Daisy duck. Donald proves once again that he is the true talent and that Mickey has been riding his coattails for the last 80 years. It's funny and clever and so well done that you forget that this song is actually quite insufferable on its own.
8. The Firebird - 7/10 - And then we end on a lower note. This is a fine little piece about a spirit of nature and her struggle against the destructive and terrible Firebird. It's not that this is bad, but the imagery brings to mind to far superior Night on Bald Mountain from the original.
Overall, this is a much shorter Fantasia, but I think this might be a better length for this type of film. Between the two films, we get enough truly stunning and visionary animation that I hope that we get another installment someday, hopefully with installments featuring the Pixar studio and Studio Ghibli.
9/10
DMCP# 60 - Oliver and Company
It's a good thing I like Billy Joel, otherwise I'd have nothing good to say about this movie. First off, this is one of the rare Disney movies where the animation is offensively bad. Like, 80's cartoons bad. I think Gem and the Holograms has better animation than this movie. Because the animation is so bad, the voice actors have no help in creating memorable characters. It's really hard to make Dom Deluise, Bette Midler, and Cheech Marin boring, but they manage it here. As for the story, it's loosely based on Oliver Twist. A kitten named Oliver is given up for adoption, but nobody wants him, he finds a family with a gang of dog thieves, they leave him in a limo during a heist gone bad, and the little girl in the limo adopts him. The dogs rescue him and their human friend, Fagin, tries to ransom Oliver to repay a debt to the mob. Little girl gets kidnapped tying to save him, dogs come to the rescue and mob guy gets hit by a subway train. Everyone lives happily ever after, now you don't have to sit through this thing. In fact, the only good part of the movie is Billy Joel's song, which they sing twice. It's hard to believe that this is the last movie before The Little Mermaid. After sitting through Black Cauldron, Great Mouse Detective, and Oliver and Company, I have such a greater apreciation for the quality of The Little Mermaid. Even if I'm not the biggest fan, it reinvented the studio and returned it to the quality deserving of the Disney name. Now I'm going to go watch Fantasia 2000 because I need to see some quality animation stat.
2/10
2/10
Saturday, March 9, 2013
DMCP# 59 - Bolt
I'm saving the Toy Story sequels for last. I want to make sure that this project ends on a high note. Bolt is not a high note. Bolt is the most insufferable kind of modern cartoon. It's hip, winking, and never even comes close to hitting on an honest moment during the entire 96 min runtime. Bolt is the star of a knockoff Inspector Gadget TV show. The show within a show intro is the closest this movie comes to being entertaining, but then we get to see behind the scenes of the show. For some stupid reason, the whole show is designed to fool the dog into thinking the show is real. They go to absurd lengths, which are played for laughs, but the jokes are strained and stupid. In fact the whole movie is working way to hard to fool a dog into thinking he's a superhero. I have a dog. He can be fooled with very little effort, it's called "The fake throw" and it works every time. Anyway, blah blah blah Bolt thinks his owner has been kidnapped and runs away to save her. Then we get wacky adventures with obnoxious characters and a recurring joke about styrofoam. From sidekick to star, the whole thing is strained and painfully unfunny (except for a few brief moments from the hamster) I think the biggest problem is that the movie hinges on the audience relating to John Travolta and Miley Cyrus. I'm not saying they can't be entertaining, but when was the last time John Travolta conveyed anything honest? Correct answer: never, he has never given a performance that showed honest human emotions. This means he can't play a dog. Dog's are fundamentally incapable of dishonesty, and that's why you can't have a movie with a fake actor trying to be a dog. It sucks. And Miley Cyrus is terrible too... but you already knew that.
3/10
3/10
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)