Today I will be talking about Lilo & Stitch based on the novel "Push" by Saphire. This could be the darkest setup ever for a Disney movie. "Hey, what if we make a movie about a little orphan girl in Hawaii who is clinically depressed, has ADHD and is constantly getting in fights with her older sister, who is trying to raise her. Oh, then her sister can get in trouble with social services, and they we'll have the little girl make friends with a disneyfied xenomorph, and they'll cause so much mayhem, her sister will lose her job and their house can blow up! The kids'll love it!"
Given the basic premise, it's amazing that this movie works so well. Mixing Sci-Fi with a high stakes domestic drama should be a disaster, but somehow, it works. The movie uses a strange sense of humor that blends everything together. When Lilo is attempting to punish her friends with voodoo dolls, it somehow makes sense that her best friend should be a genetically engineered creature of distruction.
The story of Lilo and her sister Nani is a very honest look at a broken family that has been through unimaginable tradgedy. You get to see two people trying to find a way to make things work while feeling crushed by the reality of their situation. It is in these moments of honesty that we get some of the best scenes in the movie.
As a total contrast, we get to see goofy alien creatures attempt to recapture the escaped Stitch. The fish our of water alien duo add a nice dash of silliness and also causes Stitch to stay with Lilo to evade capture. It works more often than not, but it is the weakest part of the film. In fact, apart from Stitch, most of the Alien characters are very generic and boring, thankfully we only see them in the prologue and at the end of the movie. One other charcter that needs to be recognized is Ving Rhames as the social worker, Cobra Bubbles. Ridiculous name aside, he doe a great job of not letting the social worker be a villain. He is actually looking out for the best interests of Lilo and Nani, and given the events of the movie, you can't really blame him for his actions.
The core of the movie revolves around the idea of 'Ohana. As we are told throughout the movie, 'Ohana, means family; and that no one gets left behind or forgotten. It is really a beautiful sentiment that the movie drives home. The central message is that families aren't always happy or perfect, but they should always stick together. As Stitch points out at the end of the movie, "This is my family. I Found it. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good." It's a great message for Disney to send out, and one that is repeated over and over again in their films. It's what makes people love these movies so much. They always try to tell you that outsiders are valuable and as deserving of love as anyone else, and that a family can take many shapes. They maybe little and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good
8.5/10
Friday, November 30, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
DMCP - Wreck-It Ralph
It's been awhile, so let's get right to it.
If you haven't seen Wreck-It Ralph yet, go. Right now. It's a great film and loaded with enough eye candy to give you a tooth ache.
The story is about the existential crisis that Ralph has after spending 30 years doing a job no one respects. What do you do when you provide a crucial service that makes everyone hate you? Ralph represents anyone who's ever felt that their job has kept them from gaining respect in their community. Garbagemen, customer service reps, census workers, tax collectors, etc. If you've held a job like this, you can understand Ralph's depression. To the other characters in his game, he is an untouchable, a worthless oaf. It is only when he leaves on a desparate mission to become a hero that the other characters see his value.
In one of the worlds Ralph travels to, we get to meet Vanelopee Von Schweetz, an outcast in her own game for being a glitch. Like Ralph, Everyone sees her as a mistake to be ignored or bullied. Ralph forms a friendship with Vanelopee and tries to help her prove her worth, and learns what it means to be a hero in the process.
Without getting into spoilers, the movie also does a nice job dealing with effects of letting yourself be consumed by jealousy over another's success. This Character goes to sadistic extremes to stay relevent, denying others their opportunity for success. It's quite the cautionary tale when you see just how much distruction and pain this jealousy causes.
But enough about the serious stuff. This movie is also gorgeous. The various game worlds are rendered beatifully, especially Sugar Rush. If you've never played a video game, or if you've been playing them your whole life, I defy you to come out of this movie not wishing this was a real game. This Candyland meets MarioKart world is the setting for the best action sequences and visual delights in the movie. In the words of Tina Fey, "I want to go to there."
For Video game fans, we get to see games treated with respect. So often, video games are portrayed as little more than toys for kids and losers. In Wreck-It Ralph, you instead get to see games as exciting, immersive worlds worth spending time in. The movie celebrates the history of games with cameos of characters we've known for over 30 years. Older gamers will recognize the characters they grew up with, while younger gamers will recognize some of these characters as the corporate mascots they have become.
Kudos goes to John C. Reily as Ralph and Sarah Silverman as Vanelopee. They have created fully demensional characters that you can't help but fall in love with. I also want to give props to Alan Tudyk (Wash from Firefly!) for doing an amazing homage to Ed Wynn as the crazy ruler of the Surgar Rush kingdom. It's awesome.
So go see Wreck-It Ralph.
9/10
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Big Trouble in Little China - John Carpenter's Masterpiece
So, those of you who've known me for awhile may be aware that Big Trouble in Little China is one of my favorite movies of all time. I've probably seen it over 50 times easily, and I don't understand why this isn't the John Carpenter movie everyone talks about instead of Halloween. It's brilliant. Allow me to Explain.
1. Best portrayals of Asian- Americans in 80's cinema? - In the same decade that Sixteen Candles gave us Long Duck Dong, John Carpenter gave us a movie that, while certainly having fun with Chinese Mythology, also gives us a much better view of Asians than we'd previously seen. Yes, there's chinese magic and Kung Fu. The film is very clearly aiming for B-movie siliness (The director's commentary with John Carpenter and Kurt Russell confirms this)but, within that context we get Characters like Uncle Chu and Eddie. They both work at Wang Chi's Restaurant, and niether of them knows kung fu or magic. Eddie is an everyman. He's easy going, shy around the ladies, and is the kind of guy you'd love to be friends with. Uncle Chu is a grandfatherly type who knows the old chinese legends the same way any other elderly relative might know the folk stories of their culture.
The movie also has a lot of fun directly challenging stereotypes. Most of the Asian Actors speak perfect English, know how to drive, and are sexual beings. Egg Shen is a very capable bus driver (he successfully dodges the Pork Chop Express as it barrels at him going the wrong way on a one way street). The movie's plot revolves around Wang Chi's quest to rescue his fiancee. Wang Chi (Dennis Dun) is the hero and romantic lead of the story. He's the one who gets the girl in the end, and gets to make out with her. Quick, How many American movies can you name where the hero is an Asian Male who wins the love of his girl and they get to kiss at the end and live happily ever after? I can't think of any.
2. Kurt Russell's Jack Burton - This is my Favorite Kurt Russell performance of all time. He is the Star of the movie, but not the hero. He is setup in the prologue scene with Victor Wong to be a great man, then we quickly cut to a dirty truck driver, sloppily eating a sandwich as he pontificates about his greatness over his CB radio. This is 1986, the time of Rambo and Schwarzenegger and Indiana Jones. Jack Burton is a schlub. He's dirty, gross, rude, and has the casual arrogance and racism of an 80's All-American male. He fails to do a single thing right in the whole movie until the very end. And even then, his lone act of competence was "all in the reflexes." Jack's presence in the film serves at every turn to elevate the dignity and reality of the other Characters. His failures serve to contrast the lives the Asian Characters. Uncle Chu is a Chef, Eddie is a Matre D', Wang owns his own restaurant, and Egg Shen is a bus driver who also happens to own a whole block of real estate in San Francisco's China Town. These are very successful people, living out the American dream, and Jack Burton is just along for the ride. The humor in the movie is in his failure to understand that he is not in control. He assumes he should know what's going on. He's a white male in America. How could he be out of his depth? But he is. His one positive trait is his loyalty to his friend Wang Chi. When he's not trying deal with the magic and silliness of the movie, Jack treats Wang as his equal, and the movie doesn't draw attention to it. They are friends, they respect each other, and not much is said about it. It's the casualness of this friendship that really stands out when you look at other buddy friendships involving asian characters. Usually, the American (Chris Tucker, Owen Wilson, or whoever else is playing oposite Jackie Chan) has to grow to respect the Asian Character throughout the course of the film, and the Asian actor (usually Jackie Chan) is playing a variation on the noble savage stereotype. Not so here, Wang is already a successful, charming American bussiness owner when we meet him, and Jack is his sidekick. Wang likes Jack for his boistrous, outspoken nature, and Jack admires Wang's success. The race of the characters only matter because of the plot.
3. The plot. This movie is a great example of building a crazy story from the simplest beginning. Jack drives into Chinatown to make a delivery and stays for a night of gambling. Wang Chi, nervous about picking his fiancee up at the airport, joins the party. In the morning, Jack has won big and Wang wants to make a double or nothing bet and loses. Jack, ever the classy guy, gives wang a lift to the airport so he can make sure he gets his money. Then there's a kidnapping, kung fu battles, magic, mystical warriors, ghosts, monsters, and a young Kim Catrall. It goes to so many crazy places, but always maintains a sense of fun. I can't understand watching this movie without a smile on your face. The fights are awesomely staged and shot. (James Lew, the fight choreographer, would go on to work with pretty much every martial arts star ever) The alley way stand off between the Wing Kong and Chang Sings followed by the Arrival of the Three Storms is still one of my favorite actions scenes. It's a combination of martial arts and back alley brawling, all shot in a way that you can clearly follow the action, and the Three Storms have my vote for best villain entrance. I'd try to describe it, but it sounds way less cool in print.
4. Cast and Characters - First of all, this cast is amazing. If you love action movies, especially martial arts movies, you will spend about every five minutes going, "Hey, it's that guy! From that thing!" It's a who's who of Asian Character actors, stunt men and choreographers. James Hong, Victor Wong, James Lew, Donald Li, Chao Li Chi, Al Leoung, and many others. James Hong in particular gives an inspired performance as the villain Lo Pan. Hong effortlessly shifts from creepy to crazy to funny all while maintaining the integrety of the character. His fight with Egg Shen is the most WTF moment in the film, in a good way. It's just Awesome.
5. WTF? Lastly, this movie is filled with WTF moments that showcase just how much fun the movie is. Eyeball Monsters, Videogame battles, exploding men, and Kate Burton delivering my favorite line of ridiculous exposition ever with a straight face. "You mean THE David Lo Pan, the chairman of the national orient bank and the owner of the Wing Cong import export trading company? But who's so reclusive, that nobody's even laid eyes on the guy in years?!" Yes, that David Lo Pan.
Thanks for reading. Now I have room in my brain for a new post.
1. Best portrayals of Asian- Americans in 80's cinema? - In the same decade that Sixteen Candles gave us Long Duck Dong, John Carpenter gave us a movie that, while certainly having fun with Chinese Mythology, also gives us a much better view of Asians than we'd previously seen. Yes, there's chinese magic and Kung Fu. The film is very clearly aiming for B-movie siliness (The director's commentary with John Carpenter and Kurt Russell confirms this)but, within that context we get Characters like Uncle Chu and Eddie. They both work at Wang Chi's Restaurant, and niether of them knows kung fu or magic. Eddie is an everyman. He's easy going, shy around the ladies, and is the kind of guy you'd love to be friends with. Uncle Chu is a grandfatherly type who knows the old chinese legends the same way any other elderly relative might know the folk stories of their culture.
The movie also has a lot of fun directly challenging stereotypes. Most of the Asian Actors speak perfect English, know how to drive, and are sexual beings. Egg Shen is a very capable bus driver (he successfully dodges the Pork Chop Express as it barrels at him going the wrong way on a one way street). The movie's plot revolves around Wang Chi's quest to rescue his fiancee. Wang Chi (Dennis Dun) is the hero and romantic lead of the story. He's the one who gets the girl in the end, and gets to make out with her. Quick, How many American movies can you name where the hero is an Asian Male who wins the love of his girl and they get to kiss at the end and live happily ever after? I can't think of any.
2. Kurt Russell's Jack Burton - This is my Favorite Kurt Russell performance of all time. He is the Star of the movie, but not the hero. He is setup in the prologue scene with Victor Wong to be a great man, then we quickly cut to a dirty truck driver, sloppily eating a sandwich as he pontificates about his greatness over his CB radio. This is 1986, the time of Rambo and Schwarzenegger and Indiana Jones. Jack Burton is a schlub. He's dirty, gross, rude, and has the casual arrogance and racism of an 80's All-American male. He fails to do a single thing right in the whole movie until the very end. And even then, his lone act of competence was "all in the reflexes." Jack's presence in the film serves at every turn to elevate the dignity and reality of the other Characters. His failures serve to contrast the lives the Asian Characters. Uncle Chu is a Chef, Eddie is a Matre D', Wang owns his own restaurant, and Egg Shen is a bus driver who also happens to own a whole block of real estate in San Francisco's China Town. These are very successful people, living out the American dream, and Jack Burton is just along for the ride. The humor in the movie is in his failure to understand that he is not in control. He assumes he should know what's going on. He's a white male in America. How could he be out of his depth? But he is. His one positive trait is his loyalty to his friend Wang Chi. When he's not trying deal with the magic and silliness of the movie, Jack treats Wang as his equal, and the movie doesn't draw attention to it. They are friends, they respect each other, and not much is said about it. It's the casualness of this friendship that really stands out when you look at other buddy friendships involving asian characters. Usually, the American (Chris Tucker, Owen Wilson, or whoever else is playing oposite Jackie Chan) has to grow to respect the Asian Character throughout the course of the film, and the Asian actor (usually Jackie Chan) is playing a variation on the noble savage stereotype. Not so here, Wang is already a successful, charming American bussiness owner when we meet him, and Jack is his sidekick. Wang likes Jack for his boistrous, outspoken nature, and Jack admires Wang's success. The race of the characters only matter because of the plot.
3. The plot. This movie is a great example of building a crazy story from the simplest beginning. Jack drives into Chinatown to make a delivery and stays for a night of gambling. Wang Chi, nervous about picking his fiancee up at the airport, joins the party. In the morning, Jack has won big and Wang wants to make a double or nothing bet and loses. Jack, ever the classy guy, gives wang a lift to the airport so he can make sure he gets his money. Then there's a kidnapping, kung fu battles, magic, mystical warriors, ghosts, monsters, and a young Kim Catrall. It goes to so many crazy places, but always maintains a sense of fun. I can't understand watching this movie without a smile on your face. The fights are awesomely staged and shot. (James Lew, the fight choreographer, would go on to work with pretty much every martial arts star ever) The alley way stand off between the Wing Kong and Chang Sings followed by the Arrival of the Three Storms is still one of my favorite actions scenes. It's a combination of martial arts and back alley brawling, all shot in a way that you can clearly follow the action, and the Three Storms have my vote for best villain entrance. I'd try to describe it, but it sounds way less cool in print.
4. Cast and Characters - First of all, this cast is amazing. If you love action movies, especially martial arts movies, you will spend about every five minutes going, "Hey, it's that guy! From that thing!" It's a who's who of Asian Character actors, stunt men and choreographers. James Hong, Victor Wong, James Lew, Donald Li, Chao Li Chi, Al Leoung, and many others. James Hong in particular gives an inspired performance as the villain Lo Pan. Hong effortlessly shifts from creepy to crazy to funny all while maintaining the integrety of the character. His fight with Egg Shen is the most WTF moment in the film, in a good way. It's just Awesome.
5. WTF? Lastly, this movie is filled with WTF moments that showcase just how much fun the movie is. Eyeball Monsters, Videogame battles, exploding men, and Kate Burton delivering my favorite line of ridiculous exposition ever with a straight face. "You mean THE David Lo Pan, the chairman of the national orient bank and the owner of the Wing Cong import export trading company? But who's so reclusive, that nobody's even laid eyes on the guy in years?!" Yes, that David Lo Pan.
Thanks for reading. Now I have room in my brain for a new post.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
My Top Ten Scary Movies
If you ever wondered how you could scare the crap out of me, then I have news for you. The following is a list of the top ten scariest movies I have ever seen. These are movies that caused an actual fear response, cause me to scream, cry out, run out of the house to find safety, or just stay up trembling. What you won't find on this list are some movies that seem to always top these lists. No SHINING, OMEN, or EXORCIST here. (I agree with Beetlejuice about the Exorcist. It does get funnier every time I see it!) So here it is, my top ten:
10. 1408 - I spend a lot of time letting my mind wonder/fixate on things, so watching John Cusack slowly lose his mind while being terrified by a malevolent force realy got to me. I remember walking out of the theatre and feeling like I'd been awake during a really messed up dream I had. The rest of that day was spent trying to shake the feeling that I was still living in some kind of weird nightmare.
9. POLTERGEIST - One scene. The guy who goes into th bathroom to peel a bit of something off his face, if you've seen it, you know what happens next. You ever try to have a screaming match with your brain? I did, and my brain won. *shudders*
8. SE7EN - I hate David Fincher. Apart from a brief stint in my late teens when I though Fight Club was awesome, I can safely say I've loathed every single thing he has made. Mostly because I don't understand people heaping praise on boring, stupid movies, but Se7en I hate for a different reason. It's the kind of movie that is so dark, and still has a sense of reality about it, that by the end, I have lost all faith in humanity. This movie makes me not want to live in a world that bleak. It's a horror equivalent of watching Requiem for a Dream: After it's over, I just want to hold my loved ones and cry, and then put on Super Troopers to chase the sadness away.
7. PSYCHO - This is a movie I thought I knew all there was to know about. I've watched Bravo count down the 100 scariest movie moments about a dozen times, and they always talk about the shower scene, Norman sinking the car, and the guy falling down the stairs. What they leave out is the ending. Oh God, the ending. When you finally see the face of the killer, it's so unsettling and bizare, your brain can't quite process it. Anthony Perkins gives the best serial killer performance I have ever seen. He is so captivating, balancing pitiful and creepy perfectly. And the final shot of the film is creepier than anything in Silence of the Lambs, which is also based on the life of Ed Gein.
6. JAWS - I have an almost crippling fear of being in a deep body of water, and I blame Jaws. Even swimming in the lakes back home, If the water goes over my head, I know, I KNOW, I am about to die. I've gotten better about suppressing that feeling, but it's always, always there. Stupid shark movie.
5. SAW III - Sometimes the context you see a movie in changes everything. I'm actually a fan of the Saw franchise, which is surprising because the first time I saw the original, I thought it was the worst movie I'd ever seen. But the makeup and prop designer inside of me grew to love the inventive traps as the series went on. But I watched Saw III for the first time in a hotel room with a bunch of my theatre friends in college, and I was the only one in the room who liked scary movies. When you have that many people around you losing their minds, you get infected by it, and you start to feel very unsafe. The movie has turned on you and you may not make it. Also, this one has the two most upsetting traps in the whole series: the pig trap, and the torture rack. I still can't keep my eyes open in those scenes.
4. DRAG ME TO HELL - Of all the movies on this list, this is the only one with happy memories. I saw this at the Rivoli Theatre in La Crosse, WI. A group of us from the theatre I was working at drove over there and ordered pizza, beer, & hot wings and sat in the front row and had an absolute blast. This movie balanced the scares about 2 seconds after you have started laughing at the punchline of a joke, causing you to shift from laugh to scream on a dime, followed by another laugh of apreciation. If you love the thrills and scares of the best rollercoasters, this movie is for you.
3. THE DESCENT - I love visiting caves, but I always have that moment where I think of just how many tons of rock I'm standing under, and how dead I'd be if there was a cave in. This movie answers that question, then makes it worse, by adding monsters down there as well. It also features a cast of strong female characters who mostly try to do exactly what I'd do in the same situation. And they're still screwed. If you watch this movie, stick with the unrated ending. It's way better.
2. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE - This movie makes me just want to shower. It's just so relentlessly horrifying. It was also the first slasher movie I saw that starred average looking, sympathetic victims. The movie starts creepy, quickly moves to F'ed up when they pick up a hitch-hiker, and it only goes downhill from there. The final sequence with the whole family around the dinner table is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a movie. This is not a movie to watch alone.
1. THE INNKEEPERS - Ti West is my new favorite horror director, and this movie caught me totally off guard. I'd already seen his first movie, HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, which is a pretty great throwback horror movie. I liked it, but I wasn't too scared by it. His second film though, caused me to flee my house in terror. To say anything about the INNKEEPERS is to spoil the surprise, so I'll just give my inner monologue as I watched it: "la la la, lovable losers, closing hotel, blah blah blah.......ha, that was cute.....blah blah blah, oooh, that's kind a creepy, la la la, oh good, it's almost over, what a disapointme- wait...what? no, oh no, ohnonononononono, Get out of there! OH SH*T! OH! OH MY GOD!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!.............. I'm going to hide somewhere bright and happy, like the mall." By lulling you into a near stupor, your brain isn't prepared when the movie gets scary, and you feel like you do when a dream you're having takes a wrong turn: you're helpless and terrified and you just want to make it stop. This movie is the reason for this post, mainly because I had a dream last night where my wife and I were in the final scary scene. Not cool, subconscious, not cool at all.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: as a small child I walked into the room at my grandparents house right when Toht's face was melting off. Nightmares for weeks. Also, I hate spiders.
JURASSIC PARK: Went to see this movie for a friend's birthday party in 3rd Grade. I hid under the candy counter from the moment the guy gets pulled into the raptor cage in the opening until the T-rex fought the raptors at the end. Basically, Steven Spielberg was the root of all my childhood trauma.
SPY KIDS: I have two words for you: Thumb Thumbs. ugh! I was so creeped out by this movie, I made my dad take us back to the movie theater to see Josie and the Pussycats just so I could sleep that night.
10. 1408 - I spend a lot of time letting my mind wonder/fixate on things, so watching John Cusack slowly lose his mind while being terrified by a malevolent force realy got to me. I remember walking out of the theatre and feeling like I'd been awake during a really messed up dream I had. The rest of that day was spent trying to shake the feeling that I was still living in some kind of weird nightmare.
9. POLTERGEIST - One scene. The guy who goes into th bathroom to peel a bit of something off his face, if you've seen it, you know what happens next. You ever try to have a screaming match with your brain? I did, and my brain won. *shudders*
8. SE7EN - I hate David Fincher. Apart from a brief stint in my late teens when I though Fight Club was awesome, I can safely say I've loathed every single thing he has made. Mostly because I don't understand people heaping praise on boring, stupid movies, but Se7en I hate for a different reason. It's the kind of movie that is so dark, and still has a sense of reality about it, that by the end, I have lost all faith in humanity. This movie makes me not want to live in a world that bleak. It's a horror equivalent of watching Requiem for a Dream: After it's over, I just want to hold my loved ones and cry, and then put on Super Troopers to chase the sadness away.
7. PSYCHO - This is a movie I thought I knew all there was to know about. I've watched Bravo count down the 100 scariest movie moments about a dozen times, and they always talk about the shower scene, Norman sinking the car, and the guy falling down the stairs. What they leave out is the ending. Oh God, the ending. When you finally see the face of the killer, it's so unsettling and bizare, your brain can't quite process it. Anthony Perkins gives the best serial killer performance I have ever seen. He is so captivating, balancing pitiful and creepy perfectly. And the final shot of the film is creepier than anything in Silence of the Lambs, which is also based on the life of Ed Gein.
6. JAWS - I have an almost crippling fear of being in a deep body of water, and I blame Jaws. Even swimming in the lakes back home, If the water goes over my head, I know, I KNOW, I am about to die. I've gotten better about suppressing that feeling, but it's always, always there. Stupid shark movie.
5. SAW III - Sometimes the context you see a movie in changes everything. I'm actually a fan of the Saw franchise, which is surprising because the first time I saw the original, I thought it was the worst movie I'd ever seen. But the makeup and prop designer inside of me grew to love the inventive traps as the series went on. But I watched Saw III for the first time in a hotel room with a bunch of my theatre friends in college, and I was the only one in the room who liked scary movies. When you have that many people around you losing their minds, you get infected by it, and you start to feel very unsafe. The movie has turned on you and you may not make it. Also, this one has the two most upsetting traps in the whole series: the pig trap, and the torture rack. I still can't keep my eyes open in those scenes.
4. DRAG ME TO HELL - Of all the movies on this list, this is the only one with happy memories. I saw this at the Rivoli Theatre in La Crosse, WI. A group of us from the theatre I was working at drove over there and ordered pizza, beer, & hot wings and sat in the front row and had an absolute blast. This movie balanced the scares about 2 seconds after you have started laughing at the punchline of a joke, causing you to shift from laugh to scream on a dime, followed by another laugh of apreciation. If you love the thrills and scares of the best rollercoasters, this movie is for you.
3. THE DESCENT - I love visiting caves, but I always have that moment where I think of just how many tons of rock I'm standing under, and how dead I'd be if there was a cave in. This movie answers that question, then makes it worse, by adding monsters down there as well. It also features a cast of strong female characters who mostly try to do exactly what I'd do in the same situation. And they're still screwed. If you watch this movie, stick with the unrated ending. It's way better.
2. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE - This movie makes me just want to shower. It's just so relentlessly horrifying. It was also the first slasher movie I saw that starred average looking, sympathetic victims. The movie starts creepy, quickly moves to F'ed up when they pick up a hitch-hiker, and it only goes downhill from there. The final sequence with the whole family around the dinner table is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a movie. This is not a movie to watch alone.
1. THE INNKEEPERS - Ti West is my new favorite horror director, and this movie caught me totally off guard. I'd already seen his first movie, HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, which is a pretty great throwback horror movie. I liked it, but I wasn't too scared by it. His second film though, caused me to flee my house in terror. To say anything about the INNKEEPERS is to spoil the surprise, so I'll just give my inner monologue as I watched it: "la la la, lovable losers, closing hotel, blah blah blah.......ha, that was cute.....blah blah blah, oooh, that's kind a creepy, la la la, oh good, it's almost over, what a disapointme- wait...what? no, oh no, ohnonononononono, Get out of there! OH SH*T! OH! OH MY GOD!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!.............. I'm going to hide somewhere bright and happy, like the mall." By lulling you into a near stupor, your brain isn't prepared when the movie gets scary, and you feel like you do when a dream you're having takes a wrong turn: you're helpless and terrified and you just want to make it stop. This movie is the reason for this post, mainly because I had a dream last night where my wife and I were in the final scary scene. Not cool, subconscious, not cool at all.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: as a small child I walked into the room at my grandparents house right when Toht's face was melting off. Nightmares for weeks. Also, I hate spiders.
JURASSIC PARK: Went to see this movie for a friend's birthday party in 3rd Grade. I hid under the candy counter from the moment the guy gets pulled into the raptor cage in the opening until the T-rex fought the raptors at the end. Basically, Steven Spielberg was the root of all my childhood trauma.
SPY KIDS: I have two words for you: Thumb Thumbs. ugh! I was so creeped out by this movie, I made my dad take us back to the movie theater to see Josie and the Pussycats just so I could sleep that night.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
My one and only statement about MN amendments.
This is my one and only statement in regards to this election. If you're sick of hearing about politics, just stop reading now. really. It's fine. I wrote this to get it off my chest more than I wrote it to convince anyone that I'm right. Now that you've been warned, it's about to get all kinds of preachy up in here.
Still reading? Ok. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Everyone, my one and only political statement: Vote for the representives you believe in. That is your right and duty as an American citizen. If you can see my facebook profile, it means I have friended you and I think you are a good and decent person. I also believe your vote is sacred and private, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone. I only ask that those of you voting in MN think long and hard about the marriage and voter ID amendments. Voting yes on either is a vote to restrict the rights of those around you.
The marriage amendment needlessly restricts the rights of people who are very dear to me, people who have shown me great kindness and generosity over the years, people I would do anything for. A vote no does not affect your beliefs, it does not legalize gay marriage, it only prevents us from using the state constitution to officially sanction bigotry. Even if gay marriage were to be legalized (as it should be), the government cannot force religious institutions to perform gay weddings. Churches have and will continue to have the right to refuse to marry any one they wish. For example, Catholic churches refuse to marry people all the time for various reasons, and they will certainly be able to add gay people to that list when gay marriage becomes legal. That is their right, and a right given to all religious institutions that I would fight for them to keep. Gay marriage is about giving legal protections and responsibility to those who disire it. It's about letting people retain joint property and assets after a death, it's about visiting loved ones in the hospital, and it's about the right to divorce and recieve fair treatment by the law when dissolving such a partnership. There are countless other legal and logistical advantages to being married that my gay friends are being denied everyday for archaic and ridiculous reasons. Marriage has evolved and been redefined countless times or the centuries. Multiple wives, dowries, concubines, arranged marriages.... these are all repelent ideas to us now, and they were all once allowed under "traditional" views of marriage. we changed definitions again over the years when we allowed interracial marriages. The world continued to spin. It will continue to spin after we let all loving, caring adults marry the ones they love. Please vote No, it hurts no one, and will mean a lot to people I love very much.
As for the voter ID amendment, the amendment cost millions of dollars, with cause a need for increased government oversight, disenfranchise millions of voters, and do almost nothing to stop voter fraud. Why? People who currently don't have driver's license will need to find a way to get and pay for a photo ID. The incresed demand will create a need to hire more government workers, and, being the goverment, we'll need to pay someone else to watch over them. There are also many people who cannot travel, cannot afford the fee, or both. So either Taxpayers will have to pick up the tab, or these American citizens will be dinied the right to vote. All this is allegedly to prevent voter fraud. Studies show that voter fraud among the general public is rare. $500 in fines and potential jail time is a lot to risk for one extra vote. Likewise for politicians themselves. The fallout from being caught stealing votes would be devastating. Besides, logic suggests that the political parties would not be spending hundreds of millions of dollars a year raising money to win votes if they could just cheat. It's a wasteful, stupid amendment that expects us to vote to restrict the voting process out of fear and ignorance. I for one, will not vote to restrict my or any one else's rights. I urge you to do the same.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. That's pretty much all I have to say on the subject. If you disagree, thanks for hearing me out. You are of course welcome to attempt to change my mind. Fair warning, it won't work. We will both be happier agreeing to disagree.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
DMCP # 50-63 - Ratatouille
FIVE MONTHS BETWEEN POSTS!!! sorry everyone. I've been a little busy moving to another state and job hunting and what not. Anyway, on with the countdown....
I love Pixar, I love Patton Oswalt, I love food, I love cooking. So why isn't Ratatouille one of my favorite movies of all time? I should love this movie, but I only like it. This movie has moments of greatness to be sure, Ego's review at the end is one of my favorite descriptions of criticism ever. But I do disagree a little that negative criticism is fun to read and write. It is fun to read and write when a movie is a bloated hollywood mess directed by Michael Bay or George Lucas, but I take little joy from having to eviscerate Cars 2 or Pinnochio. It's not fun to be negative about something you wanted to love. I'd always rather be raving about something unique that needs to be defended.
This goes back to my problems with Ratatouille. It is a unique story, and I love the message that while not every one is great, true greatness can come from anywhere. I sometimes feel that this is the message we've been trying to teach kids all along. You know, before we started giving participation ribbons for everything. Pixar movies tend to have several variations on this theme and I quite like it. It is a reminder that greatness is something everyone should strive for, even if we don't all achieve it.
What Pixar doesn't do very well here is show the amount of work it take to be great. All of Remy's problems with being a cook have to do with being a rat. Yes, that's a huge obstacle for our hero, but his genius as a cook never seems earned. It's almost like starting Star Wars with Anikin Skywalker already being good at everything he does, except people don't like him so life is hard. That is a harsh example, and Phantom Menace isn't in the same league as Ratatouille, but I believe they share a problem of having a protagonist who is too skilled to be truly interesting. We never see Remy fail at cooking, and I think the movie suffers for it. I wish we could have one moment where Remy fails at the thing he is truly great at. I want him to have a new recipe turn out badly. It happens to everyone who loves to cook. In fact, every good cook I know has done this, and it makes them better. Even Remy's hero Gusteau has a bad recipe that needs to be fixed. By not having Remy ever make a cooking error, it sucks a lot of tension out of the film.
Everything hinges on how to get a rat to cook in a French kitchen. Again, huge obstacle for our hero, but our hero is already an anthropomorphic rat with super cooking powers. If you suspend your disbelief that far, there's no doubt he'll succeed if he gets the chance. And we know he'll get the chance. Even with all the obstacles put in front of him, movie watching has taught us that the hero will always get a chance to square off against the villain. Rocky isn't about if he'll get to fight Apollo Creed. We know he will, that's why we are watching. We want to see if he can win. Spiderman will fight Dr. Octopus, The Incredibles will face Syndrome, etc, etc, etc. We never get a moment to feel like Remy can't beat Anton Ego. All those moments are given to Linguini, which is a shame because he is more or less a plot device. He is the tool Remy uses to succeed and I don't care much about the feelings and doubts of a tool. Linguini isn't a substantial enough character to carry the weight of the movie. His arc is this: clumsy boy becomes friends with rat who can work him like a puppet by pulling his hair, he learns to become confident in himself, and learns he is a good waiter by the end. That's it! the journey from dishwasher to waiter is not interesting. None of his other fame and success is his doing. So what we have is Remy and Linguini sharing the role of hero. Remy has all the talent, but none of the being human necessary to succeed, and Linguini has none of the talent and all of the (fully justified) self doubt. Neither of them are complete enough characters for us to get behind.
With all that said, I still find the movie charming. The animation is gorgeous, the side characters are fun, Peter O'T0oole's Villainous food critic is brilliant, and the sound is great. The highlight of the movie for me is the moment when Collette shows Linguini how to find good bread. The crackle of the bread makes my mouth water every single time and I'm tempted to just turn the movie off and go eat a whole loaf of french bread. I wish the movie had more moments like that. Instead we get good soup (which is too vague in description to be interesting) and ratatouille (which does look delicious). For a movie about cooking, it's sadly lacking in culinary money shots.
All in all Ratatouille is a likeable movie, but it never reaches the levels of greatness that it seeks to celebrate.
6/10
I love Pixar, I love Patton Oswalt, I love food, I love cooking. So why isn't Ratatouille one of my favorite movies of all time? I should love this movie, but I only like it. This movie has moments of greatness to be sure, Ego's review at the end is one of my favorite descriptions of criticism ever. But I do disagree a little that negative criticism is fun to read and write. It is fun to read and write when a movie is a bloated hollywood mess directed by Michael Bay or George Lucas, but I take little joy from having to eviscerate Cars 2 or Pinnochio. It's not fun to be negative about something you wanted to love. I'd always rather be raving about something unique that needs to be defended.
This goes back to my problems with Ratatouille. It is a unique story, and I love the message that while not every one is great, true greatness can come from anywhere. I sometimes feel that this is the message we've been trying to teach kids all along. You know, before we started giving participation ribbons for everything. Pixar movies tend to have several variations on this theme and I quite like it. It is a reminder that greatness is something everyone should strive for, even if we don't all achieve it.
What Pixar doesn't do very well here is show the amount of work it take to be great. All of Remy's problems with being a cook have to do with being a rat. Yes, that's a huge obstacle for our hero, but his genius as a cook never seems earned. It's almost like starting Star Wars with Anikin Skywalker already being good at everything he does, except people don't like him so life is hard. That is a harsh example, and Phantom Menace isn't in the same league as Ratatouille, but I believe they share a problem of having a protagonist who is too skilled to be truly interesting. We never see Remy fail at cooking, and I think the movie suffers for it. I wish we could have one moment where Remy fails at the thing he is truly great at. I want him to have a new recipe turn out badly. It happens to everyone who loves to cook. In fact, every good cook I know has done this, and it makes them better. Even Remy's hero Gusteau has a bad recipe that needs to be fixed. By not having Remy ever make a cooking error, it sucks a lot of tension out of the film.
Everything hinges on how to get a rat to cook in a French kitchen. Again, huge obstacle for our hero, but our hero is already an anthropomorphic rat with super cooking powers. If you suspend your disbelief that far, there's no doubt he'll succeed if he gets the chance. And we know he'll get the chance. Even with all the obstacles put in front of him, movie watching has taught us that the hero will always get a chance to square off against the villain. Rocky isn't about if he'll get to fight Apollo Creed. We know he will, that's why we are watching. We want to see if he can win. Spiderman will fight Dr. Octopus, The Incredibles will face Syndrome, etc, etc, etc. We never get a moment to feel like Remy can't beat Anton Ego. All those moments are given to Linguini, which is a shame because he is more or less a plot device. He is the tool Remy uses to succeed and I don't care much about the feelings and doubts of a tool. Linguini isn't a substantial enough character to carry the weight of the movie. His arc is this: clumsy boy becomes friends with rat who can work him like a puppet by pulling his hair, he learns to become confident in himself, and learns he is a good waiter by the end. That's it! the journey from dishwasher to waiter is not interesting. None of his other fame and success is his doing. So what we have is Remy and Linguini sharing the role of hero. Remy has all the talent, but none of the being human necessary to succeed, and Linguini has none of the talent and all of the (fully justified) self doubt. Neither of them are complete enough characters for us to get behind.
With all that said, I still find the movie charming. The animation is gorgeous, the side characters are fun, Peter O'T0oole's Villainous food critic is brilliant, and the sound is great. The highlight of the movie for me is the moment when Collette shows Linguini how to find good bread. The crackle of the bread makes my mouth water every single time and I'm tempted to just turn the movie off and go eat a whole loaf of french bread. I wish the movie had more moments like that. Instead we get good soup (which is too vague in description to be interesting) and ratatouille (which does look delicious). For a movie about cooking, it's sadly lacking in culinary money shots.
All in all Ratatouille is a likeable movie, but it never reaches the levels of greatness that it seeks to celebrate.
6/10
Thursday, September 8, 2011
DMCP #49-63 - Cars
Some of you may have noticed that I didn't exactly care for Cars 2. After re-watching Cars again, I hate the sequel even more for taking away everything that I love about the first movie. Cars is a love letter to a bygone way of life in America: the days of adventuring out in your car just for the sheer thrill of driving. It's about small towns along winding, thrilling highways. It's about the memories we make when the journey is as important as the destination.
Re-watching Cars, I came up with a theory for why this film is thought of as a miss-step for Pixar. I have a feeling many film reviewers live rather busy lives in major cities. Gas is expensive, navigating city traffic is a pain, and there are always deadlines to meet. I can sympathize with people for whom car travel has never been something to enjoy, but to endure. If that is the case, this movie is nothing but half-baked sentimentality for the red state crowd, a bone thrown to dumb country folk. You would have no frame of reference to connect to this movie on an emotional level.
The other thing I noticed is that Lightning McQueen isn't really the most important Character. We know what his arc is almost immediately and that's ok, because once you know where you are going, you can relax and enjoy the rich scenery. It's the townsfolk of Radiator Springs and their interactions the make up the soul of this movie. They make up a loving an touching family. Luigi and Guido make a great comedic duo, the crazy old lady Model-T is always amusing, and the shy fire engine is adorable. As for Larry the Cable Guy's Mater, I think this is the best performance the Cable Guy will ever give us, and I mean that as a compliment. Mater is goofy and dim-witted, but restrained and nuanced enough to create a character we'd like to hang out with. Who wouldn't want to go tractor tipping with Mater? Owen Wilson does a great job playing the straight man(car?)and the balance is just about perfect.
The anchor of the movie though, is Paul Newman's Doc Hudson. While many people choose to live in small towns to feel free, Doc has come to hide from his past, to deny his former greatness. Paul Newmans does a fantastic job of slowly revealing the deep emotional scars of a fallen athlete, and his reintroduction to his fans in the third act is lovely.
The most moving moment of the movie for me by far was the montage of what's happens to a town when it is forgotten. I saw the movie in Kilgore, TX. It's an old oil town where the wells have all but dried up. the downtown is filled with long dried up oil derricks and shuttered store fronts, all businesses have moved out to the highway or by the Walmart. If not for the small collage that holds the Texas Shakespeare Festival and boasts one of the best Cheerleader squads in the state, the town would have dried up and blown away years ago. When a montage essentially shows you the very thing you look at everyday when you go outside, you cannot help but feel the impact. I know of other towns, forgotten because of a freeway bypass, and it's like putting a kink in a garden hose.
The film takes ample time to preach the treasure that is Route 66. It's a highway that winds through the country and gives travelers a journey worth remembering. It's the symbol of the countless state highways throughout the country. The fondest Memory I have of my father is the time we took a road trip to St. Louis and back, just because. We spent a few hours on route 66 just for the heck of it, and it is the coolest road I've ever ridden on. We loved it so much we decided to take the quieter highways the whole way back, cruising along the Mississippi River and stopping in towns like Hannibal, MO just to see the town where Mark Twain lived. We took our time and I have a wealth of precious memories because of it. The Film also reminds me of a trip with the whole family out to Colorado, winding through Wyoming and the Black Hills of South Dakota. If you've only ever taken the interstate through the heart of the country, you might as well just fly because your missing all the things that make car travel a joy.
In the end it's the memories the film brings up that make Cars so special to me. Yes, it's a little weird that the world is only made up of cars and no organic life except for plants. But When you're writing a love letter to the open road and the thrill of driving, adding humans to your film is redundant because the movie speaks to the special moments when you become one with your car and the road. It's about the moments when you feel free.
7/10 - I have to dock it a point 'cuz even though it's redundant, it's still weird to have sentient cars ride around inside of each other.
Re-watching Cars, I came up with a theory for why this film is thought of as a miss-step for Pixar. I have a feeling many film reviewers live rather busy lives in major cities. Gas is expensive, navigating city traffic is a pain, and there are always deadlines to meet. I can sympathize with people for whom car travel has never been something to enjoy, but to endure. If that is the case, this movie is nothing but half-baked sentimentality for the red state crowd, a bone thrown to dumb country folk. You would have no frame of reference to connect to this movie on an emotional level.
The other thing I noticed is that Lightning McQueen isn't really the most important Character. We know what his arc is almost immediately and that's ok, because once you know where you are going, you can relax and enjoy the rich scenery. It's the townsfolk of Radiator Springs and their interactions the make up the soul of this movie. They make up a loving an touching family. Luigi and Guido make a great comedic duo, the crazy old lady Model-T is always amusing, and the shy fire engine is adorable. As for Larry the Cable Guy's Mater, I think this is the best performance the Cable Guy will ever give us, and I mean that as a compliment. Mater is goofy and dim-witted, but restrained and nuanced enough to create a character we'd like to hang out with. Who wouldn't want to go tractor tipping with Mater? Owen Wilson does a great job playing the straight man(car?)and the balance is just about perfect.
The anchor of the movie though, is Paul Newman's Doc Hudson. While many people choose to live in small towns to feel free, Doc has come to hide from his past, to deny his former greatness. Paul Newmans does a fantastic job of slowly revealing the deep emotional scars of a fallen athlete, and his reintroduction to his fans in the third act is lovely.
The most moving moment of the movie for me by far was the montage of what's happens to a town when it is forgotten. I saw the movie in Kilgore, TX. It's an old oil town where the wells have all but dried up. the downtown is filled with long dried up oil derricks and shuttered store fronts, all businesses have moved out to the highway or by the Walmart. If not for the small collage that holds the Texas Shakespeare Festival and boasts one of the best Cheerleader squads in the state, the town would have dried up and blown away years ago. When a montage essentially shows you the very thing you look at everyday when you go outside, you cannot help but feel the impact. I know of other towns, forgotten because of a freeway bypass, and it's like putting a kink in a garden hose.
The film takes ample time to preach the treasure that is Route 66. It's a highway that winds through the country and gives travelers a journey worth remembering. It's the symbol of the countless state highways throughout the country. The fondest Memory I have of my father is the time we took a road trip to St. Louis and back, just because. We spent a few hours on route 66 just for the heck of it, and it is the coolest road I've ever ridden on. We loved it so much we decided to take the quieter highways the whole way back, cruising along the Mississippi River and stopping in towns like Hannibal, MO just to see the town where Mark Twain lived. We took our time and I have a wealth of precious memories because of it. The Film also reminds me of a trip with the whole family out to Colorado, winding through Wyoming and the Black Hills of South Dakota. If you've only ever taken the interstate through the heart of the country, you might as well just fly because your missing all the things that make car travel a joy.
In the end it's the memories the film brings up that make Cars so special to me. Yes, it's a little weird that the world is only made up of cars and no organic life except for plants. But When you're writing a love letter to the open road and the thrill of driving, adding humans to your film is redundant because the movie speaks to the special moments when you become one with your car and the road. It's about the moments when you feel free.
7/10 - I have to dock it a point 'cuz even though it's redundant, it's still weird to have sentient cars ride around inside of each other.
DCMP #48-63 - The Sword in the Stone
I'm back after over a month off and it's time for me to review the final film that Walt Disney himself saw through to completion (he died during Jungle Book). Sword in the Stone is a brisk tale Merlin and his attempts to educate a young boy who would become King Arthur. It's light, airy fun, and it never takes itself very seriously. Because of this, there's not much too this movie at all. It lacks the depth of Character to be very engaging. The best Character by far is the Mad Madame Mim. In a film where Wart is a little too bland, and Merlin a little too dumb, Mim is wonderfully insane, and breathe a gust of life into the procedings. There's not much really to say about this movie actually. It's a fun movie for a lazy Sunday, but nothing more. Oh well, still 15 films to go! Up next: Cars
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
DMCP - Tangled #47-63
For Disney's 50th Animated feature, they went back to what they do best - Fairy tales. This time up, Rapunzel. All the signature Disney touches are there: Independence minded princess, a wicked villain, silly sidekicks, animal friends, and animation that is second to none. For all the strides made by Dreamworks recently with How to Train Your Dragon and King Fu Panda, they can't touch the beauty of the lantern sequence in Tangled.
Tangled has a lighthearted sense of fun about it, without being too cutesy. It strikes that magic balance between childlike playfulness and an adult sense of story and character. The witch in Tangled marks a very mature step for Disney. She is a complex and cerebral villain who almost never shows her wicked side. Instead, she is a masterful manipulator, charming others to do her dirty work. Her treatment of Rapunzel is so disturbing because it is so calculating. She uses feigned love and passive aggressive tormenting to keep Rapunzel as emotionally locked up and she is physically. Rapunzel is so damaged by her mother that the very act of leaving her tower sends her into Bi-polar fits. It's a funny scene, but it underscores the years of emotional abuse. In fact, Mother Goethel has more in common with the modern parent than a mustache twirling villain. While kids are enjoying a fun fairy tale adventure, parents are treated to the dark side of being an overprotective parent, trying to reclaim their youth at the expense of their child's development. Mother Goethel is a 21st Century villain who would be quite at home on an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras. (I wonder if the writer's room was down the hall from the latest Disney Channel auditions, it makes sense that those who work at the Mouse House see an overabundance of this behavior.)
Apart from the deeper meaning, you also get a lot of pretty great sight gags (including a sword fight with a horse and a frying pan), and the dude from Chuck makes a great Flynn Rider. Mandy Moore is perfectly charming as Rapunzel, and her voice is ideal for the light and fluffy songs in the movie. While the movie is technically a musical, the songs are not very memorable. That's not to say they're bad, they just fit so snuggly into the story that you can watch it and forget anyone was every singing. The only stand out number takes place in a scary tavern in the woods with a bunch of criminals with hearts of gold.
Also, because of the ending, my wife now has princess hair, and that's awesome.
9/10
Tangled has a lighthearted sense of fun about it, without being too cutesy. It strikes that magic balance between childlike playfulness and an adult sense of story and character. The witch in Tangled marks a very mature step for Disney. She is a complex and cerebral villain who almost never shows her wicked side. Instead, she is a masterful manipulator, charming others to do her dirty work. Her treatment of Rapunzel is so disturbing because it is so calculating. She uses feigned love and passive aggressive tormenting to keep Rapunzel as emotionally locked up and she is physically. Rapunzel is so damaged by her mother that the very act of leaving her tower sends her into Bi-polar fits. It's a funny scene, but it underscores the years of emotional abuse. In fact, Mother Goethel has more in common with the modern parent than a mustache twirling villain. While kids are enjoying a fun fairy tale adventure, parents are treated to the dark side of being an overprotective parent, trying to reclaim their youth at the expense of their child's development. Mother Goethel is a 21st Century villain who would be quite at home on an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras. (I wonder if the writer's room was down the hall from the latest Disney Channel auditions, it makes sense that those who work at the Mouse House see an overabundance of this behavior.)
Apart from the deeper meaning, you also get a lot of pretty great sight gags (including a sword fight with a horse and a frying pan), and the dude from Chuck makes a great Flynn Rider. Mandy Moore is perfectly charming as Rapunzel, and her voice is ideal for the light and fluffy songs in the movie. While the movie is technically a musical, the songs are not very memorable. That's not to say they're bad, they just fit so snuggly into the story that you can watch it and forget anyone was every singing. The only stand out number takes place in a scary tavern in the woods with a bunch of criminals with hearts of gold.
Also, because of the ending, my wife now has princess hair, and that's awesome.
9/10
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
DMCP - Winnie the Pooh - #46 of 63
So I tallied up my movies so far and out of 63 movies (51 Disney and 12 Pixar) I have watched 45. Today I'll talk about #46 - Winnie the Pooh.
I loved this movie. After the tragedy of Cars 2, it was great to see something as polished and gentle as Pooh Bear and his friends. The voices may be a little different, but Disney has really captured the heart of what made these characters so great in the first place. Jim Cummings does a remarkable job as Winnie the Pooh (and Tigger too!) and Craig Ferguson does a nice job as owl.
The themes of the movie are very basic; friendship, imagination, and helping others; but the story is told with an effortless grace that is a welcome relief in a summer filled with superheroes, giant machines, and sex comedies. I an era filled with irony and cynicism, I enjoy the directness and honesty of Christopher Robin and his friends. None of them have ulterior motives - Pooh wants honey, Tigger wants to bounce and pounce, Piglet wants to help, and owl wants to read you his memoir. For the brief 70 minute run time (including an adorable short about the Loc-ness monster narrated by Billy Connolly)I was transported back to my child hood days, being tucked into bed and having my father read me a bedtime story. If you ever find yourself in need of a little break from the stress of modern life, take the time to sit down and spend an hour in the Hundred Acre Wood. You'll be glad you did.
9/10
Also, Stay for the end credits, and if you think of it, look up California Public Television personality Huell Howser or any of comedian James Adomian's Huell Howser impersonations on the Comedy Bang Bang (formally Comedy Death-Ray) podcast. It will only add to your enjoyment of the post-credits sequence, I promise.
I loved this movie. After the tragedy of Cars 2, it was great to see something as polished and gentle as Pooh Bear and his friends. The voices may be a little different, but Disney has really captured the heart of what made these characters so great in the first place. Jim Cummings does a remarkable job as Winnie the Pooh (and Tigger too!) and Craig Ferguson does a nice job as owl.
The themes of the movie are very basic; friendship, imagination, and helping others; but the story is told with an effortless grace that is a welcome relief in a summer filled with superheroes, giant machines, and sex comedies. I an era filled with irony and cynicism, I enjoy the directness and honesty of Christopher Robin and his friends. None of them have ulterior motives - Pooh wants honey, Tigger wants to bounce and pounce, Piglet wants to help, and owl wants to read you his memoir. For the brief 70 minute run time (including an adorable short about the Loc-ness monster narrated by Billy Connolly)I was transported back to my child hood days, being tucked into bed and having my father read me a bedtime story. If you ever find yourself in need of a little break from the stress of modern life, take the time to sit down and spend an hour in the Hundred Acre Wood. You'll be glad you did.
9/10
Also, Stay for the end credits, and if you think of it, look up California Public Television personality Huell Howser or any of comedian James Adomian's Huell Howser impersonations on the Comedy Bang Bang (formally Comedy Death-Ray) podcast. It will only add to your enjoyment of the post-credits sequence, I promise.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
DMCP - Cars 2
New Pixar Film!!! They never mess up!!! This is gonna be....Pixar's answer to the Phantom Menace? Wha-happened?? Why did John Lasseter sucker punch me? This is a joke right? Right?!
This movie sucks, hard. I am utterly baffled at the terrible script. For a studio that prides itself on always having a compelling story, the folks at Pixar made a movie that was worse than your worst fears. The dialogue in this movie is unbearable, like, Star Wars Prequels bad. Case in point, at the end of the movie, the two British spies fly from England to Radiator Springs with an order from the Queen to bring back Mater for another mission. Mater says something stupid like,
"Gee, thanks fellers, but my home is here in Radiator Springs." To which they reply, "Oh, I understand." AND THAT'S IT!!!! THE FLIPPING QUEEN SENT TWO TOP OPERATIVES TO COLLECT SOMEONE FOR A MISSION AND A "NAH, I'M GOOD." IS ALL IT TAKES TO ABORT THE MISSION!! SERIOUSLY?! Nothing holds any weight, major developments are just shrugged off, and Pixar seems to just assume we care rather than put any effort into making us care.
There are no characters in this movie, just vague shadows of the ones from the original Cars (which I love, by the way). The biggest problem with this movie is that John Lasseter assumes our sympathy for Mater instead of earning it. When your main character is a rude, selfish dolt with no concern for the feelings of others, it's impossible to feel bad when Lightning McQueen gets fed up with him. I had a friend who was similar to Mater growing up. He was loud, sometimes obnoxious,and often spoke before thinking. But you know what? He also knew when to cool it. He may say something embarrassing in public, but never humiliating. He could be himself AND acknowledge the feelings of his friends. He could rein himself in enough to respect his friends. The point is there is a line between being true to yourself, and being true to yourselfish (to turn a phrase from Peer Gynt) The problem with Mater in this movie is he lacks an ability to see what he's doing to his friends. If Mater cares about Lighting McQueen, then Lighting shouldn't have to scream at him to get his attention. Mater is a bad friend, which makes his words meaningless. If the central relationship rings false, the movie has no emotional core, and everything is a waste of time.
Fortunately, there's a nifty spy movie to keep this movie partly watchable. Michael Cain's Finn McMissile is the coolest car James Bond never drove. When the movie is in action mode, Pixar has some pretty cool tricks up its sleeve and the world building animation is stunning. In the end though, this moving is a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing.
Movie - 2/10
Animation - 9/10
This movie sucks, hard. I am utterly baffled at the terrible script. For a studio that prides itself on always having a compelling story, the folks at Pixar made a movie that was worse than your worst fears. The dialogue in this movie is unbearable, like, Star Wars Prequels bad. Case in point, at the end of the movie, the two British spies fly from England to Radiator Springs with an order from the Queen to bring back Mater for another mission. Mater says something stupid like,
"Gee, thanks fellers, but my home is here in Radiator Springs." To which they reply, "Oh, I understand." AND THAT'S IT!!!! THE FLIPPING QUEEN SENT TWO TOP OPERATIVES TO COLLECT SOMEONE FOR A MISSION AND A "NAH, I'M GOOD." IS ALL IT TAKES TO ABORT THE MISSION!! SERIOUSLY?! Nothing holds any weight, major developments are just shrugged off, and Pixar seems to just assume we care rather than put any effort into making us care.
There are no characters in this movie, just vague shadows of the ones from the original Cars (which I love, by the way). The biggest problem with this movie is that John Lasseter assumes our sympathy for Mater instead of earning it. When your main character is a rude, selfish dolt with no concern for the feelings of others, it's impossible to feel bad when Lightning McQueen gets fed up with him. I had a friend who was similar to Mater growing up. He was loud, sometimes obnoxious,and often spoke before thinking. But you know what? He also knew when to cool it. He may say something embarrassing in public, but never humiliating. He could be himself AND acknowledge the feelings of his friends. He could rein himself in enough to respect his friends. The point is there is a line between being true to yourself, and being true to yourselfish (to turn a phrase from Peer Gynt) The problem with Mater in this movie is he lacks an ability to see what he's doing to his friends. If Mater cares about Lighting McQueen, then Lighting shouldn't have to scream at him to get his attention. Mater is a bad friend, which makes his words meaningless. If the central relationship rings false, the movie has no emotional core, and everything is a waste of time.
Fortunately, there's a nifty spy movie to keep this movie partly watchable. Michael Cain's Finn McMissile is the coolest car James Bond never drove. When the movie is in action mode, Pixar has some pretty cool tricks up its sleeve and the world building animation is stunning. In the end though, this moving is a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing.
Movie - 2/10
Animation - 9/10
Thursday, June 23, 2011
DMCP - Lady and the Tramp
Ahhh.... Back to the classics. After suffering through some of Disney's lesser films, it easy to see how their classics are taken for granted. Lady and the Tramp was a welcome reminder for why I started this in the first place. It's touching, thrilling, adorable, and a whole lot of fun. For Disney's first full length original tale, Walt and Co. have done a fabulous job. This movie features some of Disney's favorite voice actors in multiple roles. The guy who played Smee in Peter Pan has about 6 roles in this movie and Lady is voiced by the same woman who voiced Kanga in Winnie the Pooh and Merriweather in Sleeping Beauty. It's also Kind of a hoot to hear the voice of Cinderella's fairy Godmother as crazy cat lady Aunt Sarah. Peggy Lee even pulls triple duty, playing both Siamese cats and the sultry dog in the pound. (Is it weird to describe a dog as 'sultry'? Maybe, but she is basically the doggy version of a lounge singer, so I'm gonna stick with it.)
As the spouse of a woman who really wants a puppy, (I wouldn't say no to one either) I was a little dismayed at the treatment of Lady by her owners once Darling became pregnant. I understand being cautious or distracted, but ignoring your dog's existence? That's just bad pet ownership. But I'll forgive it because it allows us the chance to see Lady go on her adventures. The climactic scene with the rat is really fantastic. I highly recommend revisiting this movie if you haven't scene it for a while.
8/10
*on a nerdy theatre note: You have to love any movie where the Russian dog in the pound quotes Gorky's "The Lower Depths"!
As the spouse of a woman who really wants a puppy, (I wouldn't say no to one either) I was a little dismayed at the treatment of Lady by her owners once Darling became pregnant. I understand being cautious or distracted, but ignoring your dog's existence? That's just bad pet ownership. But I'll forgive it because it allows us the chance to see Lady go on her adventures. The climactic scene with the rat is really fantastic. I highly recommend revisiting this movie if you haven't scene it for a while.
8/10
*on a nerdy theatre note: You have to love any movie where the Russian dog in the pound quotes Gorky's "The Lower Depths"!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
DMCP - Melody Time & Make Mine Music
Double feature today. Melody Time and Make Mine Music mark the last of the Disney Compilation features of the 1940's. After sitting through Three Cabelleros, Saludos Amigos, Fun and Fancy Free, and The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, I'm glad to be moving on. Both Melody Time and Make Mine Music feature animated shorts set to music sung by popular artists of the day and it works to a certain degree.
Melody Time is by far the stronger film. It features shorts about Johnny Appleseed and Pecos Bill, both of which are highlights for me. The animation in Melody Time is consistently creative and stunning, spanning several artistic styles. The Flight of the Bumblebee sequence is outstanding, as is the opening winter ice skating scene. After watching this film I was very excited to see what hidden gems would be hiding in Make Mine Music. I would be disappointed. The highlight of MMM is Peter and the Wolf. Other than that, it's the opposite of Melody Time. The final sequence of MMM involves the zealous murder of a whale who can sing opera. That's the closing number. Not good, not good at all....
Oh well, with the exception of Fantasia 2000, it's all narrative features from here on out. Up Next, Lady and the Tramp!
Melody Time - 7/10
Make Mine Music - 3/10
Melody Time is by far the stronger film. It features shorts about Johnny Appleseed and Pecos Bill, both of which are highlights for me. The animation in Melody Time is consistently creative and stunning, spanning several artistic styles. The Flight of the Bumblebee sequence is outstanding, as is the opening winter ice skating scene. After watching this film I was very excited to see what hidden gems would be hiding in Make Mine Music. I would be disappointed. The highlight of MMM is Peter and the Wolf. Other than that, it's the opposite of Melody Time. The final sequence of MMM involves the zealous murder of a whale who can sing opera. That's the closing number. Not good, not good at all....
Oh well, with the exception of Fantasia 2000, it's all narrative features from here on out. Up Next, Lady and the Tramp!
Melody Time - 7/10
Make Mine Music - 3/10
Sunday, June 5, 2011
DMCP part 4 - Chicken Little, Fox and the Hound, Fun and Fancy Free
Well, we finally got back to some good stuff. Let's get to it:
Chicken Little - It's easy to see why people dislike this movie. The hip, current twist on an old fairy tale idea was well worn out by the time it came out in 2005. Turning a tale about a silly little chicken into a movie about space aliens sounds ridiculous, but watching it again, I feel like Disney was in on the joke. It's so referential it turns into a meta commentary on self-referential movies, just look at the movie within a movie at the end. Also, a lot of the jokes are quite funny. My favorite side character in the movie is easily Fish out of Water. The animators do a fantastic job with his physical comedy. At it's heart though, Chicken Little is about forgiveness. It's about a boy (or chicken) trying to undo the damage of his one big mistake and earn back his dad's trust. Chicken Little spends most of this movie trying to prove to the world that he's not just the summation of one mistake, and that he's much more than that. Gary Marshall does a nice job of playing the single father who isn't quite sure how to deal with the fallout from his son's actions. Under all the flash and silliness, there is a nice emotional core to this movie that I think people can relate to.
7/10
Fox and the Hound - I'm not quite sure what to make of this movie. The story is fairly well put together and there are some great moments to be sure, but the message of the movie is a little unclear, and the movie is a bit dated. I could never quite figure out who Copper, the hound dog, and Todd, the fox, were supposed to represent. Is this a movie about race relations? If so, it's troubling that they spend so much time dwelling on the fact that Copper and Todd should be natural enemies. Or is the movie more about overcoming society's influence on defining the roles we must take on? I think that's a little better, after all, Copper isn't Todd's enemy until he is trained to be so. By the end of the movie though, Copper is able to overcome his conditioning and he defends Todd as his friend, regardless of the consequences. I guess I was thrown off by the rather stereotypical performance of Pearl Bailey as Big Mama. It struck me as pretty racist and I don't think that was the intention but it did affect my view of the movie. The highlight of the movie for me was young Copper's attempt at howling. It's one of the more adorable things I've ever seen. The biggest problem with this movie though, is the music. Oh man, is it sappy and dated and terrible. The whole spoken word poem/song as Todd is being taken to a game preserve is unbearable. The animation is good, but it lacks a proper Disney shine. The colors are muddy and the attention to detail is just not there. Overall, I'd say I liked this movie more than I thought I would, its a bright spot in Disney's dull years, but it doesn't quite hit Disney quality.
5.5/10
Fun and Fancy Free - This is another compilation movie from the post WWII years as the Disney studios were still getting back to their prewar output. It contains the stories of Bongo and Mickey and the Beanstalk and Jiminy Cricket is our guide into these tales. Bongo is a pretty cute story of a circus bear learning to cope with his new found freedom. His bewilderment as he learns how to live with the wild bears makes for a cute little story, and Dina Shore lends her voice as the narrator much in the same way Bing Crosby did for the Legend of Sleepy Hallow. Mickey and the Beanstalk holds a very dear place in my heart, as it was a favorite of my friends and I when we were kids. We marched around the woods singing the Giant's silly "fee fi fo fum" song while building forts in the woods. However, I quickly realized that I grew watching a truncated version of the story. The theatrical version of the tale includes a rather large amount of live action characters as well. The set up for the tale is an older gentleman and his puppets telling a little girl some stories. These puppets provide their own witty asides throughout the tale. While the jokes are cute, I have to say, the puppets are fairly unsettling when looked at today. They could be the reason some children develop a phobia of ventriloquist dummies. Apart from that; Mickey, Goofy, and Donald get to have a lot of fun playing the poor farmers who sell their cow for some magic beans. If you can get over your fear of dummies, you'll enjoy this lighthearted film. The only thing I didn't like about this movie where the slow, ballads sung in each piece. They went on too long and brought the momentum of the film to a grinding halt. cutting the songs in half would have fixed this, but I suppose attention spans were longer in the 1940s.
6.5/10
Chicken Little - It's easy to see why people dislike this movie. The hip, current twist on an old fairy tale idea was well worn out by the time it came out in 2005. Turning a tale about a silly little chicken into a movie about space aliens sounds ridiculous, but watching it again, I feel like Disney was in on the joke. It's so referential it turns into a meta commentary on self-referential movies, just look at the movie within a movie at the end. Also, a lot of the jokes are quite funny. My favorite side character in the movie is easily Fish out of Water. The animators do a fantastic job with his physical comedy. At it's heart though, Chicken Little is about forgiveness. It's about a boy (or chicken) trying to undo the damage of his one big mistake and earn back his dad's trust. Chicken Little spends most of this movie trying to prove to the world that he's not just the summation of one mistake, and that he's much more than that. Gary Marshall does a nice job of playing the single father who isn't quite sure how to deal with the fallout from his son's actions. Under all the flash and silliness, there is a nice emotional core to this movie that I think people can relate to.
7/10
Fox and the Hound - I'm not quite sure what to make of this movie. The story is fairly well put together and there are some great moments to be sure, but the message of the movie is a little unclear, and the movie is a bit dated. I could never quite figure out who Copper, the hound dog, and Todd, the fox, were supposed to represent. Is this a movie about race relations? If so, it's troubling that they spend so much time dwelling on the fact that Copper and Todd should be natural enemies. Or is the movie more about overcoming society's influence on defining the roles we must take on? I think that's a little better, after all, Copper isn't Todd's enemy until he is trained to be so. By the end of the movie though, Copper is able to overcome his conditioning and he defends Todd as his friend, regardless of the consequences. I guess I was thrown off by the rather stereotypical performance of Pearl Bailey as Big Mama. It struck me as pretty racist and I don't think that was the intention but it did affect my view of the movie. The highlight of the movie for me was young Copper's attempt at howling. It's one of the more adorable things I've ever seen. The biggest problem with this movie though, is the music. Oh man, is it sappy and dated and terrible. The whole spoken word poem/song as Todd is being taken to a game preserve is unbearable. The animation is good, but it lacks a proper Disney shine. The colors are muddy and the attention to detail is just not there. Overall, I'd say I liked this movie more than I thought I would, its a bright spot in Disney's dull years, but it doesn't quite hit Disney quality.
5.5/10
Fun and Fancy Free - This is another compilation movie from the post WWII years as the Disney studios were still getting back to their prewar output. It contains the stories of Bongo and Mickey and the Beanstalk and Jiminy Cricket is our guide into these tales. Bongo is a pretty cute story of a circus bear learning to cope with his new found freedom. His bewilderment as he learns how to live with the wild bears makes for a cute little story, and Dina Shore lends her voice as the narrator much in the same way Bing Crosby did for the Legend of Sleepy Hallow. Mickey and the Beanstalk holds a very dear place in my heart, as it was a favorite of my friends and I when we were kids. We marched around the woods singing the Giant's silly "fee fi fo fum" song while building forts in the woods. However, I quickly realized that I grew watching a truncated version of the story. The theatrical version of the tale includes a rather large amount of live action characters as well. The set up for the tale is an older gentleman and his puppets telling a little girl some stories. These puppets provide their own witty asides throughout the tale. While the jokes are cute, I have to say, the puppets are fairly unsettling when looked at today. They could be the reason some children develop a phobia of ventriloquist dummies. Apart from that; Mickey, Goofy, and Donald get to have a lot of fun playing the poor farmers who sell their cow for some magic beans. If you can get over your fear of dummies, you'll enjoy this lighthearted film. The only thing I didn't like about this movie where the slow, ballads sung in each piece. They went on too long and brought the momentum of the film to a grinding halt. cutting the songs in half would have fixed this, but I suppose attention spans were longer in the 1940s.
6.5/10
Thursday, May 26, 2011
D.M.C.P. Part 3 The Black Cauldron, A Bug's Life, and The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
Boy Disney is really making the project a chore. Today we have three films, from 3 different eras, and all of them are pretty bad. So Let's go Chronologically.
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad - I'd always been curious to see The Wind in the Willows featuring Mr. Toad. I'd heard all about Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and was under the impression that this was some sort of hidden Disney gem. Nope. For anyone who thinks children's stories only recently devolved into loud noises, action and no plot, I give you this piece of spastic storytelling. Mr. Toad is a lunatic and the whole thing is a sloppy nonsensical mess. The fight against the weasels is looney toons style slapstick without the fun. The legend of Sleepy Hallow fares better. It's always nice to hear Bing Crosby Narrate anything. But mostly this is a story about two unlikeable men fighting over a pretty rich girl with no character at all. It's more charming than Mr. Toad, but ultimately it's pretty forgettable.
3/10
The Black Cauldron - Every time someone complains about a story being Disneyfied, this is what they are talking about. Disney movies are no stranger to some pretty mature themes and they do go to some dark places. This one doesn't. Even with a Villain getting the Raiders of the Lost Ark death, it has no impact because there is zero character development. I think this could be the worst of all the main Disney movies because it smacks of being directed by an executive rather than an artist. The Source material is a complex world reminiscent of Tolkien, with flourishes of Welsh fables, and the movie is handled with all the care and skill of a bad episode of the Care Bears. In the movie, The Gandalf character is reduced to a silly old grandfather, and one one the major characters is eliminated. Imagine Lord of the Rings without Aragorn, or Star Wars without Han Solo. Would you want to watch anything with just Frodo or Luke showcasing their immaturity and incompetence to the world? No you wouldn't. Now imagine they've taken out Han Solo and leave you Jar Jar Binks. The Characters initiate a 'who's most useless?' contest and somehow defeat the Villain. And guess what, If your heroes are really, really lame, it makes the villain look worse, because he's look like Skeletor with antlers who can't stop a moron, a ditzy blonde, an eccentric octogenarian, and Fluffy Jar Jar from walking right into his fortress and messing everything up. There is nothing positive I can say about this turd sandwich.
-1/10
A Bug's Life - Ahhh, sweet relief, a Pixar film! They never make bad movies, right? WRONG! I didn't like it when it came out, and I like it even less now. It's by far my least favorite Pixar film because, with all the action sequences, the movie is boring. It starts with a really unlikeable protagonist. I'm shocked that the colony didn't just rise up and slay him. If your main character is a comically dangerous inventor, either his inventions need to be a) fun or b) not invite genocide. When our clumsy/overeager hero causes the disaster that sets the plot in motion, usually it's something more fun than knocking over the bribe you spent all summer gathering to prevent mass murder at the hands or a gang of murderous grasshoppers. There's a massive disconnect of tone. Kevin Spacey's hopper is in The Magnificent Seven, and Flik is in Three Amigos. Because of this, I found it very hard to root for Flik and his gang of crazy circus bugs. Don't get me wrong, the circus bugs are the best part of the film, but I don't want to waste time with screw-ups when there is an very real and terrifying threat. Flik's treated as an nuisance when he's demonstrated time and again that he's a threat to the survival of the colony. In that light, he's not a misunderstood outcast, he's a dangerous lunatic. Maybe I could go along with it if the underlying tone of the movie wasn't so grim, but when you're villain is eaten alive screaming for his life, it's not easy to be upbeat. That said, the worst effort of Pixar is still better than 90% of animated family films.
6/10
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad - I'd always been curious to see The Wind in the Willows featuring Mr. Toad. I'd heard all about Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and was under the impression that this was some sort of hidden Disney gem. Nope. For anyone who thinks children's stories only recently devolved into loud noises, action and no plot, I give you this piece of spastic storytelling. Mr. Toad is a lunatic and the whole thing is a sloppy nonsensical mess. The fight against the weasels is looney toons style slapstick without the fun. The legend of Sleepy Hallow fares better. It's always nice to hear Bing Crosby Narrate anything. But mostly this is a story about two unlikeable men fighting over a pretty rich girl with no character at all. It's more charming than Mr. Toad, but ultimately it's pretty forgettable.
3/10
The Black Cauldron - Every time someone complains about a story being Disneyfied, this is what they are talking about. Disney movies are no stranger to some pretty mature themes and they do go to some dark places. This one doesn't. Even with a Villain getting the Raiders of the Lost Ark death, it has no impact because there is zero character development. I think this could be the worst of all the main Disney movies because it smacks of being directed by an executive rather than an artist. The Source material is a complex world reminiscent of Tolkien, with flourishes of Welsh fables, and the movie is handled with all the care and skill of a bad episode of the Care Bears. In the movie, The Gandalf character is reduced to a silly old grandfather, and one one the major characters is eliminated. Imagine Lord of the Rings without Aragorn, or Star Wars without Han Solo. Would you want to watch anything with just Frodo or Luke showcasing their immaturity and incompetence to the world? No you wouldn't. Now imagine they've taken out Han Solo and leave you Jar Jar Binks. The Characters initiate a 'who's most useless?' contest and somehow defeat the Villain. And guess what, If your heroes are really, really lame, it makes the villain look worse, because he's look like Skeletor with antlers who can't stop a moron, a ditzy blonde, an eccentric octogenarian, and Fluffy Jar Jar from walking right into his fortress and messing everything up. There is nothing positive I can say about this turd sandwich.
-1/10
A Bug's Life - Ahhh, sweet relief, a Pixar film! They never make bad movies, right? WRONG! I didn't like it when it came out, and I like it even less now. It's by far my least favorite Pixar film because, with all the action sequences, the movie is boring. It starts with a really unlikeable protagonist. I'm shocked that the colony didn't just rise up and slay him. If your main character is a comically dangerous inventor, either his inventions need to be a) fun or b) not invite genocide. When our clumsy/overeager hero causes the disaster that sets the plot in motion, usually it's something more fun than knocking over the bribe you spent all summer gathering to prevent mass murder at the hands or a gang of murderous grasshoppers. There's a massive disconnect of tone. Kevin Spacey's hopper is in The Magnificent Seven, and Flik is in Three Amigos. Because of this, I found it very hard to root for Flik and his gang of crazy circus bugs. Don't get me wrong, the circus bugs are the best part of the film, but I don't want to waste time with screw-ups when there is an very real and terrifying threat. Flik's treated as an nuisance when he's demonstrated time and again that he's a threat to the survival of the colony. In that light, he's not a misunderstood outcast, he's a dangerous lunatic. Maybe I could go along with it if the underlying tone of the movie wasn't so grim, but when you're villain is eaten alive screaming for his life, it's not easy to be upbeat. That said, the worst effort of Pixar is still better than 90% of animated family films.
6/10
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
D.M.C.P. - The Aristocats, Treasure Planet, Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Triple play of duds this week. Let's get this over with,
The Aristocats - This is the 1st movie produced totally after Walt Disney's death (he died during Jungle Book) and it looks like they went out of their way to prove he was the heart and soul of the company. This movie has no heart, no plot, and almost no characters. Rich cats being kidnapped and slowly walking home with no real danger along the way does not make for a thrilling movie. In fact, I'd rather watch paint dry. The kittens have a few cute moments, but that's it. It feels like I put more effort into this paragraph than they did in the whole story.
2/10
Treasure Planet - This is actually a pretty cool adaptation of Treasure Island done all steam-punky and sci-fi. There is a ton of impressive animation in the artwork and design of this movie, and the characters are pretty well defined. Joseph Gordon Levitt does a nice job as Jim Hawkins, and David Hyde Pierce is his usual charmingly neurotic self. Emma Thompson does a great job as the space captain. Unfortunately, right when the movie is revving up for the 3rd act, you are subjected to Martin Short as a marooned robot. Think C-3PO meets Jar Jar Binks and you'll have an idea of how truly awful he is. It's almost a total movie killer. Fortunately the adventure is engrossing enough that you can sort of grit your teeth and get through it. The Heart of this movie is really with Long John Silver, as any decent adaptation should be. Here he looks like Jabba the Hutt, a borg, and your grandfather had a baby. The end result is a very unsettling looking dude, who is also quite charming. Despite his terrifying cyborg arm and eye, the animators and Actor Brian Murray give him enough weakness that you can't help but feel for the guy. Regardless of his high-tech prosthesis, he is a crippled and lonely man, desperate to find the treasure that will bring meaning to his life of piracy. It's not a glamorous portrayal, and his evil side certainly comes out, but in the end, his new found friendship with Jim wins out. It's a softer take on the character, but I think it's much more fascinating than a truly evil Silver would have been. He's like a much older Jack Sparrow in many ways. But still, Martin Short is in this movie, and the film suffers most when it goes for a slapstick humor that feels forced.
6.5/10
Atlantis: The Lost Empire
This movie could almost be called "Treasure Planet, Version 1.0" You have a protagonist who doesn't fit in and dreams of making a great discovery, an academic acquaintance funds his expedition and unwittingly hires the bad guys as part of the crew, then all the excess characters are unceremoniously killed off, and no one gets the full treasure. The problem with Atlantis is, there is no emotional core to this movie. Milo, played by Michael J. Fox, is way too boring to ultimately care about. He's basically James Spader's character from Stargate, all wide-eyed gee-whiz genius and no life experience. Unfortunately, there's no Kurt Russel here to bring a sense of reality. Leonard Nimoy is woefully underused, and James Garner is Stephan Lang from Avatar without the knife-wielding battle mech. For all the flashy animation, this movie is quite hallow and ultimately dull. On a truly Nerdy note, the young female mechanic in the movie reminded me an awful lot of Kaylee from Firefly. Guess why? Joss Whedon is listed as one of the screen writers for this movie! It's basically a prototype for the character Kaylee would become. And that's the best thing about this movie. That it probably helped inspire something much, much better. Also, James Garner turns into a Crystal Monster and is shredded by a propeller, so that's kinda neat.
4/10
On a side note, although I've certainly had my share of disappointments with this project, Disney studios never have anything less that brilliant animation. Even when the stories are bad, they're all at least lovely to look at.
The Aristocats - This is the 1st movie produced totally after Walt Disney's death (he died during Jungle Book) and it looks like they went out of their way to prove he was the heart and soul of the company. This movie has no heart, no plot, and almost no characters. Rich cats being kidnapped and slowly walking home with no real danger along the way does not make for a thrilling movie. In fact, I'd rather watch paint dry. The kittens have a few cute moments, but that's it. It feels like I put more effort into this paragraph than they did in the whole story.
2/10
Treasure Planet - This is actually a pretty cool adaptation of Treasure Island done all steam-punky and sci-fi. There is a ton of impressive animation in the artwork and design of this movie, and the characters are pretty well defined. Joseph Gordon Levitt does a nice job as Jim Hawkins, and David Hyde Pierce is his usual charmingly neurotic self. Emma Thompson does a great job as the space captain. Unfortunately, right when the movie is revving up for the 3rd act, you are subjected to Martin Short as a marooned robot. Think C-3PO meets Jar Jar Binks and you'll have an idea of how truly awful he is. It's almost a total movie killer. Fortunately the adventure is engrossing enough that you can sort of grit your teeth and get through it. The Heart of this movie is really with Long John Silver, as any decent adaptation should be. Here he looks like Jabba the Hutt, a borg, and your grandfather had a baby. The end result is a very unsettling looking dude, who is also quite charming. Despite his terrifying cyborg arm and eye, the animators and Actor Brian Murray give him enough weakness that you can't help but feel for the guy. Regardless of his high-tech prosthesis, he is a crippled and lonely man, desperate to find the treasure that will bring meaning to his life of piracy. It's not a glamorous portrayal, and his evil side certainly comes out, but in the end, his new found friendship with Jim wins out. It's a softer take on the character, but I think it's much more fascinating than a truly evil Silver would have been. He's like a much older Jack Sparrow in many ways. But still, Martin Short is in this movie, and the film suffers most when it goes for a slapstick humor that feels forced.
6.5/10
Atlantis: The Lost Empire
This movie could almost be called "Treasure Planet, Version 1.0" You have a protagonist who doesn't fit in and dreams of making a great discovery, an academic acquaintance funds his expedition and unwittingly hires the bad guys as part of the crew, then all the excess characters are unceremoniously killed off, and no one gets the full treasure. The problem with Atlantis is, there is no emotional core to this movie. Milo, played by Michael J. Fox, is way too boring to ultimately care about. He's basically James Spader's character from Stargate, all wide-eyed gee-whiz genius and no life experience. Unfortunately, there's no Kurt Russel here to bring a sense of reality. Leonard Nimoy is woefully underused, and James Garner is Stephan Lang from Avatar without the knife-wielding battle mech. For all the flashy animation, this movie is quite hallow and ultimately dull. On a truly Nerdy note, the young female mechanic in the movie reminded me an awful lot of Kaylee from Firefly. Guess why? Joss Whedon is listed as one of the screen writers for this movie! It's basically a prototype for the character Kaylee would become. And that's the best thing about this movie. That it probably helped inspire something much, much better. Also, James Garner turns into a Crystal Monster and is shredded by a propeller, so that's kinda neat.
4/10
On a side note, although I've certainly had my share of disappointments with this project, Disney studios never have anything less that brilliant animation. Even when the stories are bad, they're all at least lovely to look at.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Disney Movie Completion Project Part 1
So I'm back from Disney World, and that stinks, so I'm coping by finishing what I started with the countdown; I'm going to watch all 50 Disney Animated features, plus Pixar. There's little rhyme or reason to the order, so you'll just have wait to find out what's next. Today I'm covering The Three Cabelleros, Saludos Amigos, Hercules, and Tarzan.
Three Cabelleros and Saludos Amigos - These are basically travel films about Mexico and South America. There are a few good moments, but mostly these are an relic of the 1940s, something to keep Disney in production while most of his staff fought in WWII.
Cabelleros - 3/10
Amigos - 2/10
Hercules - What a hot mess. This movie is all over the place and has a hard time disneyfying Greek myth for a Judeo-Christian audience. Music is the highlight of the movie, as is James Woods as Hades. Meg is the emotional center of the film which is a shame, since she's a supporting character. Mediocre is the order of the day here. Oh Well.
5.5/10
Tarzan - So this movie came out right after Mulan, which, you may remember I wouldn't watch when it came out because of my hatred of Donny Osmond. I also recall being rather offended my the existence of Phil Collins. I was a high school freshmen, and highly unappreciative that he's one of the greatest percussionists in the history of rock and roll and the ideal artist for a jungle adventure. Anyway, this movie rocks. There action set pieces are thrilling, and there's danger everywhere. It's basically a more dramatic and serious version of Jungle Book, with more tragic consequences. This movie also features quite a brutal death for the villian. If you haven't seen this one in a while, check it out!
8/10
Three Cabelleros and Saludos Amigos - These are basically travel films about Mexico and South America. There are a few good moments, but mostly these are an relic of the 1940s, something to keep Disney in production while most of his staff fought in WWII.
Cabelleros - 3/10
Amigos - 2/10
Hercules - What a hot mess. This movie is all over the place and has a hard time disneyfying Greek myth for a Judeo-Christian audience. Music is the highlight of the movie, as is James Woods as Hades. Meg is the emotional center of the film which is a shame, since she's a supporting character. Mediocre is the order of the day here. Oh Well.
5.5/10
Tarzan - So this movie came out right after Mulan, which, you may remember I wouldn't watch when it came out because of my hatred of Donny Osmond. I also recall being rather offended my the existence of Phil Collins. I was a high school freshmen, and highly unappreciative that he's one of the greatest percussionists in the history of rock and roll and the ideal artist for a jungle adventure. Anyway, this movie rocks. There action set pieces are thrilling, and there's danger everywhere. It's basically a more dramatic and serious version of Jungle Book, with more tragic consequences. This movie also features quite a brutal death for the villian. If you haven't seen this one in a while, check it out!
8/10
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 1 - Up
Grab your kleenex (or barf bag), I'm about to get mushy.
Up was the theme to my wedding. The opening scene of Carl and Ellie's relationship is the best 15 minutes of Storytelling I've ever seen. It's their never ending support and love for each other that I strive for in my own marriage. I've found the person I want to share all my life's adventures with, and tomorrow we begin a new one. The reason for this countdown is that tomorrow, I'm taking my new bride to Disney World for our Honeymoon. We have our adventure badges and our adventure book (hand made by my mother) is waiting at home to receive it's newest entries. I can't wait!!!!
As far as the movie is concerned, after the opening scene reduces me to a blubbering mess, We get a remarkably personal story of a man learning to live after his reason for living is gone. We also get Russel (who's way cuter than Boo in Monster's Inc!), talking dogs, and a fantastic adventure. Pixar has raised a bar that they may never be able to top. As I was watching the movie again tonight, I was most struck by the moment when Carl, after finally reaching his destination, resets his chair next to Ellie's. He turns to the chair and has a painful realization that she's never coming back. It's a brief moment, but it's heartbreaking. And then he finds the rest of the adventure book, and I need another tissue.
On a lighter note, I love that this movie has a joke about snipe hunting. If you had to have it explained to you, you had a very sad childhood, and you have my pity. If I ever have a kid, I want one like Russel. He's the best. If you'll forgive me, I need to go to bed now as I have an early flight to catch. I hope you've enjoyed this countdown, and I look forward to some follow up posts when I get back. Thank you for reading, now if you'll excuse me, I'M GOIN' TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Up was the theme to my wedding. The opening scene of Carl and Ellie's relationship is the best 15 minutes of Storytelling I've ever seen. It's their never ending support and love for each other that I strive for in my own marriage. I've found the person I want to share all my life's adventures with, and tomorrow we begin a new one. The reason for this countdown is that tomorrow, I'm taking my new bride to Disney World for our Honeymoon. We have our adventure badges and our adventure book (hand made by my mother) is waiting at home to receive it's newest entries. I can't wait!!!!
As far as the movie is concerned, after the opening scene reduces me to a blubbering mess, We get a remarkably personal story of a man learning to live after his reason for living is gone. We also get Russel (who's way cuter than Boo in Monster's Inc!), talking dogs, and a fantastic adventure. Pixar has raised a bar that they may never be able to top. As I was watching the movie again tonight, I was most struck by the moment when Carl, after finally reaching his destination, resets his chair next to Ellie's. He turns to the chair and has a painful realization that she's never coming back. It's a brief moment, but it's heartbreaking. And then he finds the rest of the adventure book, and I need another tissue.
On a lighter note, I love that this movie has a joke about snipe hunting. If you had to have it explained to you, you had a very sad childhood, and you have my pity. If I ever have a kid, I want one like Russel. He's the best. If you'll forgive me, I need to go to bed now as I have an early flight to catch. I hope you've enjoyed this countdown, and I look forward to some follow up posts when I get back. Thank you for reading, now if you'll excuse me, I'M GOIN' TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disney Movie Countdown Day 2 - The Princess and the Frog
A New Orleans twist on the fairy tale, The Princess and the Frog is a blast that grows on you with every viewing. If your aren't craving beignets and etouffe by the end of this movie, there's something wrong with you.
Princess Tiana is a nice twist on a Disney Princess, and Prince Naveen is a wonderfully charming rogue. They have nice parallel story arcs that bring them together; Tiana learns to let people in, and Naveen learns to be responsible. The Shadow Man is wonderfully played by Keith David. That man's voice is built to terrify, but Disney does a nice job of playing up his weaknesses too. He does have quite an upsetting demise, what with getting dragged to hell by demons and all, but I suppose that's what you get for playing with Voodoo. I loved all the southern touches to this movie, the food, the voodoo, the music, and the different cultures. They do a nice job of showing the racial inequality of the deep south without belaboring the point. You can see the second class status of Tiana and the other black characters without turning the movie into "ROOTS: for Kids!" I also loved the inclusion of the cajun culture. Ray the firefly is one of my favorite characters, and his death is one the cruelest in all of Disney. He is literally the light of this movie, and I'll admit it got a little dusty when he passed on, and even dustier when he was united with Evangeline.
Lastly, the Trumpet is my favorite instrument, and having a aligator who is also a trumpet virtuoso is a nice touch. For those who don't know, this movie is the reason we are staying at the Port Orleans resort in Walt Disney World.
9/10
Up next, Up!
Princess Tiana is a nice twist on a Disney Princess, and Prince Naveen is a wonderfully charming rogue. They have nice parallel story arcs that bring them together; Tiana learns to let people in, and Naveen learns to be responsible. The Shadow Man is wonderfully played by Keith David. That man's voice is built to terrify, but Disney does a nice job of playing up his weaknesses too. He does have quite an upsetting demise, what with getting dragged to hell by demons and all, but I suppose that's what you get for playing with Voodoo. I loved all the southern touches to this movie, the food, the voodoo, the music, and the different cultures. They do a nice job of showing the racial inequality of the deep south without belaboring the point. You can see the second class status of Tiana and the other black characters without turning the movie into "ROOTS: for Kids!" I also loved the inclusion of the cajun culture. Ray the firefly is one of my favorite characters, and his death is one the cruelest in all of Disney. He is literally the light of this movie, and I'll admit it got a little dusty when he passed on, and even dustier when he was united with Evangeline.
Lastly, the Trumpet is my favorite instrument, and having a aligator who is also a trumpet virtuoso is a nice touch. For those who don't know, this movie is the reason we are staying at the Port Orleans resort in Walt Disney World.
9/10
Up next, Up!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 3 - Aladdin
How do you accurately describe the movie that defined your childhood? I found I could still pretty much quote this movie verbatim, and I was transported back to the days where my friends and I would re-enact the Price Ali song, silly voices and all. I got a little giddy I won't lie.
This movie is a perfect fairy tale for boys. It is the rare instance where the male lead is the one dreaming of becoming a prince, instead of the other way around. I recently read an article chastising Jasmine for falling for a hobo like Aladdin. While it's often fun to be snarky about Disney movies (I've been guilty of it during this countdown) calling Aladdin just a hobo misses the whole point of the movie. It's like calling Belle just a nerd. The whole movie is about a man who is worth more than the world knows. He's a Diamond in the rough, an exceptional human being in a sea of filth. That's why he can go into the cave in the first place. He's not just a poor man with a heart of gold. He is a man destined to greatness. He is worthy of the genie's lamp because he is the rare man with the ability to use it responsibly. He wishes to be a prince, not to seek power, but to be worthy of the woman he loves. The reason Jafar almost wins isn't because Aladdin is greedy, or cruel or flawed. It's because the thought of being in power terrified him. Aladdin demonstrates the best quality you could want in a leader; he doesn't want the power. He'll make a great ruler because his natural impulse is to care for and serve people, not dictate to them. We could use a few more leaders who comprehend the vast responsibility demanded of them.
The other Characters in this movie are fantastic. Jasmine is a strong woman who wants to have an active role in her destiny, and refuses to be just a decoration. She's almost an anti-princess, and one of the better role models in the Disney cannon. She realizes that freedom is better than wealth. She's willing to shun the life of luxury for a chance to make her own choices. The genie is every bit as great as you remember. Robin Williams isn't doing anything he hasn't done before, but his energy is incredibly infectious and you can't help but have fun with him.
I noticed an unusual thing about this movie; the four main characters all have a sidekick. Aladdin has Abu, Jasmine has Raja, Jafar has Iago, and the Genie has the flying carpet. Disney usually keeps the sidekicks to a minimum, but each one is a great compliment to their corresponding character. The carpet is the Genie's shy side, Abu is Aladdin's mischievous side, Raja represents Jasmine's independence and determination, and Iago is the Costello to Jafar's Abott.
Needless to say, I freaking love this movie. Up next, The Princess and the Frog
10/10
This movie is a perfect fairy tale for boys. It is the rare instance where the male lead is the one dreaming of becoming a prince, instead of the other way around. I recently read an article chastising Jasmine for falling for a hobo like Aladdin. While it's often fun to be snarky about Disney movies (I've been guilty of it during this countdown) calling Aladdin just a hobo misses the whole point of the movie. It's like calling Belle just a nerd. The whole movie is about a man who is worth more than the world knows. He's a Diamond in the rough, an exceptional human being in a sea of filth. That's why he can go into the cave in the first place. He's not just a poor man with a heart of gold. He is a man destined to greatness. He is worthy of the genie's lamp because he is the rare man with the ability to use it responsibly. He wishes to be a prince, not to seek power, but to be worthy of the woman he loves. The reason Jafar almost wins isn't because Aladdin is greedy, or cruel or flawed. It's because the thought of being in power terrified him. Aladdin demonstrates the best quality you could want in a leader; he doesn't want the power. He'll make a great ruler because his natural impulse is to care for and serve people, not dictate to them. We could use a few more leaders who comprehend the vast responsibility demanded of them.
The other Characters in this movie are fantastic. Jasmine is a strong woman who wants to have an active role in her destiny, and refuses to be just a decoration. She's almost an anti-princess, and one of the better role models in the Disney cannon. She realizes that freedom is better than wealth. She's willing to shun the life of luxury for a chance to make her own choices. The genie is every bit as great as you remember. Robin Williams isn't doing anything he hasn't done before, but his energy is incredibly infectious and you can't help but have fun with him.
I noticed an unusual thing about this movie; the four main characters all have a sidekick. Aladdin has Abu, Jasmine has Raja, Jafar has Iago, and the Genie has the flying carpet. Disney usually keeps the sidekicks to a minimum, but each one is a great compliment to their corresponding character. The carpet is the Genie's shy side, Abu is Aladdin's mischievous side, Raja represents Jasmine's independence and determination, and Iago is the Costello to Jafar's Abott.
Needless to say, I freaking love this movie. Up next, The Princess and the Frog
10/10
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