Boy Disney is really making the project a chore. Today we have three films, from 3 different eras, and all of them are pretty bad. So Let's go Chronologically.
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad - I'd always been curious to see The Wind in the Willows featuring Mr. Toad. I'd heard all about Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and was under the impression that this was some sort of hidden Disney gem. Nope. For anyone who thinks children's stories only recently devolved into loud noises, action and no plot, I give you this piece of spastic storytelling. Mr. Toad is a lunatic and the whole thing is a sloppy nonsensical mess. The fight against the weasels is looney toons style slapstick without the fun. The legend of Sleepy Hallow fares better. It's always nice to hear Bing Crosby Narrate anything. But mostly this is a story about two unlikeable men fighting over a pretty rich girl with no character at all. It's more charming than Mr. Toad, but ultimately it's pretty forgettable.
3/10
The Black Cauldron - Every time someone complains about a story being Disneyfied, this is what they are talking about. Disney movies are no stranger to some pretty mature themes and they do go to some dark places. This one doesn't. Even with a Villain getting the Raiders of the Lost Ark death, it has no impact because there is zero character development. I think this could be the worst of all the main Disney movies because it smacks of being directed by an executive rather than an artist. The Source material is a complex world reminiscent of Tolkien, with flourishes of Welsh fables, and the movie is handled with all the care and skill of a bad episode of the Care Bears. In the movie, The Gandalf character is reduced to a silly old grandfather, and one one the major characters is eliminated. Imagine Lord of the Rings without Aragorn, or Star Wars without Han Solo. Would you want to watch anything with just Frodo or Luke showcasing their immaturity and incompetence to the world? No you wouldn't. Now imagine they've taken out Han Solo and leave you Jar Jar Binks. The Characters initiate a 'who's most useless?' contest and somehow defeat the Villain. And guess what, If your heroes are really, really lame, it makes the villain look worse, because he's look like Skeletor with antlers who can't stop a moron, a ditzy blonde, an eccentric octogenarian, and Fluffy Jar Jar from walking right into his fortress and messing everything up. There is nothing positive I can say about this turd sandwich.
-1/10
A Bug's Life - Ahhh, sweet relief, a Pixar film! They never make bad movies, right? WRONG! I didn't like it when it came out, and I like it even less now. It's by far my least favorite Pixar film because, with all the action sequences, the movie is boring. It starts with a really unlikeable protagonist. I'm shocked that the colony didn't just rise up and slay him. If your main character is a comically dangerous inventor, either his inventions need to be a) fun or b) not invite genocide. When our clumsy/overeager hero causes the disaster that sets the plot in motion, usually it's something more fun than knocking over the bribe you spent all summer gathering to prevent mass murder at the hands or a gang of murderous grasshoppers. There's a massive disconnect of tone. Kevin Spacey's hopper is in The Magnificent Seven, and Flik is in Three Amigos. Because of this, I found it very hard to root for Flik and his gang of crazy circus bugs. Don't get me wrong, the circus bugs are the best part of the film, but I don't want to waste time with screw-ups when there is an very real and terrifying threat. Flik's treated as an nuisance when he's demonstrated time and again that he's a threat to the survival of the colony. In that light, he's not a misunderstood outcast, he's a dangerous lunatic. Maybe I could go along with it if the underlying tone of the movie wasn't so grim, but when you're villain is eaten alive screaming for his life, it's not easy to be upbeat. That said, the worst effort of Pixar is still better than 90% of animated family films.
6/10
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
D.M.C.P. - The Aristocats, Treasure Planet, Atlantis: The Lost Empire
Triple play of duds this week. Let's get this over with,
The Aristocats - This is the 1st movie produced totally after Walt Disney's death (he died during Jungle Book) and it looks like they went out of their way to prove he was the heart and soul of the company. This movie has no heart, no plot, and almost no characters. Rich cats being kidnapped and slowly walking home with no real danger along the way does not make for a thrilling movie. In fact, I'd rather watch paint dry. The kittens have a few cute moments, but that's it. It feels like I put more effort into this paragraph than they did in the whole story.
2/10
Treasure Planet - This is actually a pretty cool adaptation of Treasure Island done all steam-punky and sci-fi. There is a ton of impressive animation in the artwork and design of this movie, and the characters are pretty well defined. Joseph Gordon Levitt does a nice job as Jim Hawkins, and David Hyde Pierce is his usual charmingly neurotic self. Emma Thompson does a great job as the space captain. Unfortunately, right when the movie is revving up for the 3rd act, you are subjected to Martin Short as a marooned robot. Think C-3PO meets Jar Jar Binks and you'll have an idea of how truly awful he is. It's almost a total movie killer. Fortunately the adventure is engrossing enough that you can sort of grit your teeth and get through it. The Heart of this movie is really with Long John Silver, as any decent adaptation should be. Here he looks like Jabba the Hutt, a borg, and your grandfather had a baby. The end result is a very unsettling looking dude, who is also quite charming. Despite his terrifying cyborg arm and eye, the animators and Actor Brian Murray give him enough weakness that you can't help but feel for the guy. Regardless of his high-tech prosthesis, he is a crippled and lonely man, desperate to find the treasure that will bring meaning to his life of piracy. It's not a glamorous portrayal, and his evil side certainly comes out, but in the end, his new found friendship with Jim wins out. It's a softer take on the character, but I think it's much more fascinating than a truly evil Silver would have been. He's like a much older Jack Sparrow in many ways. But still, Martin Short is in this movie, and the film suffers most when it goes for a slapstick humor that feels forced.
6.5/10
Atlantis: The Lost Empire
This movie could almost be called "Treasure Planet, Version 1.0" You have a protagonist who doesn't fit in and dreams of making a great discovery, an academic acquaintance funds his expedition and unwittingly hires the bad guys as part of the crew, then all the excess characters are unceremoniously killed off, and no one gets the full treasure. The problem with Atlantis is, there is no emotional core to this movie. Milo, played by Michael J. Fox, is way too boring to ultimately care about. He's basically James Spader's character from Stargate, all wide-eyed gee-whiz genius and no life experience. Unfortunately, there's no Kurt Russel here to bring a sense of reality. Leonard Nimoy is woefully underused, and James Garner is Stephan Lang from Avatar without the knife-wielding battle mech. For all the flashy animation, this movie is quite hallow and ultimately dull. On a truly Nerdy note, the young female mechanic in the movie reminded me an awful lot of Kaylee from Firefly. Guess why? Joss Whedon is listed as one of the screen writers for this movie! It's basically a prototype for the character Kaylee would become. And that's the best thing about this movie. That it probably helped inspire something much, much better. Also, James Garner turns into a Crystal Monster and is shredded by a propeller, so that's kinda neat.
4/10
On a side note, although I've certainly had my share of disappointments with this project, Disney studios never have anything less that brilliant animation. Even when the stories are bad, they're all at least lovely to look at.
The Aristocats - This is the 1st movie produced totally after Walt Disney's death (he died during Jungle Book) and it looks like they went out of their way to prove he was the heart and soul of the company. This movie has no heart, no plot, and almost no characters. Rich cats being kidnapped and slowly walking home with no real danger along the way does not make for a thrilling movie. In fact, I'd rather watch paint dry. The kittens have a few cute moments, but that's it. It feels like I put more effort into this paragraph than they did in the whole story.
2/10
Treasure Planet - This is actually a pretty cool adaptation of Treasure Island done all steam-punky and sci-fi. There is a ton of impressive animation in the artwork and design of this movie, and the characters are pretty well defined. Joseph Gordon Levitt does a nice job as Jim Hawkins, and David Hyde Pierce is his usual charmingly neurotic self. Emma Thompson does a great job as the space captain. Unfortunately, right when the movie is revving up for the 3rd act, you are subjected to Martin Short as a marooned robot. Think C-3PO meets Jar Jar Binks and you'll have an idea of how truly awful he is. It's almost a total movie killer. Fortunately the adventure is engrossing enough that you can sort of grit your teeth and get through it. The Heart of this movie is really with Long John Silver, as any decent adaptation should be. Here he looks like Jabba the Hutt, a borg, and your grandfather had a baby. The end result is a very unsettling looking dude, who is also quite charming. Despite his terrifying cyborg arm and eye, the animators and Actor Brian Murray give him enough weakness that you can't help but feel for the guy. Regardless of his high-tech prosthesis, he is a crippled and lonely man, desperate to find the treasure that will bring meaning to his life of piracy. It's not a glamorous portrayal, and his evil side certainly comes out, but in the end, his new found friendship with Jim wins out. It's a softer take on the character, but I think it's much more fascinating than a truly evil Silver would have been. He's like a much older Jack Sparrow in many ways. But still, Martin Short is in this movie, and the film suffers most when it goes for a slapstick humor that feels forced.
6.5/10
Atlantis: The Lost Empire
This movie could almost be called "Treasure Planet, Version 1.0" You have a protagonist who doesn't fit in and dreams of making a great discovery, an academic acquaintance funds his expedition and unwittingly hires the bad guys as part of the crew, then all the excess characters are unceremoniously killed off, and no one gets the full treasure. The problem with Atlantis is, there is no emotional core to this movie. Milo, played by Michael J. Fox, is way too boring to ultimately care about. He's basically James Spader's character from Stargate, all wide-eyed gee-whiz genius and no life experience. Unfortunately, there's no Kurt Russel here to bring a sense of reality. Leonard Nimoy is woefully underused, and James Garner is Stephan Lang from Avatar without the knife-wielding battle mech. For all the flashy animation, this movie is quite hallow and ultimately dull. On a truly Nerdy note, the young female mechanic in the movie reminded me an awful lot of Kaylee from Firefly. Guess why? Joss Whedon is listed as one of the screen writers for this movie! It's basically a prototype for the character Kaylee would become. And that's the best thing about this movie. That it probably helped inspire something much, much better. Also, James Garner turns into a Crystal Monster and is shredded by a propeller, so that's kinda neat.
4/10
On a side note, although I've certainly had my share of disappointments with this project, Disney studios never have anything less that brilliant animation. Even when the stories are bad, they're all at least lovely to look at.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Disney Movie Completion Project Part 1
So I'm back from Disney World, and that stinks, so I'm coping by finishing what I started with the countdown; I'm going to watch all 50 Disney Animated features, plus Pixar. There's little rhyme or reason to the order, so you'll just have wait to find out what's next. Today I'm covering The Three Cabelleros, Saludos Amigos, Hercules, and Tarzan.
Three Cabelleros and Saludos Amigos - These are basically travel films about Mexico and South America. There are a few good moments, but mostly these are an relic of the 1940s, something to keep Disney in production while most of his staff fought in WWII.
Cabelleros - 3/10
Amigos - 2/10
Hercules - What a hot mess. This movie is all over the place and has a hard time disneyfying Greek myth for a Judeo-Christian audience. Music is the highlight of the movie, as is James Woods as Hades. Meg is the emotional center of the film which is a shame, since she's a supporting character. Mediocre is the order of the day here. Oh Well.
5.5/10
Tarzan - So this movie came out right after Mulan, which, you may remember I wouldn't watch when it came out because of my hatred of Donny Osmond. I also recall being rather offended my the existence of Phil Collins. I was a high school freshmen, and highly unappreciative that he's one of the greatest percussionists in the history of rock and roll and the ideal artist for a jungle adventure. Anyway, this movie rocks. There action set pieces are thrilling, and there's danger everywhere. It's basically a more dramatic and serious version of Jungle Book, with more tragic consequences. This movie also features quite a brutal death for the villian. If you haven't seen this one in a while, check it out!
8/10
Three Cabelleros and Saludos Amigos - These are basically travel films about Mexico and South America. There are a few good moments, but mostly these are an relic of the 1940s, something to keep Disney in production while most of his staff fought in WWII.
Cabelleros - 3/10
Amigos - 2/10
Hercules - What a hot mess. This movie is all over the place and has a hard time disneyfying Greek myth for a Judeo-Christian audience. Music is the highlight of the movie, as is James Woods as Hades. Meg is the emotional center of the film which is a shame, since she's a supporting character. Mediocre is the order of the day here. Oh Well.
5.5/10
Tarzan - So this movie came out right after Mulan, which, you may remember I wouldn't watch when it came out because of my hatred of Donny Osmond. I also recall being rather offended my the existence of Phil Collins. I was a high school freshmen, and highly unappreciative that he's one of the greatest percussionists in the history of rock and roll and the ideal artist for a jungle adventure. Anyway, this movie rocks. There action set pieces are thrilling, and there's danger everywhere. It's basically a more dramatic and serious version of Jungle Book, with more tragic consequences. This movie also features quite a brutal death for the villian. If you haven't seen this one in a while, check it out!
8/10
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 1 - Up
Grab your kleenex (or barf bag), I'm about to get mushy.
Up was the theme to my wedding. The opening scene of Carl and Ellie's relationship is the best 15 minutes of Storytelling I've ever seen. It's their never ending support and love for each other that I strive for in my own marriage. I've found the person I want to share all my life's adventures with, and tomorrow we begin a new one. The reason for this countdown is that tomorrow, I'm taking my new bride to Disney World for our Honeymoon. We have our adventure badges and our adventure book (hand made by my mother) is waiting at home to receive it's newest entries. I can't wait!!!!
As far as the movie is concerned, after the opening scene reduces me to a blubbering mess, We get a remarkably personal story of a man learning to live after his reason for living is gone. We also get Russel (who's way cuter than Boo in Monster's Inc!), talking dogs, and a fantastic adventure. Pixar has raised a bar that they may never be able to top. As I was watching the movie again tonight, I was most struck by the moment when Carl, after finally reaching his destination, resets his chair next to Ellie's. He turns to the chair and has a painful realization that she's never coming back. It's a brief moment, but it's heartbreaking. And then he finds the rest of the adventure book, and I need another tissue.
On a lighter note, I love that this movie has a joke about snipe hunting. If you had to have it explained to you, you had a very sad childhood, and you have my pity. If I ever have a kid, I want one like Russel. He's the best. If you'll forgive me, I need to go to bed now as I have an early flight to catch. I hope you've enjoyed this countdown, and I look forward to some follow up posts when I get back. Thank you for reading, now if you'll excuse me, I'M GOIN' TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Up was the theme to my wedding. The opening scene of Carl and Ellie's relationship is the best 15 minutes of Storytelling I've ever seen. It's their never ending support and love for each other that I strive for in my own marriage. I've found the person I want to share all my life's adventures with, and tomorrow we begin a new one. The reason for this countdown is that tomorrow, I'm taking my new bride to Disney World for our Honeymoon. We have our adventure badges and our adventure book (hand made by my mother) is waiting at home to receive it's newest entries. I can't wait!!!!
As far as the movie is concerned, after the opening scene reduces me to a blubbering mess, We get a remarkably personal story of a man learning to live after his reason for living is gone. We also get Russel (who's way cuter than Boo in Monster's Inc!), talking dogs, and a fantastic adventure. Pixar has raised a bar that they may never be able to top. As I was watching the movie again tonight, I was most struck by the moment when Carl, after finally reaching his destination, resets his chair next to Ellie's. He turns to the chair and has a painful realization that she's never coming back. It's a brief moment, but it's heartbreaking. And then he finds the rest of the adventure book, and I need another tissue.
On a lighter note, I love that this movie has a joke about snipe hunting. If you had to have it explained to you, you had a very sad childhood, and you have my pity. If I ever have a kid, I want one like Russel. He's the best. If you'll forgive me, I need to go to bed now as I have an early flight to catch. I hope you've enjoyed this countdown, and I look forward to some follow up posts when I get back. Thank you for reading, now if you'll excuse me, I'M GOIN' TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disney Movie Countdown Day 2 - The Princess and the Frog
A New Orleans twist on the fairy tale, The Princess and the Frog is a blast that grows on you with every viewing. If your aren't craving beignets and etouffe by the end of this movie, there's something wrong with you.
Princess Tiana is a nice twist on a Disney Princess, and Prince Naveen is a wonderfully charming rogue. They have nice parallel story arcs that bring them together; Tiana learns to let people in, and Naveen learns to be responsible. The Shadow Man is wonderfully played by Keith David. That man's voice is built to terrify, but Disney does a nice job of playing up his weaknesses too. He does have quite an upsetting demise, what with getting dragged to hell by demons and all, but I suppose that's what you get for playing with Voodoo. I loved all the southern touches to this movie, the food, the voodoo, the music, and the different cultures. They do a nice job of showing the racial inequality of the deep south without belaboring the point. You can see the second class status of Tiana and the other black characters without turning the movie into "ROOTS: for Kids!" I also loved the inclusion of the cajun culture. Ray the firefly is one of my favorite characters, and his death is one the cruelest in all of Disney. He is literally the light of this movie, and I'll admit it got a little dusty when he passed on, and even dustier when he was united with Evangeline.
Lastly, the Trumpet is my favorite instrument, and having a aligator who is also a trumpet virtuoso is a nice touch. For those who don't know, this movie is the reason we are staying at the Port Orleans resort in Walt Disney World.
9/10
Up next, Up!
Princess Tiana is a nice twist on a Disney Princess, and Prince Naveen is a wonderfully charming rogue. They have nice parallel story arcs that bring them together; Tiana learns to let people in, and Naveen learns to be responsible. The Shadow Man is wonderfully played by Keith David. That man's voice is built to terrify, but Disney does a nice job of playing up his weaknesses too. He does have quite an upsetting demise, what with getting dragged to hell by demons and all, but I suppose that's what you get for playing with Voodoo. I loved all the southern touches to this movie, the food, the voodoo, the music, and the different cultures. They do a nice job of showing the racial inequality of the deep south without belaboring the point. You can see the second class status of Tiana and the other black characters without turning the movie into "ROOTS: for Kids!" I also loved the inclusion of the cajun culture. Ray the firefly is one of my favorite characters, and his death is one the cruelest in all of Disney. He is literally the light of this movie, and I'll admit it got a little dusty when he passed on, and even dustier when he was united with Evangeline.
Lastly, the Trumpet is my favorite instrument, and having a aligator who is also a trumpet virtuoso is a nice touch. For those who don't know, this movie is the reason we are staying at the Port Orleans resort in Walt Disney World.
9/10
Up next, Up!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 3 - Aladdin
How do you accurately describe the movie that defined your childhood? I found I could still pretty much quote this movie verbatim, and I was transported back to the days where my friends and I would re-enact the Price Ali song, silly voices and all. I got a little giddy I won't lie.
This movie is a perfect fairy tale for boys. It is the rare instance where the male lead is the one dreaming of becoming a prince, instead of the other way around. I recently read an article chastising Jasmine for falling for a hobo like Aladdin. While it's often fun to be snarky about Disney movies (I've been guilty of it during this countdown) calling Aladdin just a hobo misses the whole point of the movie. It's like calling Belle just a nerd. The whole movie is about a man who is worth more than the world knows. He's a Diamond in the rough, an exceptional human being in a sea of filth. That's why he can go into the cave in the first place. He's not just a poor man with a heart of gold. He is a man destined to greatness. He is worthy of the genie's lamp because he is the rare man with the ability to use it responsibly. He wishes to be a prince, not to seek power, but to be worthy of the woman he loves. The reason Jafar almost wins isn't because Aladdin is greedy, or cruel or flawed. It's because the thought of being in power terrified him. Aladdin demonstrates the best quality you could want in a leader; he doesn't want the power. He'll make a great ruler because his natural impulse is to care for and serve people, not dictate to them. We could use a few more leaders who comprehend the vast responsibility demanded of them.
The other Characters in this movie are fantastic. Jasmine is a strong woman who wants to have an active role in her destiny, and refuses to be just a decoration. She's almost an anti-princess, and one of the better role models in the Disney cannon. She realizes that freedom is better than wealth. She's willing to shun the life of luxury for a chance to make her own choices. The genie is every bit as great as you remember. Robin Williams isn't doing anything he hasn't done before, but his energy is incredibly infectious and you can't help but have fun with him.
I noticed an unusual thing about this movie; the four main characters all have a sidekick. Aladdin has Abu, Jasmine has Raja, Jafar has Iago, and the Genie has the flying carpet. Disney usually keeps the sidekicks to a minimum, but each one is a great compliment to their corresponding character. The carpet is the Genie's shy side, Abu is Aladdin's mischievous side, Raja represents Jasmine's independence and determination, and Iago is the Costello to Jafar's Abott.
Needless to say, I freaking love this movie. Up next, The Princess and the Frog
10/10
This movie is a perfect fairy tale for boys. It is the rare instance where the male lead is the one dreaming of becoming a prince, instead of the other way around. I recently read an article chastising Jasmine for falling for a hobo like Aladdin. While it's often fun to be snarky about Disney movies (I've been guilty of it during this countdown) calling Aladdin just a hobo misses the whole point of the movie. It's like calling Belle just a nerd. The whole movie is about a man who is worth more than the world knows. He's a Diamond in the rough, an exceptional human being in a sea of filth. That's why he can go into the cave in the first place. He's not just a poor man with a heart of gold. He is a man destined to greatness. He is worthy of the genie's lamp because he is the rare man with the ability to use it responsibly. He wishes to be a prince, not to seek power, but to be worthy of the woman he loves. The reason Jafar almost wins isn't because Aladdin is greedy, or cruel or flawed. It's because the thought of being in power terrified him. Aladdin demonstrates the best quality you could want in a leader; he doesn't want the power. He'll make a great ruler because his natural impulse is to care for and serve people, not dictate to them. We could use a few more leaders who comprehend the vast responsibility demanded of them.
The other Characters in this movie are fantastic. Jasmine is a strong woman who wants to have an active role in her destiny, and refuses to be just a decoration. She's almost an anti-princess, and one of the better role models in the Disney cannon. She realizes that freedom is better than wealth. She's willing to shun the life of luxury for a chance to make her own choices. The genie is every bit as great as you remember. Robin Williams isn't doing anything he hasn't done before, but his energy is incredibly infectious and you can't help but have fun with him.
I noticed an unusual thing about this movie; the four main characters all have a sidekick. Aladdin has Abu, Jasmine has Raja, Jafar has Iago, and the Genie has the flying carpet. Disney usually keeps the sidekicks to a minimum, but each one is a great compliment to their corresponding character. The carpet is the Genie's shy side, Abu is Aladdin's mischievous side, Raja represents Jasmine's independence and determination, and Iago is the Costello to Jafar's Abott.
Needless to say, I freaking love this movie. Up next, The Princess and the Frog
10/10
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 4 - Monsters Inc
Monster's Inc. suffers from what came after it. Watching it, I can't help wishing for Wall-E, Up, Ratatouille, Finding Nemo, etc... Monster's inc is a good movie, but it doesn't reach the levels of greatness that would come after. In fact, if you take away Boo, or made her less adorable, there isn't much to hold this movie together. The voices and animation are all great, but the story is kind of blah. It's has it's moments (The abominable snowman scene is pretty great) But a factory, even a cool monster factory, just isn't a very exciting location for a movie. I'd much rather spend time in Monstropolis or the real world. Also, for some reason, the villians in this movie aren't threatening. Even when they're trying to capture Boo, you always know that Sully, the biggest and scariest monster, will be able to win out. I wonder what this movie would have been like if Sully was up against more physically imposing foes? I like the movie enough that I will watch it again, but It has enough problems that I'll probably be surfing the internet too.
7/10
Tonight: Aladdin!
7/10
Tonight: Aladdin!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 5 - Bambi
I'd forgotten the entire second half of Bambi. Remember when he falls in love? And another deer tries to steal his girl? So he throws him over a cliff? remember when he takes out a mob of dogs and gets shot, and still outruns a forrest fire?! Yeah, he does all that. Bambi grows up to be kind of a badass. Everybody remembers Bambi as a little baby and that his mom get shot. That's about it, maybe they remember Thumper and Flower.
My point is, there's a lot more to this movie than I thought. Also, what's up with the hunter's in this movie?! Does this take place before the DNR? How come Bambi's mom is shot in the spring? Rifle season is in the fall! Later, they go on a "let's kill everything that moves" rampage. Seriously. They shoot at deer, pheasants, chipmunks, and everything else that in the woods, including the dirt. Then they send a pack of dogs to kill whatever was still breathing. Who shoots at deer and chipmunks with the same rifle? Do you know what a high-powered deer rifle will do to a chipmunk? Instant meat smoothie, that's what! And why are the dogs running in a pack toward live animals?! Isn't the whole point of a hunting dog to retrieve your kill? It's like a bunch of rednecks mixed their crystal meth with their beer and went, "BUBBA!!! WE GOTTA KILL EVERYTHING THAT MOVES SO THE WORMS IN MY HEAD STOP SCREAMING!!! AHHHHHHHH" Disney is almost as fair to hunters as he is to the Native Americans in Peter Pan.
All things considered though, this movie is actually pretty dull. At 70 minutes, it feels too long, and the first half of the movie is aimed at very young children while the second half will go right over their heads. The saving grace of this movie is the artwork, and it's some of the best ever, right up there with 101 dalmatians. I wouldn't recommend seeing it again though
5/10
My point is, there's a lot more to this movie than I thought. Also, what's up with the hunter's in this movie?! Does this take place before the DNR? How come Bambi's mom is shot in the spring? Rifle season is in the fall! Later, they go on a "let's kill everything that moves" rampage. Seriously. They shoot at deer, pheasants, chipmunks, and everything else that in the woods, including the dirt. Then they send a pack of dogs to kill whatever was still breathing. Who shoots at deer and chipmunks with the same rifle? Do you know what a high-powered deer rifle will do to a chipmunk? Instant meat smoothie, that's what! And why are the dogs running in a pack toward live animals?! Isn't the whole point of a hunting dog to retrieve your kill? It's like a bunch of rednecks mixed their crystal meth with their beer and went, "BUBBA!!! WE GOTTA KILL EVERYTHING THAT MOVES SO THE WORMS IN MY HEAD STOP SCREAMING!!! AHHHHHHHH" Disney is almost as fair to hunters as he is to the Native Americans in Peter Pan.
All things considered though, this movie is actually pretty dull. At 70 minutes, it feels too long, and the first half of the movie is aimed at very young children while the second half will go right over their heads. The saving grace of this movie is the artwork, and it's some of the best ever, right up there with 101 dalmatians. I wouldn't recommend seeing it again though
5/10
Monday, April 25, 2011
Disney Movie Contdown Day 6 - Fantasia
Since this is basically a series of short films. I'll take them one by one.
1. Toccata in Fugue - This part is supposed to represent the kinds of random images that float through your head while you listen to music. It's a noble attempt, but they're trying to creating a universal look to something everyone will experience differently. Also, since this song is mostly associated with creepy organs, I just think of Vincent Price or Dracula when I hear this
5/10
2. Nutcracker suite - Much better, creative and gorgeous animation of assorted fairies, flowers, fish, and fungus. Gotta love dancing mushrooms!
9/10
3. Sorcerer's Aprentice - Mickey at is best! Classic and brilliant!
10/10
4. The Rite of Spring - DINOSAURS!!! In 1940, Walt Disney and Fantasia brought the theory of evolution to families across the country, and then gave us an artistic interpretation of how it might have happened. The resulting scene is still as thrilling as you remember. It's sad that, 70 years later, there are still parts of this country where this scene would be considered offensive.
10/10
INTERMISSION - Because musicians in a movie need water breaks too, I guess...
6. The Sound Track - I still don't understand this part...
3/10
7. The Pastoral - The Centaur girls bathe topless, and later they all have flower bras on. How did this sneak past the censors? Anyway, it's still a cute little scene, and Dionysus is funny with his little donkey.
5/10
8. Dance of the Hours - Dancing Hippos. In tutus. I rest my case.
10/10
9. Night on Bald Mountain / Ave Maria - They Saved my favorite sequence for last. Bald Mountain was terrifying when I was a little kid, and it's still quite powerful. Ave Maria provides a perfect musical counter point of the Sacred triumphing over the profane.
10/10
Movie as a whole - 8/10. This is the best Disney Movie for multitasking.
1. Toccata in Fugue - This part is supposed to represent the kinds of random images that float through your head while you listen to music. It's a noble attempt, but they're trying to creating a universal look to something everyone will experience differently. Also, since this song is mostly associated with creepy organs, I just think of Vincent Price or Dracula when I hear this
5/10
2. Nutcracker suite - Much better, creative and gorgeous animation of assorted fairies, flowers, fish, and fungus. Gotta love dancing mushrooms!
9/10
3. Sorcerer's Aprentice - Mickey at is best! Classic and brilliant!
10/10
4. The Rite of Spring - DINOSAURS!!! In 1940, Walt Disney and Fantasia brought the theory of evolution to families across the country, and then gave us an artistic interpretation of how it might have happened. The resulting scene is still as thrilling as you remember. It's sad that, 70 years later, there are still parts of this country where this scene would be considered offensive.
10/10
INTERMISSION - Because musicians in a movie need water breaks too, I guess...
6. The Sound Track - I still don't understand this part...
3/10
7. The Pastoral - The Centaur girls bathe topless, and later they all have flower bras on. How did this sneak past the censors? Anyway, it's still a cute little scene, and Dionysus is funny with his little donkey.
5/10
8. Dance of the Hours - Dancing Hippos. In tutus. I rest my case.
10/10
9. Night on Bald Mountain / Ave Maria - They Saved my favorite sequence for last. Bald Mountain was terrifying when I was a little kid, and it's still quite powerful. Ave Maria provides a perfect musical counter point of the Sacred triumphing over the profane.
10/10
Movie as a whole - 8/10. This is the best Disney Movie for multitasking.
Disney Movie Countdown Day 7 - Peter Pan
Peter Pan is a very charming movie. It represents the adventures all young boys have when playing make believe (I'm not ruling out girls' ability to play make believe, I'm speaking from my own personal experience, and since I was a little boy and not a little girl, that's what I'll be referring to.)
Every boy dreams of running off and having adventures, not having parents around, and staying young forever. This is the spirit that pervades the movie, and it's a lot of fun. Captain Hook and Smee are legends for a reason and they make a great pair of villains, but not as much as Tinkerbell. She's a jealous, treacherous bitch. She tries to have Wendy killed twice in this movie. TWICE!! She's so hellbent of getting rid of Wendy that she's the one who tells Captain Hook Peter's secret hiding place. The only reason we don't remember her as an infamous traitor is that she does save Peter from being blown up. But she's just trying to undo the damage she already did. In fact, the only female in Neverland who isn't a crazy jealous nutjob or grumpy old cow is Princess Tiger Lily.
Speaking of Tiger Lily, the biggest problem with this movie is the rather impressive racism against Native Americans. If you've ever seen a clip of an old lone ranger episode, you have an idea of what I'm talking about. It's the whole 'noble savage' cliche. At one point John tells the lost boys, "Remember men, the Indian is cunning, but not intelligent." Which makes no sense at all, how can you be cunning and not intelligent?! On the other hand, there does seem to be a definite affection for the Indians as characters. It's like the 'Injuns' were created in the mind of a British children's author in the late nineteenth century who'd never met them.....oh, wait...
And that's they paradox. The stereotypes are horrifically offensive, but seem to be created with no malicious intent. It's like a child's misunderstanding of a culture. The love for the characters is such that I'm charmed by the scene while being repulsed by it. I don't know what to make of it.
I need to mention is the action scenes between Captain Hook and the crocodile. The chase scenes are some of the best ever that don't include Willie Coyote and the Roadrunner. The final thing to take away is the lesson Wendy learns through the course of the film. Never Land may be a fun place to visit and tell stories of, but there comes a time when childish playfulness needs to give ground to an sense of responsibility. If that thought is too sad, don't worry; Never Land will always be there. It's like Captain Kirk said, "Second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning."
7.5/10*
I'm taking a bonus nerd point for using a quote from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
Every boy dreams of running off and having adventures, not having parents around, and staying young forever. This is the spirit that pervades the movie, and it's a lot of fun. Captain Hook and Smee are legends for a reason and they make a great pair of villains, but not as much as Tinkerbell. She's a jealous, treacherous bitch. She tries to have Wendy killed twice in this movie. TWICE!! She's so hellbent of getting rid of Wendy that she's the one who tells Captain Hook Peter's secret hiding place. The only reason we don't remember her as an infamous traitor is that she does save Peter from being blown up. But she's just trying to undo the damage she already did. In fact, the only female in Neverland who isn't a crazy jealous nutjob or grumpy old cow is Princess Tiger Lily.
Speaking of Tiger Lily, the biggest problem with this movie is the rather impressive racism against Native Americans. If you've ever seen a clip of an old lone ranger episode, you have an idea of what I'm talking about. It's the whole 'noble savage' cliche. At one point John tells the lost boys, "Remember men, the Indian is cunning, but not intelligent." Which makes no sense at all, how can you be cunning and not intelligent?! On the other hand, there does seem to be a definite affection for the Indians as characters. It's like the 'Injuns' were created in the mind of a British children's author in the late nineteenth century who'd never met them.....oh, wait...
And that's they paradox. The stereotypes are horrifically offensive, but seem to be created with no malicious intent. It's like a child's misunderstanding of a culture. The love for the characters is such that I'm charmed by the scene while being repulsed by it. I don't know what to make of it.
I need to mention is the action scenes between Captain Hook and the crocodile. The chase scenes are some of the best ever that don't include Willie Coyote and the Roadrunner. The final thing to take away is the lesson Wendy learns through the course of the film. Never Land may be a fun place to visit and tell stories of, but there comes a time when childish playfulness needs to give ground to an sense of responsibility. If that thought is too sad, don't worry; Never Land will always be there. It's like Captain Kirk said, "Second star to the right, and straight on 'til morning."
7.5/10*
I'm taking a bonus nerd point for using a quote from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 8 - The Lion King
"Whadya want me to do?! Dress in Drag and do the HULA?!"
I forgot about that scene. It remains one of the funniest moments in the history of Disney. This is why it's always a good idea to hire Nathan Lane.
Anyway, The Lion King is absolutely astonishing. Scar's assassination of Mufasa is pretty brilliantly conceived and executed. In the same moment, he disposes of his brother and traumatizes his nephew for life, all while keeping his hands mostly clean. Lion King has a couple of firsts for Disney; Simba has both a mother and a father who play a significant part in the movie, and we have a major character murdered at the end of Act 1. Mufasa's death is the most horrifying event in a Disney movie so far. And it's necessary to set Simba's journey in motion. Simba is one of the few protagonist's to be so emotionally broken. What other charcter had to deal with believing they murdered their own father? Even for adult movies, this is a heavy burden to deal with.
The Lion King is a powerful lesson in not letting your past destroy your future. Simba learns to overcome his trauma and become who he was meant to be.
And in the middle of all this you get to see what a cross-dressing Meercat looks like. Timon and Pumba are two of the best comic relief characters ever. (it helps when you hire Ernie Sabela and Nathan Lane to play off each other) Props must also be given to Rafiki, and Jeremy Irons as Scar. On a final note, is there an ookier way for a villian to die than being eaten and burned alive at the same time?!
Cherish that thought on this lovely Easter Sunday.
10/10
tonight - Peter Pan
I forgot about that scene. It remains one of the funniest moments in the history of Disney. This is why it's always a good idea to hire Nathan Lane.
Anyway, The Lion King is absolutely astonishing. Scar's assassination of Mufasa is pretty brilliantly conceived and executed. In the same moment, he disposes of his brother and traumatizes his nephew for life, all while keeping his hands mostly clean. Lion King has a couple of firsts for Disney; Simba has both a mother and a father who play a significant part in the movie, and we have a major character murdered at the end of Act 1. Mufasa's death is the most horrifying event in a Disney movie so far. And it's necessary to set Simba's journey in motion. Simba is one of the few protagonist's to be so emotionally broken. What other charcter had to deal with believing they murdered their own father? Even for adult movies, this is a heavy burden to deal with.
The Lion King is a powerful lesson in not letting your past destroy your future. Simba learns to overcome his trauma and become who he was meant to be.
And in the middle of all this you get to see what a cross-dressing Meercat looks like. Timon and Pumba are two of the best comic relief characters ever. (it helps when you hire Ernie Sabela and Nathan Lane to play off each other) Props must also be given to Rafiki, and Jeremy Irons as Scar. On a final note, is there an ookier way for a villian to die than being eaten and burned alive at the same time?!
Cherish that thought on this lovely Easter Sunday.
10/10
tonight - Peter Pan
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Extra Credit - The Rescuers and The Incredibles
As there are 50 Disney Movies plus all the Pixar films, I've opted to do some extra credit. Today's bonus episode: The Rescuers and The Incredibles
The Rescuers - Those who have been following the countdown with know that I didn't even finish Rescuers Down Under. It's terrible, even George C. Scott couldn't save it. Unfortunately, The Rescuers isn't much better. You have to suffer through terrible late 70's easy listening, and a bare bones plot. You don't need to watch this movie ever again.
3/10
The Incredibles - How do I say this? This movie is the greatest superhero deconstruction ever. It nails the tropes of the genre while being aware enough to let the audience in on the jokes. It winks at you in the best way. The filmakers and the audience are coming together to celebrate the golden age of superheroes, with a healthy dose of James Bond thrown in for good measure. On top of all that, you get a multi layered story about the struggles of family life, and our society's current obsession with celebrating mediocrity over acomplishment. Make your Ayn Rand comparisons all you want, but the movie strikes a cord in a country where young people would rather be famous than talented. The Incredibles is a counterpoint to every reality show, every terrible movie, and everyone you tries to tell you that you shouldn't be smarter. It's meant to inspire people to utilize their talents toward a better world. I think that's a very good thing. Also, the Michael Giacchino has created my second favorite Pixar movie score with his swinging 60s action themes. What's my favorite? You'll find out on Day 1.
10/10
The Rescuers - Those who have been following the countdown with know that I didn't even finish Rescuers Down Under. It's terrible, even George C. Scott couldn't save it. Unfortunately, The Rescuers isn't much better. You have to suffer through terrible late 70's easy listening, and a bare bones plot. You don't need to watch this movie ever again.
3/10
The Incredibles - How do I say this? This movie is the greatest superhero deconstruction ever. It nails the tropes of the genre while being aware enough to let the audience in on the jokes. It winks at you in the best way. The filmakers and the audience are coming together to celebrate the golden age of superheroes, with a healthy dose of James Bond thrown in for good measure. On top of all that, you get a multi layered story about the struggles of family life, and our society's current obsession with celebrating mediocrity over acomplishment. Make your Ayn Rand comparisons all you want, but the movie strikes a cord in a country where young people would rather be famous than talented. The Incredibles is a counterpoint to every reality show, every terrible movie, and everyone you tries to tell you that you shouldn't be smarter. It's meant to inspire people to utilize their talents toward a better world. I think that's a very good thing. Also, the Michael Giacchino has created my second favorite Pixar movie score with his swinging 60s action themes. What's my favorite? You'll find out on Day 1.
10/10
Friday, April 22, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 9 - Dumbo
Dumbo is 65min. long, and that's just about right. I mean that in a good way. The pacing is well done, there are no slow spots, the story is complete and it ends on a high note when Dumbo becomes the hero. It's short and sweet. I like it. A friend pointed out that the scene where Dumbo sneezes his ears big could be the cutest moment in all of Disney. We'll see what Bambi has to say about that, but she makes a very good point; Dumbo is adorable, even when he's waving his little broken flag. There are some great moments that keep the movie from being too cute. The scene where Dumbo's mom tries to protect her son is intense and infuriating; I'm willing to bet it's responsible for more than one PETA membership. The scene everyone remembers is of course the Pink Elephants on parade song. It's the charming sequence where Dumbo, the BABY elephant, gets shit-faced (you don't see that much anymore). If you ever want to terrify a toddler or your annoying stoner friend, put them in a dark room with that sequence on loop. In a couple hours, they'll lose their grip on sanity. It's bizarre and trippy and explains the mutual adoration between Walt Disney and Salvador Dali. I'm always impressed with the artistic brilliance of the animators in the classic disney movies. I'm fully convinced that it's this artistic genius that made Disney the empire it is today and Dumbo is no exception.
On a downer note, there is some depressing racism in this movie. The circus hands are all faceless black men who sing a song about never learning to read or write and wasting their pay. The song ends with someone shouting "move you hairy ape!" *sigh* The other part is the singing crows. There just as racist as you remember, but their good-natured attitude seems to make it less uncomfortable than the previous example. As a kid, I didn't know enough to recognize the racism, they were just funny birds. It's the subtext children miss that is problematic. If nothing else though, it is a relic of the attitudes of the time, and I think that makes it historically important. If you censor this movie, you'd be trying to pretend that these ideas never existed, and I think we should always be wary of polishing up the turds of our past. Time to jump off the soapbox and squeeze in some extra credit. Tomorrow: LION KING! Let's see if I still remember it word for word. :)
7/10
On a downer note, there is some depressing racism in this movie. The circus hands are all faceless black men who sing a song about never learning to read or write and wasting their pay. The song ends with someone shouting "move you hairy ape!" *sigh* The other part is the singing crows. There just as racist as you remember, but their good-natured attitude seems to make it less uncomfortable than the previous example. As a kid, I didn't know enough to recognize the racism, they were just funny birds. It's the subtext children miss that is problematic. If nothing else though, it is a relic of the attitudes of the time, and I think that makes it historically important. If you censor this movie, you'd be trying to pretend that these ideas never existed, and I think we should always be wary of polishing up the turds of our past. Time to jump off the soapbox and squeeze in some extra credit. Tomorrow: LION KING! Let's see if I still remember it word for word. :)
7/10
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 10 - Robin Hood
"Forgive me a cruel chuckle, ah-HA, ah-HA!" - Prince John
This movie rocks. It's filled with a bunch of great Character actors, including the voice of Baloo as Little John. Prince John is probably the funniest of the Disney villains and he steals the show. The big fight scene at the archery tournament is very fun and gets major bonus points for including "On Wisconsin". The movie gets crap for recycling animation (the dance number it basically a shot for shot copy of the King Louie scene from Jungle Book). I don't care. It's a dance number, they still had to re-color it, so back off internet trolls!! Another fun fact, this movie has the song that was turned into the hamster dance. (check out the video, it's pretty great) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLo-l52zz_o
On the downside, the movie does have a really boring scene of Robin and Marian wandering through the woods, but thanks to the magic of DVD, we never have to sit through it again.
8/10
This movie rocks. It's filled with a bunch of great Character actors, including the voice of Baloo as Little John. Prince John is probably the funniest of the Disney villains and he steals the show. The big fight scene at the archery tournament is very fun and gets major bonus points for including "On Wisconsin". The movie gets crap for recycling animation (the dance number it basically a shot for shot copy of the King Louie scene from Jungle Book). I don't care. It's a dance number, they still had to re-color it, so back off internet trolls!! Another fun fact, this movie has the song that was turned into the hamster dance. (check out the video, it's pretty great) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLo-l52zz_o
On the downside, the movie does have a really boring scene of Robin and Marian wandering through the woods, but thanks to the magic of DVD, we never have to sit through it again.
8/10
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 11 - Alice in Wonderland
You ever have a friend try to tell you about a dream they had? Remember how boring that was? Alice in Wonderland is worse. Maybe it's because I don't take drugs, but this movie is 75 infuriating minutes of nonsense; boring, tedious nonsense. There's not a single moment in this movie I can say I enjoyed. The artwork is quite beautiful, as usual, but that's it. Watching this movie is like watching your friends get high while you stay sober. Everyone thinks they're so deep and clever, and you can see that it's just a bunch a babbling idiots with nothing to say. At least Pinochio had a plot! Tomorrow it's going to be either Robin Hood or Peter Pan, and I can't wait!
0/10
artwork: 6/10
0/10
artwork: 6/10
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 12 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
It's good thing the Queen was beautiful to start with. If she was say, a 3-legged hunchback and decided to kill everyone less beautiful, we'd have a genocidal lunatic on our hands. As is turned out, she's only a probable serial killer. She could be one of the most flat out evil villains to be in a children's movie. She kills people prettier than her, demands the heart of Snow White, and mocks the dead and dying. (presumably she placed a pitcher of water just out of reach of the skeleton in the dungeon only to return after his death the kick the pitcher into his face.) What. A. Psycho. Also, her old woman disguise is the stuff nightmares have nightmares about.
There is some seriously dark imagery in this movie. My favorite is Snow White's panic attack after the huntsman tries to kill her. She's so traumatized that she mistakes a twig catching her cloak for the trees coming alive. We're then treated to a montage of trees coming to life and terrorizing this poor girl. It's wonderfully creepy, and a nice change of pace after the slow opening scene.
The Dwarves steal the show though. Each one is drawn with such specificity that you are sucked right into their world, and you begin to love Snow White because they do. They are the heart and soul of the movie. Dopey has the best visual gags, but Grumpy is the most realistic of them all. His grumpiness is grandfatherly; he's got a complaint about everything, but he's smart and you can tell that he probably cares the deepest. Look at who he had to live with. If you live with those 6 guys, you'd get grumpy too. Snow White bringing a little order and praticality into his world is the best thing that ever happened to him, which is why her poisoning affects him the deepest.
The movie is much better than I remembered it, but it does seem to drag in places, then rushes to the end as fast as possible. You also have lengthy text with no voiceover in the beginning and end of the movie. Starting with Disney's next movie, a character or narrator would speak the prologue. It's a good change. For the first full-length animated movie, the animation is brilliant. It's not a perfect movie, but It's a solid movie and deserving of it's reputation as a masterpiece.
8/10
There is some seriously dark imagery in this movie. My favorite is Snow White's panic attack after the huntsman tries to kill her. She's so traumatized that she mistakes a twig catching her cloak for the trees coming alive. We're then treated to a montage of trees coming to life and terrorizing this poor girl. It's wonderfully creepy, and a nice change of pace after the slow opening scene.
The Dwarves steal the show though. Each one is drawn with such specificity that you are sucked right into their world, and you begin to love Snow White because they do. They are the heart and soul of the movie. Dopey has the best visual gags, but Grumpy is the most realistic of them all. His grumpiness is grandfatherly; he's got a complaint about everything, but he's smart and you can tell that he probably cares the deepest. Look at who he had to live with. If you live with those 6 guys, you'd get grumpy too. Snow White bringing a little order and praticality into his world is the best thing that ever happened to him, which is why her poisoning affects him the deepest.
The movie is much better than I remembered it, but it does seem to drag in places, then rushes to the end as fast as possible. You also have lengthy text with no voiceover in the beginning and end of the movie. Starting with Disney's next movie, a character or narrator would speak the prologue. It's a good change. For the first full-length animated movie, the animation is brilliant. It's not a perfect movie, but It's a solid movie and deserving of it's reputation as a masterpiece.
8/10
Monday, April 18, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 13 - Mulan
I hate Donny Osmond. The man has no business inflicting his presence on the world anywhere outside of Branson, MO. And that is why I've never seen Mulan all the way through. This is a lesson in why prejudice is bad. I've been missing out on a pretty incredible movie, and Donny Osmond is only the singing voice of Shang. Donny sings one song in the movie, and I just pictured Hugh Jackman singing it instead, so it wasn't so bad.
I love this movie. It's hilarious, it's moving, it's epic. It's not as consistently great as some of the classics, it does have some clunky moments, but the base story is very powerful and the art work is gorgeous. The battle scene in the mountains is epic Lord of the Rings type stuff. Mulan the character is hands down the best part of the movie. the animators did and incredible job breathing life into her every movement, she's one of the best characters in any movie so far. Eddie Murphy is his usual entertaining self, and George Takei, Mr. Sulu himself is in this movie, bringing my Star Trek reference tally to 3 days in a row -- for three different star trek series! ('sigh' I'm such a geek....) Anyway, I'm glad I finally sat down and watched this Movie properly. It will be joining our DVD collection in the future.
Story and Art work - 10/10
Music and Movie as a whole 8.5/10
(including letting Donny Osmond sing about being Macho)
Tomorrow, we go back to the beginning with Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
I love this movie. It's hilarious, it's moving, it's epic. It's not as consistently great as some of the classics, it does have some clunky moments, but the base story is very powerful and the art work is gorgeous. The battle scene in the mountains is epic Lord of the Rings type stuff. Mulan the character is hands down the best part of the movie. the animators did and incredible job breathing life into her every movement, she's one of the best characters in any movie so far. Eddie Murphy is his usual entertaining self, and George Takei, Mr. Sulu himself is in this movie, bringing my Star Trek reference tally to 3 days in a row -- for three different star trek series! ('sigh' I'm such a geek....) Anyway, I'm glad I finally sat down and watched this Movie properly. It will be joining our DVD collection in the future.
Story and Art work - 10/10
Music and Movie as a whole 8.5/10
(including letting Donny Osmond sing about being Macho)
Tomorrow, we go back to the beginning with Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 14 - The Little Mermaid
Biggest Memory from this movie: watching it with Cousins in Marshfield and hearing my aunt's Ursala impression. It's a nice memory, and Little Mermaid remains a very good movie. Now that I'm a good decade older than the 16 year-old Ariel, I really get where King Triton was coming from. He terrified me when I was younger and now I pretty much agreed with him the whole movie; except for the part wear he trashed her collection. That's a bit of an over reaction. I guess though, if I found out my youngest daughter was obsessed with say, man-eating cougars and wanted to run off and marry one, and had a secret shine built to their greatness, I'd probably be a little upset too. Anyway, Ariel is pretty much what you'd expect from a curious, confident teenager. She could use better parenting (this is a movie where a mother could negate the whole plot with a nice heart to heart), but sometimes, you just gotta let kids make mistakes and hope they don't hand your mortal enemy the keys to the kingdom and the super powers that go with it.
As for the movie itself, Ursala is one of the more entertaining Disney villains. She's smart, witty, and capable. She's also one of the few villains to get straight up murdered. She gets run through by the prow of a ship! Quick, name another Disney Villain intentionally murdered by one of the heroes. I'll wait. . . doesn't happen very often does it? I'd say this is some sort of subtle jab against women/fish people, but I have a feeling it has more to do with the fact that you can't easily slip and fall to your death standing in the ocean.
The supporting characters are awesome. Scuttle, Sebastian, Flounder, Louie the crazy Chef. Quick nerds, who played the Chef in Little Mermaid? I'll give you a hint - Deep Space 9. Answer: Security Chief Odo. Look it up. The man has the funniest song in the movie and he's a Sci-fi icon. Speaking of music, The Little Mermaid begins a run of some of the best music in the entire history of Disney, and it's all as good as you remember.
9/10
Tomorrow, I'll be watching either Snow White or Mulan, I'm leaving it up to the readers to vote. post your vote in the comments or on my facebook page.
As for the movie itself, Ursala is one of the more entertaining Disney villains. She's smart, witty, and capable. She's also one of the few villains to get straight up murdered. She gets run through by the prow of a ship! Quick, name another Disney Villain intentionally murdered by one of the heroes. I'll wait. . . doesn't happen very often does it? I'd say this is some sort of subtle jab against women/fish people, but I have a feeling it has more to do with the fact that you can't easily slip and fall to your death standing in the ocean.
The supporting characters are awesome. Scuttle, Sebastian, Flounder, Louie the crazy Chef. Quick nerds, who played the Chef in Little Mermaid? I'll give you a hint - Deep Space 9. Answer: Security Chief Odo. Look it up. The man has the funniest song in the movie and he's a Sci-fi icon. Speaking of music, The Little Mermaid begins a run of some of the best music in the entire history of Disney, and it's all as good as you remember.
9/10
Tomorrow, I'll be watching either Snow White or Mulan, I'm leaving it up to the readers to vote. post your vote in the comments or on my facebook page.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Disney Movie Countdown Day 15 - Beauty and the Beast
I'll admit it. Beauty and the Beast is pretty incredible. I always liked Aladdin better growing up, and I think it had more to do with my being a boy than anything else. I just couldn't get past the fact that an awesome looking beast with super-strength wouldn't want to stay that way. He could take out a pack of wolves bare handed, he was like the Chuck Norris of Disney characters, and he wants to give up being awesome!? For a Girl!? And he looks like a girl when he's human?! What a let down!
After rewatching though, I can see what all the fuss was about; the animation is stunning, especially the stained glass prologue which is probably the best in the Disney canon. The castle fight scene is as thrilling as it is fun, and Gaston is a fabulous villian. I really liked the fact that the villain was the most popular guy in town. It's a nice message to kids that popular isn't the same as right. I had multiple flashbacks to my little sister reenacting the scenes by herself, with a melodramatic flourish as only a 6 year-old can, which was fun, because she would've been the best 6 year-old Belle ever. And although I know Robby Benson played the voice of the Beast, I can only picture Lt. Comander Worf from Star Trek whenever I hear the Beast talk,(for whatever that's worth).
I've heard some complaints that Beauty and the Beast encourages women to be with an abusive boyfriend who they can change. Not true! Beast saved her life, she brought him back and gave basic first aid. You know, the decent thing to do when someone sigle handedly saves you from a pack of wolves. Then he made the effort to be nicer. All she did was allow him to be nicer. She forgave him, he did the work. Her only crime was not being vindictive. Belle is one of the best female role models in Disney, so quit complaining.
Some things I do have questions about. Did you know that the Beast was ten-TEN when he was cursed? The curse lasts until his 21st birtday, and Lemure sings about laying around for 10 years. So in order for the curse to still be in effect without running out, he couldn't have been 11 yet. Who curses a 10 year-old boy? I mean I can understand cursing AT a 10 year-old boy, sometimes they ask for it, but mutating the boy and all his servants?? Seems like a bit of an over-reaction to me. I also question how no one noticed when a full castle with hundreds of servants turned into innanimate objects, but my wife said not to worry about it, so I won't.
9/10 (I gotta dock 1 point for the beast as a human. Seriously, there's no excuse for looking more feminine than your princess!)
Side note: I'm quite enjoying movies I haven't seen in a decade or more, so there will be a marked absence of Pixar movies. I hope you understand.
After rewatching though, I can see what all the fuss was about; the animation is stunning, especially the stained glass prologue which is probably the best in the Disney canon. The castle fight scene is as thrilling as it is fun, and Gaston is a fabulous villian. I really liked the fact that the villain was the most popular guy in town. It's a nice message to kids that popular isn't the same as right. I had multiple flashbacks to my little sister reenacting the scenes by herself, with a melodramatic flourish as only a 6 year-old can, which was fun, because she would've been the best 6 year-old Belle ever. And although I know Robby Benson played the voice of the Beast, I can only picture Lt. Comander Worf from Star Trek whenever I hear the Beast talk,(for whatever that's worth).
I've heard some complaints that Beauty and the Beast encourages women to be with an abusive boyfriend who they can change. Not true! Beast saved her life, she brought him back and gave basic first aid. You know, the decent thing to do when someone sigle handedly saves you from a pack of wolves. Then he made the effort to be nicer. All she did was allow him to be nicer. She forgave him, he did the work. Her only crime was not being vindictive. Belle is one of the best female role models in Disney, so quit complaining.
Some things I do have questions about. Did you know that the Beast was ten-TEN when he was cursed? The curse lasts until his 21st birtday, and Lemure sings about laying around for 10 years. So in order for the curse to still be in effect without running out, he couldn't have been 11 yet. Who curses a 10 year-old boy? I mean I can understand cursing AT a 10 year-old boy, sometimes they ask for it, but mutating the boy and all his servants?? Seems like a bit of an over-reaction to me. I also question how no one noticed when a full castle with hundreds of servants turned into innanimate objects, but my wife said not to worry about it, so I won't.
9/10 (I gotta dock 1 point for the beast as a human. Seriously, there's no excuse for looking more feminine than your princess!)
Side note: I'm quite enjoying movies I haven't seen in a decade or more, so there will be a marked absence of Pixar movies. I hope you understand.
Disney Movie Countdown Day 16 - Toy Story
For those of you who don't know, I was way more like Sid when I was growing up. I think I broke almost every toy I ever owned, and only 20-30% of those were on accident. I didn't hate my toys, but I did love to see how they worked.
Anyway, Toy Story has the best written script of any Disney movie. It helps that it was written by geek god Joss Whedon himself. The movie is peppered with tons of witty phrases, many I garauntee went over your head when you were little. While the script has only improved with age, the animation reallly shows it's age. Especially on Blu-ray, the detailing is just not there and it really shows the limitations of mid-90's computer graphics. It makes me miss the hand drawn style of Jungle Book or 101 damations or any of the classics. What modern computer animation makes up for in depth and demension, it still lacks the human touch of hand drawn animation. I still love the crap out of this movie though.
9.5/10
Anyway, Toy Story has the best written script of any Disney movie. It helps that it was written by geek god Joss Whedon himself. The movie is peppered with tons of witty phrases, many I garauntee went over your head when you were little. While the script has only improved with age, the animation reallly shows it's age. Especially on Blu-ray, the detailing is just not there and it really shows the limitations of mid-90's computer graphics. It makes me miss the hand drawn style of Jungle Book or 101 damations or any of the classics. What modern computer animation makes up for in depth and demension, it still lacks the human touch of hand drawn animation. I still love the crap out of this movie though.
9.5/10
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