Toy Story 2 is about the mid-life crisis of toys. Specifically, Woody has an accident that gets him put on the shelf. For a toy that doesn't age, it's a reminder that he won't necessarily last forever. He begins to have nightmares that he will be replaced, discarded and, ultimately forgotten. It is during this vulnerable time that he is stolen by Newman from Seinfeld. It turns out that Woody is actually a rare collectible toy from the 1950s. Woody suddenly finds a way out of his life of being forgotten. He can try to return to his family and make the most of the time he has left, or he can live a life behind glass in a museum, adored by many, but never being played with again. The movie plays with the ideas of how we deal with the direction life brings us, and if we should abandon it all for a chance at a glamorous, but less fulfilling life. Normally, a story about a midlife crisis involves a male character making an outrageous purchase or Kevin Spacey narrating his sad bathroom habits to us. Instead, we get a moving story of a character tempted to leave behind everything he loves because he fears his own mortality. He is worried about becoming obsolete, and his fears are compounded by the story of Jessie the cowgirl, who has already suffered this fate. Jessie's story pushes Woody to try to avoid her fate by leaving his life behind on his own terms. I think most if not all people have at least daydreamed about leaving everything behind and beginning a new life, but the movie demonstrates that this is only a hollow sort of life. Given the subject matter, this movie is relatively lacking in laughs. Buzz, Ham, Mr. Potato Head, and Rex to their best on the rescue mission, but the jokes are more cute that laugh out loud funny. All in all though, this is a pretty good movie.
7/10
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 9
Every Day is an Atheist Holiday! by Penn Jillette
Despite the title, the latest memoir by one half of Penn & Teller is more about his latest life adventures than a treatise on his lack of religion. It's funny, heartfelt, and contains the same measure of brilliance and self-deprecation that have made him such an engaging entertainer over the last 35 years. We get stories about missing his chance to meet Johnny Carson, the time some jackass tried to extort him, and his dislike of Clay Aiken on Celebrity Aprentice. He writes in a heartfelt, off the cuff sort of way, and you can see how his passions and pet peeves make him the unintentional jerk in many situations, and all for our benefit. My favorite example is the story of how he and his wife used IVF to concieve their first child. In the um *ready room*, the "inspirational images" he gets are seductive posters of three famous models/actresses, each of which he has made cry in public. The situation gets worse from there, but you can read the book for more details.
When Penn does talk about his family and atheism, he does so on a very personal level. He doesn't try to justify his beliefs to the whole world, but merely to show how they have given him a perspective and moral code to live by. In short, the universe is incredible and amazing without the presence of a deity. This world is enough. Morality is completely separate from religion. In various places, the bible condones rape, murder, slavery, abuse, geonocide, and religious intolerance. People have decided that these things are immoral without the help of a supreme being. To put it another way, when asked, "without god, what's to stop you from raping and murdering anyone you want?", He responds, "I have already raped and murdered everyone I want to, and that number is zero." For many atheists, true morality isn't refraining from causing harm because you might get caught, but refraining from harming others because it's the right thing to do. Morality is how we behave when we think no one is looking. And has far as a fear of death goes, his response is November 9, 1909. If you didn't exist then, and it doesn't scare you, then not existing 100 years from now shouldn't scare you either.
If nothing else, he does a good job of demystifying atheism for people who've never met an atheist and think they all want to just cause pain and choas wherever they go. In fact, most of the atheists I've met are exceedingly gentle, kind hearted souls. Ok, maybe not souls. But people, and good people should always be treasured, no matter what beliefs got them there. Besides, it's always good to be reminded that, no matter what your most cherished beliefs are, there is someone out there who thinks that they are the dumbest thing they have ever heard.
7/10
Despite the title, the latest memoir by one half of Penn & Teller is more about his latest life adventures than a treatise on his lack of religion. It's funny, heartfelt, and contains the same measure of brilliance and self-deprecation that have made him such an engaging entertainer over the last 35 years. We get stories about missing his chance to meet Johnny Carson, the time some jackass tried to extort him, and his dislike of Clay Aiken on Celebrity Aprentice. He writes in a heartfelt, off the cuff sort of way, and you can see how his passions and pet peeves make him the unintentional jerk in many situations, and all for our benefit. My favorite example is the story of how he and his wife used IVF to concieve their first child. In the um *ready room*, the "inspirational images" he gets are seductive posters of three famous models/actresses, each of which he has made cry in public. The situation gets worse from there, but you can read the book for more details.
When Penn does talk about his family and atheism, he does so on a very personal level. He doesn't try to justify his beliefs to the whole world, but merely to show how they have given him a perspective and moral code to live by. In short, the universe is incredible and amazing without the presence of a deity. This world is enough. Morality is completely separate from religion. In various places, the bible condones rape, murder, slavery, abuse, geonocide, and religious intolerance. People have decided that these things are immoral without the help of a supreme being. To put it another way, when asked, "without god, what's to stop you from raping and murdering anyone you want?", He responds, "I have already raped and murdered everyone I want to, and that number is zero." For many atheists, true morality isn't refraining from causing harm because you might get caught, but refraining from harming others because it's the right thing to do. Morality is how we behave when we think no one is looking. And has far as a fear of death goes, his response is November 9, 1909. If you didn't exist then, and it doesn't scare you, then not existing 100 years from now shouldn't scare you either.
If nothing else, he does a good job of demystifying atheism for people who've never met an atheist and think they all want to just cause pain and choas wherever they go. In fact, most of the atheists I've met are exceedingly gentle, kind hearted souls. Ok, maybe not souls. But people, and good people should always be treasured, no matter what beliefs got them there. Besides, it's always good to be reminded that, no matter what your most cherished beliefs are, there is someone out there who thinks that they are the dumbest thing they have ever heard.
7/10
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 8*
Oh my an asterisk! What does it mean?! Well, I read a book, and I read a shorter one. I'll start with the short one first:
If I Ran the Dog Show by Tish Rabe - This was an Easter gift from my mother. It start the Cat in the Hat and Thing 1 & 2 as the run a dog show. Why did I get this? Because a) March was national book reading month, b) my dog is very smart (sometimes) c) Dr. Seuess + Dogs is always awesome, and d) so is my mom.
The idea was to read the book to my dog. He didn't like it very much. He couldn't eat it, snuggle it, or chase it, so he decided to see what the food lady was up to instead. Anyway, this is the actual book that counts
THE TAO OF POOH by Benjamin Hoff
This is a primer guide to Taoism as seen through the example of Winnie the Pooh. It's a fun, relatively light read, and I enjoyed it, but the conversations between the author and the characters gets a bit confused and forced at times. For those of you who don't know anything about taoism, the basic idea is to live your life by living in the present and in harmony with yourself and the world around you. In a nutshell: just be. It's about not trying to fit square pegs into round holes. The author uses Pooh as an example of the basic idea of the taoist philosophy. I really identified with the idea of learning not to struggle through life. I have learned this lesson repeatedly, but it's usually after working myself into a frenzy before I realize the answer was right in front of me, and it wasn't what I thought. It's really great advice and I'd recommend it to anyone really struggling with a problem. So if you find yourself banging your head against a wall over a situation or problem, I recommend stepping back for a bit and waiting to see if the solution comes to you. I'm not saying it works for everything, but it is how I found my wife, my job, our home, and our dog....... and my playstation. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
7/10
If I Ran the Dog Show by Tish Rabe - This was an Easter gift from my mother. It start the Cat in the Hat and Thing 1 & 2 as the run a dog show. Why did I get this? Because a) March was national book reading month, b) my dog is very smart (sometimes) c) Dr. Seuess + Dogs is always awesome, and d) so is my mom.
The idea was to read the book to my dog. He didn't like it very much. He couldn't eat it, snuggle it, or chase it, so he decided to see what the food lady was up to instead. Anyway, this is the actual book that counts
THE TAO OF POOH by Benjamin Hoff
This is a primer guide to Taoism as seen through the example of Winnie the Pooh. It's a fun, relatively light read, and I enjoyed it, but the conversations between the author and the characters gets a bit confused and forced at times. For those of you who don't know anything about taoism, the basic idea is to live your life by living in the present and in harmony with yourself and the world around you. In a nutshell: just be. It's about not trying to fit square pegs into round holes. The author uses Pooh as an example of the basic idea of the taoist philosophy. I really identified with the idea of learning not to struggle through life. I have learned this lesson repeatedly, but it's usually after working myself into a frenzy before I realize the answer was right in front of me, and it wasn't what I thought. It's really great advice and I'd recommend it to anyone really struggling with a problem. So if you find yourself banging your head against a wall over a situation or problem, I recommend stepping back for a bit and waiting to see if the solution comes to you. I'm not saying it works for everything, but it is how I found my wife, my job, our home, and our dog....... and my playstation. So I got that going for me, which is nice.
7/10
Monday, March 25, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 7
CANDY GIRL: A Year in the Life of an Unlikely Stripper by Diablo Cody
So, remember when JUNO came out and everyone was all like, "Dude, a stripper wrote this movie!" and other people were all like, "See, strippers are people too!" Yeah, turns out that wasn't really the case. I mean, Diablo Cody did spend a year in her mid-twenties working in the sex industry, but she wasn't a lifer. As you learn in this book, she started stripping almost as a dare to herself, after 24 years of well behaved, catholic upbringing. This book reads more as a quarter-life crisis. The high point of youth is threatening to slide into the necessity of becoming a responsible adult and Diablo Cody is looking to find something wild to do while she still has the excuse of being young.
And boy does she throw her heart and soul into it. This book is funny, thoughtful, gross, and very well-written. Diablo takes us on an adventure through the darkest corners of the Twin Cities adult scene, and we willingly go along for the ride because we know she turns out all right in the end. Because she is doing this almost as a cultural experiment, we get to see all sides of this lifestyle both as participant and voyeur. She casually tells anectdotes of events that will turn your stomach, but you also see how the things that would shock someone who's never been to a strip club become positively boring and mundane once you become a part of the scene. And it doesn't come across as a coping mechanism, you really do start to understand how the business of titilation can become boring. Even to the patrons. At one point, a stripper scolds a disinterested crowd with, "Hello! I'm naked up here!" Like working in a cubical, but with more glitter and worse lighting.
I thought the book did a nice job of aknowledging some of the true awfulness ths type of work inspires, and Diablo is sure to point out the the experiences of the performers ranged from women who seem to really love the work and enjoy being successful at it, to the kinds of life experiences most associated with daytime talk shows and anything on the Lifetime network. The best thing about this book is that Diablo Cody rarely judges anyone. If she is going through her "giving peep-shows to strangers" phase, she's fairly accepting of the people she meets with much stranger disires and fantasies. By not judging the industry as a whole, you do get to see all of the moral ambiguity and complexity the world has to offer. This book is short and strikes the kind of care-free tone that will get you through the ooky bits. I would recommend it, but only if your the type of person who also likes something like South Park, because your funny bone and gag reflex will both get a workout.
8/10
So, remember when JUNO came out and everyone was all like, "Dude, a stripper wrote this movie!" and other people were all like, "See, strippers are people too!" Yeah, turns out that wasn't really the case. I mean, Diablo Cody did spend a year in her mid-twenties working in the sex industry, but she wasn't a lifer. As you learn in this book, she started stripping almost as a dare to herself, after 24 years of well behaved, catholic upbringing. This book reads more as a quarter-life crisis. The high point of youth is threatening to slide into the necessity of becoming a responsible adult and Diablo Cody is looking to find something wild to do while she still has the excuse of being young.
And boy does she throw her heart and soul into it. This book is funny, thoughtful, gross, and very well-written. Diablo takes us on an adventure through the darkest corners of the Twin Cities adult scene, and we willingly go along for the ride because we know she turns out all right in the end. Because she is doing this almost as a cultural experiment, we get to see all sides of this lifestyle both as participant and voyeur. She casually tells anectdotes of events that will turn your stomach, but you also see how the things that would shock someone who's never been to a strip club become positively boring and mundane once you become a part of the scene. And it doesn't come across as a coping mechanism, you really do start to understand how the business of titilation can become boring. Even to the patrons. At one point, a stripper scolds a disinterested crowd with, "Hello! I'm naked up here!" Like working in a cubical, but with more glitter and worse lighting.
I thought the book did a nice job of aknowledging some of the true awfulness ths type of work inspires, and Diablo is sure to point out the the experiences of the performers ranged from women who seem to really love the work and enjoy being successful at it, to the kinds of life experiences most associated with daytime talk shows and anything on the Lifetime network. The best thing about this book is that Diablo Cody rarely judges anyone. If she is going through her "giving peep-shows to strangers" phase, she's fairly accepting of the people she meets with much stranger disires and fantasies. By not judging the industry as a whole, you do get to see all of the moral ambiguity and complexity the world has to offer. This book is short and strikes the kind of care-free tone that will get you through the ooky bits. I would recommend it, but only if your the type of person who also likes something like South Park, because your funny bone and gag reflex will both get a workout.
8/10
Thursday, March 21, 2013
DMCP # 62 - Dinosaur
Ok, I'm only gonna spend as much time on this as the screenwriters did on the script for this movie. Ooops, I'm over my time already. Quick rundown, this movie is bland with kind of cool visuals, but nothing of note in the character department. The lead character is voiced by the guy from Cutting Edge, and that should tell you everything you need to know. If you want a scarier dinosaur movie, watch Jurassic Park. If you want a better kids dinosaur movie, watch The Land Before Time. If you want to watch a better movie about dinosaurs slowly dying, watch the dinosaur part in Fantsia.
3/10
That said, I've now watched every theatrically released Disney animated feature, and I just have a few Pixar movies left to finish the project. Woohoo!
3/10
That said, I've now watched every theatrically released Disney animated feature, and I just have a few Pixar movies left to finish the project. Woohoo!
Monday, March 18, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 6
Bitterblue by Kristin Cashore
This is the final book in Kristin Cashore's 7 Kingdoms trilogy. It's a young adult fantasy series that inludes the books GRACELING, FIRE, and today's entry, BITTERBLUE. Each of the 3 books follows a young female protagonist learning to grow up in the dangerous world around her. GRACELING introduces us to the world of the 7 kingdoms where some people are born with special abilities called graces. In the first book, we meet Katsa, a young girl with the grace of killing. Book two, FIRE, introduces us to a strange land beyond the 7 Kingdoms, The Dells. Instead of graces, the Dells is a land of monsters, brightly colored animals that have special power over other creatures. It is there we meet FIRE, the last human monster in the world. Why am I bringing this up? Because while the first two books give us heroines with fantastic powers, the third book gives us our first (relatively) normal heroine, Queen Bitterblue. Before I get into spoilers, just know that all three books are fantastic, and you should go read them. They're even better than the Hunger Games.
(massive spoilers ahead for Graceling and Fire!!!)
At age 18, Bitterblue is tasked with finding a way to help her kingdom recover from 35 years of atrocities committed by her father, who had the Grace of telling lies that people beleved, meaning he has the power to control anyone who hears him. He can stab your mother in front of you and tell you she just committed suicide and you will believe him. That's about the nicest thing he ever did. So the book takes place 8 years after he is gone (I won't tell you how) and Bitterblue is starting to realize that the recovery in her kingdom is not going as well as she has been led to believe. Secrets and coverups and mysteries are everywhere, and the book delves into questions of how someone copes with awakening to the realization that horrible things have been done to them, or that they have been the perpetrators of horrific acts. The main characters are complex and well thought out, and, depsite the considerable drop in bloodshed compared to the first two books, this book has a much faster pace to it. You want to know the truth as bad at Bitterblue does, and you share her horror as you find out it was even worse than you can imagine. These books remind me of a young adult version of the Game of Thrones series, but with happy endings. Just as many horrific events take place, but it is mostly alluded too here (the evicerations and rape happen away from the main story). The geography is also much easier to figure out, which means you can enjoy the story without an atlas.
There are two themes that run through all three books. The first is the presense of a well-rounded female character. We have three main characters throughout these books and all three of them are extremely complex. Bitterblue begins the story in a bit of a daze, her advisors keep her doing the most boring paperwork they can find so that she doesn't learn about the intricasies of her Kingdom. It's not a flattering start. We have an incurious woman who doesn't take much of an interest in rulling her kingdom because it's 'boring.' Through the course of the book though, we get to see her transformation into a powerful, but compassionate ruler. And while, yes, there is some romance in all three books, it's never easy or stupid. When Bitterblue develops feelings for someone, it is a hindrance to her more than some wild fulfilling of her life's wish. It's much closer to the way love actually works. Turns out, women can like a boy, but also have more important things to deal with right now, like why people keep turning up dead.
The other huge theme in all three books is the presents of an abusive and controlling father figure. In Graceling, Katsa is used as an enforcer/assassin for a tyrant king; in Fire, her father used is ability to control minds to horrific ends; and in Bitterblue, the spector of the mad king poisons everything. Each character is trying to overcome horrific emotional abuse by a father character. The scars of this abuse are so well written that it seems like the author is writing from some first hand knowledge, though that is purely speculation on my part. In my opinion, one of the most horrifying aspects of the mad king is that we see some evidence that he actually cared about his daughter, that he wanted to build a world that she could inherit and follow his example. It's twisted and evil, but is also comes from a place of tenderness, and as such, causes more pain. It's so much easier to hate the abuser when you can forget that abuse and love aren't mutually exclusive. The king is evil, he murdered his wife in front of bitterblue and there is evidence that he wanted to do horrible things to his daughter, and to see that some part of him cared for her adds a messiness to the emotions in the book that Bitterblue has to deal with. In deed, a similar relationship exists in all three books. It's a hard thing to deal with, and gives the reader much more to think about than many adult oriented novels. These books contain many layered themes that older readers will pick up on that may be missed by younger ones. It's a hard balance to find and Kristin Cashore excels at it.
So if you are looking for a some really brilliant fantasy writing, with kick ass female leads, you should really just check out this whole series.
10/10
This is the final book in Kristin Cashore's 7 Kingdoms trilogy. It's a young adult fantasy series that inludes the books GRACELING, FIRE, and today's entry, BITTERBLUE. Each of the 3 books follows a young female protagonist learning to grow up in the dangerous world around her. GRACELING introduces us to the world of the 7 kingdoms where some people are born with special abilities called graces. In the first book, we meet Katsa, a young girl with the grace of killing. Book two, FIRE, introduces us to a strange land beyond the 7 Kingdoms, The Dells. Instead of graces, the Dells is a land of monsters, brightly colored animals that have special power over other creatures. It is there we meet FIRE, the last human monster in the world. Why am I bringing this up? Because while the first two books give us heroines with fantastic powers, the third book gives us our first (relatively) normal heroine, Queen Bitterblue. Before I get into spoilers, just know that all three books are fantastic, and you should go read them. They're even better than the Hunger Games.
(massive spoilers ahead for Graceling and Fire!!!)
At age 18, Bitterblue is tasked with finding a way to help her kingdom recover from 35 years of atrocities committed by her father, who had the Grace of telling lies that people beleved, meaning he has the power to control anyone who hears him. He can stab your mother in front of you and tell you she just committed suicide and you will believe him. That's about the nicest thing he ever did. So the book takes place 8 years after he is gone (I won't tell you how) and Bitterblue is starting to realize that the recovery in her kingdom is not going as well as she has been led to believe. Secrets and coverups and mysteries are everywhere, and the book delves into questions of how someone copes with awakening to the realization that horrible things have been done to them, or that they have been the perpetrators of horrific acts. The main characters are complex and well thought out, and, depsite the considerable drop in bloodshed compared to the first two books, this book has a much faster pace to it. You want to know the truth as bad at Bitterblue does, and you share her horror as you find out it was even worse than you can imagine. These books remind me of a young adult version of the Game of Thrones series, but with happy endings. Just as many horrific events take place, but it is mostly alluded too here (the evicerations and rape happen away from the main story). The geography is also much easier to figure out, which means you can enjoy the story without an atlas.
There are two themes that run through all three books. The first is the presense of a well-rounded female character. We have three main characters throughout these books and all three of them are extremely complex. Bitterblue begins the story in a bit of a daze, her advisors keep her doing the most boring paperwork they can find so that she doesn't learn about the intricasies of her Kingdom. It's not a flattering start. We have an incurious woman who doesn't take much of an interest in rulling her kingdom because it's 'boring.' Through the course of the book though, we get to see her transformation into a powerful, but compassionate ruler. And while, yes, there is some romance in all three books, it's never easy or stupid. When Bitterblue develops feelings for someone, it is a hindrance to her more than some wild fulfilling of her life's wish. It's much closer to the way love actually works. Turns out, women can like a boy, but also have more important things to deal with right now, like why people keep turning up dead.
The other huge theme in all three books is the presents of an abusive and controlling father figure. In Graceling, Katsa is used as an enforcer/assassin for a tyrant king; in Fire, her father used is ability to control minds to horrific ends; and in Bitterblue, the spector of the mad king poisons everything. Each character is trying to overcome horrific emotional abuse by a father character. The scars of this abuse are so well written that it seems like the author is writing from some first hand knowledge, though that is purely speculation on my part. In my opinion, one of the most horrifying aspects of the mad king is that we see some evidence that he actually cared about his daughter, that he wanted to build a world that she could inherit and follow his example. It's twisted and evil, but is also comes from a place of tenderness, and as such, causes more pain. It's so much easier to hate the abuser when you can forget that abuse and love aren't mutually exclusive. The king is evil, he murdered his wife in front of bitterblue and there is evidence that he wanted to do horrible things to his daughter, and to see that some part of him cared for her adds a messiness to the emotions in the book that Bitterblue has to deal with. In deed, a similar relationship exists in all three books. It's a hard thing to deal with, and gives the reader much more to think about than many adult oriented novels. These books contain many layered themes that older readers will pick up on that may be missed by younger ones. It's a hard balance to find and Kristin Cashore excels at it.
So if you are looking for a some really brilliant fantasy writing, with kick ass female leads, you should really just check out this whole series.
10/10
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
DMCP# 61 - Fantasia 2000
Fantasia 2000 was such a breath of fresh air. The movie opens with Leopold Stokowski's opening naration from the first Fantasia. The film brings in the original animation from the opening Tocatta in D Sequence, and as the sound waterfalls through the clouds and to the ground, the animation changes into a burst of color and we see a group of colorful triangles floating like butterflies. They fly around and are chased by an ominous cloud of black "bat" triangles. It's thrilling and gorgeous and a wonderful introduction to a new Fantasia. We then meet our first in a series of celebrity cameos as Steve Martin explains the original vision for Fantasia was an ever evolving work of art, with new and old pieces changing all the time. Then we get into the pieces:
1. Toccata in D reimagined- 8/10 - I already spoke about this above, but it really is a beautiful melding of the old and new (and a refreshing change from the revolting animation in Oliver and Company)
2. Pines of Rome - 7/10 - This isn't my favorite piece, but it is still a stunning, sureal vision of the artic ocean. We get flying whales, swimming birds, and some great shots of icebergs and the northern lights
3. Rhapsody in Blue - 11/10 - This is hands down my Favorite. It starts with that long clarinet note and one line on the screen which turns into the New York City skyline in the 1930's. We get to see a day in the life of several characters across the city: A young construction worker who wants to be a musician, a man looking for work, a rich husband with an overbearing wife, and a precocious young girl who doesn't quite fit in. It's thrilling, heartfelt, and all set to an all-time American classic.
4. Steadfast Tin Soldier - 9/10 - This Hans Christian Anderson tale uses an interesting mix of what looks like hand drawn and computer animation. The story is very sweet and a great reminder that a Jack-in-the-box is creepy and probably wants to steal your girlfriend and murder you. Because that's how they roll... Jerks.
5. Carnival of the animals - 9/10 - What happens when you give a flamingo a yo-yo? About 2 minutes of slapstick genius, that's what.
6. Sorcerer's Apprentice - 10/10 - I think they brought this one back mostly for the people whose attention span would never let them get through the 2+ hours of Fantasia. That's ok, because this piece is a classic
7. pomp and circumstance - 10/10 - Noah's Ark starring Donald and Daisy duck. Donald proves once again that he is the true talent and that Mickey has been riding his coattails for the last 80 years. It's funny and clever and so well done that you forget that this song is actually quite insufferable on its own.
8. The Firebird - 7/10 - And then we end on a lower note. This is a fine little piece about a spirit of nature and her struggle against the destructive and terrible Firebird. It's not that this is bad, but the imagery brings to mind to far superior Night on Bald Mountain from the original.
Overall, this is a much shorter Fantasia, but I think this might be a better length for this type of film. Between the two films, we get enough truly stunning and visionary animation that I hope that we get another installment someday, hopefully with installments featuring the Pixar studio and Studio Ghibli.
9/10
1. Toccata in D reimagined- 8/10 - I already spoke about this above, but it really is a beautiful melding of the old and new (and a refreshing change from the revolting animation in Oliver and Company)
2. Pines of Rome - 7/10 - This isn't my favorite piece, but it is still a stunning, sureal vision of the artic ocean. We get flying whales, swimming birds, and some great shots of icebergs and the northern lights
3. Rhapsody in Blue - 11/10 - This is hands down my Favorite. It starts with that long clarinet note and one line on the screen which turns into the New York City skyline in the 1930's. We get to see a day in the life of several characters across the city: A young construction worker who wants to be a musician, a man looking for work, a rich husband with an overbearing wife, and a precocious young girl who doesn't quite fit in. It's thrilling, heartfelt, and all set to an all-time American classic.
4. Steadfast Tin Soldier - 9/10 - This Hans Christian Anderson tale uses an interesting mix of what looks like hand drawn and computer animation. The story is very sweet and a great reminder that a Jack-in-the-box is creepy and probably wants to steal your girlfriend and murder you. Because that's how they roll... Jerks.
5. Carnival of the animals - 9/10 - What happens when you give a flamingo a yo-yo? About 2 minutes of slapstick genius, that's what.
6. Sorcerer's Apprentice - 10/10 - I think they brought this one back mostly for the people whose attention span would never let them get through the 2+ hours of Fantasia. That's ok, because this piece is a classic
7. pomp and circumstance - 10/10 - Noah's Ark starring Donald and Daisy duck. Donald proves once again that he is the true talent and that Mickey has been riding his coattails for the last 80 years. It's funny and clever and so well done that you forget that this song is actually quite insufferable on its own.
8. The Firebird - 7/10 - And then we end on a lower note. This is a fine little piece about a spirit of nature and her struggle against the destructive and terrible Firebird. It's not that this is bad, but the imagery brings to mind to far superior Night on Bald Mountain from the original.
Overall, this is a much shorter Fantasia, but I think this might be a better length for this type of film. Between the two films, we get enough truly stunning and visionary animation that I hope that we get another installment someday, hopefully with installments featuring the Pixar studio and Studio Ghibli.
9/10
DMCP# 60 - Oliver and Company
It's a good thing I like Billy Joel, otherwise I'd have nothing good to say about this movie. First off, this is one of the rare Disney movies where the animation is offensively bad. Like, 80's cartoons bad. I think Gem and the Holograms has better animation than this movie. Because the animation is so bad, the voice actors have no help in creating memorable characters. It's really hard to make Dom Deluise, Bette Midler, and Cheech Marin boring, but they manage it here. As for the story, it's loosely based on Oliver Twist. A kitten named Oliver is given up for adoption, but nobody wants him, he finds a family with a gang of dog thieves, they leave him in a limo during a heist gone bad, and the little girl in the limo adopts him. The dogs rescue him and their human friend, Fagin, tries to ransom Oliver to repay a debt to the mob. Little girl gets kidnapped tying to save him, dogs come to the rescue and mob guy gets hit by a subway train. Everyone lives happily ever after, now you don't have to sit through this thing. In fact, the only good part of the movie is Billy Joel's song, which they sing twice. It's hard to believe that this is the last movie before The Little Mermaid. After sitting through Black Cauldron, Great Mouse Detective, and Oliver and Company, I have such a greater apreciation for the quality of The Little Mermaid. Even if I'm not the biggest fan, it reinvented the studio and returned it to the quality deserving of the Disney name. Now I'm going to go watch Fantasia 2000 because I need to see some quality animation stat.
2/10
2/10
Saturday, March 9, 2013
DMCP# 59 - Bolt
I'm saving the Toy Story sequels for last. I want to make sure that this project ends on a high note. Bolt is not a high note. Bolt is the most insufferable kind of modern cartoon. It's hip, winking, and never even comes close to hitting on an honest moment during the entire 96 min runtime. Bolt is the star of a knockoff Inspector Gadget TV show. The show within a show intro is the closest this movie comes to being entertaining, but then we get to see behind the scenes of the show. For some stupid reason, the whole show is designed to fool the dog into thinking the show is real. They go to absurd lengths, which are played for laughs, but the jokes are strained and stupid. In fact the whole movie is working way to hard to fool a dog into thinking he's a superhero. I have a dog. He can be fooled with very little effort, it's called "The fake throw" and it works every time. Anyway, blah blah blah Bolt thinks his owner has been kidnapped and runs away to save her. Then we get wacky adventures with obnoxious characters and a recurring joke about styrofoam. From sidekick to star, the whole thing is strained and painfully unfunny (except for a few brief moments from the hamster) I think the biggest problem is that the movie hinges on the audience relating to John Travolta and Miley Cyrus. I'm not saying they can't be entertaining, but when was the last time John Travolta conveyed anything honest? Correct answer: never, he has never given a performance that showed honest human emotions. This means he can't play a dog. Dog's are fundamentally incapable of dishonesty, and that's why you can't have a movie with a fake actor trying to be a dog. It sucks. And Miley Cyrus is terrible too... but you already knew that.
3/10
3/10
DMCP# 58 - Brother Bear
Down to the final 8! for those of you playing along at home, this is what we have left
Toy Story 2
Toy Story 3
Brave
Fantasia 2000
Dinosaur
Bolt
Oliver & Company
and today's movie: Brother Bear.
According to Rotten Tomatoes, this is the second worst Disney movie, only beating Chicken Little (which I quite enjoyed). The main complaint is that this movie is mild and dull. I think they missed the part where a character dies pretty tragically in the first 20 minutes, then a relative goes out for revenge, kills a character's mom and ends up sort of dressed in her dead body. So yeah, nothing to see here. This movie also is Disney's third foray into telling a story with native american characters, and I think it's their best try. The film takes place in an Inuit tribe thousands of years ago, you can tell because there are wolly mamoths. The main advantage of this is we are far removed from any of the uncomfortable culture clashes seen in Peter Pan or Pocahontas. We are allowed to just sit back and enjoyed the adventure without being constantly reminded of generations of bigotry and genocide. The movie is a nice coming of age tale in which our hero, the youngest of three brothers, is assigned his spirit animal. He gets a bear and the emotion of love, and as you can imagine, he doesn't appreciate such a weak emotion being chosen to guide his life. Naturally, we all get to learn the true power of love by the end of the movie. It's a good movie, bolstered by Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas as two dumb moose brothers (or Bob and Doug McKenzie to you SCTV fans) The move does drag quite a bit though, and a lot of the jokes don't work (Joaquin Phoenix is not talented comedic actor), but the worst offender is the music. The songs in this movie are terrible, Phil Collins fails to replicate his success from Tarzan and instead gives us the bad, bland Phil Collins. Basically, it sounds like muzak versions of rejected Lion King songs. It brings the movie down from what was a pretty darn good movie to a simply adequete Disney film.
6/10
Toy Story 2
Toy Story 3
Brave
Fantasia 2000
Dinosaur
Bolt
Oliver & Company
and today's movie: Brother Bear.
According to Rotten Tomatoes, this is the second worst Disney movie, only beating Chicken Little (which I quite enjoyed). The main complaint is that this movie is mild and dull. I think they missed the part where a character dies pretty tragically in the first 20 minutes, then a relative goes out for revenge, kills a character's mom and ends up sort of dressed in her dead body. So yeah, nothing to see here. This movie also is Disney's third foray into telling a story with native american characters, and I think it's their best try. The film takes place in an Inuit tribe thousands of years ago, you can tell because there are wolly mamoths. The main advantage of this is we are far removed from any of the uncomfortable culture clashes seen in Peter Pan or Pocahontas. We are allowed to just sit back and enjoyed the adventure without being constantly reminded of generations of bigotry and genocide. The movie is a nice coming of age tale in which our hero, the youngest of three brothers, is assigned his spirit animal. He gets a bear and the emotion of love, and as you can imagine, he doesn't appreciate such a weak emotion being chosen to guide his life. Naturally, we all get to learn the true power of love by the end of the movie. It's a good movie, bolstered by Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas as two dumb moose brothers (or Bob and Doug McKenzie to you SCTV fans) The move does drag quite a bit though, and a lot of the jokes don't work (Joaquin Phoenix is not talented comedic actor), but the worst offender is the music. The songs in this movie are terrible, Phil Collins fails to replicate his success from Tarzan and instead gives us the bad, bland Phil Collins. Basically, it sounds like muzak versions of rejected Lion King songs. It brings the movie down from what was a pretty darn good movie to a simply adequete Disney film.
6/10
Friday, March 8, 2013
DMCP #57 - WALL-E
I love WALL-E! It's probably my favorite Pixar movie not named UP. To start with, this is a movie that makes Hello Dolly seem like a deep, soul shaking film. It sounds silly, and it gets played for laughs, but WALL-E the character is carrying the last memories of our culture, and I find it really endearing that he latches on to something so sweet. Wall-E is not just the last robot on earth, he is the last sentient being on the planet, the only one left to appreciate culture. I mean, I wish he liked Singin' in the Rain, but you could do worse than a young Michael Crawford. As far as the environmental message of the movie, I really think it's beside the point. The story is about someone who is all alone finding a family and a purpose, and the side story is about human beings learning to turn off their screens and interacting with each other and the world again. I'm not saying that the environmental message isn't there, I just think it's more of a plot device than a political statement. This movie also proves that,when Pixar is on its "A" game, they can tell amazing stories with almost no dialog. This movie also features my favorite Pixar short of all time, "Presto!" It's the funniest 6 minutes of physical comedy I have ever seen. So that's it for now, this movie is amazing. Watch it.
10/10
10/10
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
DMCP #56 - Meet the Robinsons
For every paint by numbers fairy tale Disney gets accused of making, there's a movie that reminds you just how crazy Disney can be. Think Fantasia, Alice in Wonderland or Meet the Robinsons. I'd try to explain the plot of Meet the Robinsons, but I don't want to write that much. Instead, I'd like to start with the moral lesson I learned: evil men don't wear bowler hats, men who wear bowler hats are evil because the hat is actually a sentient mind control robot hellbent on world domination, and she has access to a time machine. . . 'cuz evil bowler hats are girls. What's that you say? Sounds like this is a weird movie? You don't know the half of it, it also contains: Singing gangster frogs, meatball cannons, a squid butler, a superhero pizza delivery guy, a T-rex, and a boy named "Goob." It's wacky and silly and lets its freak flag fly. Meet the Robinsons shows the creativity that many Disney critics forget about. This movie is a celebration of creativity, imagination, and invention. It's a film built around a motto of Walt Disney himself: "Keep Moving Forward" Keep moving forward means learning from your past, but always looking to the future, always striving to be better than you were yesterday, and to never stop believing in your dreams. On the flip side we get to see, in a very comical way, what happens to a person who refuses to move forward in any way, and blames the world for all his problems. There are some nice themes running throughout the film, but it always stays firmly on the side of silly, silly fun. I think it's an overlooked little gem in the Disney canon, one that you should totally check out.
7/10
7/10
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 5
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
It's hard to beat a really good YA fiction book. The best ones balance adventure and danger without losing a youthful sense of wonder. This is a really good book. Like many books in the genre, it involves a young, normal teenager who's life gets turned upside down when he discovers an amazing secret. Unlike any book I have read before, the story was inspired and built around a series of remarkable vintage photographs. Ransom Riggs has collected them over the years and used them to build his story about a home for refugee children. The photos are facinating, and build a wonderful sense or eerieness to the book. I also really enjoyed the background of our protagonist, Jacob Portman. Unlike typical YA main characters, Jacob comes from a family that cares for him, and is very well off. He is not abused or neglected. In fact, the main cause of contention revolves around his elderly grandfather, a surviver of the holocaust who tells strange tales of the refugee home he stayed in during WWII. Jacob's grandfather is suffering from dementia and paranoia. It's a common problem, that affects many people, and gives us a very realistic point of entry to this tale. The book is clearly the beginning of a series, ending on a cliffhanger of sorts, and I look forward to the further adventures of Jacob and his new found friends.
8/10
It's hard to beat a really good YA fiction book. The best ones balance adventure and danger without losing a youthful sense of wonder. This is a really good book. Like many books in the genre, it involves a young, normal teenager who's life gets turned upside down when he discovers an amazing secret. Unlike any book I have read before, the story was inspired and built around a series of remarkable vintage photographs. Ransom Riggs has collected them over the years and used them to build his story about a home for refugee children. The photos are facinating, and build a wonderful sense or eerieness to the book. I also really enjoyed the background of our protagonist, Jacob Portman. Unlike typical YA main characters, Jacob comes from a family that cares for him, and is very well off. He is not abused or neglected. In fact, the main cause of contention revolves around his elderly grandfather, a surviver of the holocaust who tells strange tales of the refugee home he stayed in during WWII. Jacob's grandfather is suffering from dementia and paranoia. It's a common problem, that affects many people, and gives us a very realistic point of entry to this tale. The book is clearly the beginning of a series, ending on a cliffhanger of sorts, and I look forward to the further adventures of Jacob and his new found friends.
8/10
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
DMCP # 55 - Pocahontas
This is a difficult movie to talk about because the historical realities weigh so heavily on the story being told. I expected to spend the whole movie shouting at Pocahontas to let her dad kill all the white guys. What I was surprised at, was the rather intricate themes and plotting that was mixed in with some troubling representations of race. The movie, while full of flaws, does give us a very adult story for a Disney movie. First, the movie doesn't shy away from racism. Slurs, although of a family friendly nature, are thrown around casually by both sides. The movie is a parable about fear and distrust, so both sides are commiting sins of ignorance and hate. As an isolated story, it works. It's a plee for understanding and dialog over violence. I also apreciated that Jon Smith does not play the white savior role. He comes to understand and support peace, but he never leads the Native Americans against the white people and becomes the best native american ever, (ahem, Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise, guy from Avatar).
The songs are written by the same team that would go on to write Wicked, so they're naturally ridiculously catchy. In true Disney fashion, the sidekick characters provide some wonderful silly comedy. It turns out the raccoons and dogs make ideal adversaries.
Ultimately, the movie is somewhat crushed under the wieght of history. It's hard to forget that what you are watching is the beginning of a continent-wide genocide. The spectre of death stiffles the jokes, and puts a damper on all of John Smith and Pocahontas' talk of adventure and destiny. Her actions only postpone a war, not prevent it. It's a valiant effort by Disney. They do their best to create a family friendly parable about racism and fear of the unknown, but in this case, the characters doing the right and honorable thing only delays the enevitable. It's very hard to enjoy a movie that forshadows the American Holocaust, no matter how catchy the songs are.
6/10
The songs are written by the same team that would go on to write Wicked, so they're naturally ridiculously catchy. In true Disney fashion, the sidekick characters provide some wonderful silly comedy. It turns out the raccoons and dogs make ideal adversaries.
Ultimately, the movie is somewhat crushed under the wieght of history. It's hard to forget that what you are watching is the beginning of a continent-wide genocide. The spectre of death stiffles the jokes, and puts a damper on all of John Smith and Pocahontas' talk of adventure and destiny. Her actions only postpone a war, not prevent it. It's a valiant effort by Disney. They do their best to create a family friendly parable about racism and fear of the unknown, but in this case, the characters doing the right and honorable thing only delays the enevitable. It's very hard to enjoy a movie that forshadows the American Holocaust, no matter how catchy the songs are.
6/10
Friday, February 15, 2013
100 by 30 book 4
Hello Kitty Must Die by Angela S. Choi
Soooooo, this book is interesting. It's about a Chinese American Lawyer in San Francisco. She gets paid $275/hr but still lives with her parents who make her go on dates with gross man boys. Any boy will do, as long as he's Chinese. She hates feeling like a "hello kitty" A submissive Asian woman who won't stand up for herself. Luckily, her best friend from Catholic school happens to be a very successful hymen restoration surgeon/sociopath. Things get dark fast and stay there. Except our narrator is so darkly sarcastic and apathetic that we never really feel the weight of anything that happens. Horrifying things happen with such a casual attitude that you never feel any sense of danger. It's a quick read, and more entertaining than not, but I can't say I got anything more out of this than an insight into what it might be like to have to go on oppressive blind dates with lame, useless mama's boys. Which, being a heterosexual married male with a job, isn't very helpful.
6/10
Soooooo, this book is interesting. It's about a Chinese American Lawyer in San Francisco. She gets paid $275/hr but still lives with her parents who make her go on dates with gross man boys. Any boy will do, as long as he's Chinese. She hates feeling like a "hello kitty" A submissive Asian woman who won't stand up for herself. Luckily, her best friend from Catholic school happens to be a very successful hymen restoration surgeon/sociopath. Things get dark fast and stay there. Except our narrator is so darkly sarcastic and apathetic that we never really feel the weight of anything that happens. Horrifying things happen with such a casual attitude that you never feel any sense of danger. It's a quick read, and more entertaining than not, but I can't say I got anything more out of this than an insight into what it might be like to have to go on oppressive blind dates with lame, useless mama's boys. Which, being a heterosexual married male with a job, isn't very helpful.
6/10
Sunday, February 3, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 3
Bossypants By Tina Fey
It's clear right from the beginning, Tina Fey's biggest strength is her ability to write. Holy cow, is this a great book. Having read a few other memoirs from some of my favorite comedians, Tina Fey is the first one to write a book that my be even funnier than she is. I was constantly laughing out loud, and the book captures her voice so well that I often felt like I wasn't reading it so much as she was telling it to me. She finds a great balance between letting us see glimpses of her personal life without giving up her privacy. She's willing to point our her flaws, but writes it in such a was that you forget that she just told you about the time she was a huge jerk to someone. She's self-depricating, but is self aware enough to know that many people find her to be quite beautiful. It's a book written from someone who grew up an awkward nerdy child (she supplies the photos to prove it) who is trying to reconcile her popularity with the lingering feelings of not being good enough. And you can tell that she hates false modesty, she's very careful to discuss her fears and flaws without ever asking us to go, "oh, Tina, it's ok. WE Love you! She doesn't need our validation. Oh, and it also contains some amazing insights into feminism and women in comedy. You get a sense that when she does mess up, it's usually not from a place of negativity, but in trying fight for something she believes in: like a sketch about vintage maxi pads.
Read this book.
It's clear right from the beginning, Tina Fey's biggest strength is her ability to write. Holy cow, is this a great book. Having read a few other memoirs from some of my favorite comedians, Tina Fey is the first one to write a book that my be even funnier than she is. I was constantly laughing out loud, and the book captures her voice so well that I often felt like I wasn't reading it so much as she was telling it to me. She finds a great balance between letting us see glimpses of her personal life without giving up her privacy. She's willing to point our her flaws, but writes it in such a was that you forget that she just told you about the time she was a huge jerk to someone. She's self-depricating, but is self aware enough to know that many people find her to be quite beautiful. It's a book written from someone who grew up an awkward nerdy child (she supplies the photos to prove it) who is trying to reconcile her popularity with the lingering feelings of not being good enough. And you can tell that she hates false modesty, she's very careful to discuss her fears and flaws without ever asking us to go, "oh, Tina, it's ok. WE Love you! She doesn't need our validation. Oh, and it also contains some amazing insights into feminism and women in comedy. You get a sense that when she does mess up, it's usually not from a place of negativity, but in trying fight for something she believes in: like a sketch about vintage maxi pads.
Read this book.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
100 by 30 - Book 2
Book #2
Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore
This is Christopher Moore's first vampire love story book. But it's also a Christopher Moore book, so we get to learn those things you've always wondered about vampires: do they go to the bathroom? Can they read Kerouac in the dark? And what happens when your vampire girlfriend is growing distant and the cute new girl at the Safeway wants to take you out for a cup of coffee? Can you just slip a vampire in the freezer for a day so you can figure things out? We also get to spend time with one of my favorite Moore recurring characters: a homeless man who is known as the Emperor of San Francisco, and his loyal dogs, Bummer and Lazarus. The Plot? C. Thomas Flood has moved to SF from Incontinence, Indiana to become a writer. He instead finds a night time job at the Safeway, where he meets Jody. She's just been turned into a Vampire; it's kind of a big change in her life. Also, there's the problem of the vampire who made her trying to frame her for murder. It's a very silly, if uneven book. It's clearly one of Moore's earlier efforts. I'd recommend it if you like his other work, but if you are reading Christopher Moore for the first time, I'd recommend starting with either THE STUPIDEST ANGEL or THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BIFF, CHRIST'S CHILDHOOD PAL.
Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore
This is Christopher Moore's first vampire love story book. But it's also a Christopher Moore book, so we get to learn those things you've always wondered about vampires: do they go to the bathroom? Can they read Kerouac in the dark? And what happens when your vampire girlfriend is growing distant and the cute new girl at the Safeway wants to take you out for a cup of coffee? Can you just slip a vampire in the freezer for a day so you can figure things out? We also get to spend time with one of my favorite Moore recurring characters: a homeless man who is known as the Emperor of San Francisco, and his loyal dogs, Bummer and Lazarus. The Plot? C. Thomas Flood has moved to SF from Incontinence, Indiana to become a writer. He instead finds a night time job at the Safeway, where he meets Jody. She's just been turned into a Vampire; it's kind of a big change in her life. Also, there's the problem of the vampire who made her trying to frame her for murder. It's a very silly, if uneven book. It's clearly one of Moore's earlier efforts. I'd recommend it if you like his other work, but if you are reading Christopher Moore for the first time, I'd recommend starting with either THE STUPIDEST ANGEL or THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BIFF, CHRIST'S CHILDHOOD PAL.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
100 books before I'm 30- the beginning
So my wife said to me the other day,"I want to try to read 100 books before I turn 30." I thought, "that sounds like fun!" (writer pauses here to watch his dog be extremely silly. That was adorable!) So I decided to join in on the fun. Now, by request (and since I have a fancy new ergonomic keyboard o try out)I will be reporting on my quest. But first, the ground rules.
1. Read 100 books before my 30 birthday (Sept. 2014 for me, August for my wife. I get a few extra weeks, but in my defense, I read much slower than she does.)
2. Must read the whole book, so no scanning cookbooks or craft manuals
3. If you want to read a children's book, you must read 10 picture books for it to count as one whole book. (only 5 if you actually read it to a child) teen or young adult novels are ok.
4. For graphic novels, you must read three for it to count as 1 book.
5. No Magazines, work assignments, or home work
And have fun!
So, on to book Number 1.
#1 Mass Effect: Revelation by Drew Karpyshyn
So this was a book I'd just gotten from the library when this whole thing started. It's not very good. I borrowed it because the Mass Effect game series contains some of the best Sci-Fi world-building and storytelling I have ever experienced. It's way cooler than Star Wars, so I was curious to see if the lead writer for the games could translate his world to the novel format. He couldn't. It reads like someone trying to include the mechanics of a video game in his story telling. I don't need game tactics advice if I'm reading a book. They're two different mediums. The story itself is a mildly interesting setup for the first game and introduces the origins of some tangential characters you'll meet later on. They run around the galaxy, they fight, stuff blows up, it ends. Don't waste you time.
Unofficially, I also finished rereading The Hobbit today. It doesn't count because I was already 3/4 of the way through the book when we started, but if I could have counted it, I would have. If you haven't read it in a while, or if you've only seen the old cartoon, you really should read it. There is so much to this book that I didn't remember, and so much that is alluded to that I want to know more about. I realized while reading it, that there is easily 3 movies worth of action happening in this story. So much happens in this book in such a short time, that I'm excited to see these moments get the time they deserve on screen. Most people think of the story ending after Smaug is killed. In many stories, the death of the dragon is the climax of the story. In the book, Smaug is dispatched in a short side-chapter and his death merely serves as the inciting incident that leads to the battle of the 5 armies. In fact, the power struggle and coruption that results when the dragon is defeated serves to gather the forces needed to save the whole north of Middle Earth from being destroyed (provded they don't kill each other first). The book starts has a delightful children's book, but by the time we reach the lonely mountain, the tone hass shifted to become a very adult story that fits in with the rest of the stories of Middle Earth. So Ignore that book above, and read The Hobbit instead.
1. Read 100 books before my 30 birthday (Sept. 2014 for me, August for my wife. I get a few extra weeks, but in my defense, I read much slower than she does.)
2. Must read the whole book, so no scanning cookbooks or craft manuals
3. If you want to read a children's book, you must read 10 picture books for it to count as one whole book. (only 5 if you actually read it to a child) teen or young adult novels are ok.
4. For graphic novels, you must read three for it to count as 1 book.
5. No Magazines, work assignments, or home work
And have fun!
So, on to book Number 1.
#1 Mass Effect: Revelation by Drew Karpyshyn
So this was a book I'd just gotten from the library when this whole thing started. It's not very good. I borrowed it because the Mass Effect game series contains some of the best Sci-Fi world-building and storytelling I have ever experienced. It's way cooler than Star Wars, so I was curious to see if the lead writer for the games could translate his world to the novel format. He couldn't. It reads like someone trying to include the mechanics of a video game in his story telling. I don't need game tactics advice if I'm reading a book. They're two different mediums. The story itself is a mildly interesting setup for the first game and introduces the origins of some tangential characters you'll meet later on. They run around the galaxy, they fight, stuff blows up, it ends. Don't waste you time.
Unofficially, I also finished rereading The Hobbit today. It doesn't count because I was already 3/4 of the way through the book when we started, but if I could have counted it, I would have. If you haven't read it in a while, or if you've only seen the old cartoon, you really should read it. There is so much to this book that I didn't remember, and so much that is alluded to that I want to know more about. I realized while reading it, that there is easily 3 movies worth of action happening in this story. So much happens in this book in such a short time, that I'm excited to see these moments get the time they deserve on screen. Most people think of the story ending after Smaug is killed. In many stories, the death of the dragon is the climax of the story. In the book, Smaug is dispatched in a short side-chapter and his death merely serves as the inciting incident that leads to the battle of the 5 armies. In fact, the power struggle and coruption that results when the dragon is defeated serves to gather the forces needed to save the whole north of Middle Earth from being destroyed (provded they don't kill each other first). The book starts has a delightful children's book, but by the time we reach the lonely mountain, the tone hass shifted to become a very adult story that fits in with the rest of the stories of Middle Earth. So Ignore that book above, and read The Hobbit instead.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Guns
One week ago, this nation experienced its 31st school shooting since Columbine. This time, the victims were mostly children under the age of ten. They were murdered in cold blood with an assault rifle and hand guns. Doctors and corroners could not acurately state how many times some of these children were shot. Children, at school, were shot too many times to count.
Today, the head of the national rifle association blamed movies and video games for the shooting, and called for armed police officers in EVERY school in America. I have to pause here, that last sentence is making me shake with rage....
Ok, I'm back. So Wayne LePierre thinks, "the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun." Well, ignoring that little bit of John Wayne nonsense, let's look at the amendment that gives us the right to have more guns than we can shake a stick at.
II
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Ok, we need a well-regulated militia to protect the security of our free state. Well, surely this is in addition to the permanent standing army we've always had-
Section 8 (Powers of Congress) of the United States Constitution:
To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than TWO Years;
WHAT?! did I read that right? the US Constitution calls for a 2 year limit on having a free standing army. Armies, which used to be made up by calling up the state militias to form an army to defend our homeland. So, at the time the 2nd Amendment was made, we wanted to make sure that we would always have highly trained men who could be called upon to form an army in times of war. That makes sense, it's hard to defend yourself when the militias don't have guns to practice with. It also ensures that our military is always made up of volunteer citizens. If the very people who form the army love their country, and are made up of its people and not a privatized mercenery force, we will know that the army cannot be easily turned against its own citizens.
Let me slow that last bit down. One of the things I hear (and have agreed with until I grew a brain and tought about is for 5 minutes) is that we need our guns in case the goverment gets corrupted to the point that a military response is necessary to overthrough a tyrant. Now let's think about this: In the event of our country being taken over by an actual tyrant and not a freely elected leader who won the election according to our laws, (I'm talking to you Bush and Obama haters now. You may think they are evil bastards, but they both got elected fair and square.) you are asking me to believe that A) the extraordinary men and women who make up our military will freely turn against us without a second thought, and B) my best bet to take the country back is by following a bunch of weekend warriors with no real leadership stucture or coordination between units?!
Isn't that sort of the plot of Red Dawn? Wait you're right, in Red Dawn the military gets wiped out. And that's easy to do because we only have like one base in the whole world, and it's totally not locked or guarded or anything. Man! If only we had an intricate series of military installations placed all over the globe, allowing us to respond with deadly force within hours of any attack!! And it would be great if the people manning these bases were our own friends and relatives! Wait, they totally are!!
Whew! I was worried, you know, I guess I do feel safe knowing we have an army ready, willing and able to defend us. You know, I don't think I need barely trained citizens with a hero complex to have access to any weapons they want whenever they want. Such an arrangement would leave open the posibility that even dumber and more evil people would get a hold of them and murder children.
But how do we defend ourselves from bad guys on the streets? Here's where I see Wayne's point about violence in Movies and games, but not the way he thinks. I don't believe that watching an action movie makes you a violent person. I do think that watching too much violence in your entertainment can give you a warped sense of how the world works. For example, if the only images I ever see of a certain color of person are as violent psychos with a death wish, I may become wary of them. If, when I'm watching movies or playing a game, and the only bad guys I see rush at me guns blazing with no regard for their own safety, it's possible I might start to think that criminals are one demensional lunatics who exist only to kill and be killed and that they have no other motivations in life. So now I would live in a world where I think the only goal of all criminals is to murder me. I might get scared and want a gun to defend myself. And I need a gun now! I shoudn't have to have a waiting period! my family could be dead right now because you didn't give me a gun instantly!
I still don't think there is anything wrong with movies or video games, but I would advize a little moderation. Maybe don't only watch gritty action movies, and play gritty military shooters. Maybe watch a comedy once in a while, or play a silly game like plants vs. zombies. If you only watch one thing, then I think there might be cause for concern, but if you practice a little restraint once in a while or switch it up, I think you'll be just fine. I know I've killed a lot of zombies and alien hordes in my day, and last time I checked, I haven't viciously murded any children. And seeing the billions and billions of dollars spent on games and movies, I'd guess that's the case for 99.99% of humanity. Which leaves 0.01% of people who are murderous psychos. I find it laughable that media moves that number much. It's really hard to kill someone with a DVD. You still need access to a gun.
Switching gears for a minute, I wanted to share a quick story.
I was in Colorado a few years ago, and I went with a co-worker to his house to get some guns and go out to a shooting range. When his father realized I don't own any guns, he honestly asked me, "how do you defend yourself?" I thought, "defend myself from what? This is America! Millions of brave souls gave their lives so I wouldn't have to walk down the street with a gun, fearing for my life!" I don't understand how you can claim to live in a free society when you think a small arsenal is a requirement. That's insane.
Incidently, I did have a fabulous time at the shooting range. I get the appeal of shooting a real gun. It does make you feel powerful. But that power is an illusion, and a sickness. You don't control that power, it controls you. It has too. If you don't spend every second making sure the gun is safe, it can turn on you. I just read a story about a man who took is little boy with him to the gun store to sell some old guns. The store wouldn't buy them, so He brought them back out. The rifle went in the back of the truck, and he went to put the hand gun in the glove compartment when it discharged. He'd left a bullet in the chamber and now his son was dead. His son. Dead. Not by some mass-shooter, not by a violent criminal. By his loving father. This story broke my heart. From what I read, he sounded like a great dad, who loved his son, who wanted to share a love and respect for firearms with him. I can't imagine the anguish he feels, and I can't believe he wouldn't trade every gun he ever owned to get his boy back.
We don't need handguns, or military assault rifles in our society. Their continued existence and endless proliferation haven't made us any safer. For you hunters out there, keep your guns. I think it's great that we have a country large enough that we can still go out into the wilderness and hunt our food. But I don't think you need to have any gun that holds more than six shots. If you can't kill your prey in six shots, you don't deserve to eat it. I feel the same way about home defense. I haven't read too many stories about roving gangs of murderers prowling the United States, and I'm willing to bet, most people who break into a house, would rather not die. I'd say, you should be able to scare them off with a warning shot 99.9999% of the time. If that doesn't work, you've still got 5 shots to defend your home, or accidently murder a family member coming home late. The later seems far more likely. Guns aren't a deterrent to violence, they are an instrument of it. Their reason for being is to maim and kill. They serve no other purpose and it's time to say enough is enough. Get the guns off the streets, amend the 2nd amendment. We don't need militias anymore. We've proven again and again that we cannot handle the responsibility.
Today, the head of the national rifle association blamed movies and video games for the shooting, and called for armed police officers in EVERY school in America. I have to pause here, that last sentence is making me shake with rage....
Ok, I'm back. So Wayne LePierre thinks, "the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun." Well, ignoring that little bit of John Wayne nonsense, let's look at the amendment that gives us the right to have more guns than we can shake a stick at.
II
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Ok, we need a well-regulated militia to protect the security of our free state. Well, surely this is in addition to the permanent standing army we've always had-
Section 8 (Powers of Congress) of the United States Constitution:
To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than TWO Years;
WHAT?! did I read that right? the US Constitution calls for a 2 year limit on having a free standing army. Armies, which used to be made up by calling up the state militias to form an army to defend our homeland. So, at the time the 2nd Amendment was made, we wanted to make sure that we would always have highly trained men who could be called upon to form an army in times of war. That makes sense, it's hard to defend yourself when the militias don't have guns to practice with. It also ensures that our military is always made up of volunteer citizens. If the very people who form the army love their country, and are made up of its people and not a privatized mercenery force, we will know that the army cannot be easily turned against its own citizens.
Let me slow that last bit down. One of the things I hear (and have agreed with until I grew a brain and tought about is for 5 minutes) is that we need our guns in case the goverment gets corrupted to the point that a military response is necessary to overthrough a tyrant. Now let's think about this: In the event of our country being taken over by an actual tyrant and not a freely elected leader who won the election according to our laws, (I'm talking to you Bush and Obama haters now. You may think they are evil bastards, but they both got elected fair and square.) you are asking me to believe that A) the extraordinary men and women who make up our military will freely turn against us without a second thought, and B) my best bet to take the country back is by following a bunch of weekend warriors with no real leadership stucture or coordination between units?!
Isn't that sort of the plot of Red Dawn? Wait you're right, in Red Dawn the military gets wiped out. And that's easy to do because we only have like one base in the whole world, and it's totally not locked or guarded or anything. Man! If only we had an intricate series of military installations placed all over the globe, allowing us to respond with deadly force within hours of any attack!! And it would be great if the people manning these bases were our own friends and relatives! Wait, they totally are!!
Whew! I was worried, you know, I guess I do feel safe knowing we have an army ready, willing and able to defend us. You know, I don't think I need barely trained citizens with a hero complex to have access to any weapons they want whenever they want. Such an arrangement would leave open the posibility that even dumber and more evil people would get a hold of them and murder children.
But how do we defend ourselves from bad guys on the streets? Here's where I see Wayne's point about violence in Movies and games, but not the way he thinks. I don't believe that watching an action movie makes you a violent person. I do think that watching too much violence in your entertainment can give you a warped sense of how the world works. For example, if the only images I ever see of a certain color of person are as violent psychos with a death wish, I may become wary of them. If, when I'm watching movies or playing a game, and the only bad guys I see rush at me guns blazing with no regard for their own safety, it's possible I might start to think that criminals are one demensional lunatics who exist only to kill and be killed and that they have no other motivations in life. So now I would live in a world where I think the only goal of all criminals is to murder me. I might get scared and want a gun to defend myself. And I need a gun now! I shoudn't have to have a waiting period! my family could be dead right now because you didn't give me a gun instantly!
I still don't think there is anything wrong with movies or video games, but I would advize a little moderation. Maybe don't only watch gritty action movies, and play gritty military shooters. Maybe watch a comedy once in a while, or play a silly game like plants vs. zombies. If you only watch one thing, then I think there might be cause for concern, but if you practice a little restraint once in a while or switch it up, I think you'll be just fine. I know I've killed a lot of zombies and alien hordes in my day, and last time I checked, I haven't viciously murded any children. And seeing the billions and billions of dollars spent on games and movies, I'd guess that's the case for 99.99% of humanity. Which leaves 0.01% of people who are murderous psychos. I find it laughable that media moves that number much. It's really hard to kill someone with a DVD. You still need access to a gun.
Switching gears for a minute, I wanted to share a quick story.
I was in Colorado a few years ago, and I went with a co-worker to his house to get some guns and go out to a shooting range. When his father realized I don't own any guns, he honestly asked me, "how do you defend yourself?" I thought, "defend myself from what? This is America! Millions of brave souls gave their lives so I wouldn't have to walk down the street with a gun, fearing for my life!" I don't understand how you can claim to live in a free society when you think a small arsenal is a requirement. That's insane.
Incidently, I did have a fabulous time at the shooting range. I get the appeal of shooting a real gun. It does make you feel powerful. But that power is an illusion, and a sickness. You don't control that power, it controls you. It has too. If you don't spend every second making sure the gun is safe, it can turn on you. I just read a story about a man who took is little boy with him to the gun store to sell some old guns. The store wouldn't buy them, so He brought them back out. The rifle went in the back of the truck, and he went to put the hand gun in the glove compartment when it discharged. He'd left a bullet in the chamber and now his son was dead. His son. Dead. Not by some mass-shooter, not by a violent criminal. By his loving father. This story broke my heart. From what I read, he sounded like a great dad, who loved his son, who wanted to share a love and respect for firearms with him. I can't imagine the anguish he feels, and I can't believe he wouldn't trade every gun he ever owned to get his boy back.
We don't need handguns, or military assault rifles in our society. Their continued existence and endless proliferation haven't made us any safer. For you hunters out there, keep your guns. I think it's great that we have a country large enough that we can still go out into the wilderness and hunt our food. But I don't think you need to have any gun that holds more than six shots. If you can't kill your prey in six shots, you don't deserve to eat it. I feel the same way about home defense. I haven't read too many stories about roving gangs of murderers prowling the United States, and I'm willing to bet, most people who break into a house, would rather not die. I'd say, you should be able to scare them off with a warning shot 99.9999% of the time. If that doesn't work, you've still got 5 shots to defend your home, or accidently murder a family member coming home late. The later seems far more likely. Guns aren't a deterrent to violence, they are an instrument of it. Their reason for being is to maim and kill. They serve no other purpose and it's time to say enough is enough. Get the guns off the streets, amend the 2nd amendment. We don't need militias anymore. We've proven again and again that we cannot handle the responsibility.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
DMCP #53 & 54 - Emperor's New Groove, and Home on the Range
Double dose today my friends, up First, THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE.
I really like Emperor's New Groove.
It's not much of a movie by Disney standards, but it's filled with siliness and is a fun little ride. David Spade, John Goodman, and Eartha Kitt are all having a good time, but Partrick Warburton steals the movie as Kronk. In Fact, the whole movie takes it's cue from him. While the stakes are technically life and death, you never for an instant think anyone will come to any harm. They characters seem acutely aware that they are in a cartoon and aren't in any real danger. My favorite example of this is during the final fight scene when we get this gem of dialogue, "Hey, uh, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?" This is pure light-weight entertainment, in a nice way, like a good bag of chips.
7/10
HOME ON THE RANGE
This is the worst movie I have ever seen, and I've seen DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS PEOPLE. It's 75 minutes of pure torture. I just rewatched the Lord of the Rings trilogy, extended edition, and this felt twice as long. I take back every nice thing I ever said about Cuba Gooding Jr. He deserves to be in Daddy Day Camp. This movie is so bad I started to actively hate Judi Dench. Dame Judi Dench!!!
To spare those of you who haven't endured this rancid turd, it's about three cows trying to save their farm from foreclosure by collecting the bounty on a cattle thief, and cattle thief who steals cattle by, I shit you not, Yodeling. THE BAD GUY'S SECRET WEAPON IS YODELING!!!! Who authorized this!? Oh, and Cuba Gooding Jr plays a horse who, I guess is supposed to be a comedic character a la Donkey in Shrek, but is actually a third rate Chris Tucker. This movie is offensively substandard, far worse than any of Disney's straight to DVD sequels. I cannot find the words to express just how badly I want to scrub the inside of my brain with a toothbrush until the memory is gone. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE.
No Score, I don't know numbers small enough.
I really like Emperor's New Groove.
It's not much of a movie by Disney standards, but it's filled with siliness and is a fun little ride. David Spade, John Goodman, and Eartha Kitt are all having a good time, but Partrick Warburton steals the movie as Kronk. In Fact, the whole movie takes it's cue from him. While the stakes are technically life and death, you never for an instant think anyone will come to any harm. They characters seem acutely aware that they are in a cartoon and aren't in any real danger. My favorite example of this is during the final fight scene when we get this gem of dialogue, "Hey, uh, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?" This is pure light-weight entertainment, in a nice way, like a good bag of chips.
7/10
HOME ON THE RANGE
This is the worst movie I have ever seen, and I've seen DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS PEOPLE. It's 75 minutes of pure torture. I just rewatched the Lord of the Rings trilogy, extended edition, and this felt twice as long. I take back every nice thing I ever said about Cuba Gooding Jr. He deserves to be in Daddy Day Camp. This movie is so bad I started to actively hate Judi Dench. Dame Judi Dench!!!
To spare those of you who haven't endured this rancid turd, it's about three cows trying to save their farm from foreclosure by collecting the bounty on a cattle thief, and cattle thief who steals cattle by, I shit you not, Yodeling. THE BAD GUY'S SECRET WEAPON IS YODELING!!!! Who authorized this!? Oh, and Cuba Gooding Jr plays a horse who, I guess is supposed to be a comedic character a la Donkey in Shrek, but is actually a third rate Chris Tucker. This movie is offensively substandard, far worse than any of Disney's straight to DVD sequels. I cannot find the words to express just how badly I want to scrub the inside of my brain with a toothbrush until the memory is gone. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE.
No Score, I don't know numbers small enough.
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