I always like to wait until the actual year is over before creating my annual mixtape, mostly because I think it's dumb to review something that isn't completed yet. This is also why I post my annual mixtape track listing about 3 weeks after anyone would actually care, but I like it so here we are.
I don't know if it was because I was paying more attention this year, but I thought 2015 was a pretty darn good year for music, so much so in fact that I actually created two ancillary lists for Dance Music and Cover songs (I'll be posting those later) One big difference this year is that as far as top 40 pop goes, it was a pretty down year for me. Justin Bieber came back, Fetty Wap and Silento happened, and people still like Drake for some reason. I still can't decide if Trap Queen or Hotline Bling is the bigger crime against humanity, but if anyone has a deep need to punish me for some reason, a Drake/Fetty Wap concert would be my personal version of hell. Anyway, let's talk about music I liked before I fall into a rage spiral. This is the internet after all and civility matters.
My top 10 albums of 2015 (except for #1, order is pretty arbitrary)
1. Nightwish - Endless Forms, Most Beautiful: My favorite female vocalist joined my favorite metal band and they made a concept album about science and evolution, complete with a 24 min opus with nature sounds and narration by Richard freaking Dawkins. I also got to see them in concert and it was amazing!
2. Meghan Trainor - Title: this was probably the most played album in my household this year. Delightful pop goodness
3. The Decemberists - What a Terrible world, What a Beautiful World: Everything I love about this band was condensed into this one album. Special shout out to "Philomena" for being one of those songs you hum along to for a long time before you realize just how dirty it is.
4. Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats: This self titled debut album is fantastic throwback blues and R&B with a modern twist
5. Leon Bridges - Coming Home: Speaking of throwbacks, Leon Bridges may be the closest my generation will ever get to a voice like Sam Cooke
6. Adele - 25: This one took me a few listens, but I'm starting to think it could be her best work yet.
7. The Arcs - Yours, Dreamily: If the Black Keys took more downers and listened to a lot of early rock and roll, this is what I think you'd get.
8. Florence + The Machine - How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful: Florence made a new album, it was awesome, what more do you need from me?
9. Kacey Musgraves - Pageant Material: Kacey continues to write clever, usually playful country songs for people who don't like country.
10. Chris Stapleton - Traveller: Don't let the Country label fool you, this is a bluesy, southern rock gem.
Honorable Mention: Various Artists - We Love Disney: Pop stars covering Disney songs shouldn't be as enjoyable as this is. Most of the Artists really put their own spin on the songs and it feels like something they did for fun first, paycheck second.
OFFICIAL 2015 MIXTAPE
1. I NEED NEVER GET OLD - NATHANIEL RATELIFF & THE NIGHT SWEATS: A pulsing drum beat and guitar riff slowly build to reveal the horn section and the classic R&B vocals
2. SMOOTH SAILIN' - LEON BRIDGES: while track one has a rough, aggressive style, this song is smooth as silk, and the saxophone solos make up for everything the 1980s eighties did to that instrument.
3. LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL - JD MCPHERSON: Sticking with the classic theme, this songs feels like it time warped out of the 50s. If you don't feel like dancing when you hear it, I can't be friends with you.
4. VELVET DITCH - THE ARCS: This is one of those songs that feels like it belongs in a Quentin Tarantino Movie, it wears it references on it's sleeve but still stays it's own thing. If you needed to make a song that stole inspiration from about 5 different decades while still being cohesive, this is what I would play for you.
5. GIMMEE ALL YOUR LOVE - ALABAMA SHAKES: What if Led Zeppelin wrote a song that was sung by a female with a bluesy powerhouse of a voice that can rival the raw emotion of Robert Plant? If you like to intermix your soft moments with blasts of pure emotion, this is for you.
6. TENNESSEE WHISKEY - CHRIS STAPLETON: This ballad is a soulful blues gem. The guy may write more country hits than I can shake a stick at, but his vocal approach reminds me much more of a Stevie Ray Vaughan, but better.
7. RIVER LEA - ADELE: Adele is back! And her best song hasn't even been released as a single yet! Quick, enjoy it before it gets used in every commercial for TV dramas trying to make you think their show is deep and mysterious.
8. WHAT KIND OF MAN - FLORENCE + THE MACHINE: I had a hard time picking my favorite Florence song this year, but in the end, the energy change one minute in is too much fun to deny. Every time I hear it, I want to crank my car stereo and floor the accelerator...
9. I LIKE IT HEAVY - HALESTORM: ....Which is good because this song is built for going 80 on the freeway. They also get the award for most quintessential rock n' roll lyric of the year "Hallelujah Mother****** Take Me to Church!!!" Come for the hard rock, stay for the beautiful a capella solo at the end.
10. NOT MY TIME - SPECTRA 2015 SINGERS: I know absolutely nothing about this group, and given their name, I'm so scared they're from some reality competition or something, but I really, really like this song.* I'm a sucker for a driving beat and a singable vocal with random Indian influences and weird chanting. *Update: I looked it up and it's a Canadian Song for Cancer Survivors and proceeds went to charity, all good things.
11. BETTER NOT WAKE THE BABY - THE DECEMBERISTS: Like I said, I'm a sucker for a song with a driving, stomping feel that I can sing along too.
12. RUN LIKE THE RIVER - VINTAGE TROUBLE: driving beat, check. singable chorus with gospel choir, check. classic blues rock, check. Rip off Led Zeppelin in a riff solo? I will allow it.
13. FEEL RIGHT - MARK RONSON ft. MYSTIKAL: This is what I imagine it feels like to be Samuel L. Jackson almost everyday. Also, whenever I hear Mystikal's voice, I can only picture WWE wrestler/comedic genius/national treasure R Truth.
14. BROKE - JASON DERULO, KEITH URBAN, STEVIE WONDER: This song shouldn't work given the people involved, but it turns out that when you drop a beat behind a country guitar and Stevie's harmonica and add Jason's capable R&B voice, it really works. It also helps that a hip-hop harmonica breakdown is on my list of favorite things ever.
15. WALKASHAME - MEGHAN TRAINOR: Another homage to the early days of rock n roll and pop. I'm starting to sense a theme here. It's almost like I grew up listening to oldies or something... thanks mom and dad!
16. BISCUITS - KACEY MUSGRAVES: If the essence of the serenity prayer was a bouncy country sing along, it would sound like this.
17. RIDE THAT LIGHTNING - CHRIS HADFIELD: foot stomping beat, sing along chorus, now with handclaps and boogie woogie piano!!!
18. THE EVERLASTING MUSE - BELLE & SEBASTIAN: This was one of those songs that you don't expect much from at first. It begins like the background music in a Disaronno commercial, until the song makes a left turn into a Gypsy wedding or something, and then shifts back and forth between the two styles. It's quirky and weird and I love it.
19. ALPENGLOW - NIGHTWISH: Time for a heavy metal break, but with an orchestra and Floor Jansen's gorgeous vocals.
20. NEARLY FORGOT MY BROKEN HEART - CHRIS CORNELL: The best singer from the grunge era made a mostly acoustic record this year, and the result was my favorite work of his in about 20 years.
21. 1,2,3,4 - ALAN DOYLE ft. ED ROBERTSON: What? You didn't think I would find an Irish Pub rock song and NOT put it on this list did you? Foot stomps and sing alongs, it's almost all I want out of life.
Monday, January 18, 2016
Wednesday, January 13, 2016
IDODP: The Little Mermaid
Movie: The Little Mermaid (1989)
Age: 16
Common Complaint: Ariel is a girl so obsessed with a boy that she is hoarding his garbage like a crazy person and is willing to trade her identity and mutilate her body to be with a boy she thinks is cute. Your standard, psycho stalker/hoarder scenario.
The Little Mermaid marks only the 4th Disney Princess in the first 52 years of Disney feature animation and arrived 30 years after Sleeping Beauty. In between Sleeping Beauty and The Little Mermaid, Disney experienced roughly 20 years of quality decline following the death of Walt Disney. The Little Mermaid would turn out to be the first step in restoring Disney to it's former glory and arguably surpassing it.
After a brief prologue, we are introduced the the world of the Merpeople as they gather for a concert to act as Ariel's musical debut. Alas, Ariel is nowhere to be found as she is off exploring. In the first 6 minutes of the movie, we learn that Ariel, who is already a beloved princess, has no real interest in being the center of attention as she is too busy exploring an alien civilization. She doesn't have time for fancy costumes and parties, she's a scholar and explorer. She spends her days exploring shipwrecks and evading sharks, looking for artifacts for her private museum. She's basically Princess Ariel: Tomb Raider. She has a passion for knowledge, even if most of her information comes from a seagull who doesn't know what he's talking about. Because we have knowledge of our own day to day existence, it is easy to laugh at Ariel's mistakes, but it is not a condemnation of her intellect. She is making an effort to learn and become an expert about a world she is passionate about, using the best sources she can find. By even communicating with Scuttle, she is violating the laws of her people, so she is clearly willing to go after what she wants, no matter the cost.
When she returns home, she is confronted by her father, King Triton, who is a severe racist and isolationist. While we can certainly empathize with Triton's concerns, calling an entire race of people barbarians is pretty racist. After Ariel tries unsuccessfully to counter her father's ignorance, she retreats to her museum, where she sings one of the best songs in the Disney canon. "Part of Your World" is sung prior to Ariel having any contact with Prince Eric, meaning her song is not a song about boys, but a song about a woman who longs to be free to explore and pursue knowledge. She wants to leave her one seahorse town and lead her own life. While the title of the song is "Part of Your World", The actual lyric is "Part of THAT world." She is not a hoarder pining after a boy, she is an anthropologist trapped in an insular world that rejects any knowledge of outsiders.
When she finally sees Prince Eric, her fascination with him is an extension of her love of the human world, not the other way around. A well worn trope of the adventure story is of the hero falling in love with a native of the land the hero is exploring (see Pocahontas, Avatar, Ferngully, etc.) In the case of the Little Mermaid, this trope is inverted when the explorer is a mermaid, and the exotic land is Denmark in the 1800s. It is shortly after her first close examination of the humans that a storm arises and she ends up saving Prince Eric from drowning, and sings a song about wanting to be with him. I must admit my bias at this point, because I have direct experience that being involved in a water related accident and being helped by a pretty girl is a great way to woo said pretty girl, just ask my wife (who also said that the Florence Nightingale effect is a real thing). So now our leading princess has heroically saved a very pretty boy of the world and culture she is obsessed with, and has a shared traumatic experience with him. This is the part where I try to remind people that stories happen in a particular order, and given circumstances can change as the plot unfolds, but it is unfair to attribute intentions to characters using information they themselves do not yet have. Sure, Ariel is smitten with a boy she just met and sings a song about wanting to be with him. But at this point in the story, she has no knowledge that becoming human is even a possibility. Her desire to literally become human is still idle fantasy, similar to any teenager daydreaming about being magically united with their favorite celebrity. As a bonus, Ariel, the fighter of sharks and fearless explorer, now has a story about the time she saved a prince from drowning. If she wasn't later caught up in a power grab by a deposed tyrant, this would likely have been the extent of it. Even if her plans to see him again had worked, her best case scenario would have been for her to be a friend and improve human/merpeople relations once the anatomical realities kicked in. She would have eventually phased out of her crush and moved on with her life.
Unfortunately for Ariel, her father is told of her love for a human and goes completely nuts when he catches her in the midst of a romantic daydream. Rather than try to patiently have a discussion with her about the realities and dangers of becoming too attached to someone she can never be with, he goes full fundamentalist and destroys her entire life's work. While the human value of her collection may have been minimal, these were priceless artifacts to her. Imagine if you were 16 and your Father stormed into your room, tore every poster off your wall, smashed your collectibles and burned all of your books because they didn't like who you were associating with. Oh, and your mother is not in the picture so you have no backup parental figure to save you or offer solace. All this happens when 30 seconds earlier, you were happily daydreaming and enjoying being in love. Wouldn't that put you in a slightly emotionally vulnerable state? King Triton does most of Ursula's work for her.
Even in this state, Ariel initially refuses to even go to Ursula until the eel knocks over a piece of Eric's statue. While the traditional reading is that Ariel swims off to be with a boy, the manner in which she leaves and the way she shuts down Sebastian is one of anger and defiance. Her father has just tried to dominate and control her, taking away her ability to make her own choices, so she makes the one choice still available to her. She refuses to be bullied into submission and is running away to live her own life. This is the essence of many Disney stories. They are about the yearning for freedom, adventure, and independence that most children have. The lack of good parenting role models is a great way to allow these characters to get themselves into dramatically interesting situations. Ariel needs to learn from active experience, something that is utterly denied to her at home. Her move isn't a great choice, but it is HER choice.
The scene in Ursula's lair is a classic devil's bargain sequence in which Ursula applies numerous manipulation and sales techniques to trick Ariel into an impossible situation. Ursula starts with an otherwise reasonably intelligent person caught in a highly emotional state and offers her the very thing Ariel most desires, something she never imagined would even be possible. Step two is to tell Ariel that if she can win the heart of the man she loves in three days, she gets to stay human forever. She then gives the consequence of failure, eternal slavery, which, given Ariel's current state of mind, is not much worse off than she perceives she is right now. Only after Ariel has had a few moments to realize the lure of getting her heart's desire does the cost come up. Sales 101: The price comes at the end of the sales pitch because if they can get you emotionally invested in the value of what they are selling, you are less likely to care about the price. Go to any timeshare presentation to see this in action. Ursula is a very good salesman, and so she immediately downplays the price as well, but telling her that in the human world, talk is overrated. So her simplified pitch is basically, "I will give you everything you've ever wanted for a song! Literally!" Then, to seal the deal, Ursula demands and immediate decision, preventing Ariel the time to come to her senses. Step by step, Ursula seduces an intelligent woman into a stupid decision by playing her like a fiddle. This also the same technique Palpatine uses to turn Anakin Skywalker into Darth Vader, except in Star Wars, it is referred to as tragic, but with Ariel, she is often accused of being stupid. What I'm attempting to show is that while Ariel makes an extremely poor choice, it is not because she's just a boy crazy bimbo. The movie just spent half it's run time showing us that she is independent, intelligent and heroic. She is simply caught up in a moment of weakness and tricked into an impossible situation.
Now we come to the part of the movie where Ariel has to woo the prince without being able to speak. This is where jaded adults who grew up with this movie go, "WHY DOESN'T SHE JUST WRITE DOWN WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?! PROBLEM SOLVED!!!" This is where I try to remind folks to review what the given circumstances of the movie are. First, Merfolk are only a myth to the humans. Second, there is no magic that we know of in the human world. Third, despite her best efforts, she has very little working knowledge of human culture and customs. So what exactly is Ariel supposed to write? "Hi, I'm Ariel. I used to be a mermaid, but I saw you and fell in love with you and then my dad blew up my secret room because I saved your life, so I sold my soul to a witch who made me a human but took my voice. Please fall in love with me and kiss me so I don't get turned into a creepy worm thing for all eternity" Yes, that should go over well. Also, her initial attempts to explain come off as random flailing about, so she reverts to simply being herself as best as she can. Even without her voice, her passion for life, and eagerness for new experiences charms everyone she meets. Yes Ariel is in love with a boy and has made one massively ill advised choice under duress, but she has otherwise remained true to herself throughout. She wanted to live in the human world before she fell in love with a boy, and once she was there, she kept her same personality. She does not spend her finite time as a human throwing herself at a boy. She explores the country and tries to experience as much of the human world as possible. Her zest for life is what draws Eric to her. It is her male sidekick characters that try to get her to shamelessly flirt and throw herself at him. But Ariel never tries to force the issue, even after she learns that Eric will marry someone else. However, when she learns that Eric is about to marry Ursula in disguise, she immediately rushes off to save him. She doesn't even hesitate, almost drowning in the attempt (don't swim in a dress kids). The man who just broke her heart is in mortal peril, and she rushes to save him without a second thought because it is the right thing to do. Call it what you will, but I see this as an act of real love.
In the climactic fight against Mega Ursula, Ariel does appear to just be a victim who needs to be saved by a man. But if you think about it for a second, Ariel has actually been rushing to save those she cares about throughout the movie, so she is not so much a damsel in distress as she is a person who is in a situation that has finally become too big for her to handle alone. Also, she already saved Eric's life, and stopped him from marrying a sea witch so he kind of owes her one if he's going to pull his own weight in their relationship. In all of the excitement, it is easy to forget that there is no magical true love's kiss to save the day. Because we are watching a fairy tale, we assume that if Ariel and Eric kiss all will be well, but we are never given a deus ex kiss moment, so whether or not Eric is Ariel's true love is up for debate. What we do know is that they seem to be two nice kids who've been through something extraordinary together. And really, if impaling a 100 ft tall octopus lady with a sunken ship isn't a sign of true love, I don't know what is. In the end, Ariel is able to live the life that feels authentic to her, and her fundi dad finally accepts his daughter for who she is, and not who he wanted her to be. This is where I'd say something like stop minimizing Ariel and defining her by her choice of husband, but really, she doesn't need my help. She's probably off curating a museum somewhere when she's not teaching classes about human and merpeople culture or exploring ancient ruins.
Age: 16
Common Complaint: Ariel is a girl so obsessed with a boy that she is hoarding his garbage like a crazy person and is willing to trade her identity and mutilate her body to be with a boy she thinks is cute. Your standard, psycho stalker/hoarder scenario.
The Little Mermaid marks only the 4th Disney Princess in the first 52 years of Disney feature animation and arrived 30 years after Sleeping Beauty. In between Sleeping Beauty and The Little Mermaid, Disney experienced roughly 20 years of quality decline following the death of Walt Disney. The Little Mermaid would turn out to be the first step in restoring Disney to it's former glory and arguably surpassing it.
After a brief prologue, we are introduced the the world of the Merpeople as they gather for a concert to act as Ariel's musical debut. Alas, Ariel is nowhere to be found as she is off exploring. In the first 6 minutes of the movie, we learn that Ariel, who is already a beloved princess, has no real interest in being the center of attention as she is too busy exploring an alien civilization. She doesn't have time for fancy costumes and parties, she's a scholar and explorer. She spends her days exploring shipwrecks and evading sharks, looking for artifacts for her private museum. She's basically Princess Ariel: Tomb Raider. She has a passion for knowledge, even if most of her information comes from a seagull who doesn't know what he's talking about. Because we have knowledge of our own day to day existence, it is easy to laugh at Ariel's mistakes, but it is not a condemnation of her intellect. She is making an effort to learn and become an expert about a world she is passionate about, using the best sources she can find. By even communicating with Scuttle, she is violating the laws of her people, so she is clearly willing to go after what she wants, no matter the cost.
When she returns home, she is confronted by her father, King Triton, who is a severe racist and isolationist. While we can certainly empathize with Triton's concerns, calling an entire race of people barbarians is pretty racist. After Ariel tries unsuccessfully to counter her father's ignorance, she retreats to her museum, where she sings one of the best songs in the Disney canon. "Part of Your World" is sung prior to Ariel having any contact with Prince Eric, meaning her song is not a song about boys, but a song about a woman who longs to be free to explore and pursue knowledge. She wants to leave her one seahorse town and lead her own life. While the title of the song is "Part of Your World", The actual lyric is "Part of THAT world." She is not a hoarder pining after a boy, she is an anthropologist trapped in an insular world that rejects any knowledge of outsiders.
When she finally sees Prince Eric, her fascination with him is an extension of her love of the human world, not the other way around. A well worn trope of the adventure story is of the hero falling in love with a native of the land the hero is exploring (see Pocahontas, Avatar, Ferngully, etc.) In the case of the Little Mermaid, this trope is inverted when the explorer is a mermaid, and the exotic land is Denmark in the 1800s. It is shortly after her first close examination of the humans that a storm arises and she ends up saving Prince Eric from drowning, and sings a song about wanting to be with him. I must admit my bias at this point, because I have direct experience that being involved in a water related accident and being helped by a pretty girl is a great way to woo said pretty girl, just ask my wife (who also said that the Florence Nightingale effect is a real thing). So now our leading princess has heroically saved a very pretty boy of the world and culture she is obsessed with, and has a shared traumatic experience with him. This is the part where I try to remind people that stories happen in a particular order, and given circumstances can change as the plot unfolds, but it is unfair to attribute intentions to characters using information they themselves do not yet have. Sure, Ariel is smitten with a boy she just met and sings a song about wanting to be with him. But at this point in the story, she has no knowledge that becoming human is even a possibility. Her desire to literally become human is still idle fantasy, similar to any teenager daydreaming about being magically united with their favorite celebrity. As a bonus, Ariel, the fighter of sharks and fearless explorer, now has a story about the time she saved a prince from drowning. If she wasn't later caught up in a power grab by a deposed tyrant, this would likely have been the extent of it. Even if her plans to see him again had worked, her best case scenario would have been for her to be a friend and improve human/merpeople relations once the anatomical realities kicked in. She would have eventually phased out of her crush and moved on with her life.
Unfortunately for Ariel, her father is told of her love for a human and goes completely nuts when he catches her in the midst of a romantic daydream. Rather than try to patiently have a discussion with her about the realities and dangers of becoming too attached to someone she can never be with, he goes full fundamentalist and destroys her entire life's work. While the human value of her collection may have been minimal, these were priceless artifacts to her. Imagine if you were 16 and your Father stormed into your room, tore every poster off your wall, smashed your collectibles and burned all of your books because they didn't like who you were associating with. Oh, and your mother is not in the picture so you have no backup parental figure to save you or offer solace. All this happens when 30 seconds earlier, you were happily daydreaming and enjoying being in love. Wouldn't that put you in a slightly emotionally vulnerable state? King Triton does most of Ursula's work for her.
Even in this state, Ariel initially refuses to even go to Ursula until the eel knocks over a piece of Eric's statue. While the traditional reading is that Ariel swims off to be with a boy, the manner in which she leaves and the way she shuts down Sebastian is one of anger and defiance. Her father has just tried to dominate and control her, taking away her ability to make her own choices, so she makes the one choice still available to her. She refuses to be bullied into submission and is running away to live her own life. This is the essence of many Disney stories. They are about the yearning for freedom, adventure, and independence that most children have. The lack of good parenting role models is a great way to allow these characters to get themselves into dramatically interesting situations. Ariel needs to learn from active experience, something that is utterly denied to her at home. Her move isn't a great choice, but it is HER choice.
The scene in Ursula's lair is a classic devil's bargain sequence in which Ursula applies numerous manipulation and sales techniques to trick Ariel into an impossible situation. Ursula starts with an otherwise reasonably intelligent person caught in a highly emotional state and offers her the very thing Ariel most desires, something she never imagined would even be possible. Step two is to tell Ariel that if she can win the heart of the man she loves in three days, she gets to stay human forever. She then gives the consequence of failure, eternal slavery, which, given Ariel's current state of mind, is not much worse off than she perceives she is right now. Only after Ariel has had a few moments to realize the lure of getting her heart's desire does the cost come up. Sales 101: The price comes at the end of the sales pitch because if they can get you emotionally invested in the value of what they are selling, you are less likely to care about the price. Go to any timeshare presentation to see this in action. Ursula is a very good salesman, and so she immediately downplays the price as well, but telling her that in the human world, talk is overrated. So her simplified pitch is basically, "I will give you everything you've ever wanted for a song! Literally!" Then, to seal the deal, Ursula demands and immediate decision, preventing Ariel the time to come to her senses. Step by step, Ursula seduces an intelligent woman into a stupid decision by playing her like a fiddle. This also the same technique Palpatine uses to turn Anakin Skywalker into Darth Vader, except in Star Wars, it is referred to as tragic, but with Ariel, she is often accused of being stupid. What I'm attempting to show is that while Ariel makes an extremely poor choice, it is not because she's just a boy crazy bimbo. The movie just spent half it's run time showing us that she is independent, intelligent and heroic. She is simply caught up in a moment of weakness and tricked into an impossible situation.
Now we come to the part of the movie where Ariel has to woo the prince without being able to speak. This is where jaded adults who grew up with this movie go, "WHY DOESN'T SHE JUST WRITE DOWN WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?! PROBLEM SOLVED!!!" This is where I try to remind folks to review what the given circumstances of the movie are. First, Merfolk are only a myth to the humans. Second, there is no magic that we know of in the human world. Third, despite her best efforts, she has very little working knowledge of human culture and customs. So what exactly is Ariel supposed to write? "Hi, I'm Ariel. I used to be a mermaid, but I saw you and fell in love with you and then my dad blew up my secret room because I saved your life, so I sold my soul to a witch who made me a human but took my voice. Please fall in love with me and kiss me so I don't get turned into a creepy worm thing for all eternity" Yes, that should go over well. Also, her initial attempts to explain come off as random flailing about, so she reverts to simply being herself as best as she can. Even without her voice, her passion for life, and eagerness for new experiences charms everyone she meets. Yes Ariel is in love with a boy and has made one massively ill advised choice under duress, but she has otherwise remained true to herself throughout. She wanted to live in the human world before she fell in love with a boy, and once she was there, she kept her same personality. She does not spend her finite time as a human throwing herself at a boy. She explores the country and tries to experience as much of the human world as possible. Her zest for life is what draws Eric to her. It is her male sidekick characters that try to get her to shamelessly flirt and throw herself at him. But Ariel never tries to force the issue, even after she learns that Eric will marry someone else. However, when she learns that Eric is about to marry Ursula in disguise, she immediately rushes off to save him. She doesn't even hesitate, almost drowning in the attempt (don't swim in a dress kids). The man who just broke her heart is in mortal peril, and she rushes to save him without a second thought because it is the right thing to do. Call it what you will, but I see this as an act of real love.
In the climactic fight against Mega Ursula, Ariel does appear to just be a victim who needs to be saved by a man. But if you think about it for a second, Ariel has actually been rushing to save those she cares about throughout the movie, so she is not so much a damsel in distress as she is a person who is in a situation that has finally become too big for her to handle alone. Also, she already saved Eric's life, and stopped him from marrying a sea witch so he kind of owes her one if he's going to pull his own weight in their relationship. In all of the excitement, it is easy to forget that there is no magical true love's kiss to save the day. Because we are watching a fairy tale, we assume that if Ariel and Eric kiss all will be well, but we are never given a deus ex kiss moment, so whether or not Eric is Ariel's true love is up for debate. What we do know is that they seem to be two nice kids who've been through something extraordinary together. And really, if impaling a 100 ft tall octopus lady with a sunken ship isn't a sign of true love, I don't know what is. In the end, Ariel is able to live the life that feels authentic to her, and her fundi dad finally accepts his daughter for who she is, and not who he wanted her to be. This is where I'd say something like stop minimizing Ariel and defining her by her choice of husband, but really, she doesn't need my help. She's probably off curating a museum somewhere when she's not teaching classes about human and merpeople culture or exploring ancient ruins.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
IDODP - Sleeping Beauty
Movie: Sleeping Beauty 1959
Age: 16
Common Complaint: Sleeping Beauty is a dumb blonde with zero agency who gets saved when she is kissed while unconscious and unable to consent. (see also my previous blog post from a few years ago, I was not a fan)
I think it is worth pointing out that Sleeping Beauty is only the 3rd major Disney Princess since 1937. So for the first 22 years of Disney Feature Animation, we only have 3 of 16 films being "princess" movies. I just like to remind people that there was a time when Disney Princesses were a minor part of the Disney Canon, so there must be a reason that they still feature so prominently in our pop Culture history. Something about these movies connected with people, and I don't believe it is just because all little girls want to be princesses. There has to be something more there.
In the case of Sleeping Beauty, the obvious appeal lies in one of the greatest movie villains of all time, and the astonishingly detailed animation. This movie almost bankrupted the studio, and every penny made it to the screen. I frequently find myself wishing the characters would move off screen so I can just examine the set animation.
But what of Princess Aurora? Of all the princesses, she seems to have the least amount of screen time. She's an infant in the beginning of the movie, and we barely get to know her at all before her world is turned upside down and she is almost killed. The good fairies don't help things when the first gift they give her is the gift of beauty, and then the gift of song. Right off the bat, it seems that the movie is telling us that the best thing a woman can be is beautiful and entertaining. We never learn what Merriweather's gift would have been, but we can hope it would have been something a little more useful, like a the gift of advanced mathematics. So before we even meet a more grown up Aurora, she has been put into the box of a pretty little object to be admired, and not to have any thoughts or opinions of her own. I'm hardly the first person to bring these issues up, but if I'm going to try to defend Aurora as a character, I thought I should at least acknowledge that the movie doesn't make it very easy.
When we finally meet 16 year old Aurora (now called Briar Rose), we find a young woman who does have the gifts of beauty and song, but like most Disney characters, what she longs for is to be allowed to explore her world. She laments still being treated like a child and longs to meet different people. Her whole world is herself, and three eccentric ladies, so it's not surprising that she is interested in meeting a boy. I would argue that a lonely girl longing to find a companion isn't a sign of being an empty headed bimbo, but rather a natural response to a lifetime of isolation. When she meets a handsome stranger in the woods, she seems to be excited and frightened at the same time. Phillip is a little grabby initially, which seems a little creepy, but he does let her leave, and it is after she has put distance between them that she decides she would like to see him again, as soon as possible. I think the order of this sequence is important because if the order had been any different, Phillip becomes a villain and Aurora is just a woman acquiescing to a man. As the film shows it though, Phillip's initial handsiness feels more like the awkward romantic gesture of a young man in a patriarchal medieval society. He lets Aurora go and then woos her in the traditional Disney courtship ritual of singing with animals. He does not try to grab her again, even after she panics and starts to run away, he respects her enough to let her leave, only asking to see her again, and it is Aurora who invites him to her home, setting her own terms. Given her panic at being asked her name, it would be perhaps understandable if at this point, Philip attempted to find the source of her fright and save her, but he lets her leave, and doesn't impose himself upon her. It's a small moment, but given the short amount of time we have for courtship, I have to try to make the most of what is there.
Upon returning to her home, Aurora, after attempting to share with her guardians the exciting day she has had, is blindsided with the news that she is an adopted princess and will be leaving everything behind to live in a castle that night. So here we have an incident in which Aurora's individuality and desires (wanting to invite a new romantic interest to her home to meet her family) is suddenly disregarded by the only family she has ever known and she is stripped of any agency in her own life. Where Philip showed himself (albeit very briefly) to be a person who would allow her to come and go as she pleased and possibly treat her has an equal and a companion, her own family has suddenly betrayed her, wanting to shackle her in a dress and send her off to be married to a complete stranger. "Happy 16th birthday! You're being married off to a monarch and will never see your family or home again!" Aurora is understandably mortified by this news and flees to her room in tears. While it would be easy to criticize her for not simply running away, I empathize with her reaction. A person's bedroom is often a place where they can feel safe to be completely themselves. Visit almost any teenager's bedroom and you will see a shrine to their own sense of self. I spent enough time in my own room as a teenager to know that it can be a place of refuge when faced with difficult, or in Aurora's case, devastating news. Aurora's near catatonic state as she is led to her new home is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of her humanity. Her world has been shattered and she's barely had any time to process this before being ushered away to her new stone prison.
Her guardians, showing a stunning lack of understanding, attempt to cheer her up with a crown, which, being a symbol of the new life she's been forced into, only serves to cause her to break all over again, putting her in a highly vulnerable state. This is a woman who DOES NOT want to be a princess! Honestly, the three Good Fairies show such a tremendous amount of stupidity here that they practically do Maleficent's job for her. By the time Aurora is guided to the spinning wheel, she looks to be almost suicidal. The "good" fairies then compound the issue by knocking out everyone in the kingdom to cover up their failure rather than owning up to it and asking for the whole kingdom's help to solve the issue. They are so dumb, I don't really blame Maleficent for hating them.
Now the movie shifts to the part of the story where the heroic male must save the helpless woman. It should be noted that he wouldn't need to act alone if the fairies hadn't roofied all of his back up, also making him the only viable option to break the spell. At no point did any of them stop to consider the fact that true love's first kiss does not have to be romantic love. Maybe Aurora's parents should have been able to give it a shot. After all, her father attempted to do everything he could, including crippling his kingdom's fabric economy by destroying all the spinning wheels, just to save his daughter's life. So now we've been forced into a story of romance due to the incompetence of the political and magical leadership of this world, and Phillip must save the day, because so far, he is essentially the only one who has treated Aurora as a human being instead of some object to be used as a political chess piece.
Unfortunately, he is currently chained in a dungeon, to be kept prisoner until he is a crippled old man, only then to be released to break the spell as some sort of sick game Maleficent is playing, reminding the audience that Philip is almost just as much of a pawn in this whole thing as the woman he has fallen in love with. Philip has the benefit of at least being conscious though, which enables him to receive help from the "Good" fairies, who are struck by a sudden bout of practicality and usefulness. Philip and the fairies (but mostly the fairies and their magic) kill Maleficent and Phillip gives a closed mouth kiss to the magically sleeping woman he has a crush on, something he knows he has to do in order to break the spell. This is a medicinal kiss, not a creepy abuse of a sleeping woman. Anyway, Aurora chooses to be with the one person who has treated her with any respect in the whole movie, which is not the worst thing in the world, while her former guardians, having learned nothing from their failures, argue over fashion choices. Aurora ignores her ever changing dress, because her looks do not define her. The movie concludes allowing the audience to begin debating whether or not the fairies should be jailed for their crimes against the kingdom, or if their eventual heroism excuses almost 2 decades of incompetent and dangerous abuse of power.
For a more honest treatment of the Fairies, I highly recommend the live action version of this story, Maleficent.
UP NEXT:
The Little Mermaid - 1989
Beauty and the Beast - 1991
Aladdin - 1992
Pocahontas - 1995
Hunchback of Notre Dame - 1996
Mulan - 1998
Lilo & Stitch - 2002
The Incredibles - 2004
The Princess and the Frog - 2009
Tangled - 2010
Brave - 2012
Frozen - 2013
Age: 16
Common Complaint: Sleeping Beauty is a dumb blonde with zero agency who gets saved when she is kissed while unconscious and unable to consent. (see also my previous blog post from a few years ago, I was not a fan)
I think it is worth pointing out that Sleeping Beauty is only the 3rd major Disney Princess since 1937. So for the first 22 years of Disney Feature Animation, we only have 3 of 16 films being "princess" movies. I just like to remind people that there was a time when Disney Princesses were a minor part of the Disney Canon, so there must be a reason that they still feature so prominently in our pop Culture history. Something about these movies connected with people, and I don't believe it is just because all little girls want to be princesses. There has to be something more there.
In the case of Sleeping Beauty, the obvious appeal lies in one of the greatest movie villains of all time, and the astonishingly detailed animation. This movie almost bankrupted the studio, and every penny made it to the screen. I frequently find myself wishing the characters would move off screen so I can just examine the set animation.
But what of Princess Aurora? Of all the princesses, she seems to have the least amount of screen time. She's an infant in the beginning of the movie, and we barely get to know her at all before her world is turned upside down and she is almost killed. The good fairies don't help things when the first gift they give her is the gift of beauty, and then the gift of song. Right off the bat, it seems that the movie is telling us that the best thing a woman can be is beautiful and entertaining. We never learn what Merriweather's gift would have been, but we can hope it would have been something a little more useful, like a the gift of advanced mathematics. So before we even meet a more grown up Aurora, she has been put into the box of a pretty little object to be admired, and not to have any thoughts or opinions of her own. I'm hardly the first person to bring these issues up, but if I'm going to try to defend Aurora as a character, I thought I should at least acknowledge that the movie doesn't make it very easy.
When we finally meet 16 year old Aurora (now called Briar Rose), we find a young woman who does have the gifts of beauty and song, but like most Disney characters, what she longs for is to be allowed to explore her world. She laments still being treated like a child and longs to meet different people. Her whole world is herself, and three eccentric ladies, so it's not surprising that she is interested in meeting a boy. I would argue that a lonely girl longing to find a companion isn't a sign of being an empty headed bimbo, but rather a natural response to a lifetime of isolation. When she meets a handsome stranger in the woods, she seems to be excited and frightened at the same time. Phillip is a little grabby initially, which seems a little creepy, but he does let her leave, and it is after she has put distance between them that she decides she would like to see him again, as soon as possible. I think the order of this sequence is important because if the order had been any different, Phillip becomes a villain and Aurora is just a woman acquiescing to a man. As the film shows it though, Phillip's initial handsiness feels more like the awkward romantic gesture of a young man in a patriarchal medieval society. He lets Aurora go and then woos her in the traditional Disney courtship ritual of singing with animals. He does not try to grab her again, even after she panics and starts to run away, he respects her enough to let her leave, only asking to see her again, and it is Aurora who invites him to her home, setting her own terms. Given her panic at being asked her name, it would be perhaps understandable if at this point, Philip attempted to find the source of her fright and save her, but he lets her leave, and doesn't impose himself upon her. It's a small moment, but given the short amount of time we have for courtship, I have to try to make the most of what is there.
Upon returning to her home, Aurora, after attempting to share with her guardians the exciting day she has had, is blindsided with the news that she is an adopted princess and will be leaving everything behind to live in a castle that night. So here we have an incident in which Aurora's individuality and desires (wanting to invite a new romantic interest to her home to meet her family) is suddenly disregarded by the only family she has ever known and she is stripped of any agency in her own life. Where Philip showed himself (albeit very briefly) to be a person who would allow her to come and go as she pleased and possibly treat her has an equal and a companion, her own family has suddenly betrayed her, wanting to shackle her in a dress and send her off to be married to a complete stranger. "Happy 16th birthday! You're being married off to a monarch and will never see your family or home again!" Aurora is understandably mortified by this news and flees to her room in tears. While it would be easy to criticize her for not simply running away, I empathize with her reaction. A person's bedroom is often a place where they can feel safe to be completely themselves. Visit almost any teenager's bedroom and you will see a shrine to their own sense of self. I spent enough time in my own room as a teenager to know that it can be a place of refuge when faced with difficult, or in Aurora's case, devastating news. Aurora's near catatonic state as she is led to her new home is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of her humanity. Her world has been shattered and she's barely had any time to process this before being ushered away to her new stone prison.
Her guardians, showing a stunning lack of understanding, attempt to cheer her up with a crown, which, being a symbol of the new life she's been forced into, only serves to cause her to break all over again, putting her in a highly vulnerable state. This is a woman who DOES NOT want to be a princess! Honestly, the three Good Fairies show such a tremendous amount of stupidity here that they practically do Maleficent's job for her. By the time Aurora is guided to the spinning wheel, she looks to be almost suicidal. The "good" fairies then compound the issue by knocking out everyone in the kingdom to cover up their failure rather than owning up to it and asking for the whole kingdom's help to solve the issue. They are so dumb, I don't really blame Maleficent for hating them.
Now the movie shifts to the part of the story where the heroic male must save the helpless woman. It should be noted that he wouldn't need to act alone if the fairies hadn't roofied all of his back up, also making him the only viable option to break the spell. At no point did any of them stop to consider the fact that true love's first kiss does not have to be romantic love. Maybe Aurora's parents should have been able to give it a shot. After all, her father attempted to do everything he could, including crippling his kingdom's fabric economy by destroying all the spinning wheels, just to save his daughter's life. So now we've been forced into a story of romance due to the incompetence of the political and magical leadership of this world, and Phillip must save the day, because so far, he is essentially the only one who has treated Aurora as a human being instead of some object to be used as a political chess piece.
Unfortunately, he is currently chained in a dungeon, to be kept prisoner until he is a crippled old man, only then to be released to break the spell as some sort of sick game Maleficent is playing, reminding the audience that Philip is almost just as much of a pawn in this whole thing as the woman he has fallen in love with. Philip has the benefit of at least being conscious though, which enables him to receive help from the "Good" fairies, who are struck by a sudden bout of practicality and usefulness. Philip and the fairies (but mostly the fairies and their magic) kill Maleficent and Phillip gives a closed mouth kiss to the magically sleeping woman he has a crush on, something he knows he has to do in order to break the spell. This is a medicinal kiss, not a creepy abuse of a sleeping woman. Anyway, Aurora chooses to be with the one person who has treated her with any respect in the whole movie, which is not the worst thing in the world, while her former guardians, having learned nothing from their failures, argue over fashion choices. Aurora ignores her ever changing dress, because her looks do not define her. The movie concludes allowing the audience to begin debating whether or not the fairies should be jailed for their crimes against the kingdom, or if their eventual heroism excuses almost 2 decades of incompetent and dangerous abuse of power.
For a more honest treatment of the Fairies, I highly recommend the live action version of this story, Maleficent.
UP NEXT:
The Little Mermaid - 1989
Beauty and the Beast - 1991
Aladdin - 1992
Pocahontas - 1995
Hunchback of Notre Dame - 1996
Mulan - 1998
Lilo & Stitch - 2002
The Incredibles - 2004
The Princess and the Frog - 2009
Tangled - 2010
Brave - 2012
Frozen - 2013
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
IDODP - Alice in Wonderland
I've been putting this post off for a very long time, hopping that I would be able to come up with something meaningful to say. I'm not sure that is gonna happen anytime soon, but it's time to move forward in the project, so here goes nothing. I will try to do better next time.
Alice in Wonderland represents the first movie in this series that does not feature a princess. So why did I include it? Two reasons: I thought it would be important to look at the first female protagonist not involved in a traditional fairy tale romance, and secondly, I have never liked this movie and I'm trying to find nice things to say about it. In this second instance, I am the one who has issues with the movie even though my general impression is that Alice does not suffer nearly the same level of condescension that other Disney Heroines receive, with the exception of those people who think that Alice in Wonderland is only an advertisement for the wonders of psychotropic drugs. While I'm sure that psilocybin is a fine thing for some folks, I would like to focus on the other aspects of Alice's character that don't involve her future stint in rehab.
When we first meet Alice, she appears to be another lazy child who has no interest in learning. Alice quickly reveals that it isn't so much learning she is against as she is lack of stimulation. She is a child of immense imagination who needs a more interactive form of education that simply sitting there and being lectured at. Given her demonstrated knowledge later in the film, it seems to me that she is a girl merely in need of an afternoon well wasted on utter nonsense, which is a good thing because after about 12 viewings of this film, I've come to the conclusion that that is what this movie is about, and appreciation of nonsense.
In this latest viewing, I finally stopped trying to force grand meanings out of every single segment. I partially blame Kevin Smith and the opening airport sequence in Dogma for tricking me into thinking that the wonderland story had to have deep, multi-layered meaning. When I stopped trying to put all the pieces together, I was able to appreciate the movie on it's own terms. What I discovered was a wonderfully creative dreamscape piece, with Mary Blair's artwork being the truly magnificent focus point. This movie is less a coherent narrative, and more so an ever shifting piece of art. The movie has captured the random connections and digressions that tend to make up our own daydreams. In this instance it is the daydream of a very bright 11 year old girl.
My favorite aspect of Alice as a character is that she isn't perfect. She can be headstrong and stubborn, but she also can think for herself and get out of problems by herself as well. Her temper is that of any ordinary child, and she feels authentic from beginning to end. She is curious about the world she finds herself in, but she can only tolerate so much nonsense before she begins to long for a world that makes more sense to her, a sentiment I share with her more deeply every day. Unlike many of the other films, there aren't any male characters that have any real power. The Cheshire Cat is the only one who isn't a complete bumbling idiot in one way or another, and I think he barely makes the cut (plus, I'm not sure his gender is ever really defined). The films authority figures are Alice's tutor, and the Red Queen, both woman, albeit on opposite sides of the spectrum. The male figures are either crazy, pompous old wind bags, or a bit of both. If there are any lessons in the movie, I think you have to look at Alice's song she sings to herself, "I give myself such good advice, but I seldom follow it." Alice is caught in a world without worthy authority figures and she must look to herself for guidance, only to discover that knowing what to do, and actually doing it are two very different things.
Alice in Wonderland represents the first movie in this series that does not feature a princess. So why did I include it? Two reasons: I thought it would be important to look at the first female protagonist not involved in a traditional fairy tale romance, and secondly, I have never liked this movie and I'm trying to find nice things to say about it. In this second instance, I am the one who has issues with the movie even though my general impression is that Alice does not suffer nearly the same level of condescension that other Disney Heroines receive, with the exception of those people who think that Alice in Wonderland is only an advertisement for the wonders of psychotropic drugs. While I'm sure that psilocybin is a fine thing for some folks, I would like to focus on the other aspects of Alice's character that don't involve her future stint in rehab.
When we first meet Alice, she appears to be another lazy child who has no interest in learning. Alice quickly reveals that it isn't so much learning she is against as she is lack of stimulation. She is a child of immense imagination who needs a more interactive form of education that simply sitting there and being lectured at. Given her demonstrated knowledge later in the film, it seems to me that she is a girl merely in need of an afternoon well wasted on utter nonsense, which is a good thing because after about 12 viewings of this film, I've come to the conclusion that that is what this movie is about, and appreciation of nonsense.
In this latest viewing, I finally stopped trying to force grand meanings out of every single segment. I partially blame Kevin Smith and the opening airport sequence in Dogma for tricking me into thinking that the wonderland story had to have deep, multi-layered meaning. When I stopped trying to put all the pieces together, I was able to appreciate the movie on it's own terms. What I discovered was a wonderfully creative dreamscape piece, with Mary Blair's artwork being the truly magnificent focus point. This movie is less a coherent narrative, and more so an ever shifting piece of art. The movie has captured the random connections and digressions that tend to make up our own daydreams. In this instance it is the daydream of a very bright 11 year old girl.
My favorite aspect of Alice as a character is that she isn't perfect. She can be headstrong and stubborn, but she also can think for herself and get out of problems by herself as well. Her temper is that of any ordinary child, and she feels authentic from beginning to end. She is curious about the world she finds herself in, but she can only tolerate so much nonsense before she begins to long for a world that makes more sense to her, a sentiment I share with her more deeply every day. Unlike many of the other films, there aren't any male characters that have any real power. The Cheshire Cat is the only one who isn't a complete bumbling idiot in one way or another, and I think he barely makes the cut (plus, I'm not sure his gender is ever really defined). The films authority figures are Alice's tutor, and the Red Queen, both woman, albeit on opposite sides of the spectrum. The male figures are either crazy, pompous old wind bags, or a bit of both. If there are any lessons in the movie, I think you have to look at Alice's song she sings to herself, "I give myself such good advice, but I seldom follow it." Alice is caught in a world without worthy authority figures and she must look to herself for guidance, only to discover that knowing what to do, and actually doing it are two very different things.
Thursday, July 2, 2015
IDODP: Cinderella
Movie: Cinderella 1950
Age: 19
Common Complaints: Man saves her to make all her dreams come true. The poster child for spoiled rich brat weddings everywhere.
Cinderella is one of my very favorite Disney movies, and I get more than a little angry when I see high end Cinderella themed weddings. To me, it just shows people being focused on the happy ending and missing the trials and tribulations it took to get there.
Cinderella is the first major animated feature released after World War II and it has a more adult feel than Snow White. For one thing, Cinderella is 5 years older than Snow White and has a world weary sense of maturity. While sweet and kind, Cinderella also has a snarky side. She clearly despises her situation, but chooses to remain civil around her abusive step-family. She seems to be cut from the same cloth as Albus Dumbledore in that she understands that weakness and manners are not the same thing. But let's get into the movie go into a little more detail.
As the movie opens, we learn of Cinderella's wealthy and privileged childhood. When her father dies, her step-mother drains the bank account to spoil her own daughters and forces Cinderella to become a servant in her own home. The term "scullery Maid" is used to describe her at one point. So, for the second princess movie in a row, the villain's chosen form of vile punishment is to sentence our protagonist to a life as a domestic servant. I hardly think showing female characters aspiring to be more than a house maid is a bad lesson for young girls.
It's also interesting to note that it is the king who is baby crazy. His whole reason for trying to trick his son into marriage is so he can have grandkids. When we look at the motivations of the characters in the movie, we have a whole cast of characters with dubious life goals. The king wants a baby-factory for his son, Lady Tremaine wants to maintain her high station and her daughters want to marry the prince so they can be rich and famous (they're basically the Kardashians). So what is Cinderella's goal? We are told in the opening sequence that she has dreams of happiness, and she does want to go to the ball, but I would argue that the ball is symbolic of her greater goal, which is to escape her life of servitude and be able to live where she is treated with respect and dignity. She wants to have value as a human being again. The ball is just a chance for her to earn a few hours reprieve from the nightmare that her life has become. We actually never hear Cinderella pine away for a handsome man to rescue her. In "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" She specifically refuses to tell her animal companions what her dream is and we are left to fill in the blanks, based on the fairytale nature of the story, it is easy for us to assume that she just wants a man, but I think she deserves a lot more credit than that.
One aspect of the movie that is a little tricky is Cinderella's seeming lack of agency. To be fair, she does spend a large portion of the movie being victimized by her family and doing endless chores until a magical agent comes to help make everything better. I think that is a rather cynical way to view the film. What is often missed is the way Cinderella treats those below her, namely her animal friends. By maintaining a positive outlook and treating others with kindness, her friends are willing to risk life and limb to help make her dreams come true. I see the Fairy Godmother character as a fantastical representation of the way life can offer amazing opportunities to those who are kind to others. How many "feel good" news stories do we get to see every year about a community or generous benefactor coming to the aid of a good person in need. From Stephen Colbert funding schools in his home state to community fundraisers to aid families dealing with illness, we see real life examples all the time of this "fairy godmother" action. In all these instances, the change isn't necessarily permanent. Cinderella only has until midnight to live her dream and it's up to her to make the most of it. She is simply given an opportunity and she must make the best of it. She goes to the ball with an open heart and a positive attitude. As any relationship advisor could tell you, confidence is what draws someone to you almost more than any other factor. The dress helps, but Cinderella wins the heart of the prince by being who she is. It's also important to note that she didn't know she had met the prince. Why, you ask? By specifically pointing out that she thought she had spent a romantic evening with a regular guy, it reinforces that fact that Cinderella is not greedy or simply hoping to regain past glory. She wants her freedom and wants to be loved, but she is no gold digger.
At the end of the movie, an extended heist scene is used in order to make Cinderella and active participant in her own salvation. If the Duke drives up and just throws the slipper on her, she is just a trophy. Instead she is locked in a tower, saved by her mouse friends and has the presence of mind to have the other slipper on her. When the other slipper is destroyed, it is Cinderella who must speak up and produce the matching slipper. She has gone through a massive pile of crap throughout the whole movie and is finally able to leave her horrid life to begin a new life with a new family, and she gets to be queen someday.
As a final note, this is what Walt Disney himself had to say about Cinderella, "She believed in dreams, all right, but she also believed in doing something about them. When Prince Charming didn't come along, she went over to the palace and got him.”
Age: 19
Common Complaints: Man saves her to make all her dreams come true. The poster child for spoiled rich brat weddings everywhere.
Cinderella is one of my very favorite Disney movies, and I get more than a little angry when I see high end Cinderella themed weddings. To me, it just shows people being focused on the happy ending and missing the trials and tribulations it took to get there.
Cinderella is the first major animated feature released after World War II and it has a more adult feel than Snow White. For one thing, Cinderella is 5 years older than Snow White and has a world weary sense of maturity. While sweet and kind, Cinderella also has a snarky side. She clearly despises her situation, but chooses to remain civil around her abusive step-family. She seems to be cut from the same cloth as Albus Dumbledore in that she understands that weakness and manners are not the same thing. But let's get into the movie go into a little more detail.
As the movie opens, we learn of Cinderella's wealthy and privileged childhood. When her father dies, her step-mother drains the bank account to spoil her own daughters and forces Cinderella to become a servant in her own home. The term "scullery Maid" is used to describe her at one point. So, for the second princess movie in a row, the villain's chosen form of vile punishment is to sentence our protagonist to a life as a domestic servant. I hardly think showing female characters aspiring to be more than a house maid is a bad lesson for young girls.
It's also interesting to note that it is the king who is baby crazy. His whole reason for trying to trick his son into marriage is so he can have grandkids. When we look at the motivations of the characters in the movie, we have a whole cast of characters with dubious life goals. The king wants a baby-factory for his son, Lady Tremaine wants to maintain her high station and her daughters want to marry the prince so they can be rich and famous (they're basically the Kardashians). So what is Cinderella's goal? We are told in the opening sequence that she has dreams of happiness, and she does want to go to the ball, but I would argue that the ball is symbolic of her greater goal, which is to escape her life of servitude and be able to live where she is treated with respect and dignity. She wants to have value as a human being again. The ball is just a chance for her to earn a few hours reprieve from the nightmare that her life has become. We actually never hear Cinderella pine away for a handsome man to rescue her. In "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" She specifically refuses to tell her animal companions what her dream is and we are left to fill in the blanks, based on the fairytale nature of the story, it is easy for us to assume that she just wants a man, but I think she deserves a lot more credit than that.
One aspect of the movie that is a little tricky is Cinderella's seeming lack of agency. To be fair, she does spend a large portion of the movie being victimized by her family and doing endless chores until a magical agent comes to help make everything better. I think that is a rather cynical way to view the film. What is often missed is the way Cinderella treats those below her, namely her animal friends. By maintaining a positive outlook and treating others with kindness, her friends are willing to risk life and limb to help make her dreams come true. I see the Fairy Godmother character as a fantastical representation of the way life can offer amazing opportunities to those who are kind to others. How many "feel good" news stories do we get to see every year about a community or generous benefactor coming to the aid of a good person in need. From Stephen Colbert funding schools in his home state to community fundraisers to aid families dealing with illness, we see real life examples all the time of this "fairy godmother" action. In all these instances, the change isn't necessarily permanent. Cinderella only has until midnight to live her dream and it's up to her to make the most of it. She is simply given an opportunity and she must make the best of it. She goes to the ball with an open heart and a positive attitude. As any relationship advisor could tell you, confidence is what draws someone to you almost more than any other factor. The dress helps, but Cinderella wins the heart of the prince by being who she is. It's also important to note that she didn't know she had met the prince. Why, you ask? By specifically pointing out that she thought she had spent a romantic evening with a regular guy, it reinforces that fact that Cinderella is not greedy or simply hoping to regain past glory. She wants her freedom and wants to be loved, but she is no gold digger.
At the end of the movie, an extended heist scene is used in order to make Cinderella and active participant in her own salvation. If the Duke drives up and just throws the slipper on her, she is just a trophy. Instead she is locked in a tower, saved by her mouse friends and has the presence of mind to have the other slipper on her. When the other slipper is destroyed, it is Cinderella who must speak up and produce the matching slipper. She has gone through a massive pile of crap throughout the whole movie and is finally able to leave her horrid life to begin a new life with a new family, and she gets to be queen someday.
As a final note, this is what Walt Disney himself had to say about Cinderella, "She believed in dreams, all right, but she also believed in doing something about them. When Prince Charming didn't come along, she went over to the palace and got him.”
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
In Defense of Disney Princesses: Snow White & the Seven Dwarves
In the highly unlikely event that this post circulates beyond my usual almost two dozen readers, let me be clear: this is merely intended as a thought exercise and I in no way intend this to be a definitive interpretation. It's just one guys thoughts. With that said, let's begin.
Movie: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937)
Princess: Snow White, aged 15 or 16
Common complaints: Snow White is a shockingly naive girl who will eat anything a stranger gives her and her biggest talent is for housework, her life goal? Find a man to take care of her.
I will be trying to mention the ages of the princesses when I can find them as I think it is important to remember that we are talking about characters who in many cases are roughly the same age as an average high school freshman or sophomore. If you remember the sort of things you believed about love when you were in high school, I think you might be able to be a little more understanding of where these characters are coming from.
When our movie opens, we learn that the evil Queen has forced Snow White to live and work as a scullery maid. For those who might not know, a scullery maid is the maid that all the other servants get to boss around and give the really crappy chores to like cleaning the stove and oven, gutting and scaling fish, and scouring the pots and pans. Scullery maids generally had to eat in the kitchen alone so they could keep any eye on the food that was cooking. So we are starting with the premise of a Queen with so much power and ability to cause fear that she was able to subjugate the Princess and only heir to the throne and make her the lowest servant in the castle. Suddenly it makes more sense why Snow White is so friendly with the animals. Who else does she even have to talk to?! It seems to be common knowledge that the Queen is a psychopath with magical power (even the dwarves know about her) so it stands to reason that no one will be going out of their way to be nice to the girl the Queen hates most. This is not a pampered princess who is good at housekeeping because that's just how women should be, this is a young girl who was denied her birthright and forced to live as an indentured servant in her own home. Given her circumstances, it's actually quite surprising that Snow White still has enough spirit left to daydream about meeting a nice boy someday.
Speaking of the nice boy, our prince charming overhears Snow singing by the water well and climbs the wall to investigate, then sings full on from right behind her. A dumb naive princess might swoon and be swept away right there, but Snow White has the good sense to get the heck out of there and hide behind a solid wooden door and stone walls. She is then able to see that the prince, while not very subtle, does not intend to do her harm and she is flattered and a little smitten as well, but she does not go out to him.
We next see Snow White when she has been taken outside with the huntsman to pick flowers/be murdered. I like the fact that the Queen lets Snow change into nice clothes when she is outside of the castle, probably to give the impression that she isn't being abused horribly. Ok, it was mostly like a decision by Walt and the animation team to let Snow be wearing something other than ratty clothes for the whole movie, but my idea seems to fit too. Anyway, The huntsman stalks towards Snow White as she is having a nice chat with a baby bird when he has a crisis of conscience and cannot kill the nice girl who loves animals. He warns Snow White that the Queen will stop at nothing to see her dead and tells her to run away. This is significant because we can see by the huntsman's actions that Snow White has enough charisma and character that he would risk his life to save her. I don't think it is too big a leap to assume that he was horribly executed once the queen discovered his betrayal. You don't make a life altering decision like that solely because someone is pretty.
So Snow White freaks out and runs into the forest where she is attacked by all kinds of tree monsters. While it would be easy to view this as only a damsel in distress moment, I would ask that you watch the scene all the way through. Yes, Snow White had a full on panic attack, but in her defense, she just had her flower picking and bird watching trip interrupted when the guy accompanying her pulled a giant knife on her and then told her to run away or she would be murdered by her step mother. That's a lot for a 15 year old to take in the span of 30 seconds. But after she collapses from fear and has a good cry, she looks up and sees that there is nothing to be afraid of. Not only that, but she tells herself that the worst is over now and she shouldn't be scared because she will find a way to take care of herself. Snow White, on her own, clearly states that she is fully capable of taking care of herself, full stop. She then immediately begins to work out what her situation is so she can decide her next move. We are in a fantasy world, so she is able to ask the animals for information. She doesn't say, "please take care of me, for I am a helpless little girl." She instead notes that she will need to find suitable shelter for the night and asks if the animals know of a safe place that she might stay. It turns out that animals, like most people, are very willing to give assistance to someone who asks politely and shows kindness.
When Snow White arrives at the cottage, she sees the state of the place and assumes that this is a home where orphans live, with no one to take care of them. Since she is neither a victim nor a mooch, and since no one is home at the moment, she decides that the best way to make herself a welcome house guest to a bunch of strangers is to try to help tidy the place up and cook a hot meal as an offering. She doesn't cook and clean because those are the only things women are good for; she cooks and cleans because she wants to earn her keep, and those are two skills that she is very good at because that is what she's been forced to do almost everyday of her life. If the Queen had forced her to thatch roofs or build furniture, she probably would have done that instead. But she's good at cooking and cleaning, and she has a house full of woodland creatures willing to help her, and she only has one little cottage to see to instead of a whole castle. If my workload shrank by 90% AND I got an army of anthropomorphized critters to help me, I'd whistle while I worked too!
After cleaning the house, Snow White falls asleep in the dwarves' beds, which is a little rude, but she's had a rough day and it allows the story to shift to the plotting of the Queen and Dwarves' discovery that they've been visited by the nicest home invader not named Santa Claus. When Snow White wakes up, she is very quickly able to gain the trust of the dwarves and has them following her every command in almost no time flat. She does this by being tactful, kind, and confident. So on the same day she was almost murdered, she had the strength of character to dust herself off, find a place a refuge, and make herself head of the household before bedtime. This girl has serious leadership skills and would be top management material today. Snow White is a natural leader who commands respect by giving it generously. She is not false or calculating, and yet, everyone she encounters becomes enamored with her and wants to follow her. No wonder the Queen wants her dead.
Which brings me to a point about the whole reason the Queen wants to kill Snow White. Now I know this is a bit of a stretch, but go with me here for just a minute. I'm well aware that the word 'fairest' is an old fashioned word used to describe a beautiful woman, but that isn't the only meaning. In fact, most of the other definitions describe just and righteous behavior and legitimate actions. These are all definitions that fit Snow White. The Queen uses the word in reference to physical beauty, but she is talking to her slave in the magic mirror when she says it. Since the spirit in the mirror is a slave, it is safe to assume that it does not have the Queen's best interests in mind. What the spirit does have is supernatural knowledge of the world, and a likely desire to no longer be enslaved to a lunatic. I believe that it makes sense then for the spirit to be giving the Queen an answer to a questions she did not intend to ask. The spirit sets up the Queen by describing the physical beauty of Snow White, knowing full well that this information will drive the Queen mad with jealousy. In her rage, it never occurs to her that being 'the fairest in the land' could mean so much more than physical appearance. It is the other definitions of the word 'fairest' that inspire the animals, the dwarves, and even the huntsman to aid her and follow her. Even the prince first saw her at her grossest and was charmed by her singing and manner before he ever got a good look at her face. It is this inner fairness that the Queen never sees or accounts for and it becomes her downfall.
Back to the plot, after a rousing party with the Dwarves, Snow White is asked to tell them a love story. This is where she sings, "Someday My Prince Will Come." If you are looking for an empowered song about equal love and partnership, this is not it. This is a fairytale song about falling in love and living happily ever after. My only defense is that is is exactly the kind of story the dwarves asked for, it's catchy as hell, and I think every single person secretly has their own dream of what happily ever after is and it's ok to admit that once and a while, no matter how silly we know it is.
The next morning, the Dwarves all leave and warn her to be careful. Notice that they all trust her enough to leave her home alone. She's already proved that she can take care of herself and doesn't need constant protection. They acknowledge the reality of her situation, but she isn't treated like a victim or fragile flower. When the old hag arrives at the cottage window, Snow White does try to be careful. In fact, she gives no indication that she will have anything to do with the old hag until she is attacked by birds. Up until this point, Snow White reacts about how you would expect when a strange person is suddenly all up in your personal space. She is apprehensive and very cautious. Remember, this is the same girl who has been making fast friends with everyone she has come across until this point. It is only when her bird friends attack the old hag that Snow White throws caution to the wind and takes pity on the old woman. Snow White is still apprehensive when the old hag is in the house and it almost feels like she bites the apple partly as a sort of attempt to appease the crazy old woman so she can politely send her on her way. This is the kind of behavior I think you can understand from a 15 year old, alone in an unfamiliar situation with a disconcerting but harmless looking individual. Kudos to the Queen at this point, because it is a truly unexpected disguise. The Queen did not, however, anticipate the ferocious response to her crime. She is chased to a dead end on a cliff, and we are spared a grisly fight scene when a thunderbolt strikes just right to cause the Queen to fall to her death (and be crushed be the boulder that falls down after her) Sure is a shame that thunderbolt. It was a gloriously sunny day only moments before. I wonder if there was any sort of all seeing spirit, with supernatural powers, who might have had a grudge against the Queen and would know exactly where she was at that moment.....this is why you don't enslave spirits in a mirror and force them to constantly tell you how pretty you are.
And now we come to the scene in which hilarious bloggers and internet comedy writers like to make jokes about necrophilia and lack of consent. The Dwarves, unable to bring themselves to bury Snow White, create a glass coffin and place her in a beautiful spot in the woods where they can watch over her and mourn her. You don't get this sort of devotion by just being pretty. People have to really like you as a person to go through all that trouble. And before you ask, I assume that they never changed their minds and buried her because she never started to rot and stink. If you have a body sitting outside for months and nothing changes, either something magical is a foot, or you can't tell the difference between a person and a mannequin. Finally, the prince comes along, after months or trying to figure out what happened to that girl he met once, he finds her in the woods, on a coffin, surrounded by men in mourning. He sees the girl who he's been thinking about constantly, who is presumed dead now, and gives her a short, respectful kiss and kneels with a bowed head to mourn her as well. I've been to funerals and I've seen people kiss loved ones goodbye. That is what the prince was doing, paying final respects, giving a brief peck on the lips to say goodbye. Yes they only met once for a brief time, but this is a guy who burst into song 30 seconds after seeing her. He clearly has a lot of feelings and I am impressed that he was as subtle as he was. No goodbye ballad or wailing, just a light kiss and a bowed head. And the fact that she woke up by definition proves that their connection was real. That's what true loves kiss means. If it's not true love, she's still lying there until the end of time.
The fairytale ending is not great, with Snow White and the prince riding off into the sunset together, but she's earned it, and I think we learn enough to know that she won't just sit around eating bon bons. This is a girl who gets things done and knows how to lead. Perhaps the problem with "and they lived happily ever after" is the lack of specificity to what that actually means. Happily ever after doesn't mean a life without rewarding work and adventure. I think when we're kids, happily ever after means endless summer vacation and all the candy you can eat and when we grow older, we never reexamine that phrase. Personally, I think everyone's happily ever after is something different. I also think that since the kiss broke the spell, that it means that the prince also is the kind of person who can lead by example with kindness and respect and that they probably went on to have a very fulfilling and rewarding life together, growing and learning to the end of their days....or they were both instantly crushed to death when the story book was closed at the end of the movie, and happily ever after was a very short, but accurate description of their final moments.
Movie: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937)
Princess: Snow White, aged 15 or 16
Common complaints: Snow White is a shockingly naive girl who will eat anything a stranger gives her and her biggest talent is for housework, her life goal? Find a man to take care of her.
I will be trying to mention the ages of the princesses when I can find them as I think it is important to remember that we are talking about characters who in many cases are roughly the same age as an average high school freshman or sophomore. If you remember the sort of things you believed about love when you were in high school, I think you might be able to be a little more understanding of where these characters are coming from.
When our movie opens, we learn that the evil Queen has forced Snow White to live and work as a scullery maid. For those who might not know, a scullery maid is the maid that all the other servants get to boss around and give the really crappy chores to like cleaning the stove and oven, gutting and scaling fish, and scouring the pots and pans. Scullery maids generally had to eat in the kitchen alone so they could keep any eye on the food that was cooking. So we are starting with the premise of a Queen with so much power and ability to cause fear that she was able to subjugate the Princess and only heir to the throne and make her the lowest servant in the castle. Suddenly it makes more sense why Snow White is so friendly with the animals. Who else does she even have to talk to?! It seems to be common knowledge that the Queen is a psychopath with magical power (even the dwarves know about her) so it stands to reason that no one will be going out of their way to be nice to the girl the Queen hates most. This is not a pampered princess who is good at housekeeping because that's just how women should be, this is a young girl who was denied her birthright and forced to live as an indentured servant in her own home. Given her circumstances, it's actually quite surprising that Snow White still has enough spirit left to daydream about meeting a nice boy someday.
Speaking of the nice boy, our prince charming overhears Snow singing by the water well and climbs the wall to investigate, then sings full on from right behind her. A dumb naive princess might swoon and be swept away right there, but Snow White has the good sense to get the heck out of there and hide behind a solid wooden door and stone walls. She is then able to see that the prince, while not very subtle, does not intend to do her harm and she is flattered and a little smitten as well, but she does not go out to him.
We next see Snow White when she has been taken outside with the huntsman to pick flowers/be murdered. I like the fact that the Queen lets Snow change into nice clothes when she is outside of the castle, probably to give the impression that she isn't being abused horribly. Ok, it was mostly like a decision by Walt and the animation team to let Snow be wearing something other than ratty clothes for the whole movie, but my idea seems to fit too. Anyway, The huntsman stalks towards Snow White as she is having a nice chat with a baby bird when he has a crisis of conscience and cannot kill the nice girl who loves animals. He warns Snow White that the Queen will stop at nothing to see her dead and tells her to run away. This is significant because we can see by the huntsman's actions that Snow White has enough charisma and character that he would risk his life to save her. I don't think it is too big a leap to assume that he was horribly executed once the queen discovered his betrayal. You don't make a life altering decision like that solely because someone is pretty.
So Snow White freaks out and runs into the forest where she is attacked by all kinds of tree monsters. While it would be easy to view this as only a damsel in distress moment, I would ask that you watch the scene all the way through. Yes, Snow White had a full on panic attack, but in her defense, she just had her flower picking and bird watching trip interrupted when the guy accompanying her pulled a giant knife on her and then told her to run away or she would be murdered by her step mother. That's a lot for a 15 year old to take in the span of 30 seconds. But after she collapses from fear and has a good cry, she looks up and sees that there is nothing to be afraid of. Not only that, but she tells herself that the worst is over now and she shouldn't be scared because she will find a way to take care of herself. Snow White, on her own, clearly states that she is fully capable of taking care of herself, full stop. She then immediately begins to work out what her situation is so she can decide her next move. We are in a fantasy world, so she is able to ask the animals for information. She doesn't say, "please take care of me, for I am a helpless little girl." She instead notes that she will need to find suitable shelter for the night and asks if the animals know of a safe place that she might stay. It turns out that animals, like most people, are very willing to give assistance to someone who asks politely and shows kindness.
When Snow White arrives at the cottage, she sees the state of the place and assumes that this is a home where orphans live, with no one to take care of them. Since she is neither a victim nor a mooch, and since no one is home at the moment, she decides that the best way to make herself a welcome house guest to a bunch of strangers is to try to help tidy the place up and cook a hot meal as an offering. She doesn't cook and clean because those are the only things women are good for; she cooks and cleans because she wants to earn her keep, and those are two skills that she is very good at because that is what she's been forced to do almost everyday of her life. If the Queen had forced her to thatch roofs or build furniture, she probably would have done that instead. But she's good at cooking and cleaning, and she has a house full of woodland creatures willing to help her, and she only has one little cottage to see to instead of a whole castle. If my workload shrank by 90% AND I got an army of anthropomorphized critters to help me, I'd whistle while I worked too!
After cleaning the house, Snow White falls asleep in the dwarves' beds, which is a little rude, but she's had a rough day and it allows the story to shift to the plotting of the Queen and Dwarves' discovery that they've been visited by the nicest home invader not named Santa Claus. When Snow White wakes up, she is very quickly able to gain the trust of the dwarves and has them following her every command in almost no time flat. She does this by being tactful, kind, and confident. So on the same day she was almost murdered, she had the strength of character to dust herself off, find a place a refuge, and make herself head of the household before bedtime. This girl has serious leadership skills and would be top management material today. Snow White is a natural leader who commands respect by giving it generously. She is not false or calculating, and yet, everyone she encounters becomes enamored with her and wants to follow her. No wonder the Queen wants her dead.
Which brings me to a point about the whole reason the Queen wants to kill Snow White. Now I know this is a bit of a stretch, but go with me here for just a minute. I'm well aware that the word 'fairest' is an old fashioned word used to describe a beautiful woman, but that isn't the only meaning. In fact, most of the other definitions describe just and righteous behavior and legitimate actions. These are all definitions that fit Snow White. The Queen uses the word in reference to physical beauty, but she is talking to her slave in the magic mirror when she says it. Since the spirit in the mirror is a slave, it is safe to assume that it does not have the Queen's best interests in mind. What the spirit does have is supernatural knowledge of the world, and a likely desire to no longer be enslaved to a lunatic. I believe that it makes sense then for the spirit to be giving the Queen an answer to a questions she did not intend to ask. The spirit sets up the Queen by describing the physical beauty of Snow White, knowing full well that this information will drive the Queen mad with jealousy. In her rage, it never occurs to her that being 'the fairest in the land' could mean so much more than physical appearance. It is the other definitions of the word 'fairest' that inspire the animals, the dwarves, and even the huntsman to aid her and follow her. Even the prince first saw her at her grossest and was charmed by her singing and manner before he ever got a good look at her face. It is this inner fairness that the Queen never sees or accounts for and it becomes her downfall.
Back to the plot, after a rousing party with the Dwarves, Snow White is asked to tell them a love story. This is where she sings, "Someday My Prince Will Come." If you are looking for an empowered song about equal love and partnership, this is not it. This is a fairytale song about falling in love and living happily ever after. My only defense is that is is exactly the kind of story the dwarves asked for, it's catchy as hell, and I think every single person secretly has their own dream of what happily ever after is and it's ok to admit that once and a while, no matter how silly we know it is.
The next morning, the Dwarves all leave and warn her to be careful. Notice that they all trust her enough to leave her home alone. She's already proved that she can take care of herself and doesn't need constant protection. They acknowledge the reality of her situation, but she isn't treated like a victim or fragile flower. When the old hag arrives at the cottage window, Snow White does try to be careful. In fact, she gives no indication that she will have anything to do with the old hag until she is attacked by birds. Up until this point, Snow White reacts about how you would expect when a strange person is suddenly all up in your personal space. She is apprehensive and very cautious. Remember, this is the same girl who has been making fast friends with everyone she has come across until this point. It is only when her bird friends attack the old hag that Snow White throws caution to the wind and takes pity on the old woman. Snow White is still apprehensive when the old hag is in the house and it almost feels like she bites the apple partly as a sort of attempt to appease the crazy old woman so she can politely send her on her way. This is the kind of behavior I think you can understand from a 15 year old, alone in an unfamiliar situation with a disconcerting but harmless looking individual. Kudos to the Queen at this point, because it is a truly unexpected disguise. The Queen did not, however, anticipate the ferocious response to her crime. She is chased to a dead end on a cliff, and we are spared a grisly fight scene when a thunderbolt strikes just right to cause the Queen to fall to her death (and be crushed be the boulder that falls down after her) Sure is a shame that thunderbolt. It was a gloriously sunny day only moments before. I wonder if there was any sort of all seeing spirit, with supernatural powers, who might have had a grudge against the Queen and would know exactly where she was at that moment.....this is why you don't enslave spirits in a mirror and force them to constantly tell you how pretty you are.
And now we come to the scene in which hilarious bloggers and internet comedy writers like to make jokes about necrophilia and lack of consent. The Dwarves, unable to bring themselves to bury Snow White, create a glass coffin and place her in a beautiful spot in the woods where they can watch over her and mourn her. You don't get this sort of devotion by just being pretty. People have to really like you as a person to go through all that trouble. And before you ask, I assume that they never changed their minds and buried her because she never started to rot and stink. If you have a body sitting outside for months and nothing changes, either something magical is a foot, or you can't tell the difference between a person and a mannequin. Finally, the prince comes along, after months or trying to figure out what happened to that girl he met once, he finds her in the woods, on a coffin, surrounded by men in mourning. He sees the girl who he's been thinking about constantly, who is presumed dead now, and gives her a short, respectful kiss and kneels with a bowed head to mourn her as well. I've been to funerals and I've seen people kiss loved ones goodbye. That is what the prince was doing, paying final respects, giving a brief peck on the lips to say goodbye. Yes they only met once for a brief time, but this is a guy who burst into song 30 seconds after seeing her. He clearly has a lot of feelings and I am impressed that he was as subtle as he was. No goodbye ballad or wailing, just a light kiss and a bowed head. And the fact that she woke up by definition proves that their connection was real. That's what true loves kiss means. If it's not true love, she's still lying there until the end of time.
The fairytale ending is not great, with Snow White and the prince riding off into the sunset together, but she's earned it, and I think we learn enough to know that she won't just sit around eating bon bons. This is a girl who gets things done and knows how to lead. Perhaps the problem with "and they lived happily ever after" is the lack of specificity to what that actually means. Happily ever after doesn't mean a life without rewarding work and adventure. I think when we're kids, happily ever after means endless summer vacation and all the candy you can eat and when we grow older, we never reexamine that phrase. Personally, I think everyone's happily ever after is something different. I also think that since the kiss broke the spell, that it means that the prince also is the kind of person who can lead by example with kindness and respect and that they probably went on to have a very fulfilling and rewarding life together, growing and learning to the end of their days....or they were both instantly crushed to death when the story book was closed at the end of the movie, and happily ever after was a very short, but accurate description of their final moments.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
In Defense of Disney Princesses - Introduction
For a while now, I've been trying to come up with a new project of things to write about. Something fun, but hopefully a little more thought provoking than my usual stuff. During this time, I've also noticed that a lot of the nerdy websites I visit have been having a lot of fun pointing out what awful lessons Disney movies teach kids. There are ton of articles, videos, parody songs, even battle raps dedicated to this topic. I have even taken a shot or two at these characters back when I was writing about every theatrical animated Disney feature. It was easy and fun and certainly seemed harmless enough at first.
But lately, I've been wondering if there is a different way to view Disney characters, and specifically, the Disney Princesses. Are they all just terrible role models created by a sexist group of men who wanted to teach women that true happiness only comes from finding a man and having pretty clothes? Are they just characters without agency who are acted upon by male characters? I know this is an oversimplification, but I've read enough articles and listicles to know that this is not an uncommon opinion. (side note, I think Listicles is a ridiculous word and it makes me a little sad that my spell check accepts it as a real word.)
I wanted to try (as best as I can from my place as a straight, white male) to watch these movies again and see if there isn't something more to these women, and if they offer us anything more than a vision of outdated and sexist tropes. I will also be trying to separate the marketing of these characters from the way they are presented on film. My belief is that there is more to these character than we allow, and when viewed as a whole, Disney has created a rather incredible group of female characters who represent a very wide range of lifestyles and experiences. I will be viewing the major princess movies (along with a select few non princess movies) in chronological order, and looking at the representation of women throughout. Here are the movies I will be viewing in order:
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - 1937
Cinderella - 1950
Alice in Wonderland - 1951
Sleeping Beauty - 1959
The Little Mermain - 1989
Beauty and the Beast - 1991
Aladdin - 1992
Pocahontas - 1995
Hunchback of Notre Dame - 1996
Mulan - 1998
Lilo & Stitch - 2002
The Incredibles - 2004
The Princess and the Frog - 2009
Tangled - 2010
Brave - 2012
Frozen - 2013
As I said earlier, I hope this will be mostly a fun thought exercise and I hope you enjoy it too.
But lately, I've been wondering if there is a different way to view Disney characters, and specifically, the Disney Princesses. Are they all just terrible role models created by a sexist group of men who wanted to teach women that true happiness only comes from finding a man and having pretty clothes? Are they just characters without agency who are acted upon by male characters? I know this is an oversimplification, but I've read enough articles and listicles to know that this is not an uncommon opinion. (side note, I think Listicles is a ridiculous word and it makes me a little sad that my spell check accepts it as a real word.)
I wanted to try (as best as I can from my place as a straight, white male) to watch these movies again and see if there isn't something more to these women, and if they offer us anything more than a vision of outdated and sexist tropes. I will also be trying to separate the marketing of these characters from the way they are presented on film. My belief is that there is more to these character than we allow, and when viewed as a whole, Disney has created a rather incredible group of female characters who represent a very wide range of lifestyles and experiences. I will be viewing the major princess movies (along with a select few non princess movies) in chronological order, and looking at the representation of women throughout. Here are the movies I will be viewing in order:
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - 1937
Cinderella - 1950
Alice in Wonderland - 1951
Sleeping Beauty - 1959
The Little Mermain - 1989
Beauty and the Beast - 1991
Aladdin - 1992
Pocahontas - 1995
Hunchback of Notre Dame - 1996
Mulan - 1998
Lilo & Stitch - 2002
The Incredibles - 2004
The Princess and the Frog - 2009
Tangled - 2010
Brave - 2012
Frozen - 2013
As I said earlier, I hope this will be mostly a fun thought exercise and I hope you enjoy it too.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
My 2014 Mixtape
It's that time of the year, where I go through all of the music from 2014 and narrow it down to my top 20 songs of the year. First, some notes:
1. Only one song per artist
2. song had to be released in 2014, no late 2013 entries.
3. I had to discover the song in 2014.
4. 2014, for me, was an off year for music. I don't remember the last time I had to try so hard to find 20 songs worth putting on this list. Maybe I didn't look hard enough, but I found myself very underwhelmed with the quality of music last year.
With that said, let's get to the music:
Album of the Year: Aloe Blacc - Lift your Spirit. This was pretty much the only album that I was inspired to listen to on a repeat basis this year, but it's still a damn good R&B album.
Honorable mention -
Cover song of the year: "They're Coming to Take Me Away" by Butcher Babies. A heavy metal cover of one of the creepiest novelty songs of all time? Yes please!
AND NOW, IN PLAYLIST ORDER, THE 2014 MIXTAPE:
1 - Title - Meghan Trainor : Her debut album is quickly becoming one of my favorite albums of 2015, but this track of her 2014 EP is catchy as hell and is ideal for dancing around the house.
2 - Uptown Funk - Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars : Ummm, this is the best Prince song in years, too bad he didn't record it. In any case, this is an absolute gem of a song, one that is sadly destined to be played to death before the end of February. Might as well enjoy it while I can though.
3 - Bang Bang - Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj : Jessie J is my favorite pop singer right now, and she can sing her face off. Nicki Minaj is a master at the guest rap verse, and I don't understand all the hate towards Ariana Grande, she seems perfectly adequate to me. This is like a "Lady Marmalade" for 2014.
4 - Classic - MKTO : You may be noticing a throwback theme here. That's because I was raised on music from the 60s and 70s, when they played instruments. So I'm a sucker for a hook played on piano or horns, or even ukelele. If you can't enjoy the simple pleasures of this song, then you and I just don't understand each other.
5 - Stay Gold - First Aid Kit : Shifting gears a bit, I had to throw in a track from my second favorite album of the year. This Swedish duo does Americana folk rock better than anyone. A gorgeous song from a gorgeous album.
6 - No Rest for the Wicked - Lykke Li : I really like the empty space in this song, it's a nice palette cleanser, especially after listening to a lot of Top 40 style music. Also, I have no idea how to pronounce her name.
7 - When We're Fire - Lo-Fang : This was the last song to make the list, and that's mostly because I didn't like it for most of the year. This was one of those weird songs for me where I hated it, hated it, hated it, and then all of a sudden something clicked and I realised I loved it. I also need to give a shout out to my wife for introducing this song to me.
8 - Riptide - Vance Joy : It's a pretty standard indie pop song, but it's just so damn catchy, I can't stop tapping my feet.
9 - Can You do This - Aloe Blacc : I've just decided that Aloe Blacc is Bruno Mars for Grownups. This is the most fun song on a stellar album, but I had a really hard time picking which Aloe Blacc song would make this list. I went with this one because I reminds me of "Do You Love Me" by The Contours.
10 - Love Runs Out - OneRepublic : Remember when I said that this was a bad year for music? Yeah, you know it's a down year when not only do I enjoy a OneRepublic song, but nobody has the decency to write enough good songs to keep it off my end of year list....I'm so ashamed, but I'm still dancing to it.
11 - The Miracle (of Joey Ramone) - U2 : I wasn't too upset when I got a free U2 album. I didn't get what all the fuss was about. I mean, I would never intentionally spend money on a U2 song in the first place, so I appreciated the way they admitted to us all that what they do is essentially worthless. But for the second time this year, I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy a song by one of my least favorite bands of all time. To put this in perspective, I normally consider U2 and OneRepublic to be of the same quality as Creed or Nickelback. I don't know how they both overachieved so wildly this year, but I guess even a crappy band can write a good song from time to time.
12 - Birth in Reverse - St. Vincent : I need to spend more time with this album, but St. Vincent has always been one of those sleeper artists for me. I never look out for her music, but I always enjoy it when I hear it.
13 - Water Fountain - tUnE yArDs : This is the happiest song about living in poverty ever! Seriously, try to find me another song about living without potable water that makes you want to dance around in your socks.
14 - KONGOS - Come With Me Now : This album was released in the US for the first time in 2014, so it qualifies for the list. It also has the distinction of being one of the few hard rock songs that features an accordion, and was the theme song for a WWE pay-per view event months before all the hipster radio stations picked it up and decided it was cool. That's right, wrestling fans discovered something cool before the hipsters did. Stick that in your ironic pipe and smoke it!
15 - Back to the Shack - Weezer : Frankly, I've enjoyed almost every Weezer album, but I do appreciate any song where a band apologizes to its fans for being to gimmicky. It also helps when that song is a great rock song by itself.
16 - Follow Me Down - The Pretty Reckless : At a time when most of the male hard rock bands are pretty toothless and boring, it's nice to see the ladies rock with a little emotion and attitude. Try to keep up fellas.
17 - Break the Fall - Laura Welsh : I'm not even sure how I ended up with this song, but I sure do like it. It's like a better version of Boom Clap by Charli XCX.
18 - Rather Be - Clean Bandit : Somehow, they made early 90s dance music sound fresh again. I don't know how they did it, but it is delightful.
19 - Am I Wrong - Nico and Vinz : As I was finalizing this list, I opted to give the last two spots to songs that I had a personal connection two. I turned 30 this year, and it just so happened that I was at the Mall of America on my birthday and Nico and Vinz were putting on a free concert. They also get bonus points for being from Norway (one of them anyway). It was a great free show on what was a great birthday.
20 - Back Home - Andy Grammer : I get to meet a lot of cool people at my job, and I had a lot of great memories from last year. But it's always fun when a client introduces me to a new song and I get to see them shout out all the words while they celebrate with their closest friends and family. It's seeing people create those kinds of memories that helps get me through the days when my job is more stressful. Also, it's a great end song if you put this list on repeat, because it blends back into the first song on the list very well.
So that's my top 20 for this year. They're all good songs, but I wish I had more truly great songs to put on this list. If you discovered something awesome in 2014, let me know in the comments.
1. Only one song per artist
2. song had to be released in 2014, no late 2013 entries.
3. I had to discover the song in 2014.
4. 2014, for me, was an off year for music. I don't remember the last time I had to try so hard to find 20 songs worth putting on this list. Maybe I didn't look hard enough, but I found myself very underwhelmed with the quality of music last year.
With that said, let's get to the music:
Album of the Year: Aloe Blacc - Lift your Spirit. This was pretty much the only album that I was inspired to listen to on a repeat basis this year, but it's still a damn good R&B album.
Honorable mention -
Cover song of the year: "They're Coming to Take Me Away" by Butcher Babies. A heavy metal cover of one of the creepiest novelty songs of all time? Yes please!
AND NOW, IN PLAYLIST ORDER, THE 2014 MIXTAPE:
1 - Title - Meghan Trainor : Her debut album is quickly becoming one of my favorite albums of 2015, but this track of her 2014 EP is catchy as hell and is ideal for dancing around the house.
2 - Uptown Funk - Mark Ronson feat. Bruno Mars : Ummm, this is the best Prince song in years, too bad he didn't record it. In any case, this is an absolute gem of a song, one that is sadly destined to be played to death before the end of February. Might as well enjoy it while I can though.
3 - Bang Bang - Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj : Jessie J is my favorite pop singer right now, and she can sing her face off. Nicki Minaj is a master at the guest rap verse, and I don't understand all the hate towards Ariana Grande, she seems perfectly adequate to me. This is like a "Lady Marmalade" for 2014.
4 - Classic - MKTO : You may be noticing a throwback theme here. That's because I was raised on music from the 60s and 70s, when they played instruments. So I'm a sucker for a hook played on piano or horns, or even ukelele. If you can't enjoy the simple pleasures of this song, then you and I just don't understand each other.
5 - Stay Gold - First Aid Kit : Shifting gears a bit, I had to throw in a track from my second favorite album of the year. This Swedish duo does Americana folk rock better than anyone. A gorgeous song from a gorgeous album.
6 - No Rest for the Wicked - Lykke Li : I really like the empty space in this song, it's a nice palette cleanser, especially after listening to a lot of Top 40 style music. Also, I have no idea how to pronounce her name.
7 - When We're Fire - Lo-Fang : This was the last song to make the list, and that's mostly because I didn't like it for most of the year. This was one of those weird songs for me where I hated it, hated it, hated it, and then all of a sudden something clicked and I realised I loved it. I also need to give a shout out to my wife for introducing this song to me.
8 - Riptide - Vance Joy : It's a pretty standard indie pop song, but it's just so damn catchy, I can't stop tapping my feet.
9 - Can You do This - Aloe Blacc : I've just decided that Aloe Blacc is Bruno Mars for Grownups. This is the most fun song on a stellar album, but I had a really hard time picking which Aloe Blacc song would make this list. I went with this one because I reminds me of "Do You Love Me" by The Contours.
10 - Love Runs Out - OneRepublic : Remember when I said that this was a bad year for music? Yeah, you know it's a down year when not only do I enjoy a OneRepublic song, but nobody has the decency to write enough good songs to keep it off my end of year list....I'm so ashamed, but I'm still dancing to it.
11 - The Miracle (of Joey Ramone) - U2 : I wasn't too upset when I got a free U2 album. I didn't get what all the fuss was about. I mean, I would never intentionally spend money on a U2 song in the first place, so I appreciated the way they admitted to us all that what they do is essentially worthless. But for the second time this year, I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy a song by one of my least favorite bands of all time. To put this in perspective, I normally consider U2 and OneRepublic to be of the same quality as Creed or Nickelback. I don't know how they both overachieved so wildly this year, but I guess even a crappy band can write a good song from time to time.
12 - Birth in Reverse - St. Vincent : I need to spend more time with this album, but St. Vincent has always been one of those sleeper artists for me. I never look out for her music, but I always enjoy it when I hear it.
13 - Water Fountain - tUnE yArDs : This is the happiest song about living in poverty ever! Seriously, try to find me another song about living without potable water that makes you want to dance around in your socks.
14 - KONGOS - Come With Me Now : This album was released in the US for the first time in 2014, so it qualifies for the list. It also has the distinction of being one of the few hard rock songs that features an accordion, and was the theme song for a WWE pay-per view event months before all the hipster radio stations picked it up and decided it was cool. That's right, wrestling fans discovered something cool before the hipsters did. Stick that in your ironic pipe and smoke it!
15 - Back to the Shack - Weezer : Frankly, I've enjoyed almost every Weezer album, but I do appreciate any song where a band apologizes to its fans for being to gimmicky. It also helps when that song is a great rock song by itself.
16 - Follow Me Down - The Pretty Reckless : At a time when most of the male hard rock bands are pretty toothless and boring, it's nice to see the ladies rock with a little emotion and attitude. Try to keep up fellas.
17 - Break the Fall - Laura Welsh : I'm not even sure how I ended up with this song, but I sure do like it. It's like a better version of Boom Clap by Charli XCX.
18 - Rather Be - Clean Bandit : Somehow, they made early 90s dance music sound fresh again. I don't know how they did it, but it is delightful.
19 - Am I Wrong - Nico and Vinz : As I was finalizing this list, I opted to give the last two spots to songs that I had a personal connection two. I turned 30 this year, and it just so happened that I was at the Mall of America on my birthday and Nico and Vinz were putting on a free concert. They also get bonus points for being from Norway (one of them anyway). It was a great free show on what was a great birthday.
20 - Back Home - Andy Grammer : I get to meet a lot of cool people at my job, and I had a lot of great memories from last year. But it's always fun when a client introduces me to a new song and I get to see them shout out all the words while they celebrate with their closest friends and family. It's seeing people create those kinds of memories that helps get me through the days when my job is more stressful. Also, it's a great end song if you put this list on repeat, because it blends back into the first song on the list very well.
So that's my top 20 for this year. They're all good songs, but I wish I had more truly great songs to put on this list. If you discovered something awesome in 2014, let me know in the comments.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
COTNFQ: Night of the Living Dead, Black Sunday, The House at the End of the Street, Dredd, Carrie
Yay free weekend! Big lineup today, so let's get started:
Night of the Living Dead: Wow, this movie made me feel really bad for the state of minority characters in movies over the last, well the entire history of cinema. The main character turns out to be a black guy who behaves as you'd expect any practical thinking man in a desperate situation to act. At no point is his "blackness" a conversation point or a "character trait." He's just a man who happens to have a dark skin tone. What made me so sad about this movie was just how normal he was and the fact that I noticed it. He isn't the first one to die, he doesn't make jokes about not being the first one to die, he isn't forced to speak in awkward slang, and there are no awkward attempts at race relations in the midst of the zombie apocalypse. He's just a dude trying to help board up a house and develop a survival strategy. Even the token asshole character isn't racist, he's an asshole to everybody, including his own wife. I guess what I'm saying is that this movie should be included in any film class that studies representations of race in cinema. As for the other parts of the film, the gore effects are pretty impressive for the time period, and the movie is very well paced. I must admit, I got a kick out of the scenes with the news reporters. It was very amusing for me to see a news station where they were simply trying to report the facts to viewers and convey information to them. It's just straightforward,"there's some weird stuff going on, stay safe and await further instructions....Ok, the stuff is really bad, please head to a safe zone as quickly as possible.....here's how to kill any zombies you come across and how to dispose of the bodies." No commentary, no twitter crawl, no pundits yelling for attention.... As far as the news goes, I'm pretty sure the people of the 1960's would do much better in a zombie apocalypse than we would. The more I think about this movie, the better I like it.
B : It would rate a little higher, but Barbara and her brother bug the crap outta me.
Black Sunday: Italian Director Mario Brava's movie about vampire witches. Some cool gore effects in an otherwise very forgettable movie
C-
The House at the End of the Street: Ever see a movie that is so bad that you just turn it off and read the synopsis off of IMDB and then you realize that the time it took you to read a synopsis that dumb was still too much of a life suck. And then you bother to blog about said cinematic turd and you think, "WHAT THE HELL I'M I DOING WITH MY LIFE!?"
F-
Dredd: So I'm starting to learn that the 5 star rating system on Netflix has been calibrated to my tastes and that after gathering data on my viewing habits for about 6 years now, it has developed a pretty great batting average when it comes to recommending films. Dredd is the latest example. This is a fantastic action movie. If you are in the mood for a gorey, goofy, but not too goofy shoot-em-up, check this out. The best part? Olivia Thirlby plays the female rookie who can take care of herself. There is not damsel in distress motif here, just lots and lots of 'splosions.
A
Carrie (2013) This remake is far, FAR superior to the original. There. I said it. If you disagree, watch them in the order they were released. The original Carrie doesn't hold up at all. Sissy Spacek is the bright spot in what is an otherwise unwatchable movie. While not as otherworldly looking, Cloe Grace Moretz does an awesome job in the title role and her surrounding cast, if not oscar-worthy, is at least competent. Julianne Moore is a more terrifying Margaret White, and she delivers several cringe-worthy moments. The special effects are obviously much improved over the original with the level of destruction edging closer to the book. If you wrote this off as a cheap, money grab remake, you should really give it a shot. And if you don't like it, I dare you to rewatch the original and tell me with a straight face that it is a better film
B+
Night of the Living Dead: Wow, this movie made me feel really bad for the state of minority characters in movies over the last, well the entire history of cinema. The main character turns out to be a black guy who behaves as you'd expect any practical thinking man in a desperate situation to act. At no point is his "blackness" a conversation point or a "character trait." He's just a man who happens to have a dark skin tone. What made me so sad about this movie was just how normal he was and the fact that I noticed it. He isn't the first one to die, he doesn't make jokes about not being the first one to die, he isn't forced to speak in awkward slang, and there are no awkward attempts at race relations in the midst of the zombie apocalypse. He's just a dude trying to help board up a house and develop a survival strategy. Even the token asshole character isn't racist, he's an asshole to everybody, including his own wife. I guess what I'm saying is that this movie should be included in any film class that studies representations of race in cinema. As for the other parts of the film, the gore effects are pretty impressive for the time period, and the movie is very well paced. I must admit, I got a kick out of the scenes with the news reporters. It was very amusing for me to see a news station where they were simply trying to report the facts to viewers and convey information to them. It's just straightforward,"there's some weird stuff going on, stay safe and await further instructions....Ok, the stuff is really bad, please head to a safe zone as quickly as possible.....here's how to kill any zombies you come across and how to dispose of the bodies." No commentary, no twitter crawl, no pundits yelling for attention.... As far as the news goes, I'm pretty sure the people of the 1960's would do much better in a zombie apocalypse than we would. The more I think about this movie, the better I like it.
B : It would rate a little higher, but Barbara and her brother bug the crap outta me.
Black Sunday: Italian Director Mario Brava's movie about vampire witches. Some cool gore effects in an otherwise very forgettable movie
C-
The House at the End of the Street: Ever see a movie that is so bad that you just turn it off and read the synopsis off of IMDB and then you realize that the time it took you to read a synopsis that dumb was still too much of a life suck. And then you bother to blog about said cinematic turd and you think, "WHAT THE HELL I'M I DOING WITH MY LIFE!?"
F-
Dredd: So I'm starting to learn that the 5 star rating system on Netflix has been calibrated to my tastes and that after gathering data on my viewing habits for about 6 years now, it has developed a pretty great batting average when it comes to recommending films. Dredd is the latest example. This is a fantastic action movie. If you are in the mood for a gorey, goofy, but not too goofy shoot-em-up, check this out. The best part? Olivia Thirlby plays the female rookie who can take care of herself. There is not damsel in distress motif here, just lots and lots of 'splosions.
A
Carrie (2013) This remake is far, FAR superior to the original. There. I said it. If you disagree, watch them in the order they were released. The original Carrie doesn't hold up at all. Sissy Spacek is the bright spot in what is an otherwise unwatchable movie. While not as otherworldly looking, Cloe Grace Moretz does an awesome job in the title role and her surrounding cast, if not oscar-worthy, is at least competent. Julianne Moore is a more terrifying Margaret White, and she delivers several cringe-worthy moments. The special effects are obviously much improved over the original with the level of destruction edging closer to the book. If you wrote this off as a cheap, money grab remake, you should really give it a shot. And if you don't like it, I dare you to rewatch the original and tell me with a straight face that it is a better film
B+
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
COTNFQ: Rubber, Hellraiser II: Hellbound
Rubber is a movie about a sentient tire with telekinetic powers that goes on a killing spree. It's also a commentary about the stupidity of a movie about a tire with telekinetic powers, and it's directed by a French guy and Fat Neil from Community is in it. I haven't decided if it's the dumbest thing I've ever seen or if it is the pinnacle of human existence....or maybe it's just a weird-ass movie....
B
Hellraiser II: Hellbound - It wasn't the worst movie about evil demons summoned by a puzzle box. Why the acting was almost adequate a time or two and the writing was merely boring and forced instead of wince-inducing.
D+
B
Hellraiser II: Hellbound - It wasn't the worst movie about evil demons summoned by a puzzle box. Why the acting was almost adequate a time or two and the writing was merely boring and forced instead of wince-inducing.
D+
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Clean out the Netflix Queue: Leprechaun, Friday the 13th part 7: New Blood
Yes, I put a lot of horror movies on my netflix queue and they've been sitting there for a while now.
Leprechaun: I like to think of this movie more as the origin story of Rachel Greene than anything else. Jennifer Aniston is essentially playing an early version of the roll that would make her an A-list celebrity. The rest of the movie is complete and utter crap. They seem to be trying for a horror-comedy but all of the jokes fall flat and the acting is terrible. I don't understand how these movies get to so many sequels....
D-
Friday the 13, Part 7: New Blood - what a crappy film
worked more on this Haiku than
they did on the script
F
Leprechaun: I like to think of this movie more as the origin story of Rachel Greene than anything else. Jennifer Aniston is essentially playing an early version of the roll that would make her an A-list celebrity. The rest of the movie is complete and utter crap. They seem to be trying for a horror-comedy but all of the jokes fall flat and the acting is terrible. I don't understand how these movies get to so many sequels....
D-
Friday the 13, Part 7: New Blood - what a crappy film
worked more on this Haiku than
they did on the script
F
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Clean out the Netflix Queue: Hellraiser & Haunter
Part of what happens when you commit to watching everything on your netflix queue is that you immediately regret all the stupid crap you put on there. Case in Point: Hellraiser is a terrible, terrible movie. From what I've seen so far, this series is solely based on the fact the Pinhead is a really cool character design. Unfortunately, the guy has about 3 lines of dialogue in the whole movie. the other 89 minutes is filled with awful acting and people acting in ways that no human has acted ever. This is a movie where you can't wait for everyone to die just so the movie will be over.
F-
On the other hand, sometimes you find that you've put a truly hidden Gem on your list. Haunter is a fantastic ghost story from director Vincenzo Natali and starring Abigail Breslin. This movie has moved onto my top 10 horror movie list. I put it on with the idea that I would just have it on in the background, but I got sucked in very quick and soon I was jumping at every noise I heard. I'd love to tell you all about it, but I won't. Just search for it in Netflix and hit play.
A+
F-
On the other hand, sometimes you find that you've put a truly hidden Gem on your list. Haunter is a fantastic ghost story from director Vincenzo Natali and starring Abigail Breslin. This movie has moved onto my top 10 horror movie list. I put it on with the idea that I would just have it on in the background, but I got sucked in very quick and soon I was jumping at every noise I heard. I'd love to tell you all about it, but I won't. Just search for it in Netflix and hit play.
A+
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Clean out the netflix queue - a new project
I like projects with start and end goal, but after the last project, I've chosen one without a timeline. The goal? watch everything currently sitting in my netflix queue. Here are the rules:
1. Anytime I watch Netflix alone, I can ONLY choose a title from my list. I can watch other things, but I have to get it somewhere else.
2. My wife can watch whatever she wants, and I can join her, we just have to use her profile
3. For TV series, I only have to finish 6 episodes. I'm not going to watch all 260+ episodes of magnum PI
4. I cannot add any new titles until my list is empty.
The idea behind this stems from the 100 book project. I ended with a longer reading list than I started with. Since books or video games are a more substantial time investment, I thought I would pick something manageable, but not too restrictive. I want it to be fun after all.
With that out of the way, here is the first entry:
Nightmare on Elm St 2: Freddy's Revenge & Never Sleep Again:
These two fit hand in hand since Never Sleep Again turned out to be a 4 hour documentary chronicling the whole Nightmare on Elm st. series through Freddy vs. Jason. Nightmare 2 was terrible, but kind of charming in the way terrible movies are when you can tell that everyone involved was trying to make something good. It's also a not very subtle allegory for a young gay teen coming to terms with his sexuality. The documentary referred to it as the TOP GUN of 80s horror and pointed out that it was voted at the most unintentionally gay horror movie of all time. I didn't think it was that obvious until they showed all of the offending scenes in a montage. The documentary turned out to be very well done and is a good companion piece to anyone who was a fan of some of the movies. There are lots of great interviews with the actors and they spend plenty of time on each movie. It is put together with a lot of love, but it also acknowledges the series' shortcomings.
Never Sleep Again: A+
Nightmare 2: C-
1. Anytime I watch Netflix alone, I can ONLY choose a title from my list. I can watch other things, but I have to get it somewhere else.
2. My wife can watch whatever she wants, and I can join her, we just have to use her profile
3. For TV series, I only have to finish 6 episodes. I'm not going to watch all 260+ episodes of magnum PI
4. I cannot add any new titles until my list is empty.
The idea behind this stems from the 100 book project. I ended with a longer reading list than I started with. Since books or video games are a more substantial time investment, I thought I would pick something manageable, but not too restrictive. I want it to be fun after all.
With that out of the way, here is the first entry:
Nightmare on Elm St 2: Freddy's Revenge & Never Sleep Again:
These two fit hand in hand since Never Sleep Again turned out to be a 4 hour documentary chronicling the whole Nightmare on Elm st. series through Freddy vs. Jason. Nightmare 2 was terrible, but kind of charming in the way terrible movies are when you can tell that everyone involved was trying to make something good. It's also a not very subtle allegory for a young gay teen coming to terms with his sexuality. The documentary referred to it as the TOP GUN of 80s horror and pointed out that it was voted at the most unintentionally gay horror movie of all time. I didn't think it was that obvious until they showed all of the offending scenes in a montage. The documentary turned out to be very well done and is a good companion piece to anyone who was a fan of some of the movies. There are lots of great interviews with the actors and they spend plenty of time on each movie. It is put together with a lot of love, but it also acknowledges the series' shortcomings.
Never Sleep Again: A+
Nightmare 2: C-
Friday, October 10, 2014
100 by 30 - Wrap up
So I've taken a few weeks off since completing my 100 book project. It's the busiest time of year for my day job and I've needed to take a little break. But I'm back with a couple of planned posts about the project and what's next. So here's a few things I learned during this project:
100 books is lot: well duh. But I was surprised at how many books that actually is when you try to read them with a time limit
But 100 books isn't THAT many: As any avid reader can tell you, you will never really be able to shrink your reading list. After reading 100 books, I took a look at the books I want to read and I think it's gotten bigger.
I'm not a speed reader: I've always thought I was a pretty quick reader, but I quickly found out that I'm not that fast. With the time commitment needed to stay on schedule, combined with my other responsibilities/interests, I grew to resent this project from time to time....
But you can get faster with practice: One of the biggest surprises to me was that reading is like a muscle, and if you exercise it, you will get better.
My book tastes are very nerdy: When you condense reading into a time limit, you need to pick books that will hold your interest so you can keep the momentum and enjoy yourself. I assumed that I would be picking all different kinds of books, but I quickly got into a rhythm of sticking to stories in the sci-fi/fantasy genre. I think it all comes down to the fact that their is enough stress and drama in the real world that if I'm gonna sit down to read, I want to be transported to somewhere else.
Teen/young adult books are awesome: While I read a few stinkers, I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised at the quality books available to kids and teens. While I love a good long book for adults, Teen/YA fiction seems to have a better sense of story structure. Plots and Character development always seem to be moving forward at a nice pace and there is less filler. They also tend to keep the gorier/more extreme elements just off the page, which makes them feel more effective to me. If you hint at something horrific and let me fill in the blanks rather than going into extreme detail, I promise you what I'm imagining is worse (unless you're George RR Martin)
Graphic Novels deserve more credit: Holy cow you guys, there are some fantastic stories being told in the graphic novel format right now. I was continually surprised at the level of depth and nuance you can find in this format.
I didn't get to read things I've been looking forward to: My post-project reading list is filled with 600-900 pages epic novels and non-fiction history books that I've had to avoid due to time constraints. These are the kinds of books that require a time commitment that didn't really work with staying on a reading schedule.
Lastly, I was reminded that I really love reading: While I'm very excited to be done, I'm also really excited for all the new books I have to look forward to. I've started the Wheel of Time saga, and I've got several other books started as well... and the best part is that I will finish them whenever the heck I feel like it. I've also started listening to audiobooks again to help speed things along. The audio format had been a great help in moving forward in the first wheel of time book as it has proven to be a very slow burn. With the audiobook, I can get chores done or take the dog for a walk while the book moves forward anyway and I can use my reading time for books that move a little faster.
100 books is lot: well duh. But I was surprised at how many books that actually is when you try to read them with a time limit
But 100 books isn't THAT many: As any avid reader can tell you, you will never really be able to shrink your reading list. After reading 100 books, I took a look at the books I want to read and I think it's gotten bigger.
I'm not a speed reader: I've always thought I was a pretty quick reader, but I quickly found out that I'm not that fast. With the time commitment needed to stay on schedule, combined with my other responsibilities/interests, I grew to resent this project from time to time....
But you can get faster with practice: One of the biggest surprises to me was that reading is like a muscle, and if you exercise it, you will get better.
My book tastes are very nerdy: When you condense reading into a time limit, you need to pick books that will hold your interest so you can keep the momentum and enjoy yourself. I assumed that I would be picking all different kinds of books, but I quickly got into a rhythm of sticking to stories in the sci-fi/fantasy genre. I think it all comes down to the fact that their is enough stress and drama in the real world that if I'm gonna sit down to read, I want to be transported to somewhere else.
Teen/young adult books are awesome: While I read a few stinkers, I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised at the quality books available to kids and teens. While I love a good long book for adults, Teen/YA fiction seems to have a better sense of story structure. Plots and Character development always seem to be moving forward at a nice pace and there is less filler. They also tend to keep the gorier/more extreme elements just off the page, which makes them feel more effective to me. If you hint at something horrific and let me fill in the blanks rather than going into extreme detail, I promise you what I'm imagining is worse (unless you're George RR Martin)
Graphic Novels deserve more credit: Holy cow you guys, there are some fantastic stories being told in the graphic novel format right now. I was continually surprised at the level of depth and nuance you can find in this format.
I didn't get to read things I've been looking forward to: My post-project reading list is filled with 600-900 pages epic novels and non-fiction history books that I've had to avoid due to time constraints. These are the kinds of books that require a time commitment that didn't really work with staying on a reading schedule.
Lastly, I was reminded that I really love reading: While I'm very excited to be done, I'm also really excited for all the new books I have to look forward to. I've started the Wheel of Time saga, and I've got several other books started as well... and the best part is that I will finish them whenever the heck I feel like it. I've also started listening to audiobooks again to help speed things along. The audio format had been a great help in moving forward in the first wheel of time book as it has proven to be a very slow burn. With the audiobook, I can get chores done or take the dog for a walk while the book moves forward anyway and I can use my reading time for books that move a little faster.
Thursday, September 18, 2014
100 by 30 Book 96 - The Phantom of the Opera
Yay! Let's end the project by writing about a tragically misunderstood genius and the woman he loves.....oh wait, that's not what this book is about at all. My thoughts could best be described in a short scene performed by Harry and Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber:
Harry: Wow. I thought Phantom of the Opera would be a little more romantic than this.
Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That Andrew Lloyd Webber's full a shit man.
AND, Scene.
So yeah, for those of you only familiar with the musical version of the tale, basically they cut out the whole part where the Phantom is a raving psychopath who loves to torture people to death for fun....lots of people. He's basically a singing version of Jigsaw from the Saw movies. I must admit I was a little thrown at first by the writing style. Like The Time Machine and Jekyl and Hyde, the book is written as a reporting of events after the fact by a person not caught in the middle of the events. Once I adjusted to the style, it became much easier to read and I found the book to be quite entertaining. The torture room was quite inventive and I enjoyed the way it was slowly revealed that way the events transpired, it became easy to believe that the phantom had never existed and that the strange events surrounding Christine Daae could be explained by placing blame on her lover Raul rather than a deformed madman in the bowels of the Paris Opera house. It's a nice switcheroo, and I would definitely recommend this for anyone looking for a less sappy version of the story. It takes a little bit to get going, but stick with it. It gets much better.
9/10
Harry: Wow. I thought Phantom of the Opera would be a little more romantic than this.
Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That Andrew Lloyd Webber's full a shit man.
AND, Scene.
So yeah, for those of you only familiar with the musical version of the tale, basically they cut out the whole part where the Phantom is a raving psychopath who loves to torture people to death for fun....lots of people. He's basically a singing version of Jigsaw from the Saw movies. I must admit I was a little thrown at first by the writing style. Like The Time Machine and Jekyl and Hyde, the book is written as a reporting of events after the fact by a person not caught in the middle of the events. Once I adjusted to the style, it became much easier to read and I found the book to be quite entertaining. The torture room was quite inventive and I enjoyed the way it was slowly revealed that way the events transpired, it became easy to believe that the phantom had never existed and that the strange events surrounding Christine Daae could be explained by placing blame on her lover Raul rather than a deformed madman in the bowels of the Paris Opera house. It's a nice switcheroo, and I would definitely recommend this for anyone looking for a less sappy version of the story. It takes a little bit to get going, but stick with it. It gets much better.
9/10
100 by 30 Book 95 - Epileptic by David B
So I have one more blog to write after this. I saved another one so I didn't have to end on a downer (it also helps that I'm watching Dumb and Dumber as I write)
Epileptic is an autobiographical graphic novel told from the perspective of a middle child who has an older brother and a younger sister and then the older brother develops epilepsy. The story chronicles the trials of the family has they see a parade of doctors and healers in a search for a cure. For those of you familiar with my family, you will probably be aware that this story hits a little too close to home for me. While there are some wild differences, (the story takes place in France from the 1960s through the 1990s and the parents are obsessed with finding cures with crazy hippy healers to name a few things) There are some personal moments that will really hit home for anyone who has had a family member deal with this disease. In the book, the disease is often pictured as a monster that is slowly consuming the whole family, and the various family members struggle to deal with something that is just so unpredictable. The author, writing from his perspective as a child, uses the graphic novel medium to try to figure out where his brother goes when he has a seizure. He also imagines encasing himself in armor to protect himself from the outside world. He pulls aways from the world and buries himself in his art as a way to escape reality and process his feelings. This book feels very much like an attempt by the author to find a way to come clean to his family and to try to process the way his family's life was forever changed. It is intensely personal and I got the feeling that I was being shown things that most people would have a hard time speaking to a therapist about, let alone putting in a book for millions of people to read.
Fortunately for my family, we've had many more bright spots, and my brother got to be my best man at my wedding and continues to be one of the coolest people I know. He has become a source of inspiration for me and I cherish every moment we get to spend together. For any family members reading my blog, you should know, this book was very, very hard for me to get through, so I'm hesitant to recommend it. I did get some comfort in knowing that I wasn't the only person who had to deal with the complex emotions that come when you try to love and care for a family member dealing with a terrifying condition, but be warned that this book does not have a neat and tidy ending. The book ends in the mid-1990s when epilepsy research was just beginning to improve and effective treatments for severe cases were hard to find.
So that's that book. I'm glad I read it, but it wasn't what I would call a pleasant experience.
9.5/10
Epileptic is an autobiographical graphic novel told from the perspective of a middle child who has an older brother and a younger sister and then the older brother develops epilepsy. The story chronicles the trials of the family has they see a parade of doctors and healers in a search for a cure. For those of you familiar with my family, you will probably be aware that this story hits a little too close to home for me. While there are some wild differences, (the story takes place in France from the 1960s through the 1990s and the parents are obsessed with finding cures with crazy hippy healers to name a few things) There are some personal moments that will really hit home for anyone who has had a family member deal with this disease. In the book, the disease is often pictured as a monster that is slowly consuming the whole family, and the various family members struggle to deal with something that is just so unpredictable. The author, writing from his perspective as a child, uses the graphic novel medium to try to figure out where his brother goes when he has a seizure. He also imagines encasing himself in armor to protect himself from the outside world. He pulls aways from the world and buries himself in his art as a way to escape reality and process his feelings. This book feels very much like an attempt by the author to find a way to come clean to his family and to try to process the way his family's life was forever changed. It is intensely personal and I got the feeling that I was being shown things that most people would have a hard time speaking to a therapist about, let alone putting in a book for millions of people to read.
Fortunately for my family, we've had many more bright spots, and my brother got to be my best man at my wedding and continues to be one of the coolest people I know. He has become a source of inspiration for me and I cherish every moment we get to spend together. For any family members reading my blog, you should know, this book was very, very hard for me to get through, so I'm hesitant to recommend it. I did get some comfort in knowing that I wasn't the only person who had to deal with the complex emotions that come when you try to love and care for a family member dealing with a terrifying condition, but be warned that this book does not have a neat and tidy ending. The book ends in the mid-1990s when epilepsy research was just beginning to improve and effective treatments for severe cases were hard to find.
So that's that book. I'm glad I read it, but it wasn't what I would call a pleasant experience.
9.5/10
100 by 30 Book 99 - The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde
Well this wasn't like the musical at all. It's actually a nice mystery tale, which kinda gets ruined when you already know the ending. In any case, Robert Lewis Stevenson is a pretty good writer so this is still worth your time. Since the book is quite short, this post will be too.
7/10
7/10
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
100 by 30 book 97 - How to Train Your Dragon
First of all, I LOVE the How to Train Your Dragon movies. I cried like a baby multiple times during the second movie. With such a rich world, and great characters, my expectations were sky high for the book series. This book....was not what I expected. Apart from character and location names, the books and movies have almost nothing in common. Most upsetting, Toothless, the main dragon in the movie, is a whiny little runt in the book. I guess this book is ok, but if you are looking for some depth and emotion, you need to look elsewhere.
4/10
4/10
100 by 30 Book 98 - Alice in Wonderland
I've never really liked this story in any of the versions I've seen it, but I thought I'd give the original source material a shot.....nope, I still hate this story. I like a good amount of nonsense and word play as much as the next guy, but this story is about as much fun as listening to an annoying coworker tell you about a really weird dream they had. If you must read a book about Wonderland, I think you'd be much better off reading the smutty parody version instead.
1/10
1/10
100 by 30 Book 94 - Shadow on the Mountain by Margi Preus
Shadow of the Mountain is a Young Adult novel that tracks a young teen in Norway during the Nazi Occupation. He and his friends get involved in the resistance movement and young Espen gains crucial intelligence about a Nazi command facility that causes him to take flight over the mountains in an attempt to reach the safety of Sweden. It's a thrilling tale of an often overlooked part of World War II. The story is based on real people and sticks very close to actual events. Much like NUMBER THE STARS, there is an epilogue at the end of the book that goes more in depth with the people who inspired the story and even includes a number of photographs from the period. For anyone looking for an entry into the underground spy networks of WWII, this is a great introduction.
9.5/10
9.5/10
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