One week ago, this nation experienced its 31st school shooting since Columbine. This time, the victims were mostly children under the age of ten. They were murdered in cold blood with an assault rifle and hand guns. Doctors and corroners could not acurately state how many times some of these children were shot. Children, at school, were shot too many times to count.
Today, the head of the national rifle association blamed movies and video games for the shooting, and called for armed police officers in EVERY school in America. I have to pause here, that last sentence is making me shake with rage....
Ok, I'm back. So Wayne LePierre thinks, "the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun." Well, ignoring that little bit of John Wayne nonsense, let's look at the amendment that gives us the right to have more guns than we can shake a stick at.
II
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
Ok, we need a well-regulated militia to protect the security of our free state. Well, surely this is in addition to the permanent standing army we've always had-
Section 8 (Powers of Congress) of the United States Constitution:
To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than TWO Years;
WHAT?! did I read that right? the US Constitution calls for a 2 year limit on having a free standing army. Armies, which used to be made up by calling up the state militias to form an army to defend our homeland. So, at the time the 2nd Amendment was made, we wanted to make sure that we would always have highly trained men who could be called upon to form an army in times of war. That makes sense, it's hard to defend yourself when the militias don't have guns to practice with. It also ensures that our military is always made up of volunteer citizens. If the very people who form the army love their country, and are made up of its people and not a privatized mercenery force, we will know that the army cannot be easily turned against its own citizens.
Let me slow that last bit down. One of the things I hear (and have agreed with until I grew a brain and tought about is for 5 minutes) is that we need our guns in case the goverment gets corrupted to the point that a military response is necessary to overthrough a tyrant. Now let's think about this: In the event of our country being taken over by an actual tyrant and not a freely elected leader who won the election according to our laws, (I'm talking to you Bush and Obama haters now. You may think they are evil bastards, but they both got elected fair and square.) you are asking me to believe that A) the extraordinary men and women who make up our military will freely turn against us without a second thought, and B) my best bet to take the country back is by following a bunch of weekend warriors with no real leadership stucture or coordination between units?!
Isn't that sort of the plot of Red Dawn? Wait you're right, in Red Dawn the military gets wiped out. And that's easy to do because we only have like one base in the whole world, and it's totally not locked or guarded or anything. Man! If only we had an intricate series of military installations placed all over the globe, allowing us to respond with deadly force within hours of any attack!! And it would be great if the people manning these bases were our own friends and relatives! Wait, they totally are!!
Whew! I was worried, you know, I guess I do feel safe knowing we have an army ready, willing and able to defend us. You know, I don't think I need barely trained citizens with a hero complex to have access to any weapons they want whenever they want. Such an arrangement would leave open the posibility that even dumber and more evil people would get a hold of them and murder children.
But how do we defend ourselves from bad guys on the streets? Here's where I see Wayne's point about violence in Movies and games, but not the way he thinks. I don't believe that watching an action movie makes you a violent person. I do think that watching too much violence in your entertainment can give you a warped sense of how the world works. For example, if the only images I ever see of a certain color of person are as violent psychos with a death wish, I may become wary of them. If, when I'm watching movies or playing a game, and the only bad guys I see rush at me guns blazing with no regard for their own safety, it's possible I might start to think that criminals are one demensional lunatics who exist only to kill and be killed and that they have no other motivations in life. So now I would live in a world where I think the only goal of all criminals is to murder me. I might get scared and want a gun to defend myself. And I need a gun now! I shoudn't have to have a waiting period! my family could be dead right now because you didn't give me a gun instantly!
I still don't think there is anything wrong with movies or video games, but I would advize a little moderation. Maybe don't only watch gritty action movies, and play gritty military shooters. Maybe watch a comedy once in a while, or play a silly game like plants vs. zombies. If you only watch one thing, then I think there might be cause for concern, but if you practice a little restraint once in a while or switch it up, I think you'll be just fine. I know I've killed a lot of zombies and alien hordes in my day, and last time I checked, I haven't viciously murded any children. And seeing the billions and billions of dollars spent on games and movies, I'd guess that's the case for 99.99% of humanity. Which leaves 0.01% of people who are murderous psychos. I find it laughable that media moves that number much. It's really hard to kill someone with a DVD. You still need access to a gun.
Switching gears for a minute, I wanted to share a quick story.
I was in Colorado a few years ago, and I went with a co-worker to his house to get some guns and go out to a shooting range. When his father realized I don't own any guns, he honestly asked me, "how do you defend yourself?" I thought, "defend myself from what? This is America! Millions of brave souls gave their lives so I wouldn't have to walk down the street with a gun, fearing for my life!" I don't understand how you can claim to live in a free society when you think a small arsenal is a requirement. That's insane.
Incidently, I did have a fabulous time at the shooting range. I get the appeal of shooting a real gun. It does make you feel powerful. But that power is an illusion, and a sickness. You don't control that power, it controls you. It has too. If you don't spend every second making sure the gun is safe, it can turn on you. I just read a story about a man who took is little boy with him to the gun store to sell some old guns. The store wouldn't buy them, so He brought them back out. The rifle went in the back of the truck, and he went to put the hand gun in the glove compartment when it discharged. He'd left a bullet in the chamber and now his son was dead. His son. Dead. Not by some mass-shooter, not by a violent criminal. By his loving father. This story broke my heart. From what I read, he sounded like a great dad, who loved his son, who wanted to share a love and respect for firearms with him. I can't imagine the anguish he feels, and I can't believe he wouldn't trade every gun he ever owned to get his boy back.
We don't need handguns, or military assault rifles in our society. Their continued existence and endless proliferation haven't made us any safer. For you hunters out there, keep your guns. I think it's great that we have a country large enough that we can still go out into the wilderness and hunt our food. But I don't think you need to have any gun that holds more than six shots. If you can't kill your prey in six shots, you don't deserve to eat it. I feel the same way about home defense. I haven't read too many stories about roving gangs of murderers prowling the United States, and I'm willing to bet, most people who break into a house, would rather not die. I'd say, you should be able to scare them off with a warning shot 99.9999% of the time. If that doesn't work, you've still got 5 shots to defend your home, or accidently murder a family member coming home late. The later seems far more likely. Guns aren't a deterrent to violence, they are an instrument of it. Their reason for being is to maim and kill. They serve no other purpose and it's time to say enough is enough. Get the guns off the streets, amend the 2nd amendment. We don't need militias anymore. We've proven again and again that we cannot handle the responsibility.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
DMCP #53 & 54 - Emperor's New Groove, and Home on the Range
Double dose today my friends, up First, THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE.
I really like Emperor's New Groove.
It's not much of a movie by Disney standards, but it's filled with siliness and is a fun little ride. David Spade, John Goodman, and Eartha Kitt are all having a good time, but Partrick Warburton steals the movie as Kronk. In Fact, the whole movie takes it's cue from him. While the stakes are technically life and death, you never for an instant think anyone will come to any harm. They characters seem acutely aware that they are in a cartoon and aren't in any real danger. My favorite example of this is during the final fight scene when we get this gem of dialogue, "Hey, uh, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?" This is pure light-weight entertainment, in a nice way, like a good bag of chips.
7/10
HOME ON THE RANGE
This is the worst movie I have ever seen, and I've seen DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS PEOPLE. It's 75 minutes of pure torture. I just rewatched the Lord of the Rings trilogy, extended edition, and this felt twice as long. I take back every nice thing I ever said about Cuba Gooding Jr. He deserves to be in Daddy Day Camp. This movie is so bad I started to actively hate Judi Dench. Dame Judi Dench!!!
To spare those of you who haven't endured this rancid turd, it's about three cows trying to save their farm from foreclosure by collecting the bounty on a cattle thief, and cattle thief who steals cattle by, I shit you not, Yodeling. THE BAD GUY'S SECRET WEAPON IS YODELING!!!! Who authorized this!? Oh, and Cuba Gooding Jr plays a horse who, I guess is supposed to be a comedic character a la Donkey in Shrek, but is actually a third rate Chris Tucker. This movie is offensively substandard, far worse than any of Disney's straight to DVD sequels. I cannot find the words to express just how badly I want to scrub the inside of my brain with a toothbrush until the memory is gone. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE.
No Score, I don't know numbers small enough.
I really like Emperor's New Groove.
It's not much of a movie by Disney standards, but it's filled with siliness and is a fun little ride. David Spade, John Goodman, and Eartha Kitt are all having a good time, but Partrick Warburton steals the movie as Kronk. In Fact, the whole movie takes it's cue from him. While the stakes are technically life and death, you never for an instant think anyone will come to any harm. They characters seem acutely aware that they are in a cartoon and aren't in any real danger. My favorite example of this is during the final fight scene when we get this gem of dialogue, "Hey, uh, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?" This is pure light-weight entertainment, in a nice way, like a good bag of chips.
7/10
HOME ON THE RANGE
This is the worst movie I have ever seen, and I've seen DEATH BED: THE BED THAT EATS PEOPLE. It's 75 minutes of pure torture. I just rewatched the Lord of the Rings trilogy, extended edition, and this felt twice as long. I take back every nice thing I ever said about Cuba Gooding Jr. He deserves to be in Daddy Day Camp. This movie is so bad I started to actively hate Judi Dench. Dame Judi Dench!!!
To spare those of you who haven't endured this rancid turd, it's about three cows trying to save their farm from foreclosure by collecting the bounty on a cattle thief, and cattle thief who steals cattle by, I shit you not, Yodeling. THE BAD GUY'S SECRET WEAPON IS YODELING!!!! Who authorized this!? Oh, and Cuba Gooding Jr plays a horse who, I guess is supposed to be a comedic character a la Donkey in Shrek, but is actually a third rate Chris Tucker. This movie is offensively substandard, far worse than any of Disney's straight to DVD sequels. I cannot find the words to express just how badly I want to scrub the inside of my brain with a toothbrush until the memory is gone. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE.
No Score, I don't know numbers small enough.
Friday, November 30, 2012
DMCP #52-65 Lilo & Stitch
Today I will be talking about Lilo & Stitch based on the novel "Push" by Saphire. This could be the darkest setup ever for a Disney movie. "Hey, what if we make a movie about a little orphan girl in Hawaii who is clinically depressed, has ADHD and is constantly getting in fights with her older sister, who is trying to raise her. Oh, then her sister can get in trouble with social services, and they we'll have the little girl make friends with a disneyfied xenomorph, and they'll cause so much mayhem, her sister will lose her job and their house can blow up! The kids'll love it!"
Given the basic premise, it's amazing that this movie works so well. Mixing Sci-Fi with a high stakes domestic drama should be a disaster, but somehow, it works. The movie uses a strange sense of humor that blends everything together. When Lilo is attempting to punish her friends with voodoo dolls, it somehow makes sense that her best friend should be a genetically engineered creature of distruction.
The story of Lilo and her sister Nani is a very honest look at a broken family that has been through unimaginable tradgedy. You get to see two people trying to find a way to make things work while feeling crushed by the reality of their situation. It is in these moments of honesty that we get some of the best scenes in the movie.
As a total contrast, we get to see goofy alien creatures attempt to recapture the escaped Stitch. The fish our of water alien duo add a nice dash of silliness and also causes Stitch to stay with Lilo to evade capture. It works more often than not, but it is the weakest part of the film. In fact, apart from Stitch, most of the Alien characters are very generic and boring, thankfully we only see them in the prologue and at the end of the movie. One other charcter that needs to be recognized is Ving Rhames as the social worker, Cobra Bubbles. Ridiculous name aside, he doe a great job of not letting the social worker be a villain. He is actually looking out for the best interests of Lilo and Nani, and given the events of the movie, you can't really blame him for his actions.
The core of the movie revolves around the idea of 'Ohana. As we are told throughout the movie, 'Ohana, means family; and that no one gets left behind or forgotten. It is really a beautiful sentiment that the movie drives home. The central message is that families aren't always happy or perfect, but they should always stick together. As Stitch points out at the end of the movie, "This is my family. I Found it. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good." It's a great message for Disney to send out, and one that is repeated over and over again in their films. It's what makes people love these movies so much. They always try to tell you that outsiders are valuable and as deserving of love as anyone else, and that a family can take many shapes. They maybe little and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good
8.5/10
Given the basic premise, it's amazing that this movie works so well. Mixing Sci-Fi with a high stakes domestic drama should be a disaster, but somehow, it works. The movie uses a strange sense of humor that blends everything together. When Lilo is attempting to punish her friends with voodoo dolls, it somehow makes sense that her best friend should be a genetically engineered creature of distruction.
The story of Lilo and her sister Nani is a very honest look at a broken family that has been through unimaginable tradgedy. You get to see two people trying to find a way to make things work while feeling crushed by the reality of their situation. It is in these moments of honesty that we get some of the best scenes in the movie.
As a total contrast, we get to see goofy alien creatures attempt to recapture the escaped Stitch. The fish our of water alien duo add a nice dash of silliness and also causes Stitch to stay with Lilo to evade capture. It works more often than not, but it is the weakest part of the film. In fact, apart from Stitch, most of the Alien characters are very generic and boring, thankfully we only see them in the prologue and at the end of the movie. One other charcter that needs to be recognized is Ving Rhames as the social worker, Cobra Bubbles. Ridiculous name aside, he doe a great job of not letting the social worker be a villain. He is actually looking out for the best interests of Lilo and Nani, and given the events of the movie, you can't really blame him for his actions.
The core of the movie revolves around the idea of 'Ohana. As we are told throughout the movie, 'Ohana, means family; and that no one gets left behind or forgotten. It is really a beautiful sentiment that the movie drives home. The central message is that families aren't always happy or perfect, but they should always stick together. As Stitch points out at the end of the movie, "This is my family. I Found it. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good." It's a great message for Disney to send out, and one that is repeated over and over again in their films. It's what makes people love these movies so much. They always try to tell you that outsiders are valuable and as deserving of love as anyone else, and that a family can take many shapes. They maybe little and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good
8.5/10
Sunday, November 25, 2012
DMCP - Wreck-It Ralph
It's been awhile, so let's get right to it.
If you haven't seen Wreck-It Ralph yet, go. Right now. It's a great film and loaded with enough eye candy to give you a tooth ache.
The story is about the existential crisis that Ralph has after spending 30 years doing a job no one respects. What do you do when you provide a crucial service that makes everyone hate you? Ralph represents anyone who's ever felt that their job has kept them from gaining respect in their community. Garbagemen, customer service reps, census workers, tax collectors, etc. If you've held a job like this, you can understand Ralph's depression. To the other characters in his game, he is an untouchable, a worthless oaf. It is only when he leaves on a desparate mission to become a hero that the other characters see his value.
In one of the worlds Ralph travels to, we get to meet Vanelopee Von Schweetz, an outcast in her own game for being a glitch. Like Ralph, Everyone sees her as a mistake to be ignored or bullied. Ralph forms a friendship with Vanelopee and tries to help her prove her worth, and learns what it means to be a hero in the process.
Without getting into spoilers, the movie also does a nice job dealing with effects of letting yourself be consumed by jealousy over another's success. This Character goes to sadistic extremes to stay relevent, denying others their opportunity for success. It's quite the cautionary tale when you see just how much distruction and pain this jealousy causes.
But enough about the serious stuff. This movie is also gorgeous. The various game worlds are rendered beatifully, especially Sugar Rush. If you've never played a video game, or if you've been playing them your whole life, I defy you to come out of this movie not wishing this was a real game. This Candyland meets MarioKart world is the setting for the best action sequences and visual delights in the movie. In the words of Tina Fey, "I want to go to there."
For Video game fans, we get to see games treated with respect. So often, video games are portrayed as little more than toys for kids and losers. In Wreck-It Ralph, you instead get to see games as exciting, immersive worlds worth spending time in. The movie celebrates the history of games with cameos of characters we've known for over 30 years. Older gamers will recognize the characters they grew up with, while younger gamers will recognize some of these characters as the corporate mascots they have become.
Kudos goes to John C. Reily as Ralph and Sarah Silverman as Vanelopee. They have created fully demensional characters that you can't help but fall in love with. I also want to give props to Alan Tudyk (Wash from Firefly!) for doing an amazing homage to Ed Wynn as the crazy ruler of the Surgar Rush kingdom. It's awesome.
So go see Wreck-It Ralph.
9/10
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Big Trouble in Little China - John Carpenter's Masterpiece
So, those of you who've known me for awhile may be aware that Big Trouble in Little China is one of my favorite movies of all time. I've probably seen it over 50 times easily, and I don't understand why this isn't the John Carpenter movie everyone talks about instead of Halloween. It's brilliant. Allow me to Explain.
1. Best portrayals of Asian- Americans in 80's cinema? - In the same decade that Sixteen Candles gave us Long Duck Dong, John Carpenter gave us a movie that, while certainly having fun with Chinese Mythology, also gives us a much better view of Asians than we'd previously seen. Yes, there's chinese magic and Kung Fu. The film is very clearly aiming for B-movie siliness (The director's commentary with John Carpenter and Kurt Russell confirms this)but, within that context we get Characters like Uncle Chu and Eddie. They both work at Wang Chi's Restaurant, and niether of them knows kung fu or magic. Eddie is an everyman. He's easy going, shy around the ladies, and is the kind of guy you'd love to be friends with. Uncle Chu is a grandfatherly type who knows the old chinese legends the same way any other elderly relative might know the folk stories of their culture.
The movie also has a lot of fun directly challenging stereotypes. Most of the Asian Actors speak perfect English, know how to drive, and are sexual beings. Egg Shen is a very capable bus driver (he successfully dodges the Pork Chop Express as it barrels at him going the wrong way on a one way street). The movie's plot revolves around Wang Chi's quest to rescue his fiancee. Wang Chi (Dennis Dun) is the hero and romantic lead of the story. He's the one who gets the girl in the end, and gets to make out with her. Quick, How many American movies can you name where the hero is an Asian Male who wins the love of his girl and they get to kiss at the end and live happily ever after? I can't think of any.
2. Kurt Russell's Jack Burton - This is my Favorite Kurt Russell performance of all time. He is the Star of the movie, but not the hero. He is setup in the prologue scene with Victor Wong to be a great man, then we quickly cut to a dirty truck driver, sloppily eating a sandwich as he pontificates about his greatness over his CB radio. This is 1986, the time of Rambo and Schwarzenegger and Indiana Jones. Jack Burton is a schlub. He's dirty, gross, rude, and has the casual arrogance and racism of an 80's All-American male. He fails to do a single thing right in the whole movie until the very end. And even then, his lone act of competence was "all in the reflexes." Jack's presence in the film serves at every turn to elevate the dignity and reality of the other Characters. His failures serve to contrast the lives the Asian Characters. Uncle Chu is a Chef, Eddie is a Matre D', Wang owns his own restaurant, and Egg Shen is a bus driver who also happens to own a whole block of real estate in San Francisco's China Town. These are very successful people, living out the American dream, and Jack Burton is just along for the ride. The humor in the movie is in his failure to understand that he is not in control. He assumes he should know what's going on. He's a white male in America. How could he be out of his depth? But he is. His one positive trait is his loyalty to his friend Wang Chi. When he's not trying deal with the magic and silliness of the movie, Jack treats Wang as his equal, and the movie doesn't draw attention to it. They are friends, they respect each other, and not much is said about it. It's the casualness of this friendship that really stands out when you look at other buddy friendships involving asian characters. Usually, the American (Chris Tucker, Owen Wilson, or whoever else is playing oposite Jackie Chan) has to grow to respect the Asian Character throughout the course of the film, and the Asian actor (usually Jackie Chan) is playing a variation on the noble savage stereotype. Not so here, Wang is already a successful, charming American bussiness owner when we meet him, and Jack is his sidekick. Wang likes Jack for his boistrous, outspoken nature, and Jack admires Wang's success. The race of the characters only matter because of the plot.
3. The plot. This movie is a great example of building a crazy story from the simplest beginning. Jack drives into Chinatown to make a delivery and stays for a night of gambling. Wang Chi, nervous about picking his fiancee up at the airport, joins the party. In the morning, Jack has won big and Wang wants to make a double or nothing bet and loses. Jack, ever the classy guy, gives wang a lift to the airport so he can make sure he gets his money. Then there's a kidnapping, kung fu battles, magic, mystical warriors, ghosts, monsters, and a young Kim Catrall. It goes to so many crazy places, but always maintains a sense of fun. I can't understand watching this movie without a smile on your face. The fights are awesomely staged and shot. (James Lew, the fight choreographer, would go on to work with pretty much every martial arts star ever) The alley way stand off between the Wing Kong and Chang Sings followed by the Arrival of the Three Storms is still one of my favorite actions scenes. It's a combination of martial arts and back alley brawling, all shot in a way that you can clearly follow the action, and the Three Storms have my vote for best villain entrance. I'd try to describe it, but it sounds way less cool in print.
4. Cast and Characters - First of all, this cast is amazing. If you love action movies, especially martial arts movies, you will spend about every five minutes going, "Hey, it's that guy! From that thing!" It's a who's who of Asian Character actors, stunt men and choreographers. James Hong, Victor Wong, James Lew, Donald Li, Chao Li Chi, Al Leoung, and many others. James Hong in particular gives an inspired performance as the villain Lo Pan. Hong effortlessly shifts from creepy to crazy to funny all while maintaining the integrety of the character. His fight with Egg Shen is the most WTF moment in the film, in a good way. It's just Awesome.
5. WTF? Lastly, this movie is filled with WTF moments that showcase just how much fun the movie is. Eyeball Monsters, Videogame battles, exploding men, and Kate Burton delivering my favorite line of ridiculous exposition ever with a straight face. "You mean THE David Lo Pan, the chairman of the national orient bank and the owner of the Wing Cong import export trading company? But who's so reclusive, that nobody's even laid eyes on the guy in years?!" Yes, that David Lo Pan.
Thanks for reading. Now I have room in my brain for a new post.
1. Best portrayals of Asian- Americans in 80's cinema? - In the same decade that Sixteen Candles gave us Long Duck Dong, John Carpenter gave us a movie that, while certainly having fun with Chinese Mythology, also gives us a much better view of Asians than we'd previously seen. Yes, there's chinese magic and Kung Fu. The film is very clearly aiming for B-movie siliness (The director's commentary with John Carpenter and Kurt Russell confirms this)but, within that context we get Characters like Uncle Chu and Eddie. They both work at Wang Chi's Restaurant, and niether of them knows kung fu or magic. Eddie is an everyman. He's easy going, shy around the ladies, and is the kind of guy you'd love to be friends with. Uncle Chu is a grandfatherly type who knows the old chinese legends the same way any other elderly relative might know the folk stories of their culture.
The movie also has a lot of fun directly challenging stereotypes. Most of the Asian Actors speak perfect English, know how to drive, and are sexual beings. Egg Shen is a very capable bus driver (he successfully dodges the Pork Chop Express as it barrels at him going the wrong way on a one way street). The movie's plot revolves around Wang Chi's quest to rescue his fiancee. Wang Chi (Dennis Dun) is the hero and romantic lead of the story. He's the one who gets the girl in the end, and gets to make out with her. Quick, How many American movies can you name where the hero is an Asian Male who wins the love of his girl and they get to kiss at the end and live happily ever after? I can't think of any.
2. Kurt Russell's Jack Burton - This is my Favorite Kurt Russell performance of all time. He is the Star of the movie, but not the hero. He is setup in the prologue scene with Victor Wong to be a great man, then we quickly cut to a dirty truck driver, sloppily eating a sandwich as he pontificates about his greatness over his CB radio. This is 1986, the time of Rambo and Schwarzenegger and Indiana Jones. Jack Burton is a schlub. He's dirty, gross, rude, and has the casual arrogance and racism of an 80's All-American male. He fails to do a single thing right in the whole movie until the very end. And even then, his lone act of competence was "all in the reflexes." Jack's presence in the film serves at every turn to elevate the dignity and reality of the other Characters. His failures serve to contrast the lives the Asian Characters. Uncle Chu is a Chef, Eddie is a Matre D', Wang owns his own restaurant, and Egg Shen is a bus driver who also happens to own a whole block of real estate in San Francisco's China Town. These are very successful people, living out the American dream, and Jack Burton is just along for the ride. The humor in the movie is in his failure to understand that he is not in control. He assumes he should know what's going on. He's a white male in America. How could he be out of his depth? But he is. His one positive trait is his loyalty to his friend Wang Chi. When he's not trying deal with the magic and silliness of the movie, Jack treats Wang as his equal, and the movie doesn't draw attention to it. They are friends, they respect each other, and not much is said about it. It's the casualness of this friendship that really stands out when you look at other buddy friendships involving asian characters. Usually, the American (Chris Tucker, Owen Wilson, or whoever else is playing oposite Jackie Chan) has to grow to respect the Asian Character throughout the course of the film, and the Asian actor (usually Jackie Chan) is playing a variation on the noble savage stereotype. Not so here, Wang is already a successful, charming American bussiness owner when we meet him, and Jack is his sidekick. Wang likes Jack for his boistrous, outspoken nature, and Jack admires Wang's success. The race of the characters only matter because of the plot.
3. The plot. This movie is a great example of building a crazy story from the simplest beginning. Jack drives into Chinatown to make a delivery and stays for a night of gambling. Wang Chi, nervous about picking his fiancee up at the airport, joins the party. In the morning, Jack has won big and Wang wants to make a double or nothing bet and loses. Jack, ever the classy guy, gives wang a lift to the airport so he can make sure he gets his money. Then there's a kidnapping, kung fu battles, magic, mystical warriors, ghosts, monsters, and a young Kim Catrall. It goes to so many crazy places, but always maintains a sense of fun. I can't understand watching this movie without a smile on your face. The fights are awesomely staged and shot. (James Lew, the fight choreographer, would go on to work with pretty much every martial arts star ever) The alley way stand off between the Wing Kong and Chang Sings followed by the Arrival of the Three Storms is still one of my favorite actions scenes. It's a combination of martial arts and back alley brawling, all shot in a way that you can clearly follow the action, and the Three Storms have my vote for best villain entrance. I'd try to describe it, but it sounds way less cool in print.
4. Cast and Characters - First of all, this cast is amazing. If you love action movies, especially martial arts movies, you will spend about every five minutes going, "Hey, it's that guy! From that thing!" It's a who's who of Asian Character actors, stunt men and choreographers. James Hong, Victor Wong, James Lew, Donald Li, Chao Li Chi, Al Leoung, and many others. James Hong in particular gives an inspired performance as the villain Lo Pan. Hong effortlessly shifts from creepy to crazy to funny all while maintaining the integrety of the character. His fight with Egg Shen is the most WTF moment in the film, in a good way. It's just Awesome.
5. WTF? Lastly, this movie is filled with WTF moments that showcase just how much fun the movie is. Eyeball Monsters, Videogame battles, exploding men, and Kate Burton delivering my favorite line of ridiculous exposition ever with a straight face. "You mean THE David Lo Pan, the chairman of the national orient bank and the owner of the Wing Cong import export trading company? But who's so reclusive, that nobody's even laid eyes on the guy in years?!" Yes, that David Lo Pan.
Thanks for reading. Now I have room in my brain for a new post.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
My Top Ten Scary Movies
If you ever wondered how you could scare the crap out of me, then I have news for you. The following is a list of the top ten scariest movies I have ever seen. These are movies that caused an actual fear response, cause me to scream, cry out, run out of the house to find safety, or just stay up trembling. What you won't find on this list are some movies that seem to always top these lists. No SHINING, OMEN, or EXORCIST here. (I agree with Beetlejuice about the Exorcist. It does get funnier every time I see it!) So here it is, my top ten:
10. 1408 - I spend a lot of time letting my mind wonder/fixate on things, so watching John Cusack slowly lose his mind while being terrified by a malevolent force realy got to me. I remember walking out of the theatre and feeling like I'd been awake during a really messed up dream I had. The rest of that day was spent trying to shake the feeling that I was still living in some kind of weird nightmare.
9. POLTERGEIST - One scene. The guy who goes into th bathroom to peel a bit of something off his face, if you've seen it, you know what happens next. You ever try to have a screaming match with your brain? I did, and my brain won. *shudders*
8. SE7EN - I hate David Fincher. Apart from a brief stint in my late teens when I though Fight Club was awesome, I can safely say I've loathed every single thing he has made. Mostly because I don't understand people heaping praise on boring, stupid movies, but Se7en I hate for a different reason. It's the kind of movie that is so dark, and still has a sense of reality about it, that by the end, I have lost all faith in humanity. This movie makes me not want to live in a world that bleak. It's a horror equivalent of watching Requiem for a Dream: After it's over, I just want to hold my loved ones and cry, and then put on Super Troopers to chase the sadness away.
7. PSYCHO - This is a movie I thought I knew all there was to know about. I've watched Bravo count down the 100 scariest movie moments about a dozen times, and they always talk about the shower scene, Norman sinking the car, and the guy falling down the stairs. What they leave out is the ending. Oh God, the ending. When you finally see the face of the killer, it's so unsettling and bizare, your brain can't quite process it. Anthony Perkins gives the best serial killer performance I have ever seen. He is so captivating, balancing pitiful and creepy perfectly. And the final shot of the film is creepier than anything in Silence of the Lambs, which is also based on the life of Ed Gein.
6. JAWS - I have an almost crippling fear of being in a deep body of water, and I blame Jaws. Even swimming in the lakes back home, If the water goes over my head, I know, I KNOW, I am about to die. I've gotten better about suppressing that feeling, but it's always, always there. Stupid shark movie.
5. SAW III - Sometimes the context you see a movie in changes everything. I'm actually a fan of the Saw franchise, which is surprising because the first time I saw the original, I thought it was the worst movie I'd ever seen. But the makeup and prop designer inside of me grew to love the inventive traps as the series went on. But I watched Saw III for the first time in a hotel room with a bunch of my theatre friends in college, and I was the only one in the room who liked scary movies. When you have that many people around you losing their minds, you get infected by it, and you start to feel very unsafe. The movie has turned on you and you may not make it. Also, this one has the two most upsetting traps in the whole series: the pig trap, and the torture rack. I still can't keep my eyes open in those scenes.
4. DRAG ME TO HELL - Of all the movies on this list, this is the only one with happy memories. I saw this at the Rivoli Theatre in La Crosse, WI. A group of us from the theatre I was working at drove over there and ordered pizza, beer, & hot wings and sat in the front row and had an absolute blast. This movie balanced the scares about 2 seconds after you have started laughing at the punchline of a joke, causing you to shift from laugh to scream on a dime, followed by another laugh of apreciation. If you love the thrills and scares of the best rollercoasters, this movie is for you.
3. THE DESCENT - I love visiting caves, but I always have that moment where I think of just how many tons of rock I'm standing under, and how dead I'd be if there was a cave in. This movie answers that question, then makes it worse, by adding monsters down there as well. It also features a cast of strong female characters who mostly try to do exactly what I'd do in the same situation. And they're still screwed. If you watch this movie, stick with the unrated ending. It's way better.
2. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE - This movie makes me just want to shower. It's just so relentlessly horrifying. It was also the first slasher movie I saw that starred average looking, sympathetic victims. The movie starts creepy, quickly moves to F'ed up when they pick up a hitch-hiker, and it only goes downhill from there. The final sequence with the whole family around the dinner table is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a movie. This is not a movie to watch alone.
1. THE INNKEEPERS - Ti West is my new favorite horror director, and this movie caught me totally off guard. I'd already seen his first movie, HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, which is a pretty great throwback horror movie. I liked it, but I wasn't too scared by it. His second film though, caused me to flee my house in terror. To say anything about the INNKEEPERS is to spoil the surprise, so I'll just give my inner monologue as I watched it: "la la la, lovable losers, closing hotel, blah blah blah.......ha, that was cute.....blah blah blah, oooh, that's kind a creepy, la la la, oh good, it's almost over, what a disapointme- wait...what? no, oh no, ohnonononononono, Get out of there! OH SH*T! OH! OH MY GOD!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!.............. I'm going to hide somewhere bright and happy, like the mall." By lulling you into a near stupor, your brain isn't prepared when the movie gets scary, and you feel like you do when a dream you're having takes a wrong turn: you're helpless and terrified and you just want to make it stop. This movie is the reason for this post, mainly because I had a dream last night where my wife and I were in the final scary scene. Not cool, subconscious, not cool at all.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: as a small child I walked into the room at my grandparents house right when Toht's face was melting off. Nightmares for weeks. Also, I hate spiders.
JURASSIC PARK: Went to see this movie for a friend's birthday party in 3rd Grade. I hid under the candy counter from the moment the guy gets pulled into the raptor cage in the opening until the T-rex fought the raptors at the end. Basically, Steven Spielberg was the root of all my childhood trauma.
SPY KIDS: I have two words for you: Thumb Thumbs. ugh! I was so creeped out by this movie, I made my dad take us back to the movie theater to see Josie and the Pussycats just so I could sleep that night.
10. 1408 - I spend a lot of time letting my mind wonder/fixate on things, so watching John Cusack slowly lose his mind while being terrified by a malevolent force realy got to me. I remember walking out of the theatre and feeling like I'd been awake during a really messed up dream I had. The rest of that day was spent trying to shake the feeling that I was still living in some kind of weird nightmare.
9. POLTERGEIST - One scene. The guy who goes into th bathroom to peel a bit of something off his face, if you've seen it, you know what happens next. You ever try to have a screaming match with your brain? I did, and my brain won. *shudders*
8. SE7EN - I hate David Fincher. Apart from a brief stint in my late teens when I though Fight Club was awesome, I can safely say I've loathed every single thing he has made. Mostly because I don't understand people heaping praise on boring, stupid movies, but Se7en I hate for a different reason. It's the kind of movie that is so dark, and still has a sense of reality about it, that by the end, I have lost all faith in humanity. This movie makes me not want to live in a world that bleak. It's a horror equivalent of watching Requiem for a Dream: After it's over, I just want to hold my loved ones and cry, and then put on Super Troopers to chase the sadness away.
7. PSYCHO - This is a movie I thought I knew all there was to know about. I've watched Bravo count down the 100 scariest movie moments about a dozen times, and they always talk about the shower scene, Norman sinking the car, and the guy falling down the stairs. What they leave out is the ending. Oh God, the ending. When you finally see the face of the killer, it's so unsettling and bizare, your brain can't quite process it. Anthony Perkins gives the best serial killer performance I have ever seen. He is so captivating, balancing pitiful and creepy perfectly. And the final shot of the film is creepier than anything in Silence of the Lambs, which is also based on the life of Ed Gein.
6. JAWS - I have an almost crippling fear of being in a deep body of water, and I blame Jaws. Even swimming in the lakes back home, If the water goes over my head, I know, I KNOW, I am about to die. I've gotten better about suppressing that feeling, but it's always, always there. Stupid shark movie.
5. SAW III - Sometimes the context you see a movie in changes everything. I'm actually a fan of the Saw franchise, which is surprising because the first time I saw the original, I thought it was the worst movie I'd ever seen. But the makeup and prop designer inside of me grew to love the inventive traps as the series went on. But I watched Saw III for the first time in a hotel room with a bunch of my theatre friends in college, and I was the only one in the room who liked scary movies. When you have that many people around you losing their minds, you get infected by it, and you start to feel very unsafe. The movie has turned on you and you may not make it. Also, this one has the two most upsetting traps in the whole series: the pig trap, and the torture rack. I still can't keep my eyes open in those scenes.
4. DRAG ME TO HELL - Of all the movies on this list, this is the only one with happy memories. I saw this at the Rivoli Theatre in La Crosse, WI. A group of us from the theatre I was working at drove over there and ordered pizza, beer, & hot wings and sat in the front row and had an absolute blast. This movie balanced the scares about 2 seconds after you have started laughing at the punchline of a joke, causing you to shift from laugh to scream on a dime, followed by another laugh of apreciation. If you love the thrills and scares of the best rollercoasters, this movie is for you.
3. THE DESCENT - I love visiting caves, but I always have that moment where I think of just how many tons of rock I'm standing under, and how dead I'd be if there was a cave in. This movie answers that question, then makes it worse, by adding monsters down there as well. It also features a cast of strong female characters who mostly try to do exactly what I'd do in the same situation. And they're still screwed. If you watch this movie, stick with the unrated ending. It's way better.
2. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE - This movie makes me just want to shower. It's just so relentlessly horrifying. It was also the first slasher movie I saw that starred average looking, sympathetic victims. The movie starts creepy, quickly moves to F'ed up when they pick up a hitch-hiker, and it only goes downhill from there. The final sequence with the whole family around the dinner table is the most disturbing thing I've seen in a movie. This is not a movie to watch alone.
1. THE INNKEEPERS - Ti West is my new favorite horror director, and this movie caught me totally off guard. I'd already seen his first movie, HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, which is a pretty great throwback horror movie. I liked it, but I wasn't too scared by it. His second film though, caused me to flee my house in terror. To say anything about the INNKEEPERS is to spoil the surprise, so I'll just give my inner monologue as I watched it: "la la la, lovable losers, closing hotel, blah blah blah.......ha, that was cute.....blah blah blah, oooh, that's kind a creepy, la la la, oh good, it's almost over, what a disapointme- wait...what? no, oh no, ohnonononononono, Get out of there! OH SH*T! OH! OH MY GOD!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!.............. I'm going to hide somewhere bright and happy, like the mall." By lulling you into a near stupor, your brain isn't prepared when the movie gets scary, and you feel like you do when a dream you're having takes a wrong turn: you're helpless and terrified and you just want to make it stop. This movie is the reason for this post, mainly because I had a dream last night where my wife and I were in the final scary scene. Not cool, subconscious, not cool at all.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: as a small child I walked into the room at my grandparents house right when Toht's face was melting off. Nightmares for weeks. Also, I hate spiders.
JURASSIC PARK: Went to see this movie for a friend's birthday party in 3rd Grade. I hid under the candy counter from the moment the guy gets pulled into the raptor cage in the opening until the T-rex fought the raptors at the end. Basically, Steven Spielberg was the root of all my childhood trauma.
SPY KIDS: I have two words for you: Thumb Thumbs. ugh! I was so creeped out by this movie, I made my dad take us back to the movie theater to see Josie and the Pussycats just so I could sleep that night.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
My one and only statement about MN amendments.
This is my one and only statement in regards to this election. If you're sick of hearing about politics, just stop reading now. really. It's fine. I wrote this to get it off my chest more than I wrote it to convince anyone that I'm right. Now that you've been warned, it's about to get all kinds of preachy up in here.
Still reading? Ok. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Everyone, my one and only political statement: Vote for the representives you believe in. That is your right and duty as an American citizen. If you can see my facebook profile, it means I have friended you and I think you are a good and decent person. I also believe your vote is sacred and private, you don't need to explain yourself to anyone. I only ask that those of you voting in MN think long and hard about the marriage and voter ID amendments. Voting yes on either is a vote to restrict the rights of those around you.
The marriage amendment needlessly restricts the rights of people who are very dear to me, people who have shown me great kindness and generosity over the years, people I would do anything for. A vote no does not affect your beliefs, it does not legalize gay marriage, it only prevents us from using the state constitution to officially sanction bigotry. Even if gay marriage were to be legalized (as it should be), the government cannot force religious institutions to perform gay weddings. Churches have and will continue to have the right to refuse to marry any one they wish. For example, Catholic churches refuse to marry people all the time for various reasons, and they will certainly be able to add gay people to that list when gay marriage becomes legal. That is their right, and a right given to all religious institutions that I would fight for them to keep. Gay marriage is about giving legal protections and responsibility to those who disire it. It's about letting people retain joint property and assets after a death, it's about visiting loved ones in the hospital, and it's about the right to divorce and recieve fair treatment by the law when dissolving such a partnership. There are countless other legal and logistical advantages to being married that my gay friends are being denied everyday for archaic and ridiculous reasons. Marriage has evolved and been redefined countless times or the centuries. Multiple wives, dowries, concubines, arranged marriages.... these are all repelent ideas to us now, and they were all once allowed under "traditional" views of marriage. we changed definitions again over the years when we allowed interracial marriages. The world continued to spin. It will continue to spin after we let all loving, caring adults marry the ones they love. Please vote No, it hurts no one, and will mean a lot to people I love very much.
As for the voter ID amendment, the amendment cost millions of dollars, with cause a need for increased government oversight, disenfranchise millions of voters, and do almost nothing to stop voter fraud. Why? People who currently don't have driver's license will need to find a way to get and pay for a photo ID. The incresed demand will create a need to hire more government workers, and, being the goverment, we'll need to pay someone else to watch over them. There are also many people who cannot travel, cannot afford the fee, or both. So either Taxpayers will have to pick up the tab, or these American citizens will be dinied the right to vote. All this is allegedly to prevent voter fraud. Studies show that voter fraud among the general public is rare. $500 in fines and potential jail time is a lot to risk for one extra vote. Likewise for politicians themselves. The fallout from being caught stealing votes would be devastating. Besides, logic suggests that the political parties would not be spending hundreds of millions of dollars a year raising money to win votes if they could just cheat. It's a wasteful, stupid amendment that expects us to vote to restrict the voting process out of fear and ignorance. I for one, will not vote to restrict my or any one else's rights. I urge you to do the same.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. That's pretty much all I have to say on the subject. If you disagree, thanks for hearing me out. You are of course welcome to attempt to change my mind. Fair warning, it won't work. We will both be happier agreeing to disagree.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
DMCP # 50-63 - Ratatouille
FIVE MONTHS BETWEEN POSTS!!! sorry everyone. I've been a little busy moving to another state and job hunting and what not. Anyway, on with the countdown....
I love Pixar, I love Patton Oswalt, I love food, I love cooking. So why isn't Ratatouille one of my favorite movies of all time? I should love this movie, but I only like it. This movie has moments of greatness to be sure, Ego's review at the end is one of my favorite descriptions of criticism ever. But I do disagree a little that negative criticism is fun to read and write. It is fun to read and write when a movie is a bloated hollywood mess directed by Michael Bay or George Lucas, but I take little joy from having to eviscerate Cars 2 or Pinnochio. It's not fun to be negative about something you wanted to love. I'd always rather be raving about something unique that needs to be defended.
This goes back to my problems with Ratatouille. It is a unique story, and I love the message that while not every one is great, true greatness can come from anywhere. I sometimes feel that this is the message we've been trying to teach kids all along. You know, before we started giving participation ribbons for everything. Pixar movies tend to have several variations on this theme and I quite like it. It is a reminder that greatness is something everyone should strive for, even if we don't all achieve it.
What Pixar doesn't do very well here is show the amount of work it take to be great. All of Remy's problems with being a cook have to do with being a rat. Yes, that's a huge obstacle for our hero, but his genius as a cook never seems earned. It's almost like starting Star Wars with Anikin Skywalker already being good at everything he does, except people don't like him so life is hard. That is a harsh example, and Phantom Menace isn't in the same league as Ratatouille, but I believe they share a problem of having a protagonist who is too skilled to be truly interesting. We never see Remy fail at cooking, and I think the movie suffers for it. I wish we could have one moment where Remy fails at the thing he is truly great at. I want him to have a new recipe turn out badly. It happens to everyone who loves to cook. In fact, every good cook I know has done this, and it makes them better. Even Remy's hero Gusteau has a bad recipe that needs to be fixed. By not having Remy ever make a cooking error, it sucks a lot of tension out of the film.
Everything hinges on how to get a rat to cook in a French kitchen. Again, huge obstacle for our hero, but our hero is already an anthropomorphic rat with super cooking powers. If you suspend your disbelief that far, there's no doubt he'll succeed if he gets the chance. And we know he'll get the chance. Even with all the obstacles put in front of him, movie watching has taught us that the hero will always get a chance to square off against the villain. Rocky isn't about if he'll get to fight Apollo Creed. We know he will, that's why we are watching. We want to see if he can win. Spiderman will fight Dr. Octopus, The Incredibles will face Syndrome, etc, etc, etc. We never get a moment to feel like Remy can't beat Anton Ego. All those moments are given to Linguini, which is a shame because he is more or less a plot device. He is the tool Remy uses to succeed and I don't care much about the feelings and doubts of a tool. Linguini isn't a substantial enough character to carry the weight of the movie. His arc is this: clumsy boy becomes friends with rat who can work him like a puppet by pulling his hair, he learns to become confident in himself, and learns he is a good waiter by the end. That's it! the journey from dishwasher to waiter is not interesting. None of his other fame and success is his doing. So what we have is Remy and Linguini sharing the role of hero. Remy has all the talent, but none of the being human necessary to succeed, and Linguini has none of the talent and all of the (fully justified) self doubt. Neither of them are complete enough characters for us to get behind.
With all that said, I still find the movie charming. The animation is gorgeous, the side characters are fun, Peter O'T0oole's Villainous food critic is brilliant, and the sound is great. The highlight of the movie for me is the moment when Collette shows Linguini how to find good bread. The crackle of the bread makes my mouth water every single time and I'm tempted to just turn the movie off and go eat a whole loaf of french bread. I wish the movie had more moments like that. Instead we get good soup (which is too vague in description to be interesting) and ratatouille (which does look delicious). For a movie about cooking, it's sadly lacking in culinary money shots.
All in all Ratatouille is a likeable movie, but it never reaches the levels of greatness that it seeks to celebrate.
6/10
I love Pixar, I love Patton Oswalt, I love food, I love cooking. So why isn't Ratatouille one of my favorite movies of all time? I should love this movie, but I only like it. This movie has moments of greatness to be sure, Ego's review at the end is one of my favorite descriptions of criticism ever. But I do disagree a little that negative criticism is fun to read and write. It is fun to read and write when a movie is a bloated hollywood mess directed by Michael Bay or George Lucas, but I take little joy from having to eviscerate Cars 2 or Pinnochio. It's not fun to be negative about something you wanted to love. I'd always rather be raving about something unique that needs to be defended.
This goes back to my problems with Ratatouille. It is a unique story, and I love the message that while not every one is great, true greatness can come from anywhere. I sometimes feel that this is the message we've been trying to teach kids all along. You know, before we started giving participation ribbons for everything. Pixar movies tend to have several variations on this theme and I quite like it. It is a reminder that greatness is something everyone should strive for, even if we don't all achieve it.
What Pixar doesn't do very well here is show the amount of work it take to be great. All of Remy's problems with being a cook have to do with being a rat. Yes, that's a huge obstacle for our hero, but his genius as a cook never seems earned. It's almost like starting Star Wars with Anikin Skywalker already being good at everything he does, except people don't like him so life is hard. That is a harsh example, and Phantom Menace isn't in the same league as Ratatouille, but I believe they share a problem of having a protagonist who is too skilled to be truly interesting. We never see Remy fail at cooking, and I think the movie suffers for it. I wish we could have one moment where Remy fails at the thing he is truly great at. I want him to have a new recipe turn out badly. It happens to everyone who loves to cook. In fact, every good cook I know has done this, and it makes them better. Even Remy's hero Gusteau has a bad recipe that needs to be fixed. By not having Remy ever make a cooking error, it sucks a lot of tension out of the film.
Everything hinges on how to get a rat to cook in a French kitchen. Again, huge obstacle for our hero, but our hero is already an anthropomorphic rat with super cooking powers. If you suspend your disbelief that far, there's no doubt he'll succeed if he gets the chance. And we know he'll get the chance. Even with all the obstacles put in front of him, movie watching has taught us that the hero will always get a chance to square off against the villain. Rocky isn't about if he'll get to fight Apollo Creed. We know he will, that's why we are watching. We want to see if he can win. Spiderman will fight Dr. Octopus, The Incredibles will face Syndrome, etc, etc, etc. We never get a moment to feel like Remy can't beat Anton Ego. All those moments are given to Linguini, which is a shame because he is more or less a plot device. He is the tool Remy uses to succeed and I don't care much about the feelings and doubts of a tool. Linguini isn't a substantial enough character to carry the weight of the movie. His arc is this: clumsy boy becomes friends with rat who can work him like a puppet by pulling his hair, he learns to become confident in himself, and learns he is a good waiter by the end. That's it! the journey from dishwasher to waiter is not interesting. None of his other fame and success is his doing. So what we have is Remy and Linguini sharing the role of hero. Remy has all the talent, but none of the being human necessary to succeed, and Linguini has none of the talent and all of the (fully justified) self doubt. Neither of them are complete enough characters for us to get behind.
With all that said, I still find the movie charming. The animation is gorgeous, the side characters are fun, Peter O'T0oole's Villainous food critic is brilliant, and the sound is great. The highlight of the movie for me is the moment when Collette shows Linguini how to find good bread. The crackle of the bread makes my mouth water every single time and I'm tempted to just turn the movie off and go eat a whole loaf of french bread. I wish the movie had more moments like that. Instead we get good soup (which is too vague in description to be interesting) and ratatouille (which does look delicious). For a movie about cooking, it's sadly lacking in culinary money shots.
All in all Ratatouille is a likeable movie, but it never reaches the levels of greatness that it seeks to celebrate.
6/10
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